Disclaimer: 'Stargate' and 'Harry Potter' both belong to their respective creators, so I don't own them; I'm just borrowing them for the immediate moment in time and space
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Truth and Revelations
As he and George stood impatiently alongside General Landry outside the room that they had been informed was a prison cell, in the middle of what he and his brother had been informed was 'Area 51', Fred could only hope that this was going to be as straightforward as it had sounded in theory.
With Harry and the rest of SG-1 having left in the Odyssey already- and God, what was it about Harry and dropping into cool situations; the man left the wizarding world to study pyramids and he ended up going to other planets?-, and Hermione having taken Tonks and Lupin back to Camelot to do some additional research, it was left to the two of them to ensure that the SGC still had access to magic if things took a turn for the worse (Fred stopped that line of thought before he could take it too far; as Hermione had pointed out, the SGC had managed without magic for eight years already).
A part of him wished that Hagrid was still here, both for company purposes and the intimidation potential offered by the man's sheer size, but he knew that the giant's return to Britain had been necessary. After all, as much as he hated to admit it, none of them were kids any more; they had responsibilities to other people back home, so they had to ensure that the relevant people knew how the situation was progressing and help establish the necessary alibis for anyone who might need them.
Hagrid might not be the most discreet person when talking to people he knew and trusted in other matters- he'd certainly learned to be more careful after the incident that resulted in Charlie getting custody of 'Norberta'-, but he'd become a lot better at keeping secrets compared to how he'd been in the past, and his friendship with Harry had left him with a lot of contacts in the Hogwarts graduating classes of that time frame...
"You sure this is a good idea?" Fred asked, looking awkwardly at the general in an attempt to take his mind off that particular train of thought; he was getting into a very unique situation, but this wasn't the time to start potentially panicking about whatever responsibilities he would have to face up to right now.
"Honestly, I'm not," Landry said, shaking his head grimly in response to Fred's question, his gaze still fixed on the door in front of them. "However, he's the best person available to ask any Stargate-related questions, and we need that information if we're going to get anywhere; that Stargate's been out of action too long for this to be some kind of dialling glitch, and that recent information package from the Tok'ra definitely provided a few answers, but I'm stuck at what we're going to do if it does turn out to be true or why anyone would do something like that in the first place."
"Yeah; I mean, I get what you told me about some ships being able to use Stargates when they're taken on board in the right place, but who'd benefit from nicking those things when they're already standing around so many planets already?" George asked with a slight shrug, before he glanced in a sceptically inquiring at Landry. "On that topic, I really don't get why we needed to get all that food down here..."
"Nerus has a notorious appetite and hasn't eaten more than the essentials needed for survival since he was locked up; if we don't have something he wants, he might not tell us anything, and I don't feel inclined to placate him while we ait if he accepts the offer," Landry said. "Trust me, I don't like it any more than you do, but he's our best chance at getting information about this current mess."
"Want us to see about whipping up some Veritaserum if he doesn't tell us anything quickly enough?" Fred asked, looking at Landry with an inquiring smile.
"That's the... truth potion, right?" Landry asked, looking uncertainly at the twins before they nodded in confirmation of his question, prompting him to give them a brief smile of gratitude. "I'll keep that in mind, but I'd rather not start relying on that kind of thing; as Minister Granger said, we don't want to give anyone the impression that we're relying on you too much."
"Fair enough," Fred said- he could certainly appreciate the desire for some independence after his family's lessons on the importance of self-sufficiency-, before he turned his attention back to the door. "Anyway, shall we?"
In response, Landry hit the necessary switch to open the door and the three men walked into the room, their eyes quickly falling on the overweight man with thinning grey hair in drab prison garb sitting behind two more sets of bars, looking at the door in front of him with a solemn expression.
"General," the man said, a slightly whimsical tone to his voice that unnervingly reminded Fred and George of Umbridge (There weren't many people who everyone felt deserved Azkaban, but even Hermione had agreed that the former Undersecretary had deserved prison after her actions while at Hogwarts, even if she had banned the use of the Dementor's Kiss as a punishment). "They told me you were coming, but I didn't believe them. I said, 'I don't believe you'."
Landry didn't bother replying until a guard had opened the next door to the cell, allowing him and the two Weasleys to enter it while remaining slightly distant from the bars that kept Nerus separated from the outside world.
"Well, here I am," Landry said, smiling briefly at Nerus before he indicated the twins on either side of him. "These are Fred and George Weasley; they're... consultants."
"Interesting to meet you, I am sure," Nerus said, before his expression went from mild curiosity to more obvious disappointment as he looked at Landry in an almost pleading manner, his voice trembling slightly as he spoke. "You... come... to visit a... condemned prisoner... empty-handed?"
"You're not a condemned prisoner, Nerus," Landry said in a dismissively jovial voice, his tone becoming grimmer as he walked up to the next layer of bars in response to the dejection on the Goa'uld's face. "But if you tell me what I need to know, I'll arrange a feast, the likes of which you have not seen since you set foot on this planet."
"A feast?" Nerus said, his voice weak at the possibility of food after so long subsisting on the basic prison rations provided.
"I do not use the word lightly," Landry said resolutely.
"Nor do I," Nerus replied, shaking his head briefly in an attempt to be casual, even as his anticipation at the offer of food was obvious to all of his current visitors. "How may I be of service, my dear General?"
"Someone out there is stealing Stargates," Landry replied, prompting a contemplative expression to appear on Nerus's face. "We need to know who, how, and why."
"Stealing them?" Nerus said, licking his lips as he contemplated this new information.
"Beamed right off the planets with Asgard technology as far as we know," Landry confirmed.
"Well," Nerus said, looking thoughtfully off to the side of his cell before turning back to face Landry, "that must be maddening for you."
"Trust us, it is," Fred said, deciding that he might as well show that he and George weren't just there for security purposes. "We've got an idea or two about who it is, but we're fairly sure that you can give us a few more answers to our questions than what we've put together so far."
"But such a quandary must be worth more to you than a single, solitary, indulgent meal," Nerus said, an anticipatory smile on his face as he shifted his position in his chair. "Perhaps we could discuss my dietary requirements on a more permanent-?"
"Just so you know, we're taking one item off the menu for every minute that you spend trying to 'negotiate', and there's only so much we're willing to put on that menu anyway," George interjected, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Nerus. "Care to start talking now?"
He had to admit, it was moments like this that helped him understand the appeal of the 'good-cop/bad-cop' routine his dad had told them about from his experiments watching muggle movies and 'telly' shows when he was working on getting such things working without being hampered by magic; letting the other guy imagine what you could do to them was kind of 'fun' in its way...
"Can we talk over appetizers?" Nerus asked, obviously desperate as Landry indicated to the outside guard that he should open the outer cell door.
"We'll be back," Fred said, as he and his brother stood up and followed Landry out of the cell.
"Or maybe we won't," George added, pausing in the door to look back at Nerus with a reflective shrug that wouldn't give the Goa'uld any real idea what the joke-shop owner was actually planning to do to him. "We're fickle like that."
"General?" Nerus called after the three men as the door closed behind them, leaving Fred and George smiling at each other before Landry turned to look at them.
"Did you have to do that?" he asked, indicating the cell door as he studied them with a pointed stare, his voice low as they walked away so that Nerus couldn't hear them. "I get that you... have your way of doing things, but that kind of manner isn't exactly going to give Nerus- or any IOA who might be watching the tapes later- the impression that you're professionals at anything..."
"Act weird and people don't know what to expect; we figured the best way to make sure he stays off-balance was to give the impression that we're off-balance," Fred clarified with a casual shrug. "Right now that guy doesn't know who we are, why we're here or what we could do to him; keep him guessing, and he might be more inclined to talk so that you're not tempted to let us have free reign against him."
Despite his military training leaving him disinclined to take advice from people who were fundamentally amateurs- he respected that Doctor Jackson and Minister Granger had trusted them enough to bring them to the SGC in the first place, but these two men did own a joke shop, after all-, Landry smiled in agreement at the twins' assessments.
"Fair point," he said, before his eyes narrowed. "Just... don't give him one of those 'Canary Cream' things or anything like that until we've got some useful information out of him..."
"Or if we're sure he's not going to give us anything useful using your methods?" George asked with a slight shrug. "I mean, it doesn't last that long, but getting turned into a bird can throw you off your game if you're not expecting it..."
"I'm sure," Landry said, nodding briefly at his new associate, working to suppress the smile he felt at the thought of Nerus turning into a canary for any length of time.
He might not want to give away the existence of magic to the Goa'uld any time soon, but that didn't mean he couldn't fantasise about the possibilities of forcing them to experience real power after they'd spent so long pretending...
As he stared at Nerus as the other man chewed his way through the provided feast, George tried to remember the last time he'd seen someone who wasn't Ron eat so much food; even with his youngest brother as a precedent- as much as he missed the guy, he couldn't deny that food bills had become much easier to pay now that he wasn't around-, the idea that Nerus could apparently consider himself capable of eating an entire turkey after everything else he'd consumed so far was just... ridiculous.
"General," Nerus said, his mouth full as he held up a leg from the plate that was currently sitting on the table in his cell, "this chicken is most plump and delicious. You spoil me, General."
"It's called turkey," George said, exchanging brief glances with his brother at Nerus's ignorance- they hadn't seen this kind of social ignorance for years; after Hermione became Minister, she'd overseen a fairly extensive 'muggle awareness program' to encourage wizards to stop seeing themselves as being 'superior' to muggles- as Landry moved a few folding chairs from the side of the room to take up position in front of the cell.
"Turkey?" Nerus asked, as Landry and the two wizards sat down casually on the chairs.
"Another rare delicacy," Fred commented; given that they were dealing with an alien, they might as well let him think that they were giving him more of a treat than they really were in case it encouraged him to be more talkative later.
"Well, I must have more turkey," Nerus said, briefly yelling as he held up the leg before he burst into laughter, putting down the leg to pick up a soft pretzel instead. "What's this?"
"I'm losing patience, Nerus," Landry said, glaring ominously at the Goa'uld as George and Fred reached slightly into their inner coat pockets.
"Well, you already know who it is," Nerus said, apprehension momentarily obvious on his face as he looked at the twins' currently-concealed hands, evidently wondering what kind of weapon they might draw on him.
"So it is Ba'al," Landry said (George wished he'd read up a bit on what that 'Ba'al' guy was actually meant to be capable of apart from the fact that he'd been involved in that whole brainwashing thing they'd tackled a couple of weeks back; he'd just been assuming that old snake-features- coming up with nicknames for Voldemort after his death had been rather fun- would have shown more of an interest in doing something rather than letting everyone else keep carrying out their evil plots, but he supposed it was hard to take control of a galaxy after you'd spent so long focusing on a few countries).
"Of course it's Ba'al," Nerus said, an exasperated expression on his face even as his voice seemed to express amusement that they needed to ask the question in the first place. "Who else would it be?"
"Why would he do something like this?" Fred asked, staring pointedly at Nerus. "And don't try and insult us by suggesting that we should know already- if nothing else, for all you know we're just checking to see if your theories match ours-, or we'll be taking away your food for wasting our time."
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Nerus said, shaking his head urgently despite the slightly rambling nature of Fred's 'threat'. "There is no need for you to do such a thing, Mr Weasley; I have no intention of insulting those who would provide such a glorious bounty!"
"Good to know," Fred said with a brief nod. "So, what's he trying to do? Sell the Stargates back to the people he nicked them from, or just set them up on new planets so he's got some secret base only he knows about?"
Despite the fact that he'd just been guessing, Fred was pleasantly surprised when Nerus actually stopped eating after that last comment- it was definitely the second theory that was correct, he reflected; Nerus had actually looked slightly amused at the idea of the first suggestion-, looking at him with wide-eyed surprise.
"You... you are correct, Mr Weasley," he said, his unwilling surprise at that deduction evident on his face, a new edge of respect in his voice as he looked at the other man. "I am... impressed."
"My brother and I are good at thinking outside the box; it's why we're here in the first place," George said, shrugging slightly as the three men continued to stare at Nerus. "So, what else can you tell us?"
"Well," Nerus continued, swallowing his food as he smiled slightly at them, "some time ago, Ba'al came to me looking for a way to rebuild in the event that the Jaffa ever succeeded in conquering the Goa'uld. Now I had been studying the Stargate system for months, to help you defeat the Replicators, incidentally, and I stumbled upon a way to disable the correlative update program."
"So you could move a Stargate and not have it transmit its new position to the rest of the network," Landry concluded, providing Fred and George with the necessary information about what that meant without actually telling them what it meant.
"Precisely," Nerus said with a smile. "So it would seem that Ba'al has put my research into practice."
"Thus allowing him to create his own territory completely outside of anyone else's control because nobody knows the new Stargate addresses..." Fred said, trying not to show how relieved he was when Nerus and Landry nodded in confirmation; he'd definitely found the Stargates interesting when Harry had told them about the devices in question- it was almost ironic, really; their former Seeker had never been an actual teacher at any point in his life, and yet he'd always given them more interesting lessons than most of their official teachers, whether he was teaching Defence or what amounted to history-, but he was still primarily guessing what was going on here.
"Which leads us to where?" Landry asked.
"Uh... didn't we just guess that he's establishing a new Stargate network-?" George asked.
"That's a means, Mr Weasley; what we need to know right now is the end that Ba'al's aiming for," Landry clarified, glaring briefly at Fred before turning his attention back to the Goa'uld. "Care to answer that for us, Nerus?"
"I have a theory, General," Nerus said, still smiling as he looked at the other man, "but no assortment of cheeses, however delicious, could possibly compel me to tell you that."
"What did you have in mind?" Landry asked.
"My freedom," Nerus replied casually, in a simple, direct manner that made it clear that the topic he'd just raised would be the end of the conversation as far as he was concerned.
Exchanging glances with the two wizards for a moment, Landry nodded slightly at them and stood up.
"If you could just... give us a moment," he said, indicating the cell door behind them as Fred and George stood up with him. "My people and I need to... discuss this."
"Of course," Nerus said, still smiling after them in satisfaction. "I anticipate your answer, but keep in mind that, once Ba'al has implemented the program, it will be impossible to detect without my knowledge."
"We'll keep that in mind," George said, smiling slightly sarcastically at Nerus before he indicated the remaining dishes. "In the meantime, you just keep on chewing; we'd hate to cut out some of the other courses we've got coming for you."
Glancing over at Landry, George raised his eyebrow in a slightly inquiring manner, and was relieved when the general nodded briefly in response.
Nerus might have been talking of his own free will so far, but if he wouldn't share anything else on his own, what they'd heard so far had been enough to confirm that they would need to rely on veritaserum if they couldn't come with a better plan.
George just hoped that the Goa'uld wouldn't have too much of an impact on the potion's effectiveness; he knew that some potions wouldn't work if they were used on non-human creatures- he still remembered what Harry, Ron and Hermione had told him about the accident with Hermione and the cat hair while making Polyjuice potion, even if some things were only funny in hindsight-, but would that apply to something that was practically 'merged' with a human being...?
He'd definitely need to make a quick floo call before they tried that; he just hoped that Hermione or one of their other contacts- he recalled that Ernie had shown a bit of a knack for Potions after fifth year, or Penelope could be another candidate given her skills in that area and the more personal connection- could confirm what they needed in time.
AN: Just to confirm, George was thinking of contacting Ernie MacMillan and Penelope Clearwater; from what we know of them, they seem like they'd be good candidates for other Potions experts that could be consulted for somewhat unusual skills if the need arose (Although they obviously won't be informed about exactly WHAT the 'other' factor is).
Coming up next, back to SG-1, as they rescue SG-10 and find themselves dealing with Ba'al's latest scheme...