"Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

You're really pretty,

And I like you."

James gazed expectantly at Garrus, who remained entirely straight-faced. When James didn't begin laughing, he said, "Oh wait, that was serious? It was atrocious."

James's brow furrowed. "Really? What didn't you like?"

"I've literally heard a krogan write better poetry."

The bulky marine sighed heartedly. "How would you improve it?"

"By throwing it out the airlock."

He slumped his face into his hand. "Scars, I have no idea how I'm gonna get this girl without poetry. I'm not as suave as you. I mean look at you, you got Shepard for Christ's sake."

"Be yourself, my friend. You have to do it from the heart. I've known Ashley for a long time, and although she loves her poetry she also hates bullshit. So just tell her how you feel, be honest, and the rest will fall into place."

"Scars, I feel like I gave the same speech to you a few weeks ago."

"And now Shepard and I are back together. Time to listen to your own advice, eh?"

James cleared his throat loudly.

"You have a great shot,

And pretty hair too.

I would like it a lot,

If I could grab a drink with you."

Liara crossed her arms, contemplating how to let him down gently. "It is a bit... proletariat, don't you think?"

"What do you mean?"

"It is the worst poetry I have heard in my years. If you desire her so greatly, you must compliment her genuinely. Tell her the things about her that you find to be so special."

"I like her boobs."

"Please leave."

"This is a haiku,

It is a haiku for you,

Please go out with me."

Javik growled loudly. "Get out of my quarters before fry you up for supper."

"You are nice,

But you are tough.

I will buy you some rice,

And hope that you like it rough."

James didn't see Tali's lip curl beneath her mask. "Just get her drunk, you're hopeless otherwise."

He took a series of deep breaths to pump him up before he knocked on the door of the Starboard Observation Deck.

Don't fuck this up, Vega.

She swung the door open almost immediately, a wide smile lighting up her face at the sight of him. "What's up, James?"

He held up the bottle in his hand. "Care to split this tequila with me, lo bello?"

She shrugged noncommittally. "Yeah alright, come on in."

Don't fuck this up, Williams.

A/N: Another one of my silly little intermissions! Let me clarify that I don't think James is really that dumb (I actually love him), he's just easy to pick on.