Four's heart soars as he leads Tris around the edge of the Pit, toward the hidden passageway behind the waterfall. He feels the pressure of her hand in his and never wants to let it go. As his mind drifts to a life with Tris, his fingers start to rub random patterns in her hand and he feels her shiver. His heart is pounding at what he's revealed to her today and he feels light at her acceptance of his past. He hears her clear her throat, "So, four fears?" He smiles and glances at her curious expression, amazed she held it in this long. "Four fears then, four fears now. They haven't changed so I keep going in, but I haven't made any progress."
Tris smiles at him, "Someone once told me you can't be fearless, remember? You still care about things, people, and your life." Four responds, nodding along with her logic, "I know." He pulls her through the narrow passageway that only he knows about and he feels another question coming on from her. "You were going to tell me about your test results remember? What were they?" Four scratches the back of his neck, unsure of sharing this secret, one he's been so afraid to say out loud. "Does it matter?"
Determined as ever, Tris pushes him and he knows he can't escape her. "Yes, I want to know." Four loves how strong she is, holding her own and staying true to herself. He has watched too many girls at Dauntless change who they were just for a boy's attention and he loves that she refuses that. "You are quite demanding." Four stops and lets her take in where they are, seeing her wide eyes explore the bottom of the chasm. He continues and pulls her around small ridges and gaps and finds the flat rock he always sits on. He sits down and leaves room for her to sit next to him and she pulls herself down. He releases her hand slowly, not wanting to lose the contact but feeling very nervous about where the conversation is headed.
Four looks Tris in the eyes before he answers her question. "These are things I don't tell people, not even my friends in this much detail." Four takes a deep breath and lets go of the last secret he's holding on to, "My result was expected, Abnegation." As he says this he sees her face fall, realizing she was hoping he was like her, Divergent. In a way Four was, he had chosen to leave, move out of the faction he was in and in essence fight the system.
Tris looked at him still looking deflated from his news, "But you chose Dauntless anyway?" She looked so hopeful, which is why he proceeded to break down the walls he had been building for so long. "Out of necessity." Tris was studying him closely now, with that piercing look she was so good at. He couldn't say anything else, his mind overcome by emotion from what he had escaped by coming here.
"You had to get away from your dad?" Tris correctly guessed. She was so perceptive, Four always felt that she could see right through him. She continued with her examination of him, "Is that why you don't want to be a leader? If you were, you might have to see him again?" He smiled at her, loving how she knew him so well in the short time since they met. Four answered her question with complete honesty, "That and I have been feeling lately that I don't exactly belong here either, not with the way Dauntless is now." Tris' face fills with shock and Four eagerly waits for her to explain. "But you're, incredible!" Tris exclaims and then realizes her slip up, still uncomfortable with showing so much emotion towards him, "I mean by Dauntless standards. The fact that you only have four fears, how could you not belong here?"
Four shurgs and brushes off her exclamation of his talent, not sure how to accept it without looking like a total crazy person. He secretly surges with pride at the idea that she noticed and has thought about how talented he is. He responds after he has his emotions in check, "I feel that selflessness and bravery aren't all that different, after training all your life to forget yourself, even when you are in danger, it is your first instinct. I believe I could be in Abnegation just as easily, if it weren't for where I came from."
He sees Tris thinking it over and feels she doesn't agree but doesn't push it. He enjoys slowly learning about each other, letting each secret out piece by piece. Finally she responds to him, "Well I left Abnegation because I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I tried." Four had no idea what he was talking about, she was the most selfless person he knew. Who else let someone throw knives at them to save their friends, or blamed themselves when someone took their own life, or jumped in front of a belt to save someone they barely knew. Four had to make her understand how he saw her, how amazing she was.
"That is not entirely true Tris. You let me throw knives at you to save Al and you jumped in front of my father to protect me without even thinking. Those are amazing selfless feats that were pure instinct for you." Too late he realized how much he was paying attention to her throughout initiation and his outright confession of that fact to her now. He couldn't take it back and part of him was happy she finally knew. Her face let him know she didn't miss his confession and wasn 't going to let it go.
"You've been paying close attention haven't you?" Tris smirked. Four had no way out of this but tried anyway, knowing she wouldn't let him get away with it. "I like to observe people," he said and already felt her laughing.
"Good thing you didn't choose Candor, you are a terrible liar Four," Tris said struggling to keep a straight face. He just stared at her and realized he could stay down here with her forever, just being a boy and girl, free to explore the growing feelings between them. Four felt so free that he allowed the careful self control he normally maintained around Tris slide away like the water flowing beneath their feet. He had enough of the hiding and worrying; no one could control him here, not even Eric.
He leaned close to her face and laid it all on the line, feeling everything he had been holding in for so long bubble to the surface, pushing to come out. "Fine," he whispered while holding her eyes with a fierce gaze, "I watched you because I like you. And it's nice to hear my name again, so you can stop calling me Four." He saw the surprise cross her face at his proclamation, clear as day, she wasn't expecting him to proclaim his feelings to her so boldly. Then he saw something that made his stomach flip inside of him, a feeling he normally associated with high places. The look in her eyes told him she felt the same way but then a spark appeared and he knew she wasn't going to let that out easily.
Four saw a blush appear across her cheeks, followed by a smirk. "But you're older than I am Tobias." He almost kissed her when he heard his name, not having heard it for two years. It sounded so good coming from her, cementing the bond they were forming today. He couldn't stop the smile from stretching across his face as he answered her back playfully, "Yes, that whopping two year age gap really is insurmountable, isn't it?" In Abnegation, it would probably be frowned upon, although everything they've done up to this point would have been so Four didn't really care.
Tris continued, building on his previous comment. He just hoped she wasn't trying to let him down easy, there was no easy way out of the feelings he had for her. If she rejected him, he would leave and become factionless today, unable to face a world without her touch. Tris got his attention by saying, "I'm not trying to be self-deprecating, I just don't get it. I'm younger, I'm not pretty, I-" Four laughs at her response, a laugh of disbelief. It wasn't that she didn't like him, he knew she did, it's that she didn't think she was good enough for him. He knew girls found him attractive, they threw themselves at him all the time but she was the only girl that had ever caused him to stop and take notice.
She took his laugh to mean something else and he immediately regretted it. "Don't pretend," she said, "You know I'm not. I'm not ugly but I'm certainly not pretty." Four realized he wasn't going to win an argument of yes and no so he took a different approach. "Fine," he started, "You're not pretty. So? I like how you look and you are deadly smart. You're brave and when you found out about Marcus, you didn't look at me like a kicked puppy." That was the best he had, to convince her that she was the only girl he saw and she had affected his life in more ways than he could say.
"Well you aren't." Her eyes flashed at him, telling him again how strong she thought he was. That was all Four's body needed. He felt himself moving forward and couldn't stop himself if he had wanted to, which was not the case. All the reasons to hold back left his mind as he leaned in and brushed her lips with his. A jolt went through his body, waking up every nerve like they had never been before. He used to love the rush he got when he fired a weapon perfectly or threw a knife accurately but nothing matched this.
He knew the river was near them but he couldn't hear it over his pounding heart when he pulled back. He saw the passion mirrored in her eyes and smiled. He smiled at where he was today, finally finding what was missing in his life. He pressed his mouth to hers again, never wanting the feeling to end, and felt her stiffen slightly. He realized this may be the first time for both of them to share something so intimate with each other. If they were both still in Abnegation, they wouldn't even be allowed to share this.
Four wanted to show her how much he cared for her so he takes her face in his hands and kisses her firmer, more certain. This is why he was compelled to stay one last year, something kept him here to find her and he was never letting her go. He feels her arm wrap around him and her hand slide up his neck. His whole body was on fire, a blazing trail following her hand as it snaked into his hair. The kiss continued and Four put everything he had into it, wanting her to know how much she meant to him. Finally, reluctantly, he pulls away and lifts her with him, taking her hand.
As they exited the chasm, he saw a different future stretch out before him, a safer one bathed in grey, where Tris would have been his wife. As they leave, he knows he has changed, a different person from the boy who entered the chasm only minutes prior. He was no longer held down by fear but awoken by fire.
The last thing he thought as they left was how they would have to proceed carefully until the initiation was over, fighting against how much he just wanted to grab her and kiss her again.