Today was the final day Four has to hide his feelings. After today, the results will be in and he and Tris can finally become public. He thought maybe they should wait a day or two but he knew he wouldn't be able to hold off for a second longer than he had to. Four skips his run to help set up the fear landscape room. The chairs for the leaders are placed near their computers that will hook them into each initiate's landscape. Four wonders what fears Tris will face but doesn't have a worry in his body, he knows she will do well enough to rank high, maybe even number one.
The initiates arrived and Four sees them all line up and wait for their turn. Tris is near the end and walks past him without any acknowledgement, she finally understood the reason for them to be so secretive. She will enter last and Tobias sees there isn't a chair for her, which won't affect her due to her Abnegation background. Any other initiate would have probably complained but not Tris, she just stands and waits. Four hears Uriah offer her his lap and he glares at Uriah but thankfully Tris declines. The leaders might ask questions if they see Four punch Uriah in the face, which is what would have happened had he pushed it further.
All the other initiates go through their landscape and Four is barely paying attention but finally it's Tris' turn and he pushes off the wall he was leaning on and approaches the area. Four sees Eric stab her with the syringe, a little harder than necessary, and he wishes he was able to do it. He wanted to be the last thing she saw, give her some of his strength before she faces her fears but he can't so he just sends her positive thoughts. He won't be able to see her fears, only the leaders can, but he can watch her reactions. 'You can do it Tris, stay calm and get out as fast as you can,' he thinks.
She enters and Four watches closely, trying to pick out her fears as she experiences them. The first one had to be the birds, he sees her staring up at the ceiling which would be the sky to her and then reach down at the ground for something. As soon as her hand grips something, he sees what looks like aiming and assumes she found a gun to battle the birds. Four can tell the simulation shifts because he sees Tris pushing against an invisible wall and knows she is in the box. 'Just don't break the glass Tris.' Four thinks. He sees her try once but it must not work. As she takes in a breath, Four realizes she is going to let herself drown and has no idea how that girl can face her fears head on the way she does. That one took her a little time, Four hopes she moves faster through the next ones.
Next he sees her body being flung around, no idea what fear she is facing, until he remembers the ocean. He watches her quickly overcome it and slide into the next simulation. She must be on the stake because her arms are glued to her side and she isn't moving. He watches her face and suddenly she smiles up at the sky and is free. She moves on and he sees surprise cross her face followed closely by confusion, she must be facing a new fear. Four closes his eyes and prays she is able to overcome it quickly. When he opens his eyes, he sees her face pale as she is facing something and she whips around, again looking at something that Four can't see.
He sees her raise her hands again as if firing a gun and begins screaming. Four's body reacts, trying to get to her to save her but he holds his spot firm. Finally she crawls into something and seems to close a door. The situation must end and she moves on to the next fear. How many has that been? Four? Five?
All of a sudden, Four sees her smile, the big wide smile he's only seen on her face when she's looked at him. What could she be possibly facing that would make her smile like that? As soon as he thought this, he saw the smile disappear only to be replaced by uncertainty, which quickly changes into panic. He sees her shiver and put her hands up as if pushing something away. Her hands go to her forehead as if unsure of how to move past this fear. 'Come on Tris you can do it, just think your way through it, run from it or kill it, whatever you have to do to conquer your fear.' He sees her neck turn to the side and he recognizes the movement, it couldn't be could that, from the other night on the train. She shouts something which Four can't hear and watches her grab something up high, turn it and push her face into it, almost as if she's-" Suddenly she stops and Four sees the weight of the invisible gun in Tris' hand, he remembers this fear. It's the hardest one for him to watch because of her decision at the end.
Four watches her say "No" as she always does to the gun pressed to her temple and he knows she is refusing to kill her family. This was always the one she took the longest on and he hopes today she pushes through quickly. Her eyes are flashing between what can only be specific family members as if trying to figure out which one to kill first. Finally Four sees her turn to the gun and he has to look away, he can never watch her as the invisible person pulls the trigger. He sees the light against his eyelids and when he opens them sees her fear landscape is over.
Four has to follow Max and Eric into the room and gathers himself so as to approach her without any of the emotions coursing through his body right now. He is so proud of her for completing it so quickly, curious about the one fear he has never seen before, and torn up at the thought of her taking a bullet to the head. Four gives her a small smile that she returns before turning to Eric.
"Congratulations Tris, you have successfully completed the last part of your training." Four notices she looks sick to her stomach and wonders if the last simulation stuck with her, his always does for a few minutes after. He hears Eric continue and curiously looks up as Eric says, "There's just one more thing before the welcoming banquet." Four sees Eric remove a syringe from a black box and tenses up, what is he doing? There is no need for another injection and he begins to move forward to stop it until he realizes that would be an awful choice. Eric continues, "Just a tracking device, in case you go missing. It doesn't happen often but we have to be cautious just the same. We can thank our friends at Erudite for this one." Before she can say anything he plunges it into her neck and injects the serum into her. "The banquet is in two hours, your ranking will be announced then." Eric turns and walks away and Four's stomach twists at the thought of what just got injected into Tris.
Four lingers and waves for Tris to follow him after most of the people leave the room. She quickly follows him through the glass room as Four keeps his eyes forward, never looking down. He turns and smiles at her before addressing her about her landscape, "I heard you only had seven fears to face, that's impressive." She pales at the mention of her landscape and curiosity springs up again, wondering what that other fear was that he had never seen before. He lets it go as she asks, "You weren't watching the simulation?" He hears an almost hopeful tone to her voice.
Four shook his head no, "Only the screens to see your reactions, the Dauntless leaders are the only ones who can see what you see. They seemed impressed with you." The continued walking and Four couldn't help but encourage her about her scores, "I wouldn't be surprised if you were ranked number one." As they pass through other rooms, people congratulate Tris as she stays close to Four. He continues walking and when they exit the room, he turns toward her, wanting to stay with her until the banquet.
Before he can ask, she speaks up. "How much did they tell you about my landscape?" She looks so nervous, Four can barely contain the questions he wants to ask but he knows she will tell him when she is ready. "Not much why?" "No reason," she responds.
Four stares at her and then asks, "Do you have to go back to the dormitory? Because if you want some peace and quiet, you can stay with me until the banquet." He watches her face turn, as if scared at the thought of being alone with him. His stomach drops, sure of what was in her landscape now. Could she be afraid of him? "What is it?" Four asks. "Nothing, let's go." Tris walks ahead of him, forcing him to catch up to her.
They head to his apartment and he opens the door for her. She slips in and Four immediately grabs her and kisses her, cradling her head with his hand. He wanted to do that all morning especially after she finished her landscape and it was all he could do to stop himself until now. As his kisses her, he begins to push her jacket off her shoulders and she pushes him away. Four has no idea what is going on as he watches her press her palms to her face.
"What's going on?" He fears her answer, wondering if she decided he wasn't worth the work or stress. She shakes her head and Four becomes angry, not wanting to have to wait if she was going to break this off. "Don't tell me it's nothing, look at me." Her eyes lift to his and what he sees makes him scared and angry at the same time. He sees doubt and fear looking back at him.
"Sometimes I wonder what's in it for you? Why me?" Tris asks in a hushed voice. Four exhales angrily, he thought they went over this already. "Tris don't be an idiot, how can you ask that?"
"I am not an idiot," she exclaims, "I just think it's weird, of all the girls you could have, you chose me. If you are just looking for…well…you know." Four scowls, realizing now he was right about what was in her landscape. She feared that he would push for sex. "Sex? I can guarantee if I wanted that, you wouldn't be the first person I would go to." As soon as he said it, he regretted it. The way it came out was not how he meant it but he couldn't take it back now. From the look on her face, she took it the wrong way too. "I'm going to leave now." She turned to walk away but Four stopped her, pulling her back to him.
"No, Tris. That's not what I meant. I'm sorry I said that, I meant that you aren't like that which I knew when I met you." The next words that followed will haunt Four for the rest of his life. Without meeting his eyes, she said, "You were in my fear landscape, did you know that?" Her lip begins to quiver and all Four wants to do is kiss her but that would not help this situation.
"What?" He knew the words were coming but can't help his body's reaction when he quickly releases her arm. All he can think of is the fear he saw in his mother's eyes every time she looked at his father and he vowed the person he loved would never fear him. "You're afraid of me?" She must have known how that hurt him because she quickly explained.
"Not you! Being with you…anyone like that. I've never been involved with someone before and you are…older…and I don't know what your expectations are and-" He cuts her off, unable to allow her to continue.
"Tris, I don't know what delusion you are under but this is all new to me too." He sees her eyes light up with surprise and realizes she must assume he's had sex before, been with girls before. She doesn't know she is his first as well, that he was too Abnegation to do that when he first got here. After he settled in to Dauntless life, he was too obsessed with leaving that he didn't want to start anything. Until she showed up in that net and changed it all.
"Delusion? You mean you haven't? Oh, I just assumed." Her cheeks flushed and Four had never found her more attractive than at that point. "Well you assumed wrong Tris. You can tell me anything, you know. I am kinder than I appear in training." His cheeks flush with embarrassment as well. He leans in and kisses her between the eyebrows, loving the crease she gets there when she is thinking hard. Slowly, he leans down, not wanting to scare her, and fits his mouth to hers. As his hands drift over her shoulders, he feels a bandage and immediately worries she was hurt when he wasn't around.
Four pulls back to examine it only to see it is covering up a tattoo. "Another tattoo?" Tris nods her head. Four is curious and asks, "Can I see?" Tris pulls her sleeve down and slips her shoulder out of it. Four sees the Abnegation symbol on her shoulder and rubs his hands over it, causing goosebumps to jump over her skin again. He laughs and says, "I have the same one on my back." He loves that they have something connecting them, even if it is a tattoo they each got at different times.
He sees her thinking something and a second later asks, "Can I see it?" Four feels a smirk and decides to tease her a little to lighten the mood. "Tris, are you asking me to undress?" He sees nerves cross her face and hears a little giggle escape before she answers, "Only partially." The glance she gives him almost makes him tackle her onto his bed but that would be going against what he just told her.
He nods and as he lifts his eyes to hers, suddenly he feels very serious. He unzips his jacket and focuses his eyes on her.. He feels her eyes boring holes into him and he grabs the hem of his t-shirt and pulls it over his head. He faces her and watches her eyes scan his body. He can't look at her due to the emotions coursing through him. He hears her whisper, "What is it?" Four shifts his feet and answers, "I don't invite many people to look at me."
Tris softly says, "I can't imagine why, look at you." She walks around him and Four stands perfectly still, wondering what is going through her head. He hears her gasp as she sees his back, all the factions tattooed down his spine, wrapped in Dauntless flames. He can feel her curiosity so he decides to answer the questions she isn't asking. "I feel we all made a mistake separating into factions the way we have. We've all started to put down the virtues of the other factions, focusing on just ours, but I want to be more than one thing. I want to be brave, selfless, smart, kind and honest." He clears his throat, lightening the mood with a joke, "I'm still working on kind."
He hears her whisper, "No one's perfect, it doesn't work that way. If one bad thing goes away, another takes it's place." Four feels her hand skim over Abnegation's symbol on his back and it's all he can do not to move. Her touch wakes him up in a way nothing else ever has before. "We have to warn them soon you know." He knows she is speaking of the plan of war and answers with complete certainty, "We will."
Four can't stand it any longer and turns toward her, needing to see her face. He sees her struggling with something, assuming it's from her fears. "Is this scaring you Tris?" She shakes her head, "No, not really, I'm only afraid of what I want." Four can't breathe, he would go as far as she would let him, but he won't push her. He has far too much respect for her to do that.
"What do you want? Me?" He asks, with so much fear of the answer, he is sure it will be added to his landscape. Thankfully she nods and it's all he needs. He grabs her hands and places her palms on his stomach. Her touch is electrifying and he knows she feels it too. He pushes her hands up, gliding them over his abdomen and chest and then places them on his neck, holding them tightly there. He sees her blush and shiver from the contact but he continues to stare at her. "Someday, if you want me, we can…we can," he tries to say but can't finish. She smiles at him and then wraps her arms around him and presses her face into his chest, a sign that she trusts him completely.
Four stops breathing for a moment from the feeling of her skin on his and he knows she can hear his heart pounding so fast. "Are you afraid of me Tobias?" she asks as she smiles into his chest. He let's out a little laugh and smiles before answering, "Terrified." It was the truth, he had never let his guard down like this before and he was terrified of what could happen to him or her because of it. He feels her turn her head into his throat and he stops breathing again. The next thing she says will stay with him forever, as it is a sign of her utmost trust of him and faith that they will move forward together.
"Maybe you won't be in my fear landscape anymore." As she says it, he bends his head down and kisses her passionately, pouring his whole heart into that kiss. As he pulls away, he murmurs on her lips, "Then everyone can call you Six."
"Four and Six." Four's heart leaps at the words, finally hearing her acknowledge that they are together, one unit. He kisses her again and it feels right, familiar. They fit together, his arms fit smoothly around her waist and her hands are on his chest. He finally feels whole again, the parts of him damaged by Marcus so many years ago filled up with her love. He memorizes her lips and body but mostly the pressure of her lips on his, never wanting to feel the emptiness that consumed his life before her again.