I Go To The Barn Because I Like The - Band of Horses

A sing-song voice rang from the doorway, "Shepard? Garrus? Is now a good time?"

Considering the fact that Shepard was topless and straddling her future husband, it was a terrible time, but they both knew she could never say no to her crew. "I'll be right there!" she called. A long sigh escaped her lips as she shot Garrus an apologetic glance before standing and putting on her bra, tank top, and hoodie. She opened the door and Liara appeared with an excited grin on her face, her arms overflowing with data pads, drawings, and diagrams.

"What's all this?" Shepard asked with a raised brow as Liara strolled in, taking a seat at their couch and splaying the paperwork on the table.

"Wedding planning," the asari responded in an isn't-that-obvious? tone.

"Well we were really hoping to have a small ceremony-"

"Please, do you really think I'm going to allow Commander Shepard to have a small ceremony?"

Shepard shot a desperate glance at Garrus, who exaggeratedly rolled his eyes.

"It's going to be the ceremony of your dreams," Liara continued. "The theme will be unity; I'm envisioning an incorporation of both turian and human elements. Have you sent in your application with the turian meritocracy yet?"

"No," they said in unison.

"Have you decided if Shepard will be donning your clan markings yet?"

"No."

"Have you decided on a human adjudicator?"

"No."

"Have you thought about any aspect of planning your wedding at all?"

"Really, Liara, we wanted something very low-key and we were planning on waiting until after the war was over."

"Do you understand how important this event is?" she snapped. "Not just for you, but for the entire galaxy. It's a symbol of unity in the face of adversity, of two previously warring species overcoming their biases and finding love!"

Shepard was speechless. Although she knew that their relationship was well reported by various media outlets, she had expended little thought on the political ramifications. Her thoughts were interrupted by further knocking at the door, and when she opened it, Traynor walked in with more data pads and diagrams crowding her arms.

"Liara's here already? Good. I have a list of suitable vendors on Earth, Palaven, and the Citadel." She strolled in, dumping her own paperwork on their table and taking a seat next to Liara. "For our unity theme I think the Citadel is our best bet, but their largest venue can only hold 500 guests…"

500 guests? Shepard thought to herself. I don't even know 500 people.

As Liara and Traynor chatted away, there was another knock at the door, but before Shepard could answer it, Ashley let herself in. "Alright everyone, I have a list of the highest-rated dextro- and levo-supporting caterers, although most are requesting bookings two years in advance I'm sure they would make an exception for Shepard." She took a seat beside Traynor and Liara and the three began maniacally chatting away. They only acknowledged Zoey and Garrus to ask them the occasional question, such as 'is Roquefort an acceptable cheese hors d'oeuvre?' or 'what flower well accompanies the gladiolus for the centerpieces?' At one point, Liara pulled Garrus aside to take measurements for his suit, which she insisted would be 'custom made by the finest turian tailor for the occasion'.

After two hours the trio left, chattering contentedly among each other on their way out the door. "Well, we officially have no say in our wedding," Garrus commented to Shepard.

She shrugged. "If it makes those three happy, I'd rather just leave them to their devices and ride through it."

He took a seat on the couch and she sat on his lap with a long sigh. "If you could have it your way, what would you do?"

"Hmm." She mindlessly traced circles along his side with her forefinger. "I suppose I never was the type of girl who dreamed about her wedding. I always thought it was a whole lot of fuss over nothing, and it always seemed like the whole charade is more for the family than for the couple."

Garrus chuckled. "From what I've seen of human ceremony, charade seems like an apt description."

"Well, how do turians do things?"

"You put in your application with the meritocracy, and if it's accepted, you go to a court house and officiate, and if either mate is taking the other's clan markings, that's where they'll be applied."

"That's a hell of a lot more simple than a huge ceremony. However, humans have always loved their ceremonies and their grandeur."

"Most humans," he corrected. "Not my human."

She giggled and nuzzled his nose with her own. "So, what's the meritocracy's common policy with applications involving non-turian mates?"

"Normally - but not always - the applications are denied, meaning that the turian can still marry, but will lose their place in the hierarchy."

She pulled away from him so she shoot him an abashed expression. "Why didn't you tell me that earlier? I would have never accepted if I knew that."

He caught a loose strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. "Nothing to be concerned about, my love. Being an Expert Reaper Advisor to the Primarch of Palaven has its advantages, especially when that Primarch is exceedingly pro-human."

"Why don't you send a message to Victus, see if you can meet with him tomorrow while we're on the Citadel?"

He brushed his mouth against her cheek. "Of course." She leaned in to rest her head on his chest, sighing in contentment. He wrapped his arms around her body to surround himself with her warmth.

"Have you ever thought about kids?" Garrus inquired.

"Other than my adamant dislike of them?"

"I mean having them. You and I."

"Don't think our conflicting anatomies would allow that sort of thing."

"There are other ways. We could adopt, we could use a donor, we could find a geneticist who would be willing to try and create the first turian-human baby..."

"You can scratch at least one of those off the list."

"Why?"

She let out a short sigh. "I don't mean to get into an anatomy lesson here, but I haven't had a menstrual cycle since Cerberus brought me back. Something about the repairing cell must put a halt to the reproductive cycle."

"There are always options, if you wish to consider them."

"You really want children, don't you?"

"Yes," he answered without pause. "Wouldn't it be fun to wake up to the pitter patter of little feet? To raise a child as your own, to live in their successes and triumphs?"

"It would be hard, putting the guns and the armour away. Changing our lives, settling down. But it would be worth it to see you changing a diaper."

"We would hire a nanny for diaper duty," Garrus countered. "Or just bring Traynor over."

"She'd love that."

"I think I would just want a girl so that I could sit on the porch polishing my Black Widow when she brings her first boyfriend around."

Zoey threw her head back and laughed. "I think the first boyfriend would be the last! Although, we'd have the safest kids in the galaxy, protected by Momma Shepard and Daddy Vakarian."

Garrus ran a talon over his chin in a mock thoughtful expression. "You know, I should just bring all the guys over when the first boyfriend is around. She'd have a lot of protective uncles, after all. Uncle Wrex, Uncle Grunt, Uncle Zaeed..."

"...And her real uncle, Mal!"

"We'd never see the kid, they would be spending so much time with the various aunts and uncles."

"I wish my mother could still be here. Half the reason she had three kids was to guarantee that she had grandkids to spoil!" She rested her forehead against his. "At least you had the chance to meet each other. She died knowing that I have you to make me happy.

"You know Garrus, I've never considered having kids, but the thought of settling down with you and having a couple little rug rats is rather tempting." She affectionately rubbed his mandible. "I just can't get over the thought that I'll have to watch you age, watch them age, while staying just like this."

His eyes blazed with determination. "We'll make it work, Shepard. We always do."