A/N: Happy Friday! I wanted to take this time to thank everyone who has stuck through this emotional roller coaster with me. Things haven't been easy since the events on Thessia, and I really love and appreciate all of my loyal readers. You make my day :)
We're getting very close to the end of this fic, I expect the last chapters to be posted on Friday of next week.
Thanks again to everyone and I'll see you again on Monday!
Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
"Good morning, my love."
Shepard rolled over onto her other side, and there he was. Garrus. Bright light was cascading from her window, illuminating the dust motes that floated around him. His mandibles flickered into smile and he reached to tenderly slide a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Good morning, love of my life," she muttered to him, kissing him tenderly. He was as warm and salty as always.
As he pulled her in closer to him, his hot breath tickling her hair, he whispered into her ear, "I will always love you, Zoey, more than anything in the galaxy. You're the woman of my dreams, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my days with you."
When she opened her eyes and he was gone, she lay in bed weeping until her ducts held no more tears.
Although Liara was well-versed in coping mechanisms, Shepard's current actions were highly unusual.
It began with the memorial. Although (for reasons that entirely perplexed Liara) Shepard had been entirely opposed to the idea, the crew did it anyways. As Ashley promised, they kept it minimal: everyone gathered around the memorial wall to say their goodbyes and to put up Garrus's name. Shepard hid just out of sight for the majority of the service, but when Tali was about to put his name up, Shepard stopped her and insisted that she do it herself.
Although her hands were shaking violently, her eyes had remained dry as she put his name plate on the wall. Her hand rested on his name for an eternity as she took the moment to finally admit to herself that he was gone.
As Shepard lowered her hand and accepted the validity of the moment, the previous night's dream hauntingly clear in her mind, the crew began to filter back to work, directing the Normandy towards Horizon. But Shepard stayed at that wall until she grew hungry, so she made herself a quick lunch before returning to the wall to eat it. After lunch, she went to her quarters to bring a stack of datapads downstairs so she could pull up a chair and complete her work in front of the wall. When she grew tired of paperwork, she brought her weapons and armour in front of the wall to clean them before they landed.
Liara swore at times that she heard Shepard make the occasional comment to the memorial wall, like Garrus was still there with her. Neither she nor any of the other crew members had the heart to say anything to their grieving commander.
But one of the most unusual moments occurred when Shepard joined Tali and James in the cargo bay before landing at the Sanctuary facility. Although Shepard was adorned in her usual armour, in place of her helmet she wore Garrus's visor.
The sight prompted James to gasp, but when Shepard had looked away, Cortez shot him a look that said 'don't-say-a-word'. Knowing that Cortez had so recently been grieving for his loss, James obliged and remained silent.
As their first combat mission since Thessia, Shepard fought with a renewed ruthlessness. The pain of her loss brought new energy to her biotics, and she easily tore through the enemies that came close to her; most of which were unable to since they dropped like flies at the hand of her new Widow. She was a surgeon with the rifle, cutting through barriers, armour, and shields like they weren't even there.
"That's another one!" she shouted to no one in particular when she dropped a Marauder with full shields in a single shot, although Liara had a sneaking suspicion that she had spoken expecting Garrus to answer. When Shepard realized that no one had replied, she swiftly dropped her competitive nature.
She continued to fight. She continued to kill. But gone was the ease of having Garrus at her six; gone were the days of jokes and jabs as they masterfully worked as a team; gone were the days of glancing behind her to catch him watching her move with a sly smile on his face.
Now, it was only war.
"Henry Lawson."
Her voice didn't waver; her gun-wielding right hand remained steady.
The strongest men trembled when Shepard commanded such respect. Unfortunately for Miranda's father, he was not a strong man. "Commander Shepard," he responded, tightening his grip on both his weapon and his younger daughter.
"I'm going to give you two very simple options. But know that under no circumstances will you be leaving this room alive." That made him nervous. His eyes grew wide and his face paled as he shifted his weight uncomfortably. She gave him no time to respond as she continued, "Option number one: you try any funny business with Orianna, Miranda, or either of my crew members, and you, me, and my good friend combat knife are going to have some alone time. It will be slow, it will be excruciating, and you will die, just like the innocents that you experimented on. Option two: I leave you in the care of Miranda, to do what she pleases."
As quickly as a striking snake, Lawson aimed his pistol at Shepard and shot three times. The first two bounced off her shields, but the third penetrated her chest and she fell to the ground from the impact. He was grinning wickedly until Shepard began to stand, approaching him while the flesh on her chest crawled inwards to heal itself. His eyes filled with horror as he threw Orianna aside and attempted to continually shoot Shepard; but she just laughed maniacally as the blood from her wounds ceased to flow. "The Illusive Man must not have trusted you if he didn't tell you about Pluvia! Oh, that strikes a nerve, doesn't it?" Lawson tripped over a bump and sprawled helplessly on the ground, whimpering. "MIRANDA! What should I do with your scumbag father?"
Her heels clicked as she approached Shepard, her pistol drawn. She pointed it at her father's face and fired.
"Shepard, thank you," she whispered. "You saved my sister, and you saved me. But…" Her fingertips reached and tenderly touched Garrus's visor. "What happened?"
"A lot has changed," Shepard replied harshly. Her exhale was low and ragged. "Come to the ship with me. Bring Orianna. I'll explain everything there."
"Of course, Shepard."
The women sat across from each other, cross-legged on Shepard's bed with a box of chocolates between them. With emotion and detail reserved for good friends, Shepard took two hours telling Miranda everything that had happened between the last time they saw each other on the Citadel and Sanctuary.
"My God, Shepard," Miranda whispered. "Garrus is gone, really gone. I would never say that he and I saw eye-to-eye but he loved you and cared about you very much. No one deserves that fate."
"I never trusted The Illusive Man, but I once thought our goals were compatible. But this? He's gone too far."
Miranda pulled up her omni-tool, a grim smile on her face. "I have something for you then. I placed a tracker on Kai Leng's ship." Shepard's eyes followed the blinking light on the iridescent omni-tool. "I'll forward it to you now; it will take you straight to his base."
"You're a miracle worker, Miranda. Brilliant work."
"It's the least I can do."
Shepard's eyes darted across the intel on her omni-tool. "Looks like we're headed to the Horsehead Nebula. Anywhere I can take you and Orianna on the way?"
"I heard Noveria's lovely," Miranda responded with a chuckle.
"If frostbite is your thing then it's paradise. Do you really want to go to that hell hole?"
"They have a budding spaceport, and you have a galaxy to save. We'll find our way from there."
Shepard's eyes darted around her familiar quarters. "Well you're welcome to sleep in my quarters tonight; I daresay I find them too haunted to want to spend too much time in them."
Miranda graciously accepted her offer, and stood to prepare for some much needed rest, but Shepard stopped her. "One quick question before we go to bed."
"Of course."
"After we took down the Collector base, you pondered over words left unsaid. Who were they for, and what were they?"
A slow smile crept across her symmetrical features. "They were for Jack and Jacob. I had two words for Jack, and they were 'I'm sorry'. She didn't deserve my antagonizing and prejudice. And for Jacob… Well, those exact words will remain a secret, but suffice it to say they're also along the lines of an apology."
"For what?"
"Never giving him a second chance."
Sensing that the conversation was over, Shepard stepped onto the elevator to make her way to the crew quarters. Just before the doors closed Shepard caught Miranda glancing at a locket around her neck.
The next morning when Shepard woke, Joker informed her that Miranda and Orianna had left and they would be arriving at Cronos Station within the next five hours. She went up to her quarters to shower and saw that Miranda had left everything untouched except for one small token.
A yellow rose on her bed.