Chapter 6

He was more than aware of the fact Crovell was watching him; he could feel the boy's eyes burning holes into the back of his skull, but he wasn't looking to turn round and face him yet. The whole situation which had unfolded a week ago had left him feeling uncertain and uncomfortable. As Crovell's Daiosen his feelings towards his charge had always been overwhelmingly strong and unshakably loyal. Even now when the acts in question went so far against his own sense of morality, Duke couldn't help but feel the need to side with Crovell over it. The complete division between his feelings of disgust and his feelings of loyalty were literally tearing him apart.

Sighing heavily, he lifted his head and gazed at an invisible spot ahead of him. Crovell's eyes were still burning a hole in his back and he knew he couldn't ignore him any longer.

'Why am I so sure I'm just going to forgive you and accept you?'

Crovell made a slight noise which sounded like a relieved laugh and slowly Duke turned round to face him.

'You didn't answer my question.'

'I don't need to, do I?' Crovell took half a step towards him. 'You're my Daiosen; you're the only person who's ever really understood me.'

'What about Jo?'

'I don't know,' he shrugged, 'I want her to understand me, but I don't think she wants to let herself. I'm supposed to see her soon, for one of our chaperoned meetings,' for a moment he paused and his gaze locked with Duke's. 'Did you mean what you just said? Do you accept us?'

'I'm not sure yet, not entirely, but…'

'You know…' Crovell took a deep breath and hesitated for a moment. 'You know I really don't care either way if anyone ever accepts us, but Jo… Jo needs for someone… someone to tell her its okay because I'm not enough for her.'

'I… I'm sure that's not true,' he twisted uncomfortably.

'Oh, trust me, it is.'

'Has she told you that?'

He nodded mutely and kept his gaze turned away. Duke could feel his unshakable devotion towards Crovell rise within him. In that single moment he knew what he had to do and he knew the others weren't going to be happy about it. But since the moment he was born Crovell had had a strange kind of power over him and it wasn't something easily ignored.

'I want to be there with you when you meet with Jo today,' Duke sucked in a sharp breath as he prepared himself for what he was about to say, 'I want to tell her that you have my acceptance.'

Ahna had no idea why her eldest daughter had called them both there, just that the fierce look in her eyes told of something seriously grave. Instantly Ahna shifted uncomfortably and glanced towards Catilin for support. Catilin's eyes were fixed on Hazelnut and something in them suggested she knew exactly why they'd been summoned.

'Shouldn't Drake be here when you want to decide his future for him?' Catilin pouted.

'I need your approval first,' Hazelnut's voice was calm and confident, 'because if I managed to convince you, then you can convince him.'

'What is this all about?' Ahna felt strangely annoyed that she was the only one out of the loop.

'I want to be made Drake's official mate,' Hazelnut's voice remained calm and controlled. 'He can't have heirs with Taylor and I'm sure once he works that out for himself…'

'He's not the first gay Ashmar, Hazel,' Catilin cut her off, 'and yet my line has always managed to survive. I don't see the problem here.'

'Don't you? Because I've been checking you know,' her eyes burnt with a strange kind of passion, 'and all these gay Ashmars your line has had have always had a female official mate to help them continue the line.'

'Not always,' Catilin balled her hands into fists, 'there have been some which found other ways, because there are other ways to be found. You can't deny my son his sexuality and his Calcanto just because you're jealous. Just like you can't go round eavesing in on everyone else's conversations. You're a bad, selfish, manipulative little girl and even if you were the only way for my son to have heirs I still wouldn't let you.'

'Isn't that a little harsh Cat?' Ahna instinctively felt defensive.

'I'm sorry Ahna,' she sighed, 'I mean to hurt you; you know how much I love and respect you. But Hazelnut…'

'Is just a kid Catilin.'

'I know, but…'

'Drake needs to produce heirs for your line,' Hazelnut interrupted. 'It's not exactly going to be easy for him to do that with Taylor; have you even bothered to think about that?'

'There are ways and I know all of them. But that's still years and years away; I'm not ready to be a grandmother yet. And when I am you're the last person I'll come to about it.'

'Because you can't stand the thought of admitting I was right?'

'That's not it.'

'Then what is?'

'You don't know everything Hazelnut,' Catilin shot her a warning look, 'none of you kids really know anything. In fact no one does; our Gods of Love are gay, why doesn't anyone ever remember that.'

'Peri and Seteau never had any children,' Hazelnut shook her head.

'Naivety, thy name is…'

'Catilin,' Ahna cut her off, 'there's no need for this; Hazel just thinks she's being useful.'

'Well she's not. And you should remind your daughter it's not her place to say things like this to the leader of her people.'

'I will,' getting up, Ahna took hold of her daughter's arm.

'I'm not leaving,' Hazelnut pulled away from her, 'not until I make you all see sense. Drake must have me as his mate, I'm the only one who can give him heirs.'

'All you're capable of right now Hazelnut, is giving me a headache,' Catilin pulled a face. 'I don't want you to talk about this anymore.'

'As you wish,' her voice turned sour, 'your majesty.'

'You do love Taylor, don't you?' Catilin entered his room without knocking and caught him reading his recently received letter.

Instantly his cheeks turned a bright shade of red and he tried to hide his face behind the sheet of paper he was holding.

'It's okay you know,' she took a seat on the edge of his bed, 'you don't have to be afraid of me. I'm happy there's someone out there you can let get close to you,' she hesitantly reached a hand towards her son, then let it drop away. 'I can't even remember what it's like to hold you anymore.'

'I can't…' nervously he bit his lower lip, 'Tay is the only one who can.'

'Why is that? Is it just because you love him or…?'

'I don't know,' Drake shook his head, 'he just seemed to understand me in a way no one else could. You do believe that I love him, right?'

'I'm a Calicaccu,' she puffed her chest out, 'I know you love him and that he loves you and that you're both missing each other an equal amount right now. When did that arrive,' she pointed towards the letter.

'About ten minutes ago. I guess SK was just being slow today.'

'I guess so.'

For a moment she just sat there, silently watching her son. A part of her wished beyond anything he could go back to being the innocent little boy he had been before… She missed him.

'Mum when you said I didn't have to worry about heirs, what did you mean?' Drake broke the silence which had formed.

'Didn't I explain that to you already?' Catilin frowned for a moment.

'No, you didn't. It was one of the first things you said to me after you found out about Tay, but you've never bothered to explain it.'

'Then that's because I'm not ready to yet,' a secretive smile spread across her face, 'but I will be soon. Very soon.'