A/N: Okay so I suck big time. I wrote this story back in 2008. It was actually the second fan fiction story that I had ever wrote and it's my baby. I started to post it on this site in 2009 but I ran into a problem with uploading it and stopped. But I'm back and hopefully I can finish it. I put all the chapters I have on this story together in sort of a master post but it was crazy long so I'm going to post it in parts. Thanks to everyone who reads, comments, subscribes to this story and my others. It's very much appreciated and it's because of you guys that I continue to write. Thanks. Please review.
This is some of what was already posted plus some…
Part 1
Spencer's POV
"I heard she's a mute and…"
That's my friend Aiden, his talking about the teenage girl of the family of four that moved in the house next door to me last week. Since I haven't the pleasure of introducing myself do to the black bracelet around my ankle, Aiden's been telling me the latest about the happenings around town. I've been on house a rest for three weeks now for trespassing and vandalizing an abandon house; I can't wait to get off next week. But anyways I've been sitting on my front porch watching them come in leave since they moved in.
"Hello! Are you listening to me?" I look over at Aiden and I can tell he knows I haven't heard a word he said.
"No. So what's her name?" He smiles and shakes his head at me, then nods in her direction. She's getting in the back seat of a SUV.
"Ashley Davies. She's Seventeen and that's all I know, oh and that she's a mute."
"You don't know that. You heard that." I say but I think he's right I haven't heard or seen her lips move since they moved in. Aiden gets up in starts walking down the front steps.
"Whatever, I got to go but I'll stop by tomorrow." Is the last thing he yells over his shoulder before getting in his car and driving away?
I sit on the porch a little while longer before my sister comes to the door and tells me to do my dishes. I go in do the dishes then take a nap all with Ashley on my mind.
Ashley's POV
It's 11 at night and I'm seating on the back porch thinking when I hear footsteps. I look over into the neighbor's yard and see a slender figure making its way through their backyard, before stopping and looking my way. It's the girl from the porch. She's always on the porch just watching cars go by or sometimes I see her watching me and every now and then someone is keeping her company. But I haven't seen her these last couple of days.
"Hey." I'm brought out of my thoughts by her voice. I look up and we lock eyes.
I don't say anything or move as she starts to make her way down the steps of her house and over the fence that separates her house from mine. She doesn't wait for me to offer her a seat; she just flops down next to me on the porch. She looks over at me in smile; I just look down at my hands that are occupying my lap.
"So… I haven't had I chance to introduce myself, I'm Spencer. Your Ashley right?" I just nod my head yes and she continues. "Well Ashley it's nice to meet you." I don't say anything. I think she knows by now that I'm not going to so she doesn't say anything else, and we just sit there swaying our feet side to side off the porch enjoying the silence.
We've been sitting for about five minutes when my back door opens in my brother walks out. He looks from Spencer to me then back to Spencer. He offers her his hand to shake which she takes. "Hi I'm Shane."
"Spencer." She says letting go of his hand.
"I know she hasn't told you so… this freak here is my sister Ashley." He says patting my head like a dog.
I hate him.
Spencer looks at me while talking to him. "I know who she is, and you shouldn't call your sister a freak."
At that, I look up at her and she smile at me. Shane shakes his head no. "Why? I just call em how I see em. And she," He points at me. He points at me. "Sister or not… is a freak, she hasn't said a word in a year, so don't waste your time."He sighs. "Hell you wouldn't even know her name unless someone told you, cause she sure the hell isn't."
Spencer scoots off the porch and looks up to Shane who is leaning back against the house. "That doesn't make her a freak, maybe she just doesn't won't to talk to you."
I haven't said a word to her and she's defending me. I like her already.
"Whatever." Is his only reply before he retreats back into the house, I look at Spencer and she smiles at me.
"Well Ashley, thanks for the chat," That causes me to smile for the first time at her. "But I have to be going, so I'll see you." Then she climbs back over the fence into her yard in enters her house.
I get up and go into the house to get ready for bed with Spencer on my mind and no doubt she'll be invading my dreams tonight.
#$%^^^^%
Spencer's POV
"Come on Spence." Jessica said as she flopped down next to me on my bed.
"No thanks, my grandma will kill me if I get drunk again, at least this soon. I mean, I just got off of house arrest I need to lay low for awhile." Jessica is another one of my few friends, despite her trying to get me to go clubbing for the past hour, she's a good friend.
"Are you kidding me, she won't even find out. Mia said you can crash at her house afterwards," She through her hands up to show she's aggravated as I shook my head no. "Please?" She says giving me puppy dog eyes.
I was but to tell her no for the thousands time when my best friend Mia and Aiden came crashing through the door.
"Come on, we're leaving" Aiden said turning back around to head out the door.
Knowing that I'm not going passed the front porch, I follow behind them anyway. We got outside and I stop in the front door to my house and lean up against the frame. All three of them are walking off the porch when Jessica notices that I had stopped and remembers that I said I'm not going. She tells Mia and Aiden to stop for a second. She looks at me while she talk's. "Spencer refuses to come." Aiden and Mia quickly turn their heads my way.
"Why?" I was about to answer Aiden's question when he cuts me off. "Never mind we all know you're going to meet Ashley."
He's right. It's been a week since the first night I went over Ashley's and I've been going over sitting with her every night since then. I tell her about my day and just ramble on about anything and everything that comes to mind. I just feel comfortable around her, I even told her things I never told Mia and she's been my best friend since first grade. And of course Ashley just sits and listens and every now and then I get her to smile but not one word leaves her mouth. When my friends asked me why I haven't been hanging out with them at night, I told them about my nights with Ashley. They didn't get mad and think I was replacing them with her because we hang out all day but they did tease me about the crush I have on her. Yes, I said it. I'm crushing on someone who I might not ever hear say my name. They didn't talk about her either when I told them Aiden's story about her being a mute was true. They're good friends and people like tha…
I was snapped out of thoughts by Mia's voice. "Why don't you invite her to come with us?"
I could but we all know that's not going to happen.
"You know she won't come." I say stepping out on to the front porch taking a seat on my favorite chair.
"Just ask tonight, and come out with us tomorrow, okay?" I just nod my head and they say good bye and head to Aiden's car.
I stay sitting down trying to collect my thought before I go over to Ashley's
Ashley's POV
We're sitting on my back porch playing checker's and Spencer's being scarily quiet. I mean, every night since she's been coming over she'd have something to talk about or should I say tell because I never talk back. I think she's comfortable telling me things because she knows I won't tell anyone else or say something judgmental or nothing at all and I don't mind just listening. But the point is she's been here for an hour and hasn't said more than two words.
"You know." Oh and she speaks. "My friends went to a club tonight, and they wanted me to come."
I look up at her and we lock eyes.
"But I told them, I'd rather hang out with you then get drunk." After the words leave her mouth I look away and sit so were my feet are swinging off the porch.
As much as I like the thought of knowing she wants to be around me, I still don't want her friends to be mad at her because she's ditching them for me.
"Hey," She says moving to sit next to me. When she gets comfortable she reaches over and moves a piece of hair from out of my face and moves her hand down to my chin turning my face to look at her. "You okay?" She says removing her soft fingers from my chin to her lap.
She says removing her soft fingers from my chin to her lap. I nod my head yes.
She look's away and I just stare at the side of her face. A minute goes by before she looks back at me and smiles. "We're going out tomorrow and everyone would like it if you came. I…I'd like it if you come, and we won't go to a club or anything. We could just hang out around Mia's house or something. Her moms never home and…." She looks over at me. "I'm rambling?" I shake my head yes smiling at her. "Your smiling so does that mean yall go?"
"She's not going anywhere with you dyke!" I almost jump off the porch hearing Shane's voice.
Wait. What did he just call her? I should kick his ass.
"What did you call me?" Spencer says getting off the porch and into Shane's face.
"You heard me. Stop hitting on my sister," He shoves Spencer causing her to fall down. "My sister might be a freak but she's not gay."
If he only now how wrong he was I thought as I rushed to Spencer side. She quickly got up and back in his face.
"I am going to kick your sorry as all over this yard." She says. Her voice filled with anger.
"Go ahead so they can put you back in jail. I'm sure your family won't miss you since they already disowned you." I see Spencer ball up her fist ready to swing but I grab her, pulling her back. She looks at me with tears in her eyes then takes off out our back fence and into the alley, disappearing into the night.
I look back at Shane he has a big smile on his face which quickly smack off. I start to turn around to go in the house but not before I smack him again. Then I finally go in the house hoping that Spencer will come back over.
Spencer's POV
I've been laying here in my bed all day, contemplating if I should go over to Ashley's tonight. After the altercation that revealed a lot about me and my life, I called Aiden and he picked me up. We went back to the club they had been at while I was at Ashley's.
I tried to get drunk but couldn't get passed my first drink because all I could think about was Ashley and wonder what she thinks about me now. Will she still want me to come over or will she won't to forget that I ever existed? After we left the club we crashed at Mia's house, she dropped me off around seven this morning before she headed to work. (I know, how does she party all night then get up the next day for work? it's beyond me.) As soon as I walked in the house my grandma was there to read me the law. When she was done, I went to my room and been here all day.
I look over at the clock and its 9pm. Ashley should be out on her back porch now. I get out of bed and head down stairs, telling myself if she's out there I'll go over. If not… will let's hope she is. I pushed the back door open and step out onto the porch. I close my eyes as I turn to look to see if she's sitting on the porch. I do a little prayer in my head and open my eyes. There she is, feet swinging off the porch, she's staring at me and before I know it, I'm making my way over to her.
Ashley's POV
Spencer's been sitting next to me for the last ten minutes. Every now and then she'll open her mouth to say something but closes it before any words can escape. I know she's probably wondering how I feel about everything my brother told me about her, and I want to tell her. I want to tell her that I'm gay too and I have this big crush on her and that it's okay if she doesn't want to talk about her family right now. But I just can't bring myself to speak, even if the girl sitting next to me, makes want to. I'm just glad she came back.
"I'm sorry." I look at her with confusion written all across my face. And she notice. "For…for not telling you that I'm gay an…" I stop her by putting my hand over hers, she has no reason to apologize, it's not like I've told her a lot about me.
"I take that as I sign that we're still friends." She says referring to my hand on hers. I just smile and nod my head without removing my hand. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how you would react and I like talking to you." To show her my reaction I move closer to her so were our shoulders are touching and I intertwine our fingers together and place them in my lap. I look up after getting comfortable and she has the biggest smile on her face I've ever seen.
After awhile she starts to tell me about what she did and where she went when she left last night. And like always I just sit and listen but this time with her hand in mine.
#^%*&^*^*^&%$^&%$
Spencer's POV
Things with me and Ashley have been great. We've been holding hands and I even started giving her goodnight kisses on the cheek. We haven't talked about what all that means or doesn't mean and I'm ok with that. Its two months and I still have yet to hear here speak. But she always finds other ways to show me how she feels. Anyways I can't wait until tonight. We haven't seen each other in two days. She had to go out of town with her parents for the weekend; at least that's what I overheard Shane saying to one of his dumb friends. And while I've been having fun hang out with my friends, I've missed Ashley like crazy.
It's like one something in the afternoon and Aiden just dropped me off at home. Last night I crashed at Mia's after we went out. I just opened the front door and my grandma and my stupid brother Glen is sitting in the living room watching something on TV. My grandma spots me trying to go up the stairs and calls me into the living room.
"You know Spencer, It's not polite to come in and not speak." She Says turning off the TV. Seeing as how I didn't get away with sneaking pass, I walk over in take a seat on the couch with Glen.
"It looked like you guys were enjoying the program on TV. I didn't want to interrupt." I say lying. Because truth be told, I could have gone the whole day without speaking to either of them.
"Well anyways, there's something you need to know." Glen say's and I turn my attention away from my grandma to his smiling face.
"Oh yeah, what might that be?"
"Dad's up stair's sleep." My jaw all most hit the floor with that bit of information. I haven't seen my dad in two years, and I don't mind if it stays that way. He is one of the most selfish people I've ever met in my life. Last time we saw him he was packing his stuff to leave my brother, sister and me, three years after my mom left us to be with some guy she was cheating on my dad with. She said she would come back to get us once she got herself together but she never did. After she left my dad started getting abusive, he would hit us for any old stupid reason. One time he broke my arm. So I was more than happy when he packed his things and said he couldn't do this anymore, be a parent that is, be a dad. So for the last two years we've been staying with my grandma. And I like it this way. Not having to go through the day worrying about someone tossing me half way across the room. I can't let him come back into our lives.
"Spence."Glen's voice breaks me from my thoughts.
"Why is he here?" They both just look at me like they don't know who I'm talking about. "Dad. Why is dad here? What does he want?" My voice starts to crack, sounding little and weak.
"He says he misses us and he wants to be with us."
"Well, I don't want to be with him. Don't you remember what he put us through?" I say getting up to go to my room. Glen stands up and grabs my arm turning me around.
"That was two years ago. He said he was sorry and he's better." I can't believe he actually thinks that's true.
"And you believe him? I don't care how sorry he is. I don't want anything to do with him!" I say my voice starting to rise with my anger. But I'm trying to keep it down because I don't want the man who's causing it to wake up before I can get some stuff from my room and leave.
"He's our father Spencer."
"Yeah Glen, he's our father that abused us than left us. Some father." I say yanking my arm away from Glen.
"Spencer and Glen stop!" My grandma is up standing between us now. "Spencer your dad will be staying here no matter if you like it or not. Do you understand me?" I don't respond. I'm too angry to even speak. I just push pass them and storm out the door.
There's only one person I want to see and that's Ashley.
Ashley's POV
I'm in the kitchen putting up some dishes when I hear I knock at the door. Knowing it's not for me I continue putting up the dishes. I hear my mom go to answer it and the next thing I know she's yelling for me to come to the living room. I put the plate I had in my hand in the cabinet and go see what she wants. I turn the corner and stop in my tracks when I see Spencer standing in my living room talking to my parents. I can tell she's been crying, her eyes are all puffy and red. My mom looks over and see's me leaning up against the wall where you first walk into the living room. Spencer looks from my mom to me and we lock eyes.
"Ashley honey, Spencer came over to see you. Why don't you guys go up to your room and talk or something?" I nod my head and walk over to Spencer and grab her hand and lead her to my bedroom.
When we get in my room I let go of Spencer's hand, shut the door and lean my back against it. Spencer's pacing back and forth across the room.
"My dad's back. He's at my house right now." She stops and puts her head in her hands. "Shit, Shit, Shit." She whisper as I grab her hand and lead her to my bad. I push her down on the bed and sit next to her and pull her into a hug, rubbing her back to calm her.
We stay like that for a couple of minute then she pulls out of the embrace to whip her tears away but I beat her to it. We both jump when we hear a knock on the door. My mom pops her head in.
"Spencer I'm sure Ashley would like it if you stay the night." Spencer looks at me for permission and I smile and nod my head yes.
"Thanks Mrs. Davies. That would be nice."
"Okay sweetie, make sure you call your parents and make sure it's okay with them." Spencer tells her she will and she leaves.
For the rest of the day we just sat in my room. She told me about her parents leaving and her dad being abusive. I wanted to go over there in kill that man. She cried a little more and I comforted her until she fell asleep in my arms.
Spencer's POV
I wake up with an arm secured tightly around my waist. I look over to my right to see a peacefully sleeping Ashley. Even thought I have to pee I don't try to release myself from her. I don't want to wake her, hell who I'm kidding, I like the feeling of her body pressed up against mine. Anyway with my decision to stay in bed, I let my eyes observer the room, seeing as last night I was too emotional unstable to take in my surroundings. The first thing I notice is the large amount of pictures she has separated out in different area's in her room. In the pictures I can make out she's smiling in them. I've seen her smile before but not like she is in the pictures. She looks really happy and full of life. I also notice that she doesn't have that many pictures with her family in them. At least not the one's I can see from my position on the bed. Most are filled with either herself with another person or pictures of other people that look to be our age. I'm assuming they're her friends. I wonder why she doesn't have family pictures everywhere and who exactly the people in the pictures are.
I start to feel her stir next me. She doesn't open her eyes but rolls over on her back, removing her arm from around me in the process. Being free to move now, I turn so were I'm facing her and prop myself up on my elbow and let my head rest in my hand. She still hasn't opened her eyes, so I reach over and move a piece of hair out of her face, leaving my thumb to run up and down her cheek. Her eyes slowly open up and she looks right at me.
"Hey." I say smiling. She just smiles back. "As much as I want to continue this little conversation we got going… I really have to pee." She rolls her eyes at me saying "hey" in her smiling a conversation. "Think you can show me where the bathroom is located?" She just points to something behind me. I look behind me in see a door I hadn't notice before. I look back at her and say thanks before getting out the bed to head into what I'm guessing is the bathroom.
Ashley POV
I can't believe I actually was still holding her when I woke up or the fact that she was awake but didn't move. Now she's in the bathroom probably trying to make herself look decent but there's no need she's even more beautiful first thing in the morning. I'm the one out here trying to fix the mess on my head that can only be called bed hair. Spencer comes out of the bathroom with her blond hair pulled into a lose ponytail. She spots me sitting on the bed and starts to say something when we hear a knock on the door followed by my mom sticking her head in "Good morning ladies! Come get some breakfast."
"Thanks Mrs. Davies, but I told my grandma I'd be home first thing." She say's lying to my mom, because she never called her house after my mom told her to. I just don't know why she's lying about having to leave.
"It's only 8am Spencer. You can't eat first sweetie?"
"Thanks, but I have to be somewhere in about an hour. I'll grab something to eat while I'm out." She says while putting on her shoes. "Maybe next time?" My mom gives her a nod then she says goodbye in shuts the door. I look at Spencer and she knows what I'm thinking. She's been getting good at reading me over the last month. She goes and sets on my bed while I lean up against the wall next to my bedroom door.
"No, my grandma doesn't want me at home." She says answer my unspoken question about why she told my mom her grandma wanted her home. "I just want to grab some stuff from my room before anyone gets up. I don't feel like seeing my dad or getting to another argument with anyone." She gets up from the bed and walk toward me stopping right in front of me. "I'm going to go stay with Mia for awhile but I'll still come over every night." She says smiling at me. I return the smile. "Okay I should be going." She leans into give me a kiss on the cheek but before her lips can meet my cheek I turn my head and interrupt by kissing her.
At first she doesn't kiss back but after the moment of shock is gone she kisses back. The kiss is nice and slow like we both don't want it to end. After a minute we both start to really get into it. My hand goes around her waist to bring her more into me if that's possible. She starts to run her tongue along my bottom lip asking to enter my mouth. I start to part my lips but the sound of a door slamming causes us to jump apart.
When my breathing returns to normal I look up to see Spencer grinning like crazy and I'm sure I'm blushing. We just look at each other for a minute then Spencer walks back over to me from the bed she flew on when we parted.
"I really have to go." She gives me a peck on the lips. "But I'll see you tonight?" I nod my head and she gives me a kiss on the cheek before leaving.
It's going to be hard killing time waiting for tonight!
Spencer's POV
After I left Ashley's house, I went home. Everyone was still a sleep so I grabbed some clothes and left for Mia's without leaving a note as to where I was going. I should have at least called my sister Paige and told her where I was, but I didn't. Now we're sitting in Mia's living room arguing because I refuse to go home.
"Spence, you have to go home. You're still on probation for the last stunt you pulled. You're lucky you got away with getting drunk a few weeks ago, but you can't run away. Grandma is going to call the cops if you're not home by 7pm." Paige says flopping down next to me on the couch. I let out a long sigh before speaking.
"Do you know dads back?"
Paige just turned 20 two months ago. She moved out of my grandma's house like five months ago, she lives with a couple of her friends not too far from our grandma's house. She still comes over to check on me and Glen. She's been like our mom since our parents left.
"No. When did this happen?" She looks over at me with concern.
"I don't know. When I came home yesterday Glen told me he was up stairs sleeping and that he wants to be a part of our lives again. I got mad, we argued, than I left."
"Where did you go? I called here after grandma called me and Mia said she hadn't seen you."
"I spent the night over Ashley's." I tell her with a big smile on my face. Paige knows all about me in Ashley.
"So, are you guys together."
"No. I mean we kissed this morning but that's it. I'm going to talk to her about it when I go back tonight." I say still smiling while I grab the remote to the TV.
"So you're going home?"
"No. I'm going over to Ashley's house." She snatches the remote from me and put it back down on the table where I got it from.
"No. You're going home and then you can go over to Ashley's after."
"Don't tell me you believe dads bullshit too. I'm not staying in that house with that man. Far as I'm concern I don't have a father."
"Of course I don't but you have to go home. I don't want you getting into trouble with the cops again. Plus if you don't go home and you get in trouble you won't get to see Ashley for awhile." She moves over and hugs me while she continues talking. "I promise I'll come over as much as I can and you can always call me, you know that Spence." I hug her back tightly.
"I know." I say breaking the hug.
"Okay, do you want to me to drop you off now or are you going to stay here for awhile?" She says as she gets up off the couch, grabbing her purse and keys.
"I'm staying here. I told Aiden I'd hang out with him today. I'll get him to drop me off at like 6pm."
"Okay, call me before you go to bed. I love you." She says giving me another hug before leaving.
After Paige left I decided to take a nap until Aiden comes to pick me up.
Ashley's POV
I've been sitting on my back porch for about an hour waiting on Spencer. I'm starting to get worried because she's usually here by now. I start to get up to go in the house when I hear someone call my name. I look up in there she is with some boy with her walking into my backyard. She walks up to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek before sitting down beside me.
"Hey, sorry I'm late. I got into another argument with my grandma. " She tells me. I'm listening but my eyes are on the boy she came with. I seen him sitting with her on her porch before but I don't know his name or anything.
"Oh yeah, this is my friend Aiden," She say pointing to the boy standing in front of us. I smile at him and he says hi. Then Spencer turns and smiles at me. "Aiden this my gir… um Ashley." She tried to cover it up but I know she was about to call me her girlfriend, and I wish she would have.
"Well I would love to stay and get to know you Ashley but I have to go get ready for work." Aiden says to me with a smile on his face I nod my head at him to show I understand, than he looks over to Spencer. "Call me tomorrow, I'll pick you up at like 1pm so be ready." She gets off the porch and stands next to Aiden.
"I'm going to walk him to his car. I'll be right back, k." I nod my head and they start walking back the way they came.
After a couple of minutes Spencer comes back with a bag on her shoulder. She puts the bag down and sits back down next to me.
"I'm living at home again. When I decided to stay with Mia I had forgot I was on probation. If I get into any trouble I'll have to spend some time in juvie. And I don't think I can spend that much time away from you." She says and I blush. I look over at her for the first time since she started talking and she's staring at me with a serious look on her face. "You're so beautiful." She whispers leaning in. I don't waste any more time and close the gap between us.
We've been kissing for a while when Spencer pulls back smiling at me. She gives me a light peck on the lips then rests her forehead on mine.
"Ashley, will you be my girlfriend?" She asks a little shyly. I start to shake my head yes like crazy. She starts to laugh at me. "Okay I get it." I give her a playful slap on the arm before we start another make out session.
We stayed on the porch until about one in the morning just holding each other and kissing here in there, before she had to go home. I went to bed with one of the biggest smiles on my face knowing that Spencer was defiantly going to invading my dreams tonight.
#^&%*^(
Spencer POV
Things between me and Ashley have been great. It's been two weeks since she became my girlfriend, two amazing weeks. We've been spending a lot of time at her house. Her mom is really nice. Always making us snacks and asking if we got everything we need. It's nice to have some place to go and have people care about how your day went. Her dad is a lawyer so he's always at his firm. It's late when he gets home so I haven't met him yet. She still hasn't said a word to me. And it's still all I can think about. Like how her voice would sound and why she refuses to speak. Everything I have learned about her has been through her mom. Like her favorite candy is air heads and her favorite flowers are lilies, and she was a cheerleader back in Detroit before they moved, and many more little facts about my silent girlfriend. Now I'm just waiting for her to tell me the big facts or anything at all.
Right now we're in her bedroom. I'm walking around her room looking at the pictures while she's lying on her bed watching me. I just picked up a picture off her desk. She's in the picture with five other people. Three boys and two girls, one of the girls have her hands wrapped around Ashley's waist and their staring in each other eyes.
"Nice picture. Are they your old friend's?" I ask as making my way over to lay on the bed with her. When we're both laying facing each other she smiles and nods her head at me while taking the picture out of my hands. I point at the picture of the girl she staring at in the picture before asking, "Was that your girlfriend?" She looks at me for a minute before nodding her head yes. I had told her about my ex's and I had asked her if she had any, so the question wasn't out of nowhere. I mean, I told you what they looked like in the picture. There is no way they were not together.
I was about to ask her more about the people in the picture when her mom knocked on the door than popped her head in.
"Sorry girls but Spencer, Glen came over and said your Grandma wants you to come home." I look from Ashley to her mom.
"Thanks Mrs. Davies, I'll be heading out in a minute." She just says okay see you later sweetie before she shuts that door leaving me alone with Ashley again. I look to Ashley and give her a kiss on the forehead before getting up to put on my shoes. After I'm all ready to go, I walked over to the bedroom door, Ashley follows. I lean in and give her a quick kiss.
"I'll see you tonight." Was all I say before leaving to see what my Grandma wants. Me and Ashley will see each other later on it is only four in the afternoon.
Ashley's POV
Spencer and I have been hugged up on the back porch for an hour now. No, we are not afraid of my brother or my mom seeing us. They are both gone. My family doesn't know I'm gay and Spencer knows that, she figured out they didn't know when my mom started telling her about my life in Detroit and boys that I use to talk to. I never went with any of them but I brought them home every now and then so my parents wouldn't ask any questions. Anyway Spencer told me she understands and will not out me until I'm ready. So when my family is around we're just best friends.
"I would love to hear your voice." She says break me out of my thoughts. She's been saying things like this a lot lately, and I can't blame her. I would want to know what my girlfriends voice sound like too.
I want to talk to her and tell her my deepest secrets but for some reason I can't. I hope my silence doesn't run her off. I think I'm falling for this girl, and I don't want to lose her.
I pull away from her so we're sitting next to each other with our feet hanging off the porch. I look over at her and smile while giving her a kiss on the cheek so she knows I'm not mad or anything. That's how we communicate, through my body language.
That's how we communicate, through my body language.
"I like you Ashley, and I'm not going to stop even if you never say a word to me." She says looking me in the eyes. I feel like I'm about to cry. She gives me a peck on the lips before continuing, "I want you to know, that I'm going to be here when you're ready to tell me what's keeping you from speaking or just anything at all."
I no longer feel like I'm about to cry. I am crying, and Spencer's here to hold me.
^&%*^%&*^(
Spencer's POV
"I don't know, I wa…"
I was on the phone with Mia, when the phone line went dead. I looked over to see Glen with the phone cord in one of his hands. I get off my bed and push him.
"What the hell!" Glen just looks at me.
"I need to use the phone. You weren't talking about anything."
"Yeah I was." I say taking the cord from him and plugging it back into the wall.
"Uh, no you weren't. Talking about your dumbass girlfriend doe…" He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence before my hand met his face. Once he gained his footing back we start yelling at each other. I told him to never talk about Ashley ever again and some other stuff and he just yelled back.
"Hey! Stop this damn yelling, now!" We both stop yelling at the sound of our dad's voice. We all stand still for a minute before I start to put on my hoodie and walk pass him to leave. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" He says grabbing my arm and yanking me back. I try pulling my arm back but he just tightens his grip.
"Mia is on her way to get me." He lets go of my hand. I try again to get by but he won't let me.
"Don't yell in my house again." He says looking from me to Glen. I know I should just be quiet but I can't.
"This is not your house." I say walking pass him. Then I feel a push from behind and I go face first onto the hallway floor. I'm not down long before Glen tries to help me up. My nose is hurting bad and when I bring my hand up to touch it blood starts to cover it. My back is hurting like hell too. I look back at my hand that has blood on it from my nose than back up at my dad.
"Next time keep your mouth shut." He says not showing even a hint of emotion for what he did. I don't give him a second look before I'm on my feet and making my way outside. Glens yelling for me to stop so he can clean me up but I ignore him. When I get outside I see Mia getting out of the car, I yell for her to get back in the car while I run to the passage side door. She takes one look at me before starting the car and speeding off down the street.
Ashley's POV
Last night Spencer didn't come over. No matter if we spent the whole day together. We always sit on my back porch after 8pm until one of us gets tired. We've had this routine since the first time we talked; it's only broken when I have to go out of town with my family. Other than that we never missed a night, until now. Spencer didn't come. I haven't seen her all day today. I sat on the front porch all day waiting to see if I would catch her coming or going from her house. But the whole day I didn't see or hear from Spencer.
Now its 10pm and I'm on my way into the house from the back porch. I waited for Spencer for two hours and she still didn't show up. I'm worried but I'm also mad. I don't know what's going on with her. Every time she gets into it with one of her family members she comes over and tells me about it. So if it's about her family she would have came and told me about it. But nope she just doesn't come by at all today.
I'm walking out of my bathroom that's connected with my bedroom, when someone knocks on my bedroom door. I open it and Spencer standing in front of me.
"Ashley, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night." I don't move to let her in my room. I just stare at her. "And for today. You know, for not coming by until now." She tries to grab my hand but I don't let her.
She knows how to read me. She knows I want an explanation for why she's just now coming to see me.
"Look, I really don't want to talk about it."
What the hell is IT? I want to yell at her for making me worried then just showing up with no scratches or anything that I could see stopping her from coming by for at least five minutes to tell me she's okay.
"Ashley?" She tries to grab my hand again.
I don't say anything I just turn around and go lay down in my bed. When I look up Spencer's still standing in my doorway. I move the cover so she can come in lay down. She starts to walk over slowly and looks at anything and everything but me because she knows I'm still mad. Remember I don't talk so she can read my eyes. Right now there showing how hurt I am.
When she reaches her side of the bed she takes off her shoes. I open the draw next to me and a grab wife beater and some boxers. When I look back she's staring at me.
"Please stop being mad at me. I promise tomorrow I'll explain what happened but right now I just want to hold you." I hand her the cloths I got for her to sleep in. When she taking it from me, she grabs my hand and kisses it. I can't help but smile. Even when I'm pissed at her, she finds away to make my stomach do back flips.
I take my hand back and look away from her, she counties to get dressed for bed. When look back at her, she has her back to me and is lifting her hoodie over her head. Her shirt comes up a little and I see a red mark on her back. I get out of bed and walk around to her side of the bed. She's facing me now; I grab her hips and try to turn her around. She puts her hands over mine.
"Don't." I don't listen and I turn her around ignoring her protest. When I lift her shirt, I see that most of her lower back is bruised. One of the marks looks fresh. I run my hand over it and she winces in pain. And all I want to know is what happened and who did this to her. I turn her around and see she's crying silent tears.
And I can no longer be silent.
"Spencer…"
Spencer's POV
I can't move. I don't even think I'm breathing right now. She spoke. Ashley. My Ashley spoke. And she said my name.
"Spencer? What happen to your back? Did your dad do that to you?"
She's doing it again, talking to me. But I'm still in shock, I can't speak.
"Spence… please say something. Please." She says in a whisper while wiping the tears, that had escaped from my eyes, that I had forgotten do to the beautiful sound of her voice.
"Your voice is beautiful." Finally I speak, telling her nothing but the truth. I guess she had forgotten momentarily how her speaking was so out of the ordinary because she turns away from me in sits on her bed. She puts her head in her hands and shakes it from left to right. Like she couldn't believe that she had let such a beautiful sound get passed her lips. I sound that I'm already addict to.
"Ashley?" I whisper as I kneel in front of her, taking her hands away from her face. "It's okay you can talk to me. You can't let me hear something so wonderful than take it back." She just stares at me and I give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I love your voice. Please don't close up on me again. Please." She looks at me for minute before putting her hand over my hand that is resting on the bed beside her leg.
"Tell me where you've been all day and what happened to your back." She says looking me right in the eyes.
"I don't want to talk about it right now. Let's talk about you." I'm not ready to talk about the altercation with my father or anything that has happened since last night.
"No. Now what happened to your back?" She asks me crossing her arms over her chest. Something she did all the time when she refused to talk, to show me that she was serious.
"Ashley, this is my first time talking to you… or at least with you saying something back. I don't want to spend it talking about my stupid dad or my back." I say standing back up pacing back in forth across her room.
"Well then at least tell me where you've been." I sigh before stopping in front of her.
"I said I don't want talk about it." I say get frustrated that she won't let it go.
"But I do."
"I don't!" I say as I starting to pace around the room again. When I look over to Ashley she's getting under the covers. I know she's mad at me. "Ashley?" She looks up from the blanket she was getting comfortable under and our eyes lock.
"If you're not at least ready to tell me," She points to herself. "Your girlfriend, who you ditched all day where you were, than I don't think I want to talk you." She waits a minute for me to say something, when I don't. She just pulls the covers up and closes her eyes waiting for sleep to take over.
Ashley's POV
I can't believe I actually spoke. It's been so long, I even forgot what my voice sounds like. When I saw Spencer's back I just needed to know what happened. And when I do open my mouth and actual ask her, she just brushes it off. Like she doesn't have scars on her back or hasn't spoken to me all day.
Now I'm lying here with my back to her pretending like I'm sleeping. We've been laying her for twenty minutes now, the first ten spent with Spencer trying to get me to speak to her or even look at her. Which, she failed miserably at both.
I feel her move to sit up in bed. After getting comfortable she starts run her fingers through my hair.
"Ash?" She sighs and pulls on my shoulder to try and turn me around but I refuse to look at her. "I know you're awake." She waits for me to confirm her accusation but again I don't give in. "Ashley, I'm sorry okay. I just don't want to talk about today or last night. I know you want to know and I will tell you, I'm just not ready to and I need you to understand that."
She's right I do need to be there for her and understand that she'll tell me when she's ready. Because we all know she has been understanding with me. So I would be a terrible girlfriend if I don't do the same.
I turn around and prop myself up on my elbow to look up at her. She looks down at me and smiles then switch from her sitting position to lying down propping herself on an elbow just like me. I lean over and give her I kiss.
"Can I hold you now?" She asks and I just push my body into her to let her know my answer. "Can I get a verbal answer, please?" I smile to myself before answering.
"Yeah, I would love nothing more than for you to hold me."
And with that said she wraps her arms around me. After awhile my eyes get heavy as I lay in her arms thinking about all the things WE are going to have to talk about tomorrow, and I how I don't think I'm ready to talk about all those things.
Spencer's POV
We're sitting across from each other on her bed, with our legs tucked under us. Its 7am, we've been like this for the past twenty minutes, just staring at each other. I've already told her about my dad hitting me, and then how I just stayed at Mia's that night in all day yesterday. She said she was glad I'm ok and she would worry less if I at least drop by to tell her I won't be making it to our late nights together. Now were just sitting here in silence. I'm thinking about what happen yesterday, with her talking in all, I know she's probably thinking the same. There are so many things I want to ask her but on the other hand I'm scared I'll make her close up again.
"I yo… I know you probably have a thousand questions…" I'm broke from my thoughts by the sweet sound of Ashley's voice. "And I want to answer them… at least I think I do. I jus..." I cut her off.
"Ashley, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I mean, don't get me wrong I do have questions because I really, really like you and I want to get to know you. But I also understand if there are things you don't want to talk about right now." I say trying to let her know that I'm not going anywhere. "So we can take this slow, day by day ok?" A smile dances it way across her face.
"Ok." She says getting on her knees and moving so were she's right in front of me. I get up on my knees too and she puts her arms around my neck. "You're great. Do you know that?" She doesn't give me time to reply before she crashes her lips into mine. It only last for a minute before she pulls back and embrace me in a hug laying her head on my shoulder. "And I really, really like you to."
"That's good to know." I say as I pull out of the hug. "I need to go home."
"What? Why?" She says getting out of bed with me.
"I can't stay gone for too long or my Grandma will call my PO and tell him I ran away. And you know what will happen if she does that." I say walking up to her giving her a peck on the lips. I try to turn around to go to the bathroom, but she puts her arms around my waist to hold me in place.
"I don't want you to go back over there. Why don't you tell your PO about your dad, show him your back?" I look in her eyes for a moment then look away. I don't want to go through all the stuff that comes with telling people your dads an abusive bastard. She brings a hand to my chin and turns my face to look at her.
"I can't."
"Why not? I'll go with you." I now she's really want me to do this because I never seen her leave this house without her parents and that was usually too go out of town, but I can't do what she asks. I remove her hands from around my waist and sit on the end of the bed. "Spence?" She sits down beside me.
"If I tell my PO, he'll want to investigate and move me to a foster home or something. That's just a lot to go through when I can just go home and avoid him. Look… I... schools starting back up in like two weeks that will keep me out of the house most if the time." I say as I put on my shoes.
"You shouldn't have to go through al…" I cut her off.
"I shouldn't but I am! I'm not leaving my home for him. I don't need anymore drama!" I say in kind of a harsh tone from the frustration of the situation. My eyes are cast to the ground, but I can feel her staring at me. After a minute of silence, she gets up and walks to her drew and grabs some cloths and walks to her bedroom door and opens it, all without saying a word to me. "Ashley… I" This time she cuts me off.
"I left you some cloths and a tooth brush on the dresser. I'm going to use the bathroom down the hall." She says before walking out and closing the door behind her.
Ashley's POV
I know Spencer didn't mean to sound so harsh, but I get mad just thinking about her going home and her dad hurting her again when she can do something about it. So I just left and let her use my bathroom while I use the one down the hall from my room.
I'm on my way back up the stairs, after I took a shower I went down stairs to help my mom make breakfast, and so Spencer could have some time to herself. When I get to my bedroom door, I take a deep breath before opening it. As soon as I step in, her lips are on mine. After a minute she pulls back.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you. Please don't be mad at me. I know that you're worried that I'll go home and get hurt an…" I cut her off.
"Yeah I am." I say looking right in her eyes.
"I know. And I can't promise I want but I will promise to at least talk to my PO about it." She must have thought about what I said while I was gone. I give her a little smile and she gives me a peck on the lips.
"Ok, now promise me one more thing?"
"What might that be?"
"That if anything happens or you just feel uncomfortable or anything, you'll come talk to me and maybe stay the night." She kisses me again but it's short.
"I Promise."
"Good." I walk over and sit on the end of my bed and she does the same. "There's one more thing." I say looking down at my hands that are resting in my lap.
"Yeah, and whatever might that be?" She says grabbing one of my hands. I look up at her and our eyes lock.
"Don't tell anyone that I'm talking. Not even your friends please." She's about to say something but I continue before she can. "I know your friends probably won't care but… just don't tell anyone, ok?"
"If you don't want me to I won't." I give her a kiss on the cheek and stand up offering her my hand.
"Great, know lets go get some breakfast before you leave." Spencer takes my hand and we head down to breakfast.
At breakfast I go back to being the listener and for the first time it feels weird. I guess it's because I've spoken so much today and no one knows except the only person who ever cared to be the listener sometimes not just the talker knows. It's like me and Spencer have our own little secret and I like that. But what happens when the secret gets boring and she wants another. Will I be willing to share?
%$^&*^^*
Spencer's POV
"So you're going to be home schooled?" I ask Ashley trying to get more comfortable on her bed.
For the last couple of days we've just been hangout in her room or on the back porch talking about whatever comes to mind. We still haven't got to the reason why she stopped talking, but she's told me other stuff like about her life back in Detroit. Like her and her brother Shane use to be close. In that was a shock to me because the way they yell at each other now you would think they've always hated each other. She never told me what happened to make them so bitter towards each other. I think it might have to do with why she stopped talking but I don't know. Guess I have to just wait until she tells me. I'm starting to wonder if she ever will.
Back to the topic at hand. We're sitting in her bed talking about how school starts in two days. I've told her about the school I attend and how much I wish I didn't have to.
"Yeah, but Shane will be going to the same school as you." She's says moving a little closer to me. Oh isn't that great, now I get stuck at school with the dumbass. I'm glad he's a grade behind me. It's most likely we won't have any classes together. I'm surprise he's been civil to me and hasn't told their parents about my family problems and sexuality.
"But I don't want him, I want you." I say leaning over and giving her a peck on the lips. She smiles at me and get off the bed.
"Come on lets go outside." She says walking to her bedroom door. I just sigh and get up and follower her out the room.
Ashley's POV
We've been sitting on the back porch for awhile now. Every now and then we will ask each other little questions about the other. I asked her if her dad has hit her or anything, she says he hasn't, and that was the end of that conversation but I think I'm going to bring it back up.
"So have you talked to your PO about your dad?" I ask pulling my feet up from off the end of the porch and my legs to my chest wrapping my arms around them.
"No." She replies.
"Why not? Didn't you see him the other day?" She looks at me then at her hands that are in her lap.
"Its jus… it's not easy to bring up. I know I promised to talk to him about it and I will. I just need some time to think about what I'm actually going to say."
"Yeah, okay." I say my voice making it clear that I see right through her stalling technique.
"Don't do that." She says it so low it's almost a whisper. I look up at her with confusion written all across my face. "I said I would, and I will. It's not like yo… never mind." She says standing up off the porch. I get up and stand in front of her.
"No finish your sentence." She just looks down at her hands. "Spencer…" I say stepping closer to her.
"It's getting late. I think I'm going to go home."
"Whatever." I say angry and starting to turn around and go in the house, but for some reason I turn back around. Spencer's just standing there staring at me. "Even though I'm mad at you right now, if you need to come over, you can." Yeah I might be mad at her, but I still don't want anything to happen to her.
"Whatever." She whispers running her hand through her hair. I can't believe she's acting like this.
"Why are you acting like this?" I say stepping closer to her.
"Like what Ashley?"
"Like I'm not allowed to care about what happens to you. I only told you to tell your PO about your dad because I care, and I don't want anything to happen to you."
"I know I just need some time." She says looking at anything and everything but me.
"No, you're stalling." I say stepping back. She quickly turns her face and looks at me.
"I'm stalling? Now that's funny." She says shaking her head.
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"It means you keep telling me to go talk to some stranger about something so personal like it's so easy. When you want even tell me why you refuse to talk to anyone at all." I can't believe she just said that. I don't even know what to say to that.
"Good night Spencer." I say with a tear running down my left cheek.
I turn around and run into the house. I run back into silence.
Spencer's POV
So Ashley and I didn't talk the whole weekend, and it's not because I didn't try. The next day after our argument I went over her house but no one was home. She didn't sit on the porch that night or last night.
Today was the first day back to school, it was boring as usual. I'm so glad that it's over with. Now Aiden is giving me a ride back home. As we pull up to the curb in front of my house I see Ashley coming down the front steps to her house with a box in her hand. I tell Aiden thanks for the ride and jump out of the car walking over to her. When she sees me she throws the box in the back seat of the SUV and turns around to go back inside.
"Ashley…" I say grabbing her elbow to stop her. When she turns around our eyes meet but she doesn't speak. "Can we talk?" She doesn't show any type of emotion. She just looks at me. "Please?" She looks back at her house than at me. "Please?"This time I ask in a whisper. She turns around and waves for me to follower her into her house.
When we get up to her room she closes the door and locks it. She leans back against the door and stares at me. I walk up to her to where I'm so close I can feel her breath on my lips.
"I'm sorry. God I'm sorry." I take my hands and cup her face with them. "Ash baby, I'm so sorry. I was just… I don't know what I was." I say looking her right in the eyes and then a tear slides down my face. She quickly wipes it away but still remains silence. "I talked to my PO." When the words leave my mouth she looks from my cheek her hand is resting on to me and our eyes lock again. "He um… said he would look into it. I'm meeting with him again tomorrow after school." I say my voice a little lower than usual. I wait a minute for her response and all I get is a smile and nod of approval. I remove my hands from her face and take a step back. "You know… it would be really nice if you would say something." I say going to sit on the end of her bed. She stays leaning up against her bedroom door just watching me.
"I'm sorry Spencer." I look up from my lap where my eyes had been set on before she spoke. "I'm sorry that it's so hard for me to talk to you even though I want to so bad." I get up and walk back over to her.
"It doesn't have to be," I start saying. "It doesn't have to be so hard. I… I won't hurt you Ashley. I want you to know everything about me. And I want to know everything about you." When I'm finished I lean in and give her a kiss on the ear leaving my mouth beside it whispering. "I want to know Ashley Davies."
She pulls back and looks me in the eyes with silent tears running down her face. She starts to say something but before she can get one word out of her mouth, we hear footsteps coming up the stairs.
She starts to say something but before she can get one word out of her mouth, we here footsteps coming up the stairs. We quickly break apart and she wipes her eyes.
"Ashley?" Shane says knocking on the door. "I hope you're decent." He says opening up the door. His eyes land on me first then on Ashley, who's sitting on the edge of her bed now. "Come on we have to go."He says to her before glaring at me and leaving the room. I walk across the room and sit next to Ashley, after I close the door after Shane leaves.
"Where are you going?" I ask moving closer to her.
"My dad has to take care of some work in New York."
"So you and Shane are going with him? What about school?"
"No, I'm just going. I get home schooled so I can do the work on a computer."
"How long will you be gone?" I say getting worried that she might not come back for awhile.
"Don't worry. It's just two days." She says smiling at me. "I know you will miss me like crazy though."
"Yeah I will." I say returning her smile.
"I have to go." She tells me getting off the bed.
"Ok." I say following her to her door. "Does this mean we're ok?" I ask biting down on my lower lip. She turns around smiling at me then gives me a kiss.
"Yeah."
Ashley's POV
I just got back from New York and I can't wait to see Spencer. Before I left we had that argument then made up but then I had to leave. So we didn't really get to talk. I was about to tell her my secret before Shane came to get me to leave.
I'm sitting on the front porch waiting on Spencer. She should be pulling up any minute, schools been out for 30 minutes now. I look up in see Spencer getting out of Aiden's car. She doesn't notice me and keeps walking towards her house, I run off the porch and go over to her.
"Hey." I whisper when I'm behind her. She stops where she is but doesn't turn around.
"Um… I can't talk right now."
"What?" I say kind of shocked and hurt that she doesn't seem too happy that I'm back. She doesn't say anything and starts to walk up the steps to her house. I grab her elbow and stop her than walk around her so where I'm in front. She looks down and I can't see her face because she has a hat on and her hair is hanging around her face.
"Ashley now's really not a good time." I step closer and bring her head up to look at me. I gasp as I see bruises all over her face. Then after the shock leaves anger takes over.
"Where is he?" She just stares at me. "Spence, where is he?" I demand.
"There's nothing you can do. Go home and I'll come over tonight." She says giving me a kiss on the cheek. I don't look at her as I walk up her porch and knock on the door. "Ash stop, go home." She demands, I just ignore her and keep knocking until a man comes to the door. I assume he's her dad.
"Spencer I to…" I cut him off before he can finish his sentence.
"If you ever put your fucking hands on her again, you will regret it I swear." I say with a very serious voice looking him right in the eyes. "My dad is a lawyer who has friends. That will have no problem putting your ass in jail. So if I see even the tiniest scratch on her, I will make sure you're some body's punching bag in prison." He just looks at me with his mouth open. Spencer's tugging on my hand trying to get me to back up. I look at her than back at her dad. "Did I make myself clear?" I ask glaring at him.
"Whatever little girl, you better get off my porch." He says with a smile on his face.
"Yeah keep smiling. But one scratch and you're done." I say grabbing Spencer hand and starting to go home. I look back over my shoulder and he's still in the doorway. "By the way Spencer's staying the night over my house tonight!" I yell back at him and continue walking across the lawn and to my house with a quite Spencer following.
Spencer's POV
After Ashley went crazy on my dad, we went to her house. No one is home. It's just me and her. Shane went somewhere with his friends her dad's at work like usual and her mom went shopping.
Since we got here neither of us has spoken. I'm still in shock over what happened just a little while ago on my porch. I think Ashley is trying to wrap her mind around what she just did as well. Right now we're just sitting on her couch. I look over and she's staring at me. After a minute goes by with us just staring at each other she moves over on the couch to where she's sitting right next to me. I look down at my hands that are playing with the end of my shirt.
"Talk to me." She says taking my hand into hers. I don't say anything I just keep my eyes on my hands. "Spencer, talk to me. What happen?"
"I um… went to that meeting with my PO. I told him everything. I told about all the times in the past my dad hit my brother, sister and me. About the stuff he's done since he's been back." I stop to take a breath before continuing. "Yesterday he came over to the house and asked Glen and my Grandma if what I said was true. They… They told him I was troubled and making it up. Paige is out of town so he couldn't ask her about it. He said he couldn't do anything about it but wait to see if he could find some evidence of abuse. I showed him my back but he said my grandma and Glen gave him some crazy story about me and Glen getting a little carried away with playing around." Tears started to run down my face. "My dad was there the whole time my PO was. When he left I tried to leave but my dad wouldn't let me. Then last night he beat me up for telling on him." I couldn't talk anymore because it hurt just thinking about it.
"I shouldn't have gone to New York." I look at up at her and see tears running down her cheeks.
"It wasn't your fault." I say wiping her tears away, like she did mine moments ago.
"Yes it was. I'm the one who told you to tell on him. Then I went to New York, when I should have been here with you."
"No. You told me to do what I should have done a long time ago. It just didn't work out in my favor." I wipe away her remaining tears. "I'm not mad at you for going to New York. I'm just glad you're back."
"What did they say at school about your face?" She asks.
"I didn't go. I went over to Mia's and we skipped school."
"You should show your PO your face, or the cops. They have to be dumb not to believe you after they see you." She says kissing the back of my hand. Mia told me the same thing about going to show the cops my face. But all I want to do is forget about the whole situation with my dad.
"Look Ashley, I know you care and you want to make sure I'm safe. But I'm fine, okay? As long I stay out of his way and I think your threat scared the shit out of him." I say smiling a little.
"Well you might be fine but I'm not. I want you to go to the cops Spencer."She says letting go of my hands.
"Ashley…" I say sighing.
"What? I don't want there to be a next time."
"I don't want to argue with you." I tell her looking her right in the eyes.
"Then don't."
"Ashley…" I say letting out a frustrated sigh.
"Fine, but like I told your dad, if I see another bruise or if I even feel like something's wrong. I'm going to tell my dad. I won't be able to live with myself if something happens to you."
"Fine, whatever you say." I say pulling her into me and kissing her.
Ashley's POV
It's been a week since I threaten Spencer's dad. He hasn't laid a hand on her since. Her bruises have been healing well. She went back to school a couple days ago. When she's at school, I do my work on the computer, than straighten up around the house. My mom is usual here with me but these last couple of weeks she's been staying away from the house, I'm starting to get concerned. My dad went back to New York for some more business, it doesn't matter he's never home anyway. So I'm home by myself until Shane gets home from school.
It's 3pm and Shane just got home from school, meaning Spencer's out of school as well. But she usual doesn't come over until a around 6pm. I ignore my brother and walk past him and go up stairs to my room. I'm not in my room for more than ten minutes when I hear my mom yelling for me and Shane to come down stairs. I get down stairs and sit next to Shane on the couch, while our mom paces back and forth in front of us.
"Hey mom, what's going on?" Shane asks her. She stops pacing and takes a deep breath.
"Kids, I want to divorce your father." She tells us starting to cry. Of course I don't say anything I just get up and pull her into a hug. I support her on whatever she wants to do, even though she hasn't supported me in the past. My dad has never been my favorite person but I still love him. But my mom has always been around even if we're not the best of friends. So if this is what she needs…I want stand in her way.
"Um… well if that what you need to do." I look over to Shane and he has tears in his eyes. He might be an ass sometimes, but he really is a good guy. I reach out for him, and he gets up and throws his arms around us breaking out into tears. We hold each other for a while, the two of them cry. I just comfort them but no tears will come.
"Ashley, can you please talk to me." She says pulling me into a hug.
Spencer and I have been sitting on my back porch for some time now. She's been trying to get me to talk but I really don't want to after the talk with my mom about her and my dad getting a divorce.
I start to cry into her shoulder.
"Hey, baby what's wrong?" She asks pulling back so she can see my face.
"Can you stay the night?" I say pulling her back into the hug. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Just stay the night, please."
She whispers in my ear that she'll stay with me tonight and I continue to cry into her shoulder. I wasn't lying to her when I said don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know if, I'm crying for my past, present or future. I just know that this is the first time I truly let out all the tears I've been holding inside. Crying them into her shoulder because she's the only one I can be me around. The only one I trust.
Spencer's POV
I wake with Ashley in my arms and a hundred questions running through my head. Last night I held her until sleep took over. I'm really starting to worry about her. There's something bothering her that she's not telling me.
After lying awake for the past thirty minutes I try to slip out of her grip to go to the bathroom, but she tightens her hold on me. I look down at her head that's on my chest and see she's awake.
"Hey." I say giving her a kiss on the forehead.
"Hey, what time is it?" She ask sitting up against her headboard. I sit up too, while glancing at the clock on the nightstand next to me.
" 7am. Do you feel better?" I ask getting out of the bed to go to the bathroom. She doesn't answer as she gets out of the bed and walk over to the closet. I stop at the bathroom door and turn around as I speak. "Ashley…" She cut me off.
"I'm fine." She replies giving me a weak smile. I just whisper an okay and go into the bathroom. When I come out Ashley's sitting on her bed with her legs pulled up to her chest, and arms wrapped around her legs.
"Hey." I say sitting down and pulling her into me. "Are you ready to talk about what's bothering you?" I ask. She pulls away and stands up.
"No. Look can we um… maybe go to your house."
"What?" I ask shocked. We've never been anywhere together outside of her house, counting the back porch.
"I said can I come over your house." She says going into the bathroom. I follow her.
"You want to come over my house?" I ask once again, still in shock. She lets out a frustrated sigh and nods her head yes, while picking up her toothbrush. "Why?" I ask because I want to know what brought on her all of a sudden wanting to go somewhere with me.
"Spencer if you don't want me to go, than just say so." She says turning around to lean back on the counter.
"No, that s not what I'm saying, I just want to know what's going on with you." I say stepping in front of her, putting my hand on the counter on both sides of her. "I mean, last night you were crying and this morning you want to go over my house. What happened last night?" I say looking her right in the eyes. She looks away for a second then looks back at me.
"My mom's divorcing my dad. She told us last night." She tells me.
"I'm sorry." I tell her wiping the stray tear away from her face.
"Yeah…um so can we leave? I just want to spend some time with you outside of this house." She asks turning around putting the toothpaste on her toothbrush.
"Yeah, sure. I'll be in your room waiting when you're done in here." I tell her leaving the bathroom.
Ashley's POV
We've been over Spencer's all day, its like 6pm. When Spencer asked my mom if I could over her house, she looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language, but I reassured her with a simple head nod showing that I wanted to go.
Now we're sitting on her bed watching TV. Out the corner of my eye I can see her staring at me.
"What?" I ask. She looks away smiling.
"I just can't believe you're in my room."
"Yeah, I know." I say back then we sit there in silence, watching TV.
After ten minutes there's a knock on her door, then Aiden and some brunette girl comes through the door.
"Hey Spence I …" Aiden begins then he sees me. "Oh hey Ashley, I didn't know you we're here. Sorry for just barging in." His say with a shy smile. I smile back.
"It's okay Aiden." Spencer tells him putting her arms around my waist pulling me into her. Then she looks back up at the brunette. "Mia this is my girlfriend Ashley and Ashley meet my best friend Mia." She says smiling at the two of us. I send a wave and smile Mia's way.
"Nice to meet you Ashley. Spencer here talks about you all day." She says smiling. I look over to Spencer and she's blushing.
"Ok… So what were you saying when you came in Aiden." Spencer asks trying to change the subject.
"Oh right… we just wanted to know if you're still coming to Mia's party tonight? You should come to Ashley." He says taking a seat next to Mia on the couch Spencer has in her room.
" Um… I don't know we were going to kind of chill today." Spencer says looking at me, to see what I think. I just stare at her not giving an answer. I know that I don't want to go but I don't want to keep her from going.
"Well if you'll change your minds, call us. But right now we have to go shopping for the party. Come on Aiden." Mia says getting up and walking to the door. "Hope I see you soon Ashley, bye Spence." She says and Aiden says bye as well and leaves. Spencer gets back up and shuts the door.
"You can go to the party tonight. I'll be ok." I tell her. She takes her spot back on the bed next to me.
"Why don't we go together?" She asks kissing me. We kiss for a minute then I pull back.
"Spencer this is my first time out of the house, I'm not ready to go to a party."
"Ok we can stay here, or maybe go back to yo…" She starts to say but I cut her off.
"No, if you want to go to the party, go. I'll be ok." I reassure her.
"Why do you keep saying that? I know you'll be ok."
"Go to the party." I tell her ignoring her question and getting up from her bed.
"I don't want to go to the party. And where are you going?" She says walking over to me. I finish putting on my shoes before I answer her.
"Home." She looks at me confused.
"Why? I am not going to the party. I want to talk." She tells me. I know what she wants to talk about but I don't.
"I need to go home. I've been here all day. My mom's probably wondering if I'm ok."
"Ok so we can go over to your house and talk." She asks hopefully.
"Whatever." I say not really wanting to talk. Spencer grabs my chin turning my face towards her.
"What's wrong? I know your parents problems are not the only thing bothering you." She says then gives me a peck on the lips. "Talk to me."
"Maybe later." I say turning to leave but she gently grabs me arm to stop me and turn me around, seeing my silent tears run down my face.
"No. We're talking now." She says wiping the tears away.
"I…" I start to say.
"You have to stop running. I won't hurt you. You can tell me anything." She says kissing me softly. "I won't hurt you. Trust me."
And I do trust her. I think I'm ready to tell her, at least a little.
Spencer's POV
Ashley has finally calmed down, now she's just wrapped up in my arms. We've been like this for at least ten minutes.
"I'm ready." She tells me getting off the bed and going to sit on the couch. She pats the stop next to her and I sit down. "I um… when…" She stutters out.
"Hey," I say grabbing her hands. "It's ok. Take your time." She smiles at me then takes a deep breath.
"You know how my mom told you about those guys that I use to bring home," I nod my head. "Well this one boy, Rick. He had a big crush on me, but I had a girlfriend. Brooke, the girl in the picture you asked me about." When she says this, the picture pops up in my head. "Anyway, I wasn't interested in him but my dad kept insisting that I go on a date with him. He's my dad's boss's son. I couldn't … I cou…" She stops and the tears start again. I try to wipe them away but she scoots away from me. I'm not mad or hurt I know that this is hard for her.
"If you want to stop, I w…" She cuts me off.
"NO." She looks at me for the first time since she started talking. "I need to tell you. I want to tell you." I nod my head. "I just… I can't have you touching me while I do. I know that yo…" This time I cut her off.
"It's ok, I understand." I tell her. She nods her head and takes another deep breath.
"I couldn't tell them I was gay and had a girlfriend because they would flip. My mom probably would have come around but my dad… he's a big homophobe. So I said I would go out with Rick." She looks down at her lap where her shaking hands are. "I thought we'd go out and I could just come home and tell them we won't work out." She says so low it's almost a whisper. She wipes at her tears but they keep coming. "So a week later we went on a date. We went to some fancy restaurant, and the whole time I was thinking about Brooke and how pissed she was that I agreed to go on the date. Right before I left for the date, we had got into an argument because I was supposed to spend that weekend with her, but I was going to be with Rick." She stops and stands up and starts to pace around my room. After awhile she drops down to the floor and pulls her legs into her chest and hugs them.
"Ashely…" I say trying to wrap her in my arms, but she moves and stands up.
"Don't." She tells me stepping away. "Let me finish, please."
I nod my head and take my seat back on the couch.
Ashley's POV
I can't believe I even got through this much of telling her about the worst night of my life. I come this far no turning back now. Spencer just sitting there waiting on her couch for me to continue. I can see the concern in the want in her eyes. . She wants to comfort me and do whatever she can do to make it go away, just like I want for her. I take my seat back on the couh before I begin again.
"Aft…After we left the restaurant I thought he was going to take me home, he didn't. He wanted to go to a little get together at one of his friend's house, so we did." I stop to get my breathing back right, the memory making it unsteady. "We probably were at the party for about half an hour before he got a little buzz and started to get all touchy. It was late and the only people left at the party were either passed out or locked in some room having sex." I stop to look at Spencer. She looks like she knows where I'm going with this. "I told him that he should take me home, he got mad and started to yell. He asked me what was my problem, why did I keep turning him down, why won't sleep with him." My hands start to shack again but I can't stop I need to keep going. "I told him he was drunk and that I would find my own way home. He wouldn't let me leave." I say looking back over at Spencer. She has tears running down her face. I think she knows what happened next so I don't go into details. "Rick raped me, Spencer. He raped me." I say in a broken voice filled with tears.
I see Spencer get up out of the corner of my eye. She stops right in front of me. She starts to reach for me but stops. I know she's wondering if it is ok to hold me now.
"It's ok." I say grabbing her and holding onto her for dear life. "When I told my parents they didn't believe me or at least they didn't want to." I say crying into her neck. "I remember the first words out of my dad's mouth were "You're lying, Rick wouldn't do something like that". My mom just sat back and acted like it didn't happen. My dad told me he didn't believe me and I'd better not go around telling lies on his bosses son." I squeeze Spencer harder and she whisper soothing words into my hair. "He was more concerned about his job than his daughter." I say sobbing, she pulls back to look at me and wipe some of my tears away. "I stopped talk to people after that. I thought if my parents didn't believe me or stand behind me, no one would. So I closed up, Brooke broke up with me and I fell into my own little world."
Spencer has tears streaming down her face, I wipe them away. She looks down at our hands that are intertwined in her lap, than back at me.
"I believe you," She whispers. "I will always believe you." She says looking me in the eyes. I can tell she's not sure if she's saying the right things.
I thinking I'm falling in love.
"I know." I tell her trying to let her know that I know she's not sure what to say, but I can feel how much she wants to. "You're the first person I've talked to or let hold me." She smiles weakly at me through her tears, and I know that I love her.
Spencer's POV
"I need to go home." Ashley tells me between sniffles.
We've been sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor for a good 30 minutes now, holding each other. She's been crying into my shoulder, while I whisper soothing words into her ear. I want to make her pain go away but I'm not quite sure how to do that. So I hold her and tell her everything will be ok, and I won't let anything happen to her. And I won't. I think I'll die first. I think this is a part of love. I love her.
I'm bought out of my thoughts when Ashley pulls out of my embrace to see my face.
"Thank You." She says quietly looking into my eyes, while her hand caresses my cheek.
"For what?"
"For being you, for pushing me to talk, not letting me run… for listening." She doesn't let me reply before she's up on her feet pulling me along with her. "I really need to get home." Then she starts making her way to my bedroom door. I'm following behind when she turns around and hugs me again. "Um why don't you go to that party and I talk to you later on. You know my mom won't mind if you come over later." She says than kisses me on the cheek.
"Ashley I don't care about the party. I'm perfectly fine staying with you." I say confused as to why she's trying to get rid of me. I guess she read my mind.
"I know you are. And I'm not trying to ditch you or anything. I just need sometime alone." She gives me a kiss on the lips. "Today was the first time I talk about what happened since my parents, and you've been more then great but I need some time to process this. I blocked it out for so long, I jus…" She looks away from me. I put a finger under her chin and make her look at me.
"I'm sorry. I'm acting like the clingy girlfriend. You need some time alone. I get that." She smiles at me than gives me a kiss.
"Thanks for understanding and you're not the clingy girlfriend. You're the perfect girlfriend. My perfect girlfriend." She gives me another kiss. "Walk me to my door." I nod and walk her across the yard to her house. We kiss again and I promise to come over later.
Ashley's POV
Its 11pm something when someone knocks on my bedroom door, expecting Spencer I open it to see Shane standing there.
"Some girl is at the front door asking for you." Shane says then goes back to his room. Confused I walk down the stairs and to the front door to find Mia there holding up a very drunk Spencer.
"I tried to get her to stay at my house for the night but she kept saying she wanted to go over to your house. " I nod my head in understanding. Spencer finally looks up from the ground grinning.
"Ashleyyyy…" She says stumbling over into my arms. I look back over to Mia.
"Let me help you get her upstairs?" I nod my head and we take Spencer to my room. After we get her in there, Mia says bye and leaves. I look over at Spencer who's now spread out across my bed and she still has that grin on her face.
"I didn't break my promise." She says with her eyes opening and closing.
"No, no you didn't." I say sighing in getting in bed with her.
The rest of the night was spent with Spencer throwing up and me holding her hair back, then us getting back in the bed to do it all over again ten minutes later. And I don't care because she's always there to hold my hair back.
I woke up when I heard the bathroom door open. I look over to see Spencer coming back to bed.
"I didn't mean to wake you." She says getting back under the covers. I just turn back around and mumble a whatever. "Hey," She says touching my shoulder trying to get me to look at her. "Are you mad at me?" I turn around and just stare at her for awhile.
"Why'd you get drunk? You know you're not pose to you've been doing well." I finally ask.
"It was a party. Where's the fun if you don't drink a little. I wasn't planning on getting drunk it just happened." Is her reply and I sit up in bed, she does the same.
"You've been to parties since you've been on probation and you didn't drink then or at least that's what you told m…" she cuts me off before I can finish my sentence.
"I've never lied to you." She says a little loud.
"I know. I'm sorry." I look down at the blanket I've been playing with and ask the question I've been wanting to since this conversation started. "Were you trying to forget what I told you last night?" I know what I told her was a lot. I don't want to scare her off. Maybe last night while being apart, she realizes how messed up I am.
"What? No! I just got caught up in a moment." She gets up in sits in front of me. "You can't forget what happen to you, and I can't make it go away. But I will be here for you no matter what, for whatever. Last night you not only told me something so personal and something so difficult to share, but you also told me that you trust me. You trust me to never forget." She wipes the tears away that start to fall from my face. "Ashley I'll never know exactly how you feel or what you're going through. But I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel it a little less." She pulls me into a hug. We spent some more time doing what seems to be all we been doing lately, holding each other and crying.
After the tears were shed we got ready for the day and promised each other no more crying for the rest of the day, than we went down stairs to breakfast. Even though she's been strong so far I'm still waiting on her to break down and tell me she can't do this. My heart will break if that day comes. I hope it never does.
%^$&O(*&%
Spencer's POV
Today has been fun. We spent a lot of time at my house playing video games and watching movies. Mia and Jessica even came over and watched a movie with us. Of course Ashley still didn't talk when anyone was around but she did interact with everyone. I'm just glad that she's at least taking baby steps in breaking out of her shall.
When I walked Mia and Jessica down to Mia's car they both told me how much they like Ashley. They think she's sweet, I guess like me they can just tell by her movements and smile. After I saw them off, I went back up stairs to find Glen in my room talking to Ashley.
"You know you are way too hot to be dating my sister." Is what I walked in on Glen telling Ashley.
"Glen, shut up." I say smacking him on the head as I take a seat next to Ashley on my bed. He just grabs the back of his head in smiles at me.
"Well, well, well if it isn't miss too drunk to stand." He says jokingly. I send I'm a death glare telling him to shut up. I don't want to bring back up last night. Ashley hasn't said anything about it since this morning and I wasn't planning on bringing it up.
"Why are you in here anyway?" I ask him glancing at Ashley out of the corner of my eye; she looks like she's thinking about something.
"I was just coming to say hello to Miss Ashley here. We were never properly introduced, so I took it upon myself to introduce myself, seeing as you had no intention to." He says smiling at Ashley.
"I was going to." Which wasn't a lie. Glen can be a pain in the ass sometimes but he really is a good big brother.
"Yeah whatever." He says slowly backing out of my bedroom door. "It was nice meeting you Ashley, see you guy later." Then he then turns around and heads off to do who knows what. I get up and lock my bedroom door behind him than take a seat beside Ashley again.
"Your brother and friends are nice." She says smiling at me, taking my hands in to hers.
"Yeah, I know." I whisper moving closer and kissing her. What started out as a simple kiss soon becomes a make out session. When we pull apart I rest my forehead against hers. "Do you want to watch another movie?"
"I would but my mom wants to spend some time with her kids. So we're having dinner together and stuff in about an hour. In fact I should be getting home." She says giving me a peck on the lips.
"Okay." I say standing up with her. "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Yeah, I wish you could spend the night. But my mom says she doesn't want you around to see her all depressed." She says laughing a little. "I know she wasn't planning on me telling you this either."
"It's okay, I understand. We all need are time alone." I say swinging our intertwine hands between us.
"Yeah, she's probably going around screaming whenever she thinks about my dad. She did that the last time they were fighting." She says as I take a step closer pecking her on the lips.
"If that's how she releases what she's feeling then, let her scream." I say leaning in to kiss her but she pulls back. "What's wrong?" I ask her confused.
"Is drinking how you release or whatever?" She asks looking at the floor then into my eyes.
"What?" I was not at all expecting that question, I guess Glens little joke reminded her of the state I was in when I showed up at her door step last night.
"I mean, come on Spencer. I tell you about my… my you know and you go get drunk. Every one of the stories you told me about you getting drunk was after you got into it with someone or you couldn't handle something. So it would only make sense if drinking was your release." She says all this letting go of my hand and taking a seat on my couch.
"I didn't drink because of what you told me." I say running my hands through my hair.
"Then why? You said we don't lie to each other, so tell me why you got drunk." I sigh and take a seat next to her.
"When I left your house and came home to change, my grandma told me someone was on the phone for me. It was my mom." I say playing with my hands.
"What did she say?" She asks rubbing circles on my back.
"That she missed me." I say look up from my hands to Ashley. "I asked her if she missed me enough to come back. She didn't say anything so I hung up." I tell her forcing back tears. I refuse to cry for someone who doesn't want me. "So I was angry. I went to the party and had a few drinks and before I know it I'm drunk."
"Why didn't you come over to talk to me?"
"Because I didn't want to talk, and you needed your time alone." I say standing up. "You better get home before your mom goes crazy." She stands up and pulls me into a hug.
"Next time come over. We don't have talk. We can just sit there if you want. I don't like when you try to drink away your problems." She says then kisses me on the cheek.
"I will." I whisper grabbing her hand leading her to the door.
After I walk her home, I go back to my room to think. I think about how she's still willing to help out her mom even thought she didn't help her when she needed her to. And how, I can't even have a conversation with my mom without wanting to break something. I guess that's something I need to work on. Maybe Ashley can help me with that.
Ashley's POV
Last night my mom kept me up all night talking none stop about how much she hates my dad. Every time I thought she was done she would think of something new she can't stand about him. I hope I never feel that way about someone I once claimed to love.
I'm lying in my bed thinking about Spencer when she knocks on the door than pops her head in.
"Hey beautiful." She says smiling in coming to sit next to my lying form on the bed.
"Hey." I say sitting up giving her a greetings kiss. I can't say morning because it's like two in the afternoon.
"Why are you still in bed?" She asks pulling the blankets off of me.
"Because my mom kept me up all night," I tell her putting my blankets back on. "I'm tired."
"Ok then. Why aren't you sleep?"
"I'm not sleepy just tired. I just want to lay her all day today." I say pulling her in a laying down position with me. "You can keep me company." She starts to run her hand through my hair.
"I can't. I told Jessica I would go shopping with her today."She says looking from me to my hair. "I was actually coming to see if you wanted to go with me?" She says moving her hand that was in my hair to caress my cheek.
"No. I think I'm okay here." I say hoping she isn't to disappointed that I'm still not comfortable going too far from home.
"Come on Ash. It'll be fun." She says pouting.
"Spencer…" I trill off knowing she knows what I'm thinking. She just looks at me for a second before getting off the bed.
"Ok, whatever. I'll stop by later." She says making her way to my bedroom door. I get up out of bed and stop her from leaving.
"Wait. Are you mad at me?" I ask.
"No." She says quietly pulling me into her. "Sorry, I just… I don't know. I just want you to get out of this house."
"I do get out of the house. I've been going over your house for last couple of days."
"I know. I just wanted to spend some time with you in public. Which is stupid know that I think about it because you're not even out." Spencer says with her eyes looking around the room but never settling on me. Maybe she thinks that our relationship will always be this complicated and I can't promise that it want for awhile, and I think that's what she's wanting me to do. To tell her I will go out into the world with her and say hello to every smiling face I pass but I can't. I pull out of her arms.
"Maybe you should get going. Jessica's probably waiting." I tell her crawling back in my bed.
"Ashley…" She starts walking over to the bed. "I didn't mean it how it sounded. I'm sorry, let's talk."
"Have fun Spencer. I think I'm going to take a nap." I say turning away from her, wanting to end this conversation.
"Ashley…" I cut her off.
"I'm tired." I think she gets the hint after I don't say anything for a few minutes, I hear the door shut.
I close my eyes trying to forget that I basically kicked Spencer out of my room. I don't know if it's me pushing her away or her pulling away. Maybe we're both to broken to be with each other.
TBC
Ok so that's all I had ready to go tonight. Please review. Thanks again everyone for the past support and hopefully the future support for this story and others that I have written.