Chapter 15: Final Round! 18 Vs Hercule!
"LADIES AND gentlemen it's been a heck of a tournament and as much as I hate to admit it, we have come down to our last round: The great and powerful Hercule Satan vs. the mysterious but mighty Number 18!"
The Announcer paused for a moment as the crowds let out a tremendous roar of approval. The crowd of hundreds was at a volume that was roughly on par with that of a jet engine. Half of them seemed to be for the World Champ Hercule Satan, the other for the mysterious-yet-attractive 'Number for a Name' 18.
"But-" The horde of fighting fans all froze mid-cheers at the Announcer's dramatic pause. "Before that we have a surprise in store for all of you before the final round to this magnificent tournament can begin."
As if on cue, a giant yellow blimp came floating overhead as it passed over one of the stands of crowds. As it continued moving, the Announcer continued his monolog.
"Seven years ago, the world was left hanging in suspense as the live transmission from the Cell Games was violently and suddenly interrupted. But now we have completed a reenactment of that historic day FOR EVERYONE HERE TO SEE!"
A worried look appeared across Hercule's face while the crowds of fanatics let out another cheer. Above them, watching from the railed balcony, all of the fighters (save for Piccolo who remained his usual stoic and indifferent self) of Earth looked at the blimp with varying looks of unease.
"This won't be pretty," Krillin remarked with a frown as he crossed his arms at his chest.
"At least Vegeta's not around to see this," Yamcha said with a nervous laugh. "Otherwise he'd most likely blast the thing down before it could start."
18 simply said nothing, as her face remained frozen in the same shocked expression. Noticing this, 17 began to chuckle.
"What's the matter 18, worried about what this film's going to do to short stuff's reputation?"
Krillin looked up to him and glared. "Standing right here ya know…"
Gohan glanced down at Videl with a worried look. "You don't think that this film will really show what happened that day, do you?"
Videl shook her head. "I REALLY doubt it, I mean just look at my dad, he doesn't look any happier about this then you guys are. Not that this will make it any easier to watch." The last sentence was muttered under her breath.
Back on the stone arena, Hercule was doing his best to cancel the upcoming abomination against cinema and more importantly, his image.
"I never signed off on this film!" Hercule shouted, his voice and face filled with panic as beads of sweat began to fall from his afro. "Turn that blimp around immediately!"
The Announcer, however, simply remained calm and smiling.
A sudden silence fell over the crowd as the giant black monitor came to life in a glow of blue. The image of a wave crashing against three pointed, roughly triangle shaped rocks appeared on the massive monitor as the ZTV logo came into view.
"Waves and Rocks! This movie is brought to you by waves and rocks."
"AWESOME!" Bra, Marron, Time, and Trunks all looked over at Chi, who was now hopping up and down in excitement.
"What are you so worked up for?" Trunks asked.
"It's the waves and rocks people, the ones behind shows like Happy Dog or Magicalfriendship Z! This HAS to be good."
"Um… Chi?" Chi looked over at Bra, the big grin on her face not having faded in the slightest. "Yea?"
"The reason stuff like Friendship Z is as good as it is, is cuz of Studio Z, the people who make the anime. ZTV just makes the toys."
"Oh." The side spikes of Chi's hair drooped in disappointment as she frowned. "I thought it was going to be like Magical Z…"
"Shush!" Time pointed a finger to the floating monitor. "It's starting!"
DBZ
The film opened to the Cell Games arena. Panning across the ring stood the humanoid, black and green, and vaguely bug like being that had been known to the world those seven years ago by the simple name of Cell.
Then, a close-up short came to Cell's menacing looking face. While the costume wasn't half bad an effort (it certainly looked like Perfect Cell, even if the head was too small to cover the actor's head fully), the lower half of the actor's hair and chin could clearly be seen.
And thus, any hope that the Earth's forces had of the film being a good one vanished like one of the dragon balls after summoning Shenron.
That feeling only worsened when the camera panned over to Goku, Gohan, and the gang. Like Cell's costumes, they were spot on in terms of physical appearance. However, that didn't change the fact that not a one had a moveable face or changeable expression.
"Is-Is that supposed to be us?" Tien asked as he blinked, his expression dumstruck. "If so, why are our heads so big?"
"Brawwha-ha." Cell laughed a stiff laugh. "So- Which of you foolish fools shall be the first to fall to my mighty might!?"
At this point, the fake Krillin stepped forward. "I, Captain Cue ball, shall be the first to fight you mean monster Cell!"
"HA!" A voice that sounded very similar to 17 shouted out amidst the crowd of spectators.
Krillin simply slumped down as he felt his whole head start to heat up. "Knew I should have grown my hair out at some point!" he thought.
The fake Krillin and Cell then did battle, though with obvious fake grunting and clearly visible wires keeping the costumed actors in flight. The fight was slow, stiff, and awkward but was thankfully a short one. However, the filmmakers, in all their infinite wisdom and masterful talent of the craft of filmmaking, had decided to film fights for ALL the fighters there. Even the ones they didn't have any footage for in the first place (Krillin had passively knocked the ZTV reporter and camera man out when he had been the first to go up against Cell all those years ago, and it wasn't until Piccolo's fight that they had woken up and started to record again).
The main difference between the film and reality, however, was that it was Hercule who saved the day by slipping past Cell's cheaply made spear traps and by pressing a button activated explosive. The film ended with 'Hercule' looking out at the film's camera and striking a heroic pose as the credits began to roll.
The film, in short, was a mess. The acting had been so wooden one could have built a raft from it. The effects had been so cheesy that anyone with halfway decent eyesight and a functional brain could have seen them coming a mile away. And the costumes, with their unmovable expressions and lifeless eyes, were terrible.
It was, therefore, no surprise that all three stands were bursting with cheers when the film ended.
"Well, that was the most degrading half an hour of my life," Yamcha remarked to the others. Had he had his baseball cap on he would have pulled it as far down as he could in an effort to hide his face.
"I dunno guys, I didn't think it was THAT bad," Goku remarked. "I thought it was kinda fun, in a cheesy sort of way."
"I suppose it could be worse," Yamcha muttered. "I mean, it's not like they had us in high school or anything really dumb like that."
"Should we be that lucky," Tien muttered under his breath.
"Chi?" Bra asked, noticing the emotionless face of the half Saiyan girl. "A-Are you going to be okay?"
"… I'm going to need a lot of Magicalfriendship Z episodes to wash that from my brain when I get home."
"WELL, NOW WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY IT'S TIME FOR THE FINAL MATCH. MISTER SATAN VS. NUMBER 18! WHO WILL WIN AND WALK AWAY WITH A COOL TEN MILLION ZENI AS WELL AS THE TITLE OF THE WORLD CHAMPION OF MARTIAL ARTS!? LET'S FIND OUT! MISTER SATAN IF YOU WOULD STEP FORWARD PLEASE!"
For a moment, Hercule's legs refused to move. In truth, Hercule was horrified at the prospect of going into the ring with that icy eyed woman. If what he had seen when Videl fought her was true, then what chance did he have against her? First, that little blond girl had managed to beat him up despite his best effort (and even had the NERVE to criticize his form), and now he was fighting this number named lady.
Now, about to suffer the most embarrassing fight of his career, Hercule could only feel crushing despair. Oh, the fight with the girl he could always spin as saying that he just went easy on her and pretended to have a hard time with fighting her. But the much taller short haired blond? She didn't look like the type that could be bought, which just meant that when he lost this match, his career was over.
Still, aren't I Hercule Satan, the World Champ? I can't just give up the last match, without a fight, the fans will never forgive me if I do that!
And so, swallowing down a lump in his throat, as well as his pride, he walked forward and took a fighting stance.
"COME ON GIRL, LET'S GET IT ON, RIGHT NOW!" He could feel his hindquarters quaking as he said this and hoped to Kami that no one in the audience would notice.
18 (who had been called down while Hercule had been lost in thought), for what it was worth, simply stood where she was with her arms at her side, not even a pinkie so much as raised in his direction.
Cracking her neck from side to side, she took a few steps forward.
Hercule backed away hastily, his face frozen in terror as snot began to run out of his nose from sheer fear.
18 took a few more steps forward, and Hercule a few more back. Then, 18's lips curled back into a small smirk and she shot forward at the Champion of the World, forcing Hercule to cringe and shut his eyes tightly out of pure fear-based reflex.
A lone gust of wind swept over his whole body as Hercule braced himself for the end. For a moment, there was nothing, then! A sudden tap on the back of his brown fighting gi, and the next thing Hercule knew the somber looking 18 had him in a powerful headlock.
Eyes bulging, he began instantly pleading and begging, but 18's cold voice cut him off.
"Shut up or I'll rip your head off!" She paused as a smirk began to take shape on her lips. "Of course then I'd be doing you a favor, wouldn't I?"
Hercule did his best to turn his blue eyes back, his face still locked in horror.
"So, do you still want to win this match big guy?"
Hercule began rambling that he didn't care about winning, that the match could be hers so long as she didn't hurt him.
"Well, now that you know you can't win," 18's voice changed into a more seductive tone. "I won't mind letting you win."
"H-Huh?"
"I said I wouldn't mind letting you win, you moron. All you have to do is give me 20 million Zennie for winning, not a bad price I'd say. Especially considering the embarrassing situation you're currently in right now."
"Y-You mean it?"
"Of course, I mean it! I don't want all the publicity and fanfare, just give me the match and an extra ten million out of your own pocket."
"I-I'll do anything to win, the money's yours!"
18 smirked again. "Good choice champ." With that she finally released his poor neck and flew back, letting out a poorly acted cry of anguish in the process. She landed on her two feet, standing tall a moment later.
Hercule, of course, then began his typical annoying showboating for the next couple of minutes.
18 could feel a vein on her forehead start to pop. "Stop talking, and start fighting. Now."
Her cold commanding tone made Hercule's blood run cold and so he charged at her like a raging bull ape, belting out a battle cry in the process.
He swung his tightly balled fist back and when he was within range, threw it right at 18's face. The punch connected, but Hercule would not let up as he began hammering the cold blond's face and upper body with a flurry of furious punches with almost machine gun like speed.
Were 18 a normal fighter, such blows would have hurt her and sent her reeling back in pain. However, being a cyborg that would never tire out, 18 was hardly what one would call 'normal' by any stretch of the definition.
Even with all of his famed strength and speed, 18 didn't even seem the least bit fazed by his punches. In fact, the only thing his blows seemed to be doing was just whipping the woman's short hair back and forth. There was only one thing left he could do then.
"TAKE THIS, MY ULTIMATE ATTACK! FEEL MY TRUE POWER SISTER, SATAN PUNCH!"
Summoning every ounce and iota of his power, Hercule threw forth his most powerful punch, which connected with 18's face perfectly.
"Is that it?" 18 asked, a small bead of sweet forming on the side of her face as she said this, her head not having recoiled in the slightest from the blow.
"Uh, Yea?"
18 sighed. Why me, she thought to herself as she prepared to fling her body out of bounds.
Were this a certain other universe, with certain pink bubblegum god slaying magical beings in it, 18 and Hercule's plan/deal would have gone without a hitch. But, because this was not that universe, this universe's 18 did something that the other 18 did not do: she glanced up in the sun for a brief second out of boredom.
At the very moment, the sun was at just the right angle to cause a sneeze.
Which- No! 18 thought as her nose began to twitch involuntarily. Not now, not- "Ah.. ACHOO!" -it did.
Were 18 a normal woman, that sneeze would have been nothing more than that, a sneeze. But, as it as been mentioned before, 18 was in fact a very powerful cyborg, one that had gone toe to toe against super powered aliens and won handily.
And when you have a being with a power level of WELL over 1 million sneeze uncontrolled at a being whose power level is only 140 at the most…
Well, the effect is much like a house of cards getting hit with a freight train.
Hercule flew back as if being shot from a cannon, where he crashed so hard into the white wall that his body left a very clear, almost snow angel-like imprint. For a long moment, that was where Hercule stayed, before he let out a low moan and fell to the grass below with a deep THUD sound.
For a long, long moment, there was a stunned, hushed silence throughout the crowd. Finally, the Announcer broached the quiet with his typical loud, professional bombastic voice.
"WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS, THE MYSTERIOUS NUMBER FOR A NAME 18 IS YOUR NEW WORLD CHAMPION! LET'S GIVE YOUR NEW CHAMP THE ROUND OF APPLAUSE SHE DESERVES FOLKS!"
Earth's special forces were stunned to silence as the rest of the crowds began to clap and cheer, some men were louder in their appreciation of 18's beauty (not that they put it in such tasteful terms), while sections of women throughout the 3 sided crowds went wild at finally having a champion as the same gender as themselves.
While the Earth's special forces had expected 18 to win, that was not what had taken all of them by surprise. What NONE of them had seen coming was that 18 would beat Hercule by simply sneezing him away. Granted, with someone as overly bombastic as Hercule, the method of victory WAS a fitting choice, all things told.
Their silence lasted a good few moments, before Marron, fittingly enough, broke the silence with a question. "Does this mean that mother will now have to get her hair styled into an afro?"
AN: And with this chapter the 25th world tournament comes to a close. Pretty lighthearted all things told, and hopefully you the reader will get a chuckle or two. Now onto the reviews! This week we have the return of NatNicole, and yes, Videl will be quite upset with Gohan, which will lead to her going down a different path then canon, though in fairness not getting the ever loving life pounded out of you helps.
gesto: First off, duly noted on the mocking stuff, I'll try to keep that in mind for the future. As for 18's family being attacked, I do have something like that in place but with the blast being from Krillin's past. Was originally going to have 18 knocked out but I'm thinking of adding someone else in for good measure to keep 18 occupied while Krillin and the mystery foe duke it out.
As for 18 getting stronger, I'll try to add that in for the future, though I've already got Videl, Gohan, and the rest of the human charchters to worry about.