Hey loves so.. Going forward any time there is a song in a chapter. I highly suggest that you listen to the song while reading the chapter. It's where I get my inspiration the majority of the time.
(A/N: Austin's thoughts are in bold. Ally's will be in bold italic. Their conscience's other than the song lyrics will be italicized)
Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or the Disney Channel. I don't own the lyrics to Jeannie Ortega's song either.
Ally's POV
I can't believe that Austin just kissed me, I swear to God if he tries to tell me again what I refuse to hear him or let him say. I am going to completely lose my fucken mind. I can't believe I let him kiss me. What the fuck was I thinking?
Ally, don't be so hard on yourself. Did you really think that Austin would have the balls to actually kiss you?
Honestly, no. But now what am I going to do? I can't tell Gavin we just started dating. This is so unfair. Why does Austin always have to ruin everything?
Because he..
No, don't you start too. I don't want to hear it.
...
I finally just got home, walk through the front door of my house and run upstairs to my room and slam the door shut. I'm the only one home because dad had to go to some music convention in Tennessee. He won't be back for a week.
I run over to my bed, you guessed it. Yes, I'm crying. Wait. I need my guitar. I grab my guitar really quick, go sit on my bed putting my back against the headboard with my guitar in hand. I put the guitar strap over my head, well it used to be Austin's but he gave it to me. I start strumming my guitar harshly to get out my frustration. Yes, guitar. Remember Austin taught me how to play the guitar. I'm so angry, no not angry livid with Austin that I start to scribble in my songbook. I let out a shriek in frustration and I don't care who the fuck hears me. I turn back to my songbook and start writing just all of my feelings down.
Livid. Heart Broken. Pain. Annoyance. Frustration. And the list goes on.
Hmm, maybe this will help. That selfish fucking bastard.
Let it out Ally. Use your writing as an outlet for the pain you're feeling right now. Go right ahead.
When I started writing only one guy came to mind and it certainly wasn't my boyfriend.
Austin's POV
Meanwhile, Austin just couldn't handle the fight that they just had and knew exactly where Ally was headed...home. So, even against his better judgment he drove to Ally's and parked his car. He heard the strumming of the guitar and looked up to the second floor of Ally's home and saw that her bedroom light was on.
Austin. What are you doing? Ally needs space and you're not giving her any. Were you even listening when she said that she doesn't know if she can even be friends with you anymore?
Look. I just need to hear her voice alright. I love her. This is killing me.
Suit yourself Romeo. Please don't do anything stupid.
But I did. I got out of my car and walked to the tall oak tree that if I climbed it I could reach Ally's bedroom. I've done it so many times before.
Don't even think about it.
Fine.
...
Then, I heard Ally's window open. Shit. I have to hide, pray that she doesn't see me. She opens the window, I can tell by the sigh that she lets out she's crying once more because of me. She walks away from the window. I'm guessing she goes back to her bed, picks up her guitar and songbook but we'll find out soon. I guess.
I was right. Ally starts strumming her guitar the one that I taught her how to play. I even gave her my lucky guitar strap because while I'm her goose she's my actual luck charm. So, I don't even need it anymore or so I thought. Everything's going to be alright.
I don't think so Romeo. She's starting to sing now, just listen to the lyrics.
Alright, you don't have to tell me twice.
(A/N: Austin's thoughts are in bold. Ally's will be in bold italic.Their conscience's other than the song lyrics will be italicized.)
"So Done"
Damn I never thought
I'd say what I'm about to say
Didn't want anyone
But I met you and the whole thing changed (yeah)
All the things you said had me hopin'
That your game was true. (yeah)
Got to comfortable didn't see the real side of you
And now it's obvious, even with your best
This is ain't gonna work no more.
What was I waiting for
I let tears just continue to fall from my eyes not caring that they will blur my vision. I don't want to see anything right now honestly, when I look up. I see exactly what I don't want to see. A picture frame with a picture of Austin and I from when we won the Glee competition. In the picture he's standing behind me, wrapping me in a hug and kissing me on the cheek. I remember feeling like I was on cloud-nine; I could do anything as long as we were together and thought that we were that much closer to actually getting back together. Ha!I get up, grab the picture frame off my dresser and throw it against the wall, glass shattering everywhere and I could care less.
Austin, I seriously hate that I love him.
Well are you going to scream at me for throwing a picture frame against the wall?
No, because I know how much pain you're really in. You try to keep it all inside, but you can't do that anymore. You can't act like you are alright when you're really not.
You're right. I really need to try to actually move on. It's just..
I know baby girl, but it'll all get better in time. I know that you love Austin, trust me I can feel the pain and I know it's killing you. You have Gavin now. Please. Please try and at least give it your best with Gavin. Maybe he's the right guy for right now?
Here's to hoping.
Tell me what you need. I'll help you in any way I can. I promise.
Well...can you help me tap even deeper into my anger?
I don't think that it will help, but your wish is my command.
Just like that the chorus to my new song came to me.
I'm so done
And there's nothing you can do
I'm better off without you
There will be no second chances
Taking you back
Cause I'm over that. So done
Nothing you say can change my mind
Don't even waste your time
Truth is you took me for granted
And I really had it.
I'm so done
I'm so much better off without Austin.
Do you really mean that?
No. Yes. I don't know.
Aright, let's move on to the next verse.
Now don't come around
With promises that don't exist
Cause heard it all before
And your sorries ain't fixing this (no)
Held on for so long
Cause I didn't want to let you go
Thinking you really cared (you really cared)
And that time would let it show
Ally's voice sounds so rough but beautiful. Fuck. Is it really over? The lyrics seem to suggest it. I feel my chest tighten, and the pain I feel is indescribable. Cared? She can't actually mean this can she? I can't believe this. I broke Ally. Ally finishes that verse and she starts to sob and is absolutely hysterical. She's crying so loudly that I can hear and feel her pain, yes even standing beneath her bedroom window and out of sight. I just want to comfort her, but I can't. This is all my fault. Maybe there's still hope? She obviously hasn't finished the song yet.
For your sake, I hope that the lyrics suggest hope. Now focus and listen to the lyrics Ally's singing. You need to hear this even if you don't want to. It's time to do right by Ally for once.
I continue to listen as my conscience keeps forcing me to do so.
And now it's obvious, even with your best
This is ain't gonna work no more.
What was I waiting for
I'm so done
And there's nothing you can do
I'm better off without you
There will be no second chances
Taking you back
Cause I'm over that. So done
Nothing you say can change my mind
Don't even waste your time
Truth is you took me for granted
And I really had it.
I'm so done
Maybe I was stupid
Thinking you could handle this
I was dead wrong counting on you for my happiness (yeah)
I hate to realize I didn't see it up to now
I've been a fool not leavin' you but now I'm breaking up
So I'm gonna keep on pressin' on
Fuck. I want her to be happy. Didn't I make her happy? Wasn't I enough?
You were making her happy Austin, until you went and fucked everything up because once again you didn't listen to me. You know your brain. You used the emotions you were feeling and look where that got you.
Heartbroken.
You don't think that's what Ally's feeling right now? Stop being a selfish dick and listen really listen to the chorus.
I'm so done (oh)
I'm so done
And there's nothing you can do
I'm better off without you
There will be no second chances
Taking you back
Cause I'm over that. So done
Nothing you say can change my mind
Don't even waste your time
Truth is you took me for granted
And I really had it.
I'm so done
And there's nothing you can do
I'm better off without you
There will be no second chances
Taking you back
Cause I'm over that. So done
Nothing you say can change my mind
Don't even waste your time
Truth is you took me for granted
And I really had it
...
Ally finishes the song and I've had enough. I have tears streaming down my face, now I'm not a crier but with Ally I just can't explain it. She's special, and to hear who Ally whom I believe with my whole heart is my soul mate, my here comes forever girl. I feel like my heart has just been ripped out of my chest. There's no way that Ally wrote that song about Gavin, not after what happened earlier. It's just.. I can't do this anymore. I grab my keys and run over to my red mustang, fling the drivers door open. Slam it shut, and then start the car. I slam my head against the steering wheel, end up hitting the horn so loud that it beeps. Fuck! I hope that Ally didn't hear that.
...
Wow Ally, this song is amazing.
Did you hear that?
Hear what?
Oh. I thought I heard a car door slam loudly.
Well..go over to the window and find out.
I walk over to the window, look out and I see that Austin's car is parked right across the street and he's in it. Fuck, he wasn't supposed to hear that. I look down from my window to his drivers seat with mascara running down my face. We make eye contact, he looks pained and startled. Did he really expect me to not look when a car door slammed? Great, he's probably about to speed away too now that I've seen him. Typical.
Austin realizes that he needs to get out of there quick and hopes that Ally won't see his car. Too late. I look up, I see mascara marks all down Ally's face. I need to get out of here, my tires screech as I speed down her street on my way back home. I'm half way there when I'm stopped at the light and decide to text her. I have to get Ally back.
To Ally from Austin: 3:00 a.m.
I love -
I'm about to hit send and then everything goes black.