Oh my goodness! Completely unrelated but do any of you read the Gone (Fayz) Series by Michael Grant? ? ? Well the most exciting thing happened today! Michael Grant came to my school in Plymouth, England! He is amazing and i got a book signed and got to ask him questions! Seriously if you haven't read his books Gone, Hunger, Lies, Plague, Fear and the final LIght (Just released) you should. You'll like them i'm sure xx Anyway . . .

So, its finally out there. What do you think? are you disappointed or are you pleased? let me kno oh and there was a winner to the competition, though she didn't know she had guessed right. So hey L, well done! (you know who you are - think 'this is a pen' and you will know its you!)
Enjoy this chapter. Its just a bit of a fluffy sad scene, nothing special, but let me know what you think anyhow.
(P.s, the type of brain tumor r Claire has is pronounced Crane-e-o-fa-rin-gee-oma. I know its an awfully long word. I will let you know a bit more about the illness in a later chapter . . . Bye xx)

Claire's POV

"Here." I was faintly aware of Dr Marshel holding an i pad in front of me with an image on it.
"This is a scan of your brain. If you look here … "

He was explaining what we could see in the scan but i didn't understand it. Or even if i did, i wasn't paying any attention. I felt asleep. 'Sleep has its own cadence, its own melody. Like death, sometimes silent, sometimes rising in a beautiful harmony not quite remembered. When from one or another you are flying. ' Funny how that Steven Slaughter quote had popped into my head.

I hadn't looked at my boyfriend yet. I was scared to. I was scared that if i saw the look on his face, that lost look, then i would break.
I would not cry, I told myself.
Not yet anyway.

"Claire?" I looked up at the doctor's soft tone. "Claire, i know you must be feeling scared right now, but we can help. Craniopharyngioma is not rare. We know how to help you, if you'll let us. "

"Of course. " I replied, looking Dr Marshel straight in the eyes. I was surprised at how calm i sounded, how normal i sounded. I had just been told i had a brain tumour, but i didn't feel any different. Actually, I felt numb.
"Please may i go now?" I asked, not really sure where i wanted to go. Back to bed? Back home?

"Of course. I will see to you getting your own room and will stop by to discuss our futures plans later on. "Dr Marshel answered kindly. "Now go get some rest. "

"Thank you. " i replied. I got up and walled to the
door, faintly aware of Shane following behind me.

Shane's POV

Oh God.

This wasn't happening. Not to Claire, not to my girl.

Claire walked casually out of the doctor's office, completely unfazed. How could she be so calm?

"Claire?" She kept walking. "Claire stop. "
I grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn around and look at me. Her eyes were not wet with tears, but they were not kind and soft either.

"Claire. " i said again more softly.

"Its ok. "She said, looking me in the eye. "Its ok. "

"How is it ok?" I asked, slowly starting to get angry. "Shit Claire do you not understand? You have a brain tumour!"

"I understand Shane. " Claire's voice was getting dangerously low.

"Then how can you say 'its ok'? Its not! You could die damn it this is serious! This isn't the flu Claire this is life-threatening!" I yelled.

For a moment we were silent. The sound of trollie wheels swept near by hallways, a slow buzzing sound all around us. But we were alone. Just me and Claire in a passage way somewhere near anywhere.
Finally Claire spoke. Her voice was quiet and sounded like glass, like it could break any minute or even worse, explode into a million pieces.

"You think i don't know that?" She asked in a shaky voice. "You think i don't understand that i might die?" As she spoke her voice began to get louder and louder. But i didn't interrupt her. She needed this. She need to be angry.

"God Shane i have worked so damn hard! I have worked hard to get me where i am now, to get into college early, to one day go to MIT, to . . .to be with you. But why did i bother huh? Why bother trying anymore when i'm just going to die anyway?" She yelled. "I don't understand. What have i done wrong to deserve this? Do i deserve this?" She asked, angry tears now starting to stream down her face.

I sighed, trying desperately not too cry too. I had to be strong. For Claire.
"No babe. " I stepped forward, putting my hands on her shoulders and holding her at arms length. I used my left hand to lift up her chin to make her look at me as I spoke.

I looked down at her and said "You have done nothing to deserve this. There is not a bad bone in your body and you have to remember that." I took a deep breath. "Its ok to be angry Claire. I'm pissed off right now. Its not far. It really isn't but just because this has happened does not mean you are going to die. You hear me?"

I waited for her to nod before pulling her into a hug. I held onto her tight and allowed my face to drop into her soft hair. I could feel her shaking and hear her sobbing. It broke my heart to see her like this. It was like losing Lyssa all over again. I could hear her screaming, her her crying. Today made it felt like Alyssa's death had only happened yesterday. There was a pain in my chest almost as if my heart wanted to break free. Claire is the same age as Lyss would be now.

Death took my sister, but there was no way in hell i was going to let it take my girlfriend as well.

"You are not going to die." I whispered, tears finally running down my face and falling into Claire's hair. "You are going to fight this thing, and I am going to be with you every step of the way. I promise."

Death leaves a heart ache no one can heal. I thought silently. But love leaves a memory no one can steal.