Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Last Airbender.
Bodyguard of Azula
Chapter 48: Tense Talk and First Mission
"Talking"
"Thinking"
"Bijū/spirit talking"
"Bijū/spirit thinking"
(Location: Konoha)
The tensions between the five of them started to rise a bit as Naruto gritted his teeth while keeping his mouth closed at the sight of the people he didn't want to see anymore. "Well?" he aked Are you going to answer my question or just stand there like a bunch of idiots?"
"Now, is that any way to talk to your teammates, Naruto?" the leader of the team asked with a chuckle in his voice.
"I don't see any of my teammates here, Hatake." His former sensei still looked the same. He still wore the blue shirt and pants uniform along with the green flak jacket and metal-plated gloves over his hands. He still wore the facemask and still had his headband covering his left eye. And his silver, spiky hair still defied gravity. "And I haven't been your teammate for the last three years."
"There's no need to be rude."
"I'm not being rude. I'm telling the truth."
"We are your teammates, dobe," said the dark, somewhat spiky, haired member of the team. He wore the same uniform as Kakashi as well as the flak jacket. He also wore a dark blue trench coat with pauldrons on the shoulders with the Uchiha crest emblazoned upon them. Emblazoned above the left breast-pocket was another Uchiha crest that was surrounded by a black, four-pointed star. Tied to the waist of the coat was a sword (a chokutō if he had to be precise).
Naruto snorted, showing his derision."The replacement says otherwise, Uchiha."
"Naruto, don't be like that," the female member of the team told him. She still had the pink hair and green eyes he remembered. But she hadn't grown it out again. Instead, she had kept it short, letting it fall to her shoulders. She wore a red top that left the shoulders bare. She wore a pink apron skirt over a pair of black shorts. She also wore black gloves and pink elbow protectors, as well as black boots. The cloth of her headband was red and she wore it like a hair-band.
"Be like what, Haruno?" he asked her. "If you thought that if I would come back willingly and we'd become one happy team again, you thought wrong. Hell, we were barely a team to begin with."
"That's not true!" she protested.
"Yes, it was! We had an avenger who wouldn't let anyone in, a Fangirl who would only pay attention to what said avenger did or said, and a knuckled-headed idiotic moron who would charge into any situation headfirst with no thought whatsoever, not to mention a sensei who was late to practically everything unless it concerned his life or the Icha-Icha series."
The fourth member looked at Sasuke and Sakura. "That actually pretty much sums up your track record," he remarked. He had black hair, which he kept short. His skin, however, was the kind of pasty white Naruto had only seen on Orochimaru (he briefly wondered if the two were related and mentally shuddered at the thought). He wore a shirt that exposed his midriff and wore a black jacket with red straps over it; the left sleeve was short while the right sleeve was long. He wore black gloves that left the thumb and index finger exposed. He wore pants that were black (which was the same color of his sandals) with a shuriken holster attached. He wore his headband around his forehead and carried a tantō across his back.
The blonde looked him over. "So, who's my replacement?"
"Hello, my name is Sai," he introduced himself with a smile.
He knew what it was the second he saw it. "Wipe that smile off your face. I don't need to see a fake one."
"You could tell it was a fake one?"
"A blind person could tell it was a fake one. Hell, I know a blind person who would've known it was a fake one." Toph would've called him out on it too.
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind, dickless."
"…I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." He turned his attention back to the others. "So, let me guess: you're here to beg me to come back and stay in Konoha, is that it?"
"It's your home, Naruto," Sakura told him.
"That hasn't been true for the last three years. Quite frankly, I would've liked to have kept it like that."
"So, you're just going to keep running away from us?" Sasuke asked. "If that's the case, you seem to be doing a bad job of it."
"For the record, I didn't come back to stay. I came back to do a job. Once that's done, my team and I are gone."
"We've already heard. You're going after the Akatsuki. What exactly makes you think you and your team can make a difference?"
"You've never seen my friend Sokka when he gets an idea," Naruto replied with a smirk. "I'd say he's the smartest of all of us, both in this team and in the one back in the Bending Countries."
"So you think that one person can make a difference?" Sai asked.
"He is the idea guy in our group," he replied with nonchalance. "That's more than I can say for any of the Konoha Eleven."
Sakura didn't like what those words meant. "What does that mean?"
"You people couldn't grasp the fact that I did not want to come back. I had to reveal the fact I had control over the capital of one of the countries to make them leave," he explained.
"You didn't belong over there. You belonged with us!" she insisteed.
His arms folded across his chest. "If that was true, I wouldn't have been banished, would I?" he asked.
"Don't try to use that one, dobe," Sasuke told him. "The others already told you knew what the Hokage did." When they had learned of that, they had breathed a sigh of relief. At the time, they thought it would make things easier. But apparently, it was the opposite.
"The fact is still the same. It was made clear to me that I was not wanted here, so I left."
"And we spent three years looking for you, we all did," Kakashi told him.
"So I was told," he scoffed. "You guys really thought I would've hung around here? I knew you would go after me, so I went somewhere new."
"We looked everywhere for you."
"Obviously not, it took you people three years to find out where I was and that was by luck."
"That doesn't matter anymore. What does matter is that you're here, dobe, and you're staying," Sasuke declared.
"Only for the Akatsuki, unless you've forgotten about them already?"
"Kami take it, Naruto! We're trying to keep you safe!" he shouted at the blonde, having lost his temper. "The Akatsuki are looking for you!"
"Of course they are. I ran into Itachi and Kisame a couple of months ago." He looked straight at Sasuke. "Why exactly haven't you killed him? Are you just waiting for him to come to you or something?"
"You ran into Itachi?!" shouted both Sakura and Sasuke.
"Haven't you been paying attention? I did just say that."
"How are you still around?" Sakura asked him. If Itachi had found him, he should've been captured. But he was right there in front of them.
"Your lack of faith is no surprise," he remarked. The sarcasm practically dripped off his words.
"Answer the question!"
He scowled. "I am not a dog, or a slave."
"Itachi and Kisame would have killed an entire city to capture you," Kakashi told him.
"Well, that would've happened. The problem was all three of us ended being caught by an insane Earth Kingdom colonel who wanted his army to raze a colony to the ground. So, we ended up triggering a battle, and in the midst of that, I got to see Kisame get graphic with his massacre. Good times, good times." he said with a sarcastic chuckle.
"You call a massacre a good time?" Sai asked with a puzzled look (not even he would qualify a massacre as a good time).
"That was a joke. Besides, they left when we were done. I left them a note."
"You left them a note?" Sasuke repeated, like he couldn't believe what he had just heard.
"I told them not to come after me. Otherwise, they'd be leaving the Bending Countries with only their heads." Granted, he might not have been able to follow through with that threat on his own, but Itachi and Kisame didn't show themselves after that. So he'd liked to think that it worked.
"You threatened them?"
"And I can back it up."
"With what? Yourself?"
"No, with them," he said with a smirk as he pointed behind him. They looked past him. Four other people, along with a wolf and some other kind of creature, were standing behind the memorial. "Nice job getting everyone, Azula."
"It wasn't that hard," she replied as they walked up to his side.
"You okay, Naruto?" June asked from aside Nyla.
"Yeah, I'm fine, June," the blonde told her. "I've just been having a conversation with some people."
"What in the name of Kami is that thing?" Sakura asked as she looked at Nyla.
June frowned at those words. "This happens to be my shirshu, his name is Nyla. Call it a thing one more time and I will sic him on you."
"As entertaining as that sounds, try to keep the ugly creature under control, June," Naruto told her. Nyla hissed at him when he heard the words "ugly creature." "Yes, I was talking about you, you blind mole. What are you going to do about it?"
The shirshu hissed again, eager to attack. "Will the two of you knock it off?" the bounty hunter told them with an annoyed frown.
"Fine." He looked at the shirshu. "But this argument is far from over." Nyla hissed in agreement. Akela just rolled his eyes at the whole thing.
Sokka didn't care either. He was more focused on something more important. "Are they who I think they are?" he asked Naruto, looking at the team of shinobi standing before them.
Naruto nodded once. "Yep, pretty much. How do you know who they are?"
"I asked Asuma and his team back in Ba Sing Se."
"Huh, I guess I missed that one." He briefly wondered when the Tribesman had asked Asuma and his team during the time in Ba Sing Se.
"What do they want?"
"The usual crap: they want me to stay here, they're trying to protect me, they've been trying to find me, etc. etc," he said in an offhand manner, waving his hand in the air.
"Well, to be fair to them, they were probably the ones who looked for you the most."
"I'd figured. It's too bad they didn't come over when the others did. I would've had fun with them."
"What do you mean by that?" Suki asked.
"I would've actually spent time playing around with them. You know, taunting them, giving them false information so they could run off and leave you guys alone in a heartbeat, that kind of thing."
"I think you've been hanging around Jiraiya too long," Sokka commented.
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"Are you planning to peep on naked women?"
He glared at the Tribesman. "You want to repeat that?" he asked with a threatening voice. He might act like the Super Pervert sometimes, but he would never go to that level.
Sokka just grinned. "Nope, glad to know you're still you."
"Thank you ever so much."
"Who are these people, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, losing any playful tone left in his voice. Now he sounded like an actual shinobi.
"What? The others didn't tell you who they were?" the blonde asked, casting a look over at him.
"Answer the question, dobe," Sasuke told him, his hand already going for his chokutō.
"Isn't it obvious? These are my teammates."
"We're your teammates!" Sakura protested.
"You've been replaced," he replied. "As I've told you all too many times already."
"And who exactly are these four?" June asked, looking at them. "Sokka apparently knows them, but the rest of us do not."
"In that case, meet Team Kakashi, the last group of the Konoha Eleven." He cast a glance at the team. "Although, I think it's the Konoha Twelve now, considering they have a replacement."
"I have never been a part of the group," Sai told him. "That position was for you and you alone."
"Well, congratulations. You're now an official member."
"Somehow, I don't think the others are going to appreciate that," Azula remarked. If anything, they were going to hate it.
"You know me, I live to disappoint them. Anyway, I'm done here. Let's head back." He started to walk away and the rest of his team followed.
"We're not done here, Naruto!" Sakura shouted.
"As a matter of fact, we are," he told her without even looking at her.
"If you take one more step, I'll…"
"You'll what? Beat me into a bloody pulp like when we were younger?"
Azula went rim-rod stiff when she heard that, her mind going back to the Boiling Rock.
"Three years ago, there was this girl I liked." He gave a bitter chuckle. "Like is probably too easy a word. I had a huge crush on her. But she thought I was an idiot and kept hitting me every time I came near her."
"Who was it?" she demanded in a growl.
"Relax, you haven't met her. You know the funny thing? I kept coming back and she still kept punching my lights out. That and she had eyes for someone else. When I came here, I had brought the memories of her rejections with me."
"You were the one who hit Naruto?" she all but snarled at the pink-haired shinobi, turning to face her. "You're the one who would beat him bloody anytime he came near you?" She began to generate lightning, pointing it at Sakura.
But before she could discharge it, Naruto grabbed her hand and redirected the lightning upwards into the sky. "Azula, calm down," he ordered her, seeing the enraged look on her face.
"Why should I?" She wanted to hurt the girl in front of her.
"Think, use your brain. If you attack them right now, we'll have an incident on our hands. And that's enough to have either one of the councils' put bounties on our heads. If they make it large enough and give our whereabouts, it'll be safe to say that the bounty hunters will come after us even if we're in the Bending Countries."
"Oh, that'll be fun," June remarked sarcastically. "Instead of being the chaser, I'll end up being the one chased."
Azula began to calm down as she thought the facts through. "Alright, I get it," she told Naruto.
"Are you calm?" he asked her.
"Yeah, I am."
He let go of her and faced Team Kakashi. "Here's what's going to happen: we're going to leave and you're not going to do anything to stop us," he told the four of them.
"What's stopping us?" Sasuke demanded.
"The fact that I can signal your Fangirls to this location and watch as they try to capture you," he said with a straight face.
The Uchiha went still with a small look of horror. "You're bluffing. You have no way of signaling them."
"You do realize that your Fangirls know how to operate a wireless radio, right? It's just a matter of finding the correct signal." He pulled out a radio to emphasize his point. "Bye." He turned around and walked away, the other members of his team following him.
Team Kakashi just watched as they left. "…Well, that went well," Sai commented. Nobody felt like telling him to shut up.
The next morning, as the sun rose, Naruto rose as well. He got out of the bed and put on workout clothes. He made his way to the front door and was about to open it when a voice spoke from behind him.
"Are you thinking of leaving without me?" Azula asked. He turned to face her. She was wearing black sweatpants and a black workout bra (which, in his humble opinion, worked on her).
"I'd figured you'd want a few more minutes of sleep," he replied.
"I'm a Firebender. When the sun rises, so do we."
"True, but even Firebenders get a few extra minutes of sleep."
"…I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." She had been rising with the sun ever since she had discovered that she was a Firebender, following a tradition that stretched back to ancient times.
"Alright, alright, I get it. Ladies first," he told her as the door opened. She threw him a look but walked through all the same. He followed behind her. "You ready?"
"Of courseI am."
"Good." The two made their way down the staircase and onto the street. There were very few people out there with them, so they were effectively alone. After a few stretches, they started jogging.
They ran in silence for the first couple of miles. "You're not going to ask why I got mad last night, are you?" asked Azula, breaking the silence.
"No, I think I know why," he replied as they jogged down the empty streets. In fact, the only other people who were up this early were the shopkeepers, and they were handling their shops. "You remembered what I told you at Boiling Rock, right?"
"Yeah, I did." She wasn't proud of the fact that she did now.
"Are you going to do that every time you see her?" If she did, he knew it was going to cause problems.
"You don't need to worry, Naruto. I won't do anything unless she does."
"So instead of throwing the first punch, you'll just throw the second one, that about it?" he asked.
All she did was smile. "You know me all too well. Besides, if she throws the first punch, we won't get into trouble."
"Don't be so sure about that. The Civilian council might have entirely new members, but I'm willing to bet that there are a few of them who would use that potential incident to get us into trouble," Naruto warned. "Plus, the last time we all came here to the village, Aang nearly pissed himself from seeing the regular inhabitants glare at us."
"That's true. Agni save us from politicians," she intoned jokily.
"Kami too," he replied, making the both of them laugh. They fell silent as they kept jogging through the village streets. They finally stopped in front of the Hokage building, panting lightly. They turned around and looked back at where they came. "Kick it up a notch?" She nodded, eager for the challenge.
They ran in different directions and began to climb up the building in front of them. Once they had gotten to the top, they took off across the rooftops. Naruto had always enjoyed doing this as a kid, running across the rooftops. He had found even more enjoyable when he didn't use his chakra. He had continued to it do even after he came to the Bending Countries and had even got Azula to join him (he told her it was a form of training).
They raced across the rooftops, ducking under obstacles and leaping across building. Adrenaline was pumping hard through their bodies. To them, the jog was just the warm-up. This was the real workout. Soon, things began to blur together, but they didn't care. All that mattered to them was the thrill of the run, the urge to win, and the rooftops in front of them.
They landed in front of the door to the house, ending the race in a draw. "How many draws are we at now?" Azula asked as Naruto opened the door.
"Do you want an honest answer?"
"Please."
"I lost count about a year ago." He focused on the priorities as they walked inside. "You can go wash up first," he told her.
"How gracious of you," she remarked drily before she headed for the bathroom. He went over to kitchen sink to wash the sweat off his face when he heard her call out. "Uh…Naruto? How does this thing work?"
"Right, forget that she's never seen a shower before," he thought to himself before heading to the bathroom. He found her standing in front of the shower. "It's not that hard, Azula," he told her. "You just do this." He grasped the handle and pulled it upwards. "You should wait until the water gets to the right temperature before getting in."
The water came on, hitting him full on. "Ah, damn it." He muttered to himself as he stood back up. "You got it?" he asked her.
"Oh yes, I do," she answered in a half-strangled voice, like she couldn't believe what she was seeing.
He went completely still. He had heard that tone of voice before. It was the same tone of voice any woman got when they saw him wet. He had also just been hit by a full blast of water coming out of the showerhead, so his hair was now all but dripping. "Azula, close your eyes," he ordered. She did as she was told (albeit with a little reluctance). "I'm going to walk out of this room. Once you hear the door close, count slowly to five and then open your eyes." He made his way out of the room and closed the door.
He walked back to the living room and after quickly drying his head off, took out his book along with his notes on them. He worked on them as he heard the shower go. It lasted awhile, until he heard the shower turn off and the bathroom door open. He heard Azula walked out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom. Then all was silent in the house.
The silence ended when Azula, fully clothed, walked back into the living room. "Sorry about that, Naruto," she said, a bit embarrassed. She knew what happened when he got wet and yet, was about to do the same thing every other girl did when they saw it.
"You don't need to apologize. But you do realize now why I had those deadbolt locks installed, right?" he asked.
"Yes, I do. It's just that…you know. You were…"
"Dripping water?" he finished for her, making her nod. "Honestly, I still don't see why women get like that whenever that happens, I am not that good-looking."
"That's a lie," she thought to herself. "It's amazing, after all the attention he's gotten from women and Fangirls, he still believes that."
He closed the book and put the notes away. "I'll go clean up." He locked the door behind him after walking in. Soon, he underneath the shower as water pounded down on him.
"You know, if that had been one of your Fangirls, I would've been laughing," the Kyūbi stated.
"That would not be a funny thing," he replied silently.
"For me, it would." It would've been immensely funny, and quite entertaining to watch too.
"Of course." His Bijū seemed to get a lot of kicks out of watching things like that happen to him.
"So, why exactly haven't you taken her yet?"
"What are you talking about? Taken who?"
"Don't play dumb with me, gaki. Why haven't you taken Azula to bed yet?"
"In case you haven't noticed, we've been to bed, several times actually."
"What did I just say about playing dumb?" the fox asked him, sounding a little annoyed now.
"Look, fox. Just because I have a girlfriend, doesn't mean we have to have sex every five minutes."
"I did not say anything about every five minutes. I mean, what's the big deal? You're not a virgin."
If he had been walking, that would've been the moment he would trip over nothing. "How the hell do you know that?" he demanded.
"Remember where I live," the Kyūbi said with complete and utter sarcasm.
"So, you were watching the entire time!?"
"No, I was asleep. I just looked through your memories the next day. Kami, was I surprised at what I saw."
"You're not going to tell anyone about that!" It may have been a while since then, but he still felt embarrassed that the fox knew about it.
"Who the hell would I tell? I'm stuck inside you!"
He forced himself to calm down. "Well, if that's the case…"
"Back to my original question, why haven't you slept with Azula?"
"I'm only sixteen, Kyūbi. I don't need to go that far right away with her."
"Which is ironic, considering how old you were when you—"
"We are not talking about that!"
"Ah! There is no need to shout!"
"Then don't bring that up!"
"Alright, alright, just answer my question already."
"I already did." The rest of the shower was spent in silence. Once he was done, he left and quickly changed into his clothes. Azula was sitting on the couch when he walked back into the living room. "Did you eat already?"
"Why would I when I have a very good chef at my disposal?" she asked with a small amount of humor.
He smiled at her and gave a formal half-bow. "Your wish is my command, Princess." Breakfast didn't take long to make. The two of them sat down to eat, talking about random things. When they were done, Naruto washed and Azula put away.
Just as they were finishing up, someone knocked on the door. "It's opened," Naruto called out. The door opened and Jiraiya stepped through. "Is it time to start already?" the blonde asked him as he finished the last dish.
He nodded. "Tsunade wants you and your team in her office. I'm to escort you two there."
"Despite what you may think, F. S.-sensei, I do know my way to the Hokage office."
"I know you do, but I want to talk to you on the way there."
"Of course, you do." Both he and Azula walked out the front door and Jiraiya followed them. "So, what do you want to talk about?" he asked the Toad Sage as they started down the street, lighting a cigarette.
"I heard you ran into Team Kakashi last night," Jiraiya remarked.
"How'd you hear about that?"
"I have my sources." That was cryptic. "How did it go?"
"How do you think it went?" the blonde asked back. "It was the same thing with the other teams. They want me to come back, they're trying to protect me, blah, blah, etc. etc."
"Be nice, Naruto."
"That was being nice."
"How did Azula know to get the other members of your team?" That was something that baffled him a little.
"That would be tellin," Naruto said with a smirk.
"Tell," he ordered.
"No, I don't think I will."
"Would you like another training session?"
He held his hands up in mock-surrender. "Alright, fine. Last night, Azula asked if she wanted me to have her make dinner."
"So? That doesn't tell me anything."
"There's a reason why we try to stop Azula from cooking, or at the least, find some good cover."
"Do you want me to send you flying?" Azula threatened, fist covered in blue fire.
"Would you relax?" he asked her. "It's the truth and we both know it. Besides, you like what I cook for you."
"Flatter," she replied, but with a small smile. The fist went down, the fire extinguished.
"So, you knew something was up once she offered to cook?" Jiraiya asked him.
"Yep, once that was in place, we started to say something one thing, but mean another. For example: last night I asked her if she remembered where the clones put the pots and other what not. She told me that the pots were to her left, the pans were to her right and the other stuff was in the shelf above her."
"In other words," Azula continued. "There was one person outside the house on my left, one on my right, and the rest were directly in front of me, on the side of the house I was looking at."
"Huh, that's fairly impressive," the Toad Sage admitted. If he had time, maybe he could devise a new cryptic language for the village from it.
"Thank you," they said together.
"Don't do that. But still, you'll have to at least get along with your former teammates," he told Naruto.
"I know that. Why do you think I stopped Azula from shooting a bolt of lightning through Sakura?"
"Yeah, I heard about that." He looked at Azula. "Why would you try to fry Sakura? You've never even met the woman." He asked as they entered the Hokage building. They knew the way to Tsunade's office, so no chance of getting lost.
"No, but Naruto told me about what she did to him," she answered with a small growl.
"Well, you're going to have to get along with each other."
"Why?" Naruto asked as they stood outside the door to her office. He opened the door and saw Tsunade sitting at her desk. Sokka, Akela, Suki, and June were there, as well as Team Kakashi. "…If this wasn't planned before last night, one of you two have lost a few IQ points," he accused both Jiraiya and Tsunade.
"Just get in here, gaki," Tsunade told him. "Now, what exactly is your name for your team?"
"We seriously have to come up with one?" he asked as they entered. Seeing an ashtray on the desk, he walked forward and stubbed the cigarette out in it.
"It's for the mission record. Should I have you known as Team Avatar?"
"No, the idiot isn't here."
"Who are you talking about?" The last time she checked, there wasn't an idiot with them when they were here.
"Aang," he said with exasperation. "If somebody didn't keep an eye on him, he would be doing something stupid all the time
"That's a little mean, Naruto," Suki accused him.
"It's still the truth. Besides, you guys didn't exactly stop him on a few of those occasions."
"Just call us Team Paragon; all four of us are in it," June told the Hokage.
"Good name," Sokka complimented her.
"I try."
"Alright then, the five of you are now Team Paragon," Tsunade declared, writing it down on one of the pieces of papers on her desk.
"What's the mission?" Naruto asked, becoming all business.
"Do you remember your mission to the Land of Snow while you were still with Team Kakashi?"
"Yes, we escorted Lady Koyuki Kazahana back to her homeland to film a movie and helped her overthrow her uncle in the process."
"Busy day?" asked Sokka.
"Just a little bit," he answered. "The weather there was almost as cold as the Northern Water Tribe capital though."
"There is reason to believe there is more to Dotō's revolt than originally believed," Jiraiya told them. That got the blonde's attention.
"According to what little information we know," Tsunade explained, "the Akatsuki somehow funded the revolt and kept a low-level presence there."
"And this Dotō didn't care about them?" Suki asked. If she had done something like (which she wouldn't), she would've kept an eye on them.
"My uncle couldn't have cared if they had run the country for him." a woman's voice said from behind. "He only cared on finding my father's treasure."
Naruto turned to face the newcomer. "Lady Koyuki," he greeted the daimyo standing in the door formally, bowing his head.
"Hello again, Naruto," she greeted in return, along with a warm smile.
He raised his head. "How did the movie turn out?"
"Quite well, as did the next one."
He would've asked her what she meant, had he not remembered what script she had in her hands the last time he saw her. "You mean you actually perform in that movie?"
"Yes, she did," Kakashi said in a semi-dreamy voice. "She did a magnificent job."
"Shut up, you perverted Cyclops," the blonde told him. "I wasn't talking to you."
"There's no need to be rude, Naruto," Koyuki told him. "It wasn't that bad."
"I hope you'll forgive me if I have a hard time believing that."
"Why do you have a hard time believing it, gaki?" Jiraiya asked.
He looked him straight in the eye. "She starred in a movie that was based on one of your books. It would've been a miracle if they managed to make it something other than a porno."
"Are you disrespecting my work?"
"Of course, I am! You're a Super Pervert, why would I respect your work?"
Tsunade cleared her voice, stopping the fight. "As entertaining as this conversation is, can we please get back to the mission briefing?"
"Fine, what are we going to be doing?" Naruto asked her.
"The two teams here are to escort Lady Koyuki to the capital of the Land of Fire and protect her."
"What's she doing in the capital?" Azula asked.
"I'm finalizing a new trade agreement with the Fire Daimyo," Koyuki answered her. "It will allow the trade system between our countries to grow, while also evening out the exchange rate."
"It'll also allow Konoha shinobi to infiltrate Yukigakure and take control," Jiraiya continued.
"Let me guess, that's where the Akatsuki had the low-level presence?" Sasuke asked. It made sense to him to have it there. It was the Shinobi village of the country.
"It's a possibility," Tsunade answered. "That is why a second team is going. While one team protects the daimyo, the other will be on the lookout."
"On the lookout for what?" asked Sai.
"According to what scant information my sources have managed to dig up, there might be a chance that the Akatsuki will try to assassinate Lady Koyuki," Jiraiya told them.
"They're going to send one of their members to kill her?" Suki asked.
"Probably not, ever since the Chūnin Exams, we have reason to believe that there is more to the Akatsuki then originally believed."
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked the Toad Sage.
"They revealed themselves to be in control of Amegakure."
"…Clever," he admitted after a paused silence.
"What do you mean?" Sokka asked.
"If the Akatsuki are the ones leading Amegakure, then that means they probably control the daimyo of that country," he explained it to the Tribesman. "That, in turn, means they have access to diplomatic immunity."
"Somehow, I don't think diplomatic immunity is going to protect nine S-class missing shinobi, dobe," Sasuke told him.
"It's not them who will have it, they don't need it," he replied curtly. "If that country sends out ambassadors to other countries, there's no legal way to find out if they are with the Akatsuki or not. They'd be protected."
"You're right. That is clever," Sokka admitted. It was a good way to get spies into other places cleanly.
"And given the fact that Ame, and by extension, the country, has adopted a heavy isolation policy, we don't know if the Akatsuki has complete control over the country," Tsunade added. "That is why you're going to try to use this potential assassination to your advantage."
"Snag the assassin and pump him for information?" June asked before smiling. "Just the way I like it."
"Good to hear. Team Paragon will act as the daimyo's guard. Team Kakashi will look for the assassin and get information," she told the two teams.
"Bad idea," said both Sokka and Naruto at the same time, earning looks from everyone else.
The Hokage's eyebrow went up. "And why is that?"
"From what I know, Team Kakashi is fairly well known in these lands," Sokka explained. "You've got Sharingan no Kakashi (Kakashi of the Sharingan), the Konoha no Sakura Hō-ō (Konoha's Cherry Blossom Phoenix), and the Kurojishi no Sharingan (Black Lion of the Sharingan). If they go hunting for information, odds are that the assassin will find out."
"You do realize we know the Henge jutsu, right?" Sakura asked him.
"There's more to it than that. Besides, if the Akatsuki did have a presence in the Land of Snow, they would've noticed you, even if you were using the Henge. If the assassin finds out you're fishing for information in the same timespan that Koyuki and the Fire Daimyo are together, they'll probably be able to connect the dots."
"So, what do you suggest, Sokka?" Koyuki asked.
"We switched the teams. Team Kakashi will stay with the daimyo while Team Paragon hunts for information. If the assassin isn't one of the S-class shinobi, then I doubt they will recognize us."
"But they will know dickless the moment they see him," Sai said, pointing at Naruto. "The Akatsuki will try to find him if he reveals himself."
"Sai, I just have one thing to tell you," Naruto told him. There was a cheerful smile on his lips that was anything but.
"And what's that?"
"The next time you call me dickless, you'll be flying through a window." Everyone (even Sai) could tell he meant every word. "Besides, I'll be able to be there and the Akatsuki would be none the wiser."
"How?" asked Suki.
"You'll see when we get there," he said cryptically.
"Very well, Team Paragon will be the shadow team and Team Kakashi will be the public team," Tsunade said with a tone of finality. "Reconvene at the gates within two hours. You are dismissed."
Sasuke and Sakura walked up to the gates of Konoha, packed and ready for the mission. "Well, look who's here, it's the married couple," June remarked from atop Nyla.
"We're not married," Sasuke told her shortly.
"Although I'm sure Sakura would love that to be true," Naruto remarked as he leaned against one of the gates, cigarette in his mouth. He wore a black traveling cloak over his clothes with the hood up over his head.
"That's not funny, Naruto," Sakura told him. "Besides, I've grown out of that."
He stared at her, pulled out a shuriken, held it up in the air, and let go of it, letting it fall to the ground. "Sakura's not a Fangirl anymore," he said to himself. "It's the end of the world."
"Now, that's not nice, Naruto," Kakashi told him as he and Sai joined them.
"It's still the truth."
"We have to work with these people, Naruto," Sokka said. Akela was at his side, sniffing the air and observing new scents.
"I'm well aware of that." Hell, he had known these people before the Tribesman did. "Although dealing with Long Feng is far more preferable to them."
Sokka and Suki winced at the mention of the former Dai Li head's name. "Then at least try to get along with them."
"This is me getting along with them," he retorted. "If I didn't want to get along with them, either I'd be gone or they'd be dead."
"Gaki, behave," Jiraiya told him with a stern voice.
"I am behaving." He took a drag and blew out the smoke. "When is Lady Koyuki showing up?"
"She should be here soon enough."
"Actually, I think I see her coming up now," Azula said as she looked back into the village, getting everyone's attention.
"I apologize if I was late," Koyuki said as she walked up to them.
"You weren't." Suki reassured her.
"Hey, where are the guards or the servants? I'd thought you would have had them, since you're a daimyo," Sokka asked.
She shook her head. "I came here with Lord Gaara during the Chūnin Exams and I've stayed in Konoha since. I've been talking to the Fire Daimyo via messengers, so this will be the first time we'll be talking about the trade agreement face-to-face."
"And nobody back home is panicking about where you went?" Naruto asked her.
"Everyone who needs to know where I am does know."
"Is everyone here?" Jiraiya asked, looking around and counting heads.
"Yes." They all answered.
"Good. Since we're escorting Lady Koyuki, we cannot take to the trees. This'll make the journey to the capital about five days long. I want you all to be on alert. I don't care if we're on the road, at camp, or in the capital, never let your guard down, got it?"
"We got it, F.S.-sensei," Naruto told him.
"Then let's move out!" They all started walking away from the village and for Team Paragon, their first mission in the Elemental Countries.
End
Author's note: Thank you for all the reviews you have sent me.
Now, I know that there are some of you who wanted Naruto and Team Kakashi to come straight to blows right off the bat, but honestly, that's too easy and too boring. Besides, Naruto would only do that if he was still the same knuckleheaded idiot from before. And since he's not, why would I write it like that? I'm going to use a little thing call "tension" between him and the team. It'll keep the interactions between them entertaining. Who knows, it might just come to a head.
As for the Fangirls of Sasuke, I'm pretty sure they know how to communicate with each other discreetly. They live in a shinobi village, even if they aren't shinobi themselves, they're bound to pick up a few things. And it honestly looks like handling a wireless radio isn't difficult. Hell, ten says they have their own channel.
If you want to know more about Naruto not being a virgin, you'll just have to wait. But I will say this: when we actually get to talking about it, there will be no flashbacks. So if you're hoping for an actual description of what happened, tough shit.
I'm well aware of the fact that Koyuki is from a movie and not the manga. I brought her in so I could build on what happened to her (i.e. her uncle taking over the Land of Snow). What happened to her in her past just seemed a little too straightforward. I mean, her uncle just pulls off a revolt just because he wanted to find a treasure his brother made (which turns out to be a heat generator) and rule over the country? That sounds like something of a B movie.
For the record, I am not bringing in any of the anime arcs (the Land of Birds, the Land of Vegetables, etc. etc.). I can understand why the writers put in those arcs, but the fact that they're now putting filler episodes in the anime annoys the hell out of me. The manga is a complete arc ahead of the anime; they don't need to put in anymore filler episodes! Can we please get back to the actual anime already?! For the love of God, the video games are farther ahead than the anime!
Quite a few of you thought that the members of Akatsuki were going to get diplomatic immunity was a stupid move on my part. Did I ever say it was for the members the shinobi know about? No! They're in control of an entire village, they don't have send out the known members to that kind of thing, that's what the Ame shinobi and politicians are for! Personally, I'd like to think that there was more to the Akatsuki then those ten members (and yes, I'm counting Orochimaru).
I'll see you all next chapter!