Next chapter guys and just heads up this one is going to be mostly humor so no real fight scenes. Now on with the story!
Taking one last look at myself I teleported to the castle entrance in my human form. I had spent a few minutes getting a grip on my powers and found out that I could switch between my human form and pony form at will. Now I could have just went back as a pony but I could not miss the opportunity to scare the living shit out of everyone.
When I appeared every guard in the vicinity pointed their spears at me while one demanded, "who are you!?"
I didn't answer right away because I was trying to decide on how to respond. When I got an idea I immediately put it into action and even changed my voice to my demonic one for added effect.
"I do not answer to you worm. Now go and get the princesses and the elements before I decide to mount your head on my wall. I actually think you would look nice next to the manticore."
The thing was I actually did have a stuffed manticore head on my wall at home but if Shy ever found out I would be fubar.
That didn't stop the pony prick from running with his tail between his legs to fetch the others.
It wasn't even a minute before everypony showed up looking ready for a fight especially Tia, she looked ready to kill.
"Who are you and why are you here," she demanded.
"Well to answer your first question I am War and as for the second... well your about to find out."
I then let my power flow so they could all feel it and they all shivered in fear while all the guards pissed themselves. I mean seriously, why are the guards even here they never do anything except stand there with a stick up their ass. Probably cause they can't get laid.
The moment was interrupted however when there was two small flashes and I was now holding my kids who were looking at me happily. I don't know how they knew it was me but I was happy to see them. I was brought from my moment with the sound of everyponies jaws hitting the ground.
I couldn't but burst out laughing at their expressions before turning back into my pony form still holding the twins.
"Oh my gods! Hahaha.. yo..you should see your faces!"
Surprise turned to anger with Celestia leading the charge. She gave me a sickly sweet smile that made me shiver before saying in a similar tone, "oooooh Darky. You should know better than that. Now come over here I have something for yoooou."
She then began walking towards me with a dangerous look in her eyes. I held up my children in front of me and said, "kids protect daddy!"
They instead teleported away, how I don't know but that didn't stop me from yelling, "TRAITORS!"
Then began the chase that would later be called 'the Reaper Hunt'.
A few hours and a beat-down from Tia later
After Tia caught me and uh 'punished' me I talked to everyone about what happened while I was gone and found out that Aj teamed up with some guy named Dixon to make cider and were calling it Dixon Cider. They were planning on selling it at the next Apple family reunion next week and all of Ponyville was invited. I knew I could not let this opportunity pass me by.
I called Light and he showed up not soon after with a, "what's up Dark?"
I gave a devious smile and said, "we got work to do."
Next week at the reunion
Me and Light were back stage waiting for the time to strike with both of us smiling like devils. Light wore a black jacket with a red undershirt while I wore a white jacket with blue undershirt.
"And now for our last performance, put your hooves together for Prince Dark Reaper and Light Dragonfire!"( yeah I figured Dark is now a prince since he married Celestia so deal with it if you don't like it.)
"Well Light lets give them a show they won't soon forget."
(Song is Dixon Cider by Smosh. Give those guys some credit and look them up on : / www . youtube watch?v=7xg48eBUkDw)
Dark: Sometimes, you have bad days; days when you think nothing can bring you up.
But if you got a girl, you got nothing to worry about, just listen here and we'll tell you just what's up.
Both: Grab your girl and have some Dixon Cider and show her love with your Dixon Cider and fill her full with lots of Dixon Cider in her mouth full fill it down inside her.
Grab her grandma get some Dixon Cider too old to handle all the Dixon Cider and show her family your Dixon Cider in her mouth full fill it down inside her
The last line nearly made Granny Smith faint but we kept going.
Light: You might not get it yet so I'm gonna tell you again, then you can shout it out and go tell all of your friends.
I love Dixon Cider and I will till the day that I die.
I would even choose it over… uh… oh.. uh… I guess...pie?
It makes me feel so good I wanna have more Dixon Cider if I don't get enough I'll beg and plead cause girl you know just what I need
Dark: I'm on a mission for some Dixon Cider if your girl don't want it then you best go harder cause I find her give her Dixon Cider push, shove it all down inside her make her thirst for the Dixon Cider put it all the spring so I can ride her all day every day Dixon Cider can't wait to pour it all inside her
I was 13 when I had my first Dixon Cider I had so much when I talked, I would slur.
My parents didn't like it, there was nothing they could do.
Then my momma tried it, she started slurring too.
My dad said no more Dixon Cider till you're older, I said hell no so I rolled him over with a boulder.
And then my ass was stuck in this crappy foster care… can anyone save me from this killer bear? (fake bear attacks)
(Ah! get away from me bear! No... no!)
Light: It don't matter who you are, white, black, asian or hispanic.
There's no need to panic; you know that shit's organic.
If you don't get it now, it could make you go nuts.
Grab your Dixon Cider and wash it down with doughnuts.
Grab your girl and get some Dixon Cider, sweet sweet love you will provide her.
Fill her full with lots of Dixon Cider.
In her mouth full fill it down inside her then shower her with Dixon Cider with all your clothes on that's what I prefer show your love with Dixon Cider push and shove it all down inside her.
Both: So that's the deal and we hope you understand we want the whole world with Dixon Cider in its hand if you're wondering what this song is really all about we're talkin' bout shoving penis in her mouth.
Everypony was either laughing or gaping at this point. Applejack was looking at as with pure rage and embarrassment.
Light looked at me and said, "she really needs some Dixon Cider." We then started to laugh our asses off. At least that was until we were chased by a majority of the apple family, hell even Granny Smith was with them and let me tell you for an old mare that bitch can run!
Then began the event known as the 'Hunting of the Apples.'
I couldn't stop laughing when I wrote this and I like to thank loremaster965 for the song and the idea, props to you man. Review and/or PM. Until then, Nicranger out.