Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.
Previously on I Hate That I Love You...
Please God, please don't take her away from me. I need her more than I need air.
I love you Ally, its always only been you.
I doubt she can hear me, unless she can read my mind and knows my thoughts. I wish that she could hear the beating of my heart, that only beats for her.
...
Austin's POV
I can't believe that the only girl I've ever truly loved is laying lifeless on the floor at the bottom of my stairs in my childhood home. I keep wishing that this is all just a nightmare and I'll wake up and Ally won't be here, she'll be tucked away in her own bed at home and safely. I rarely cry, but I could possibly lose her tonight and if I do I'll never be the same again. I'll never feel the same way about myself ever again. I'm supposed to protect her, I could have if I wasn't drunk out of my fucken mind. I'm not proud that I have used drinking on a few occasions as a coping mechanism, but I am going to break this habit for Ally. She's all that matters. She's everything to me. You have to understand that people do things that are not typical to how they would normally act when they're devastated. I had just screamed to the love of my life in a few words or less "I'm fucking in love with you." that in itself is truly out of character for me, to top it all off I said it in front of her boyfriend. I was just so sick of people interrupting. I guess I felt that the only I would ever be able to get through to her and for her to actually hear what I was saying was in that way and in that manner. I wish more than anything that I would have regained composure, but I guess this falls under the category shit happens. I hate that the way I said it came out in anger and like word vomit, but once again what's done is done. I can only fix going forward the mistake I made saying it the way that I did. At least she knows now and can't deny that I ever said it to her. I hear the door swing open, when Ally let herself in before I'm guessing that she put the key back under the mat where of course Dez knows where it is.
"Austin! We got here as soon as we could." Trish and Dez both come flying through the door panting.
"What happened? Oh my god Ally, Why does she look like she's gotten run over by a truck?" Dez asks with worry in his voice.
"Start explaining now." Trish looks at me absolutely livid and gritting her teeth.
"I think Dez better fill you in first." I say to her absentmindedly feeling absolutely numb and like a piece of me is missing, that's why I sound so empty.
"Okay Trish, so Austin here went to go confront Ally who was on a date with Gavin at the park to go see a movie that's special to her and Austin.
"What movie would that be?" Trish smirks knowing full well which one. How could she not she is Ally's best friend and they tell each other everything.
Dez looks at her with a you've got to be kidding me expression on his face, " The Notebook. Duhhh. Coincidentally also the very beginning of our Auslly's love story." He says so nonchalantly towards Trish and I.
" Anyways... Austin's been trying for God knows how long to tell Ally that he's madly in love with her, so basically he just blurt it out. Gavin then interrupted as Austin was going to pronounce his love for Ally, then flipped a shit when Austin got sarcastic and Gavin punched Austin. When Austin proclaimed his love for Ally and told her to make a choice between the two of them... Austin and Gavin just agreed with each other. So then, Austin and I stormed away before he even let Ally respond or make a decision."
Oh no here we go. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. And cue Trish going ballistic,
"WHATTTTTTTTTT! You've got to be fucking kidding me! Really Austin, that's how you tell my best friend that you're in love with her! By saying it in front of her current boyfriend? What the hell were you thinking?"
"Trish I - "
"No, before this goes any further. Dez has already called the ambulance and they're on their way. As soon as we get to the hospital with Ally. I'll start making some calls. So tell us what the fuck happened here and why Ally is now laying here and looking ghostly pale on the floor. Why did this happen and why is this where she's at?"
"Alright so Dez brought me home, hid my keys from me. He told me not to do anything stupid, honestly it was probably irresponsible but not stupid. SO anyways after I had been drinking for a little while to drown my sorrows.
"Hold Up! You were drinking?" Whack! Ouch, right in the back of my head. I continue, "I hear the door bell ring. I stumble off the recliner and open the door and I just assume it's Ally. I should have known it wasn't Ally, but I just wanted it to be Ally so bad I didn't think anything otherwise. Okay, so I let the person in, telling her how much I missed her. Apparently I had been wincing in pain from the alcohol or something, so she went to get me a glass of water and "Tylenol". She climbs on top of me, and starts grinding on me and telling me that she wants to go to the bedroom immediately. I don't even know how we made it up the stairs...Anyways, so she pushes me on the bed and straddles me. And as drunk as I am I can't even fathom having sex for the first time ever with Ally in the current state that I'm in.. So while she's grinding and straddling me, I hear a voice call my name from the door. My bedroom door slams open and I faintly hear Piper's name and think what the fuck. Okay, so the person comes in and yanks who I think is Ally off of me, only it's not Ally, it's Piper that's yanked off of me. Once there's obviously a fight going on in my bedroom I wake the 'fuck' up and snap out of it. So Ally's screaming obscenities at Piper. I'm trying to register what just happened and why I feel like I'm as high as a kite. Turns out Piper drugged me. I tell her to get the fuck off of me, chase after Ally. She's running as quickly as she can down the stairs and I catch her arm and she's screaming at me and the heartache in her voice just paralyzes me. Before I know it, Piper is alongside me and she - "
Trish and Dez nod for me to continue " She pushed Ally down the rest of the flight of stairs." Trish, Dez and I are all kneeling by Ally's side waiting patiently for the ambulance to get here. They have to get here in time; I know that they will.
I finish the story with tears once again streaming down my face, holding Ally's hand and trying to convince myself that she's still alive and still breathing. Tears start streaming down Trish's face, she goes from zero to bitch in 0.5 seconds.
Trish stands up, " WHERE IS SHE?! Tell me where she is right now! I know you, there's no way you would have let her leave after what just happened to Ally."
I gulp, knowing that Trish is about to let out her inner hulk, it's better Piper gets her ass kicked and not me. I wasn't the one that pushed Ally. I'm not the monster. "She's in my bedroom."
Trish runs up the stairs. t takes her less then thirty seconds to get up the stairs. We hear my bedroom door fly open and then Dez and I hear screaming.
"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU PIECE OF SHIT SLUT. IF MY BEST FRIEND'S CONDITION GETS ANY WORSE I'M GOING TO FUCKEN STRANGLE YOU WITH MY OWN HANDS! NO FUCKEN WHORE PUTS HER HANDS ON MY BEST FRIEND AND THINKS SHE'S GOING TO ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH IT. OVER MY DEAD BODY! YOU BITCH!"
I hear Trish roar, I hear a punch being thrown and a body being slammed to the ground.
"You're pathetic. Another fucken crazy fan girl, that's all you are. AUSTIN WILL NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER LOVE YOU! You're fucken delusional if you think otherwise. So, I'm going to do you a favor here. Let me clue you in on something sweetie." I can just picture Trish getting in her face right now and looking Piper dead in the eye. "Austin may have not realized this as of yet, but Dez and I knew the very first day that they met... Austin is now and always has been in love with Ally. You will never be Ally because she's special to all of us, but especially to Austin because Ally is his first love."
Wow there's so much fire and sincerity in her voice as she tells Piper to get a fucken clue.
I don't even hear any responses at all from Piper other than her screaming and whimpering. Dez tries his best to comfort me and puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Trish is right you know. You may have not realized it yet, but it was love-at-first-sight with you two." He says gesturing between Ally and I. "Austin, I know that you'll never love anyone else the way that you love Ally. So why do you bother with these other bimbos like Piper at all?"
I'm about to answer him, but then we hear the sirens signalling that the ambulance is close. Wow, they got here relatively quickly since Dez called and they got here. Its been less than ten minutes, who knew so much could have happened in such a short amount of time.
The blaring of the sirens gets closer and closer and finally the ambulance is now in my driveway. The paramedics rush in with a stretcher as it's protocol I'd imagine. They asked what happened and I tell them that,
"She fell about eight stairs because she was pushed by another girl." I want to look them in the eyes, but I'm feeling ashamed. So, I avert my gaze from looking at them directly.
I don't go into much detail because I'm sure all they need to know is what happened. I continue, "It happened less than twenty minutes ago. Thank you so much for getting here as quickly as possible. Please just help her." I'm pleading and it's clear I'm close to breaking down again.
The paramedic tells me that I have to let go of Ally's hand. I reluctantly do so because they need to put Ally on the stretcher, roll her out and to the ambulance. I suddenly become cold due to no contact with Ally. I hate this feeling.
The paramedic speaks with urgency, "Only one person can ride with her." he glances back and forth between Dez and I not knowing that there's another upstairs as well.
Dez looks at me, almost knowing how badly that I need to be with her right now.
I speak up, "Please let me go with her."
I'm begging the paramedic. Praying and hoping that he'll feel bad for me, see that the pain he can see in my face is because I'm in love with her.
He quirks an eyebrow and asks me, "Are you her boyfriend?"
I want to be. Oh God only knows how much I want her to be mine and only mine.
I nod my head and tears start to roll again once more down my face. I know that I've just lied to the paramedics, but it's the only way I can see them letting me go with her. He ushers us out the door, a few of the other paramedics lift and put Ally into the back of the ambulance. I climb in quickly, and look at Dez who is standing on the front porch. We're having a silent conversation. He takes out his phone and he knows that I want him to call the cops and have Piper arrested. With just one look I also communicate to get Trish to stop beating the shit out of Piper and to meet us at the hospital. Before the doors close, Dez understands that he's not to leave until the cops have Piper in custody and she's in handcuffs in the back of the cop car.
Scene Change
The doors close to the ambulance and I hold onto Ally's hand and cry out just how sorry I am even though right now she's unconscious. But if we're connected at the heart like I suspect to be true, I know that she can hear my thoughts and feel the pain I'm feeling too. That's what happens when you're someone's soul-mate and when you love someone so much that it hurts. When you feel pain, they feel pain and vice-versa. I'm feeling the worst kind of pain right now. The unknown. I don't know what's going to happen, there's a very real possibility that I could lose her tonight forever. She could lose her memory, she could forget me. I think that would kill me even more than her hating my guts, but remembering everything we've been through. I whisper into her ear,
"Ally. Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm going to do the only thing I know how to and do the best I can to comfort you. Feel me, know that you're the only person in my heart. Please baby. We'll be at the hospital soon. Please realize that what hurts the most is that you don't realize how I really feel about you. That I am willing to give you up if you're truly and honestly happy with Gavin. I love you so much that it's killing me to see you like this. "
Rascal Flatts: What Hurts The Most
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
Please stay with me baby. Ally, I need you. I feel empty whenever she's not near or with me. I kiss her hand and her forehead on the ride over to the hospital.
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm OK
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
We're so close. So close to finally being together. I just need you to let me prove that you belong with me and not Gavin.
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
I watched her walk away from me and into the arms of Gavin at the Marino High Fundraiser and that just hurt more than I thought was possible.
And never knowing
What could have been
I realize now that I should have told Ally sooner how I felt and that I wanted to get back together with her.
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Now, this completely baffles me. I may not be the best at expressing my emotions, but I thought that actions are supposed to speak louder than words. I have done so many things for her to show her that I love her without actually saying it. I snuck out of my parents house when I was grounded to help her raise money for a music program, I told her to hold my hand and we bungee jumped off a bridge together, I even danced with her when Dallas was too much of a tool and refused to do so, and the list goes on. I love Ally. I love her so much that it hurts. I'm looking at her right now, on this stretcher and I hate myself. Her perfect face now has what looks to be a black eye, I'm sure when she wakes up she might have a concussion. This is all my fault.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
I'm constantly reminded of her everywhere I go. All of the places we've been and seen together. When I go to Mini's I see her, Dez, Trish and I all sitting at a table just talking. When I walk into the practice room I see myself standing in the doorway when she thought I didn't see her.
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
I would do it all over again Ally. If that meant that I could fix my horrible mistakes and we could be happy. I would tell her absolutely everything. I would not even blink or even hesitate. I would do it in a heartbeat.
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say (much to say)
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do, oh.
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say (to say)
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
I finish singing and I feel a light squeeze of my hand...Is she?