I'm dedicating this chapter to a few of my favorites: one being my inspiration and the other who makes me smile every single day.
1baby1t and causemydarlingyoudrivemecrazy this is for you guys. You girls are so amazing! Hugs! xo
Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.
Ally's POV
Austin and I have been making out for god knows how long when he heard someone clearing their throat.
Caught.
I feel my eyes go wide when I look up and see..
Gavin.
...
I look to Austin and he's just as shocked that Gavin's standing in the doorway, especially when only one person is allowed to see me at a time. I hear running down and outside in the hallway, the person stops at my door as well.
"Trish?"
" Guys! I tried to stop him. He scanned everyone out in the waiting room and didn't see Austin. So he knew that he was in here. I told him. I told him that only person was allowed to see you at a time, because it could overwhelm you. But he didn't listen. We all yelled after him in the waiting room, but he bolted. Even Dez tried to stop him, but he just couldn't. I tried, I'm sorry I failed."
I speak to my best friend who just literally went off on a long tangent trying to explain herself,
"Trish. It's okay."
"Well, I'm going to go back to the waiting room and wait my turn." She turns to glare at Gavin. Then leaves to go back to the waiting area.
Gavin still hasn't said anything yet. He's just standing there. Frozen. He looks like he's in shock, seemingly expressionless. I could only imagine what's going to come out of his mouth. Mine and Austin's hands are still intertwined so I imagine he'll be going off soon. Gavin walks into my hospital room and slams the door. The anger in his face is just WHOA! Austin can tell that I'm scared so he squeezes my hand a little tighter to comfort me.
"What the FUCK are you doing kissing my girlfriend Austin?!"
Gavin walks over to my bed, takes Austin's hand and pulls it apart from mine. I immediately feel the warmth and contentment leave my body as it starts to tense. Once Gavin rips Austin's hand out of mine. He grabs him by the shirt making him stand, puts him up against the wall, nearly inches from his face. Oh no here we go.
"I'M WAITING FOR AN ANSWER AUSTIN!" Austin stays silent as he knows what's about to happen. Punch. Gavin punches Austin once again in the gut.
I scream, "Austin!" Gavin just looks at me because I'm clearly worried about Austin.
" Ally, you're cheating on me? With him? The guy that's broken your heart multiple times. He treats you like shit Ally. What happened to feeling like you are always his second choice. I've never hurt you, I won't ever hurt you, but this. What the fuck! I - just. You know? I gave you those red roses for a reason."
I cut him off, "Gavin."
"No you're going to listen to what I have to say. Since we're all being honest here. I know that Austin loves you. But you need to know. I'm in love with you too."
"W-what?"
I'm speechless, absolutely speechless. If I was standing up I'm pretty sure that my legs would have caved in underneath me.
I don't even have a second to process to what Gavin just said, because the next thing I know he's kissing me. I don't kiss him back or even have the chance to because Austin's ripping Gavin away from me.
"Did you seriously just kiss her?!" Austin screams in disbelief balling his hands into fists. "Get the fuck off of her!" Austin's completely livid now.
"Well, she is my girlfriend. Not yours asshole!" Gavin walks a step closer to him.
"Excuse me?! How fucken dare you talk to me like that!"
"Oh that's right. I forgot no one would ever dream of talking to Austin Moon like that!" Gavin says sarcastically.
"SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU GAVIN! SHE LOVES ME." My mouth drops open in shock. Wow, I can't believe her said that directly to Gavin.
Gavin tackles Austin to the ground, starts to repeatedly hit him over and over again in the face.
I've had enough of them beating the shit out of each other. "BOTH OF YOU GET THE FUCK UP! RIGHT NOW!"
They stop fighting the second they hear me raise my voice. "Now Gavin, you come over on this side. Austin, you come over here."
Now I have both of them on opposite sides of the bed. Austin interlocks our fingers first and Gavin kisses my forehead. I can feel Austin's grip in my hand tighten and I can tell he wants to punch Gavin again. I rub circles with my thumb on his hand to try and calm him down.
"Now, listen to me. I need some time to myself. I'm not with either of you. Well, I guess I technically am, but this is no longer true. " I turn and look at Austin, "You are my best friend. We have so much history together, but Gavin's right I've felt like your second choice for so long that I can't even fathom that I'd ever be your first choice. I can't even count how many times you have hurt me Austin. Yet, I still keep on forgiving you." I then look at Gavin, "And you. I really don't like this side to you. What happened to my sweet Southern gentlemen boyfriend? I care about you Gavin, but as of right now I'm no longer your girlfriend. I feel like you only said that you love me out of fear of losing me." I can feel Austin smirk, "Don't get so cocky Moon. I'm not yours either. Quite frankly, I hate that I love you. I know that you love me, but I just need to think about everything."
"But Baby?" Austin looks intently in my eyes pleading with me.
"But Angel?" The second Austin hears Gavin call me Angel he starts to glare again.
Gavin looks at Austin and starts screaming again,
"YOU SON OF A FUCKEN BITCH! YOU'RE THE REASON THAT SHE'S IN THIS HOSPITAL IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU LET SOME FUCKEN PSYCHO BITCH PUT YOUR HANDS ON HER. LOOK AT HER AUSTIN! YOU REALLY THINK THAT SHE'S BETTER OFF WITH YOU? HELL FUCKEN NO."
"Gavin. Stop! Don't say that to him. You have no idea what happened!"
"SO tell me! I deserve to know why you were pushed down a flight of fucken stairs."
"Okay well what happened tonight was after you dropped me off at the house. I went into my bedroom and started crying."
"Were you crying over me?" Gavin asked hope evident in his voice.
"N- no. I wasn't and that's the problem. You were my boyfriend, I should have been crying over you, but then I completely fell apart over. I was so besides myself that I literally felt nauseous and sick. I wrote a song, when I finished I knew it was about Austin. I went to Austin's to tell him how I feel about him, and when I got there he was drunk, in his bedroom and Piper was on top of him. I was so angry I couldn't even see straight."
Gavin interjects, "You were drunk and about to fuck another girl? He's glaring at Austin right now with daggers. "Are you serious Austin? He looks back at me, grabs my hand again that were just balled into fists, "This is ridiculous Ally. So ridiculous, I can't believe that you put up with all of his shit."
"Gavin. Piper drugged Austin. He thought that she was me."
"What? Can you repeat that for me one more time? I just want to make sure that I'm not hearing things." Gavin tries to process what I'm saying.
Alright it's better late than never, "Austin and I have been...together."
"WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT! YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKEN KIDDING ME ALLY!"
"I'm not. Austin told me that he's in love with me. You even heard him say it to me in so many words or less. I really like you Gavin I do, but when I'm with you I feel like a part of me is missing. That piece is Austin. He wasn't lying when he said that I love him."
"Are you serious? Is this really happening? Are you telling me that you're picking him?" He looks at me absolutely heartbroken, complete and utter disbelief written all over his face.
"I'm not choosing either of you right now, but you have to understand that I love him..." looking directly at Austin. "unconditionally. He's my person. I don't know how else to explain that to you Gavin, but Austin just is. Now, I think you should go home. I'm sorry."
Before Gavin leaves, he says, " I do really love you Ally. I am in love with you too. I meant what I said. I'll be here when you decide who you want to be with."
With that Gavin leaves the room with his head down and I could only assume leaving the hospital and not speaking to anyone. Austin takes this opportunity to hug me and hold me close, it feels right, but it feels wrong at the same time. I just don't know. I can't just forgive him right away.
"Austin. Can you please hand me your guitar? I wrote something, I want you to hear it."
He obeys my wishes, since I'm feeling better I think I can play the guitar or at least I'll try. My abdomen's bruised, but I don't think it's that bad.
Katy Perry: Unconditionally
Oh no, did I get too close?
Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside?
All your insecurities
All the dirty laundry
Never made me blink one time
Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally
Come just as you are to me
Don't need apologies
Know that you are worthy
I'll take your bad days with your good
Walk through the storm I would
I do it all because I love you, I love you
Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally
So open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart
Acceptance is the key to be
To be truly free
Will you do the same for me?
Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
And there is no fear now
Let go and just be free
'Cause I will love you unconditionally (oh yeah)
I will love you (unconditionally)
I will love you
I will love you unconditionally
Once I finish he has tears in his eyes, "Baby that was beautiful. I love that song. Was that for me?"
"Yes." Austin's smile grows wide and he kisses me and I kiss him back with hesitancy and just as much force. I reluctantly break away.
"That's how I feel about you Austin, but I can't do this. I need time." His eyes are searching mine, I know that he's fighting for me, for us, I can see it. He lifts my chin, forces me to look at him. His face is close to mine and his eyes I feel like they're piercing into my soul. He puts his forehead against mine, there's a softness in his eyes. One I haven't seen in a little while. God, I hate that I love him and how much I love him, but I have to stay strong.
"I love you baby, take all the time that you need." My heart wants to do flips when he says I love you to me the sweet way I had always imagined that he would, but I just can't let it. He's hurt me repeatedly, I feel like I can't trust him.
"Austin. I walked in on you and Piper. She was on top of you. I can't just get over that with a snap of my fingers. I think you should go. Please try to understand and respect my wishes."
He grabs my face, " The biggest mistake I ever made was not choosing you. No one else will ever be what you are to me." He sounds sincere, I think he is, but I just don't know anymore. "No one." He says to me and I can feel my eyes brimming with tears. "I'm going to leave and tell Trish to come see you. I only want you. It's always and only been you."
Austin kisses the top of my head, turns to walk away from my bed, I grab his arm, try to turn him around to look at me.
"Austy..Please. You don't have to go. I don't want you to go."
"But you just said that you thought I should go." He sounds confused and quite frankly I don't blame him.
"You have to believe that I want it to be you and me. I just - "
He refuses to look at me. He whispers, "We're endgame."
I feel his voice start to fluctuate as it rises for what I'm meant to hear.
"I have to go baby. It hurts too much to be here right now." He walks out of my room and a minute later I hear a smash against a wall. I know that I just caused this and he could have just broken his hand. I'm an awful person.
He loves you, you just let him walk away. Why Ally?
Pride.
Well, this is fucken bullshit. If you weren't in the hospital I would tell you to get your ass out of this bed and go chase after your man. You're too blind to see that he's your soul-mate. I almost feel bad for you.
I love him, I really do. I'm just not ready to tell him and say I love you to him.
Love is supposed to make you do crazy things.
...
It feels like my anxiety has just gone through the roof, my head starts to pound, my heart feels like it's twisting; I become short of breath. So, this is what agony truly feels like. I can't believe how much I've just hurt him. I just broke his heart into a million pieces and that's not even what hurts the most.
What Hurts The Most was being so close.
A/N: That was extremely hard for me to write. I cried while writing it. I'm so sorry guys, but Ally can't forgive Austin right away even if she does love him. I hope you all understand and enjoy the chapter anyways! Love y'all. xo