Hey loves! So here's the latest chapter of I Hate That I Love You.
I hope you all like it. Please read & review. Chapter - Dedicated to my writing Twin.
Disclaimer: I don't own Austin & Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.
Ally's POV
I can't believe that its been two weeks since I've spoken to Austin. It sucks not hearing his voice, being in his arms, or having him kiss my lips. Maybe things really are over between us. I let a tear slip down my cheek. I'm getting ready to meet Trish at the mall. I just throw on a cute day dress and some wedges, some might say that they're not practical but I've learned to walk pretty well in heels. I check myself out in the mirror, decide that I look presentable enough. I flip my hair to loosen the tightened curls, run my fingers through my hair. I grab my hairspray, spray lightly at the ends to create just enough hold. Of course I can't live without music so, right now I'm listening to Demi Lovato's Trainwreck.
I shook your hand and you pulled it right away
You asked me to dance and instead I said, "No way!"
Inside I was dying to give it a try and you begged me so I stayed
I knew you were different from the way I caved
[Chorus]
We were so different
But opposites attract
So my hope kept growing
And I never looked back
You're one of a kind!
And no one can change this heart of mine
Oh!
[Chorus]
One more thing I thought I'd share with someone special
I'm falling like I never fell before
It's funny you said we'd never make it and look how far we've come
You're a trainwreck
But with you I'm in love
I'm singing along to the song, when I look behind and see that my phone is lighting up, vibrating and ringing on the nightstand? I'm putting on my lip gloss and go over to see if it's Trish calling. I get closer to my cell and I see that I have a missed call.
My heart stops: Austin /3
Whoa, I forgot that I made the heart sign broken last week when I changed it in my phone. Ouch, it hurts just looking at it.
I'm about to call back, when about a minute later it starts ringing that familiar ringtone and his handsome face comes up on my screen.
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
Cause with you I'd withstand
All of hell to
hold your hand
Id give it all, Id give for us
Give anything but I wont give up
Cause you know
You know, you know
That I love you, I've loved you all along
And I miss you, been far away for far too long
Be cool Ally. Be cool. Let's just see what he wants alright. One step at a time.
I take a deep breath and pick up my cell.
"Hello."
"Oh, hey. I was about to leave you a voice message."
"About what Austin?"
"Well, I wanted to know if you wanted to grab some coffee or something."
"Well I would, but I have to meet Trish soon."
"Oh, well how about you just meet me really quick before you go meet up with Trish."
"Sure, but I can't stay long. I mean I know that Trish is always late, but she's been surprisingly on time a lot more lately."
"Wanna just meet at the food court?"
" Sure. I'll be there in 15-20 minutes. See ya then."
OH MY GOD! I'm seeing Austin. Is this outfit cute enough to go meet him for coffee?
Yes, now stop freaking out.
Stop freaking out? Are you serious I haven't talked to him in two weeks. That's the longest we've ever gone without speaking. How's my makeup?
You look perfect. Now calm down! Take a deep breath. Inhale and exhale.
I'm trying it's just now my heart is racing.
You have about five minutes to regain your composure. You want Austin back. You have to be calm, cool and collected. You need to take a chill pill.
I got this. Once I feel that I look presentable enough, I grab my keys and head out the door. The drive over to the mall was alright I guess, but even then I couldn't stop thinking and over-analyzing. Why on earth did he call me? It only took him TWO FUCKEN weeks. I should slap him or not, ugh I don't know. I guess that I will just have to wing it. I felt those nervous kind of butterflies in my stomach. It looks like absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
Austin's POV
I just got off the phone with Ally not too long ago, now here I am at the food court waiting for her. I wonder if she's mad I haven't talked to her in two weeks. It was part of Dez's plan, shit what if not talking to her made everything worse.
I've really missed her a lot, I just want my girlfriend back.
You never officially asked her to be your girlfriend.
Well, it's not like I was given the opportunity recently.
Eh, yeah you did but you left Ally before she even told you who her choice was. So, I can't say that I blame her. Are you finished running away from Ally and your problems?
Yes. But how do I know that she won't run away from me?
You don't. The only thing you can do is hope and pray that she's willing to forgive you. You still need to prove yourself to her.
I have to get her back!
Well, then be the romantic sweet Austin that she loves. Also, don't expect her to spend more than a half hour with you. She has plans with Trish, but take the time you have with her and make the most of it.
While I'm waiting for Ally my phone starts to ring, I see that it's Dez. Great, maybe he'll have some last minute advice. I pick up on the first ring.
"Hey Dez. I can't talk long, I'm waiting for Ally. I followed all of the guidelines that you set in place. Now what?"
He asks me if I have a single red rose to give to Ally as a peace offering. I tell him yes, I do. He says to just be myself and don't bring up the breakup.
I'm sure you're all wondering what else I've been up to. Well, I've been running to release endorphins, hitting the gym, just listening to music in general. I haven't written anything other than the verses I gave Dez. Hmm I wonder what he needed me to write those for. Oh well, I guess that we'll find out sooner or later. I realized that the reason Ally left me was because I cheated on her and lied to her. I want to make up for it and talk to her about it, but I'm not sure if I should do that today or not. I'll go with a yes, but we're just going to have to wing it.
"Alright Dez, well I think I just saw her walking towards the food court, so I need to get off the phone." I quickly hand up hoping that she doesn't spot me on the phone.
Ally comes in my line of sight, I see that she's hanging up the phone most likely with Trish.
Shit, what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to greet her?
Yes greet her you moron!
Hug her?
Ummmm, let's see how she intercepts you first.
Alright, that I can do I guess. God, she looks absolutely beautiful. She's wearing an orange sundress with sunflowers on it.
Try not to fuck this up!
I'm sitting at a table over by Mini's and she walks up to the table. I rise to greet her.
"Hey." She says to me, no emotion whatsoever showing in her voice.
"Hi." I respond back to her weakly.
Hi? That's the best you got! I'm about to give you the worst headache of your life. How the hell do you think you're going to get her back with that greeting? You act like you're greeting a stranger.
"So, how are you?" She asks curiously.
"I'm good." I force out.
Lie. I'm dying without you Ally.
"How's everything been with you?"
"Great. " She beams at me, well she looks happy, but I don't know something's off.
"Is everything alright?" Shit, did I just say that out loud?
"Oh yeah Austin. Totally cool. Not like this isn't awkward or anything. My ex-boyfriend/best friend hasn't talked to me in two weeks and right now we're making small talk."
Whoa, well at least she's getting right to the point. Is having Ronnie as her manage rubbing off on her? I laugh to myself, this is not the time or place for such an inquisition at the moment.
"Listen Ally, about that."
She interrupts me, "Well I really want to grab some coffee. I'm pretty tired and need a pick me up before another one of Trish's infamous shopping sprees."
"Well let's go to Miss Suzy's Sweet Cafe." I suggest.
"Yeah, that's cool."
When we start walking towards the cafe there's a ton of distance between us. Then, while we're walking Ally is getting checked out by practically every guy within a one mile radius. It's taking all of my self-control to not put my arm around her.
"I'll get us our drinks. Why don't you have a seat? I'll be right back."
Shit. This isn't off to a great start. Her body language seems rigid. I walk over to the register and order her a iced mocha coffee and I order myself a hazelnut iced coffee as well, pay the cashier. Even while standing at the register I look to see where Ally and I are going to be sitting.
"Your girlfriend is very pretty." She says, I just thank her and don't even try to correct her.
I carry our drinks over to the table, place Ally's Iced Mocha right in front of her.
"Thanks for the coffee Austin. Let me give you money for it." She insists.
"No Ally, that's not necessary and I'm not taking your money. It's my treat."
"So" cue awkward silence.
She hesitates, decides to speak, " So, you've been MIA for two weeks now. I guess you've been busy with your next girlfriend or wait no newest girlfriend?"
"Ally."
"No it's okay Austin. Really, I mean you know it's only been a few weeks, but hey if you've moved on already then so be it. We don't have to be friends."
"What?" I choke out.
"Yeah, it's not like you care or that I even matter to you anyways. Oh, and look at how quickly you moved on with Piper. Oh, you haven't been around anyways, so I mean I guess I really don't need you after all." She says with hurt evident in her voice.
"Ally."
"What Austin?" She looks across the table at me with a scowl.
I take her hands, bold move, but I don't think that she'll listen to me any other way. I reach out across the table and look into her chocolate brown eyes. "Ally. Piper was a mistake."
"Oh really? Really Austin? How am I supposed to believe that when on a few occasions I've found you in a compromising position with her? You know when she was doing what she did to you on the beach were you even thinking about the restraining order we were supposed to file against her?"
"Honestly...no. But. I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I don't love Piper. I promise you that I don't."
"Austin. You know I've put up with so much of your shit, you've broken so many promises and -"
"Ally, there's no way I can make it without you."
"You obviously can because you did for two weeks. It looks like you're still alive, so you're obviously happy without me." Well, I really wasn't expecting that.
"Ally. I didn't want to. I just wanted to give you space. I fucked up really badly, and I'm just so sorry. There were so many times I - "
"Austin, Trish is calling me. I really should get going."
"We're not finished yet."
I plead with her, I noticed that there's a song playing in the cafe. The song has just started and I take her hands again that she's just pulled away from me.
Nick Jonas - Stay
It's hard to believe,
Where we are now.
Your hand in mine, babe,
Feels right somehow.
I feel that familiar tingle in my hand as I hold onto her petite ones.
The night is so still,
So don't make a sound.
Cause its almost perfect,
So, promise you'll never look down.
...
You'll never look down? That reminds me of our song, Don't Look Down. I wink at her, she gives me a tiny smile.
We've had our past (I know),
let's leave that behind.
I'm pleading with my eyes, with her to forget all of this crap that's happened between us recently.
Cause none of it lasts,
All that we have is tonight.
Cause you're not the only one,
Who's ever felt this way.
Ally looks at me like I have no idea how she's feeling. I was in a car accident, she was pushed down stairs, we had a crazy psycho ex girlfriend of mine, her ex-boyfriend who she went and saw our movie with. A ton of shit has happened, but I love her.
Don't let the world cave in,
Just tell me that you'll stay.
Even after two weeks of not seeing and talking to her. I am still in love with her. I see tears start to well up in her eyes. I look at her, continue to serenade her as tears spill over her cheek. She goes to stand up, I pull her arm to keep her seated.
Now the pain is done,
there's no need to be afraid.
We don't have time to waste,
Just tell me that you'll stay.
Ally continues to cry and I wipe a stray tear that has fallen away. I find myself getting lost in this song completely, feeling every single lyric that I'm singing along to.
Beautiful, one of a kind.
You're something special babe,
And don't even realize
That you're my heart's desire.
All that I needed and more.
I know you're scared,
But I promise, babe,
I'm not who I was before.
I'm not the guy who's going to run away from Ally every single time that we have a problem. I take the palm of her hand and draw a heart and write our initials inside of it using the tip of my finger. She looks up at me, not really knowing how she's supposed to be reacting to any of this.
Cause you're not the only one,
Who's ever felt this way.
Don't let the world cave in,
Just tell me that you'll stay.
Now that the pain is done,
there's no need to be afraid.
We don't have time to waste,
Just tell me that you'll stay.
Cause you're not the only one,
Who's ever felt this way.
Don't let the world cave in,
Just tell me that you'll stay.
Now that the pain is done,
there's no need to be afraid.
We don't have time to waste,
Just tell me that you'll stay.
Tell me, tell me you'll stay.
No, tell me.
Tell me that you'll stay.
I finish singing along to the song playing over the speakers, lean in over the table. I really really want to kiss her. I'm still holding her one hand, I bring the back of her hand up to my cheek. I've missed this so much, I've missed her so much. I let my face rub the back of her hand.
"Baby, I need to tell you something." I lean even closer in towards her face. "I've done a lot of thinking."
"About what Austin?" She starts to pull her face away from mine.
"Us." I continue to invade her personal space.
"Us? But - there is no us." She says shyly. "I'm not good enough for you." I hate that I made her feel inadequate.
"I want there to be. I need to be completely honest with you. I'm lost without you Ally. I walked around the past two weeks acting like I was okay, when I was really dying inside."
"Really?" She says sounding completely shocked.
"Yeah, Ally you're my heart and it killed me to not talk to you, but I thought that I was doing it to salvage whatever is left of our relationship. But I shouldn't have done that."
"Why?" She chokes through sobs. I lean my forehead against hers, with my eyes closed and hers closing as well. If I move my head slightly I'll be kissing her in less than a second.
"Oh fuck it!" I stand up and stand her up as well, pull her down to my lap so she's sitting sideways while I sit us back down in the chair.
""What are you-" I cut her off. "Baby. I love you."
I kiss her like I haven't kissed her in a year, it's filled with just so much passion and love. I pull away from her and the kiss almost breathless.
"I'm in love with you. Really in love with you. I've really missed you, I've been going crazy without you. Please give me another chance."
"Austy. I've really missed you. But I mean, you broke my trust."
"Ally, please just give me a chance."
I still have her sitting on my lap, ignoring our surroundings around us completely.
"Please Ally, it's you."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean." You know what forget what I just said. I realize that I haven't given her the rose yet. But it's not just any rose.
"I'll love you until the last petal falls."
She takes the red rose and thanks me, notices that it's a silk fake rose.
"Alright Austin. I'll give you another chance."
"Okay baby, well I need to start planning on how I'm going to make this up to you."
"Austin. Just so we're clear. We're not back together, but I'm open to the idea of us getting back together once we figure our shit out."
" I know, I'll make it worth your while. We belong together."
"Shit, I really need to go meet Trish now. I'm about an hour late."
I pull her in for a hug, I want to kiss her again, but decide to kiss her forehead instead. She hugs me back and just looks at me, her eyes are telling me that she's conflicted, but she meant what she said. I can see that she wants to say I love you to me, but she can't will herself to do it.
"I'll call you later."
With that Ally walks away to presumably go meet up and shop with Trish. I have some serious work to do.
If she only knew that she's The One.