HEADS UP, IF YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO LEMONS THERE WILL BE A COUPLE OF PARTS YOU MAY WANT TO SKIM OVER ;)
Sam awakens with confusion filling his mind and aching morning wood. He rolls over and checks his phone for the time, it's just a few minutes before noon. He throws on some short and covers his junk as he checks the house to see if it's safe to "take care of business." He finds a note next to his door when he returns to his room.
Sam,
We tried to wake you, but you seemed really tired, so get some rest.
Burt, Finn, and I went out for a bite and then we're grocery shopping, and may go see a movie. Should be home around five this afternoon, and there's money on the counter for you to order a pizza if you get hungry.
Love,
Carole.
Sam smiles at the note and then, locks his door, before he jumps onto his bed. He slips out of his boxer briefs; his hand slowly trails its way down his bare chest. His mind tries to focus on it being someone else's hand doing to work. He imagines Quinn's delicate fingers are caressing his rock hard abs. He can feel her warm lips press against his lips as the hand grasps his shaft.
She climbs on top of him and he smiles at her, but then his imagination changes and Quinn becomes Blaine. Sam wants to stop the fantasy, but he can't. Blaine leans down and presses his lips to Sam's. When his lips part, Sam feels Blaine's tongue invading his mouth as the kiss deepens. Sam wraps his arms around Blaine and pulls him closer so that they are now chest on chest, skin on skin, lips on lips.
"I want you so badly, Blaine." Sam moans as he feels Blaine grinding his pelvis against Sam's.
Blaine smiles at him as he lines his cock up with Sam's opening and pushes it in. Sam moans in pleasure as Blaine starts to thrust deeper into him. He holds on for dear life as Blaine's pace quickens. He grabs Blaine's face and pulls him in for another deep kiss as he shoots his load onto his stomach and the lower part of his chest. He looks into Blaine's eyes and feels like everything in the world is as it should be.
When Blaine fades away before his eyes he feels his hand is wrapped around his softening cock and he's covered in cum. Tears fall from his eyes and down the sides of his head. "What's wrong with me? I'm not gay." He says quietly. "I'm not gay."
…
Monday comes before Sam knows what's going on. The whole rest of the weekend he avoided all calls and texts from his friends, especially Blaine. He barely ate anything or slept since Saturday afternoon. His mind is riddle with grief and a little bit of self-hatred. As he walked through the halls of McKinley he felt like everyone was staring at him, judging him for his secret thoughts. The thoughts he wanted to banish from his mind and never have to deal with ever again. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees Blaine running towards him.
"Hey buddy, where you been? I tried calling and texting you a couple of times this weekend, but you never responded." Sam can see a slight look of hurt in Blaine's eyes and he can feel it eating away at him, which only makes him hate himself more.
Staring at Blaine is the best part of Sam's morning –and the worst. For him, Blaine represents the part of him that he wants to hide, but Blaine is also his friend, so how can he hide from his friend? No matter how badly he wanted to run away in this moment, his feet refused to budge and stayed firmly planted. "Uh, sorry, I wasn't feeling well." He hated lying to Blaine, but he didn't know what was going on with himself and Blaine was the very last person he could talk to about it.
Blaine just keeps smiling. "Well I'm glad you're better, because I've wanted to talk to you about seeing if Finn and Rachel might want to join us for the concert on Friday. I've got a buddy that's working the ticket booth and he's holding me a couple more in case I want them. It's pretty much standing room only so its not like the two we've got have an assigned spot." He can see Sam's gaze start to wander. "Well, it was just a suggestion." He says sounding disappointed.
Sam here's the change in Blaine's voice and returns his attention. "Huh, sorry, yeah, it sounds great." He sends a quick text begging Quinn to meet him in the choir room, "Listen I told Quinn I'd meet up with her before class start, so I gotta go meet her." He says quickly running off.
"Ok well, see you." Blaine says feeling confused and a little sad as he walks off to his locker.
…..
Quinn is waiting in the choir room when Sam comes running in, sweating and looking panicked. She hugs him seeing that he needs a friend. "Sam what's wrong?"
An idea clicks in Sam's head and his demeanor completely changes. "Quinn, I'm sorry, it's just now that Blaine is doing better, and Finn is somewhat off my case about being friends with Blaine, … Kurt's death finally hit me and I needed someone to talk to about it."
She leads Sam over to a seat and they chat for a minute. "Sam, I'm glad you finally talked about this." She rolls her eyes for split second as she thinks about what she's about to say. "Rachel and I were actually talking about how you've been trying to keep everyone's spirits up in some way, and you haven't taken a minute," She begins to gaze into his eyes and the feelings she had last year begin to bubble to the surface as they both lean in, "for yourself." She manages to get out before their lips press together.
The kiss is sweet and lovely, but when they separate Quinn is confused by the look on Sam's face, which tells her he didn't enjoy the kiss as much as she did. "I'm sorry," she says taking his hand.
"No I'm sorry Quinn, I shouldn't have led you on." He says getting up to leave.
"Lead me on? Wait, Sam, did you bring me here just to kiss me?" She asks feeling used.
Sam can't hide it and Quinn slaps him across the face before running out of the room crying. Sam looks over and sees Mr. Schuester's office is open and the perfect place to hide out during first period. He slips inside and locks the door. He takes a seat in the corner, drawing his knees up to his chest he begins to cry. "I'm not gay." He tells himself.
…
Lunch time comes and no one has seen Sam since his and Quinn's time in the choir room. Rachel walks into the choir room and hears a muffled cry and someone talking. She sets her bagged lunch down and takes out the key she copied (secretly) for Will's office. Inside she finds Sam in the same position he was in when he entered the room.
"Sam, are you alright?" She asks as she quickly takes a seat next to him.
He can't even look her in the eyes. He feels so ashamed of himself, and he knows by now everyone will know he kissed Quinn for the wrong reasons. He's scared they'll find out and he won't be accepted anymore. He knows the kids and glee are cool and all, but they're the worst bunch of gossips in the entire school. He couldn't tell them the truth, because one of them would slip up and tell someone and then it would be all over and he would be labeled as gay, queer, and all of the things he didn't want to be labeled. But, for some strange reason he can't help but want to talk about it with Rachel. Maybe she was the person who could help him deal with all of this.
He wipes his eyes. "I'm fine, just needed to hide from the world for a little while."
She puts an arm around him. "Hey whatever it is, you can talk to me about it … if you like." She says not wanting to rush him into anything.
"I…" He stammers as he speaks, "I've been having dreams lately."
Rachel rubs her hand up and down Sam's back to let him know he's safe. "Hey, I won't say anything to anyone, I promise."
"Well," He feels as if he might vomit. "The dreams I've been having…"
Rachel can see he's having a hard time with this. "Are sexual, right?"
He simply nods. "And they involve me and…" He has to force himself to say the name. He doesn't want to, but he knows Rachel would be the last person to ever judge him for this. "B…B…Blaine." Tears fall like rain from his eyes and he grabs onto Rachel, holding her as if his life depended on it. There is silence for a moment. Rachel is just giving Sam time to think and to relax, but he takes he silence as rejection. "I know I'm a freak, and I don't want to be like this. I want to fix whatever is wrong with me, so I can be normal again!" He sobs.
Rachel shushes him for a few moments, letting Sam regain his composure and catch his breath. "Sam, look at me." She says sternly. He looks up, his damp face makes her want to cry with him. "I love you, and I will always be your friend, and there is nothing wrong with you. Nothing needs to be fixed. If you're gay, straight, bisexual, or whatever, you are perfect, and you will always have me in your corner backing you up."
Rachel's words give Sam a feeling of relief. He hugs her and cries some more, but this time he's happy that he's not alone.
"Now tell me," She says pulling away for a moment "is this why you got Quinn to kiss you?"
"I didn't feel anything." He says quietly in a more monotone voice.
Rachel makes him look at her. "That's because you don't have feelings for her. Do you think you might have feelings for …Blaine?" She asks the last part cautiously, not wanting to upset him.
His shakes his head, "I wish I knew the answer to that question."
"Well, then tell me about Blaine." Sam gives her a look of confusion. She rolls her eyes. "I mean what do you think of when you think of him?"
Sam doesn't even need a moment to think. "He's got the most amazing laugh, and his smile is super contagious. He actually likes comic books too, and he finds it funny that I can speak Navi. And don't even get me started on his eyes."
"Sam." Rachel says smiling.
"Yeah." He says smiling back.
She laughs a little laugh. "I'd say it's safe to say that you might have some feelings for Blaine."
His face changes to a frowning one and Rachel hugs him.
…..
Two weeks pass and Sam doesn't know what to do with himself. Each time he's around Blaine, his palms get sweaty and his heart races. He had been thankful that Rachel and Finn went to the SafetySuit concert with them so it was more of a friend date rather than an actual date. He sits in the living room of his new home, Burt and Carole are out and Finn is upstairs sleeping off a flu bug that's been going around. He goes to the front door when he someone rings the doorbell.
"Hey, Blaine!" He says acting cheerful.
"Hey, Sam, can I come in. I sort of need your advice on something." Blaine says sounding serious.
Sam steps aside. "Sure, come on in. Is everything alright?" Sam asks wondering if he should be worried.
They take a seat on the couch and all Sam wants to do is rip all of Blaine's clothes off right then and there, so that he can have his way with him. But, instead he waits for Blaine to speak.
Blaine is fidgeting in his seat. "Sam, I think…I think I …I might be ready to date again."
Sam smiles at this, wanting to kiss him right then and there. "That's great Blaine!"
"Yeah, and there's already somebody that I've been wanting to ask out for a while now." Blaine says sounding both excited and nervous.
Sam's heart is pounding so hard he can hear it pulsing in his ears. It grows louder and faster with every passing second. "And who might I ask is the lucky guy?" Sam says trying to play it coy.
"Sebastian Smythe." Blaine says proudly as Sam's heart shatters into a billion pieces. Sam however, maintains his supportive friend face.