By the time lunch had rolled around, everyone in the school had been acquainted with Hunter, the kid that had popped Cartman one and got the little Nazi douchebag kicked off the basketball team. He was a shitty player and an even worse human being, so the only person that didn't take to him in some shape or form was Eric. And apparently Bebe hadn't gotten the hint in P.E. either, because she kept stealing glances and giggling to her friends whenever they crossed paths. But Stan couldn't be bothered by that, not when Wendy had ditched school for the day, texting him to meet her alone later that day...

Playing with his food as he folded his sandwich in half, Cartman look at Kenny, "Hey, Kenny, what does this look like?"

Kenny laughed, "Your mom's vag."

"Hey! Screw you Kenny!" Cartman threw his uneaten apple at the side of the other boy's head. "Just so you know, this double-stuffed bacon sandwich is nothing like my mom's vag!"

Hunter snorted, "And you would know what your mom's vag looks like, how exactly?" Egged on by Kenny's fit of hysteria, Hunter prodded on even further, "Because you help her quadruple stuff herself at night?"

Kenny fell off the bench because he was laughing so hard. He was the only one though, because the others weren't paying any attention. Shame.

"Dude, Wendy's probably just sick or something." Kyle knew Stan well enough after all these these years to know where his head was at. Sure, it was strange for little miss causes to be absent from school, but even Wendy got sick sometimes, so he didn't put that much stock into it. No one did.

Cartman chimed in, munching on the additional sandwich he had bought off one of the anorexic kids, sending flecks of bread and saliva flying as he spoke between mouthfuls, "She's probably just getting a nose job or something."

"Or fixing her uneven boobs." Kenny suggested. Being the boob-man that he was, he had almost developed a kind of x-ray vision for that kind of thing, and not even his friends' girlfriends were safe.

"Dude!" Kyle spoke on Stan's behalf. "Not cool man!"

There was no apologizing for who he was. He said as much, but with some very colorful expletives.

Stan's stomach sank even lower than before. Sure, Wendy might have undergone the occasional cosmetic operation here and there out of misguided intentions, but something told him that that wasn't the case this time... No, he couldn't think like that... Yeah, she probably did just get something done, and it went horribly wrong and left her disfigured somehow, so she wanted to warn him before anyone else could make it sound even worse than what it really was... Yeah, that had to be it!

Hunter had no idea who this Wendy girl even was. "Who's Wendy?"

Right, new kid. "Wendy is Stan's girlfriend. They've been off and on for years now."

From Kyle's tone, it didn't sound as if he was too convinced they were at a high point in the relationship. Either that, or he was jealous and just didn't think very much about her. Which ever it was, Hunter didn't pursue that exact topic. "Being such a small town, how does that effect the relationships around here?"

Ahh, now that was the million dollar question, wasn't it?

Kyle had the distinct impression that Hunter might have been thinking of someone in particular when he asked that, and it was a certain orange-clad blonde sitting at this very table. So, did he like Kenny? Sure, Kyle could appreciate why so many people did (both guys and girls alike); Kenny wasn't bad looking for a scrawny, white trash kid that survived off school lunch and food stamps, but there was just something about his eyes that unnerved the son of the lawyer. Perhaps they were just too blue, or maybe it was the dark circles of poverty and torment that rimmed them - dashed with a hint of red with unknown origins - but Kyle just couldn't bring himself to think of Kenny in that light. But still, either way that had the potential to get messy...

At that moment, there came two texts, two texts that would change lives...

The first one read:

Bubby, I want you to go with Ike after school. He already has the address. I love you, Bubby.

P.s. If you don't go, you're grounded!

The second one was rather similar to the first:

Hunny-bunny, daddy wants u home straight after school - ur little bro has a play date. Also, I might be late, so can you take care of dinner? Love you, sweety-pie.

"Oh, Jesus Christ, I have to babysit my dumb little brother!" Kyle got his message first, sounding irritable, as if he had to put up with a relative that no one liked.

Hunter finished his own message just a moment later, "Great, how can I go straight home when I have detention? My dad's going to kill me if I'm not there for my little brother..." Hunter's dad might have basically left everything to Hunter after his wife passed, but that didn't mean that he didn't pass out punishments like they were free candy on Halloween.

Kyle could relate to Hunter, knowing how annoying it was to be an older brother, to have to spend all that time lugging around a floppy-headed bastard that would grow up to resent you for sneaking out one too many times to see friends rather than watch a bunch of lame-ass cartoons. "You have a little brother too?"

He nodded, "Avery. You too?"

The name came out more like a scoff of indignation. "Ike."

"But what am I supposed to do?" Nice as it was learning that one of his new friends understood what he had to put up with at home, it didn't change the fact that he was still throughly screwed, and not in the fun way.

Kenny suddenly recalled getting targeted by that ass-blaster, along with Hunter. "Fuck it, dude."

Fuck it? Sure, that sounded like an easy enough solution, but they didn't understand that he had an example to set for his little brother. But still, if he didn't show up for his brother's play date, then he was going to get into even worse trouble! Well, either way he looked at it, he was fucked, and apparently Kenny wasn't going to go either, so what the fuck was the good in serving it?

Shit burgers... Oh, maybe he could make burgers for dinner! Yeah, Avery would like that...

[South Park]

So it was with a sense of dread that the school day ended. Stan was secretly terrified of whatever it was that Wendy wanted, because let's face it, it could have been anything. Or nothing. Kyle was dully anticipating having to sit around some stranger's house while his little brother - more than capable of looking after himself by now - got to fuck around. Cartman had detention to suffer through with one of his least favorite people in the school system (ditching wasn't much of an option for him, because unlike Garrison that probably forgot about punishing the other two, the coach lived for that shit). And Kenny was poor, so not being at school or with his friends, he really had no where to go. Such was life...

Taking the bus back home to their usual bus stop (Cartman remaining while Kyle walked to the middle school to go with Ike and his friend, the name of whom he didn't hear through his headphones), the ride was rather quiet as the boys all reflected on this or that. Departing in different directions, not so much as a nod was given. Hunter almost said goodbye, but looking at the morose faces, he figured against it.

Heading home alone, Hunter figured that since they would be walking home (Avery texting that they missed the bus), he had time for a quick shower at least. Seriously, he had been stuck in his sweaty clothes all day, and he reeked... Yes, a short little shower, that would do the trick!

Too bad he hadn't counted on any shortcuts...

Ban-na-nah! Clever sound effects or a misspelled fruit? You be the judge! Seriously though, I don't think I have any messages for you all today, sorry. But you could review, maybe?

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!

[Edit: 9/13/14 - Do I really need to say it?]