The Reception.

Jessi's POV

I am here; sitting at an elegant table surrounded by friends, team members, Roger, Brian and my children. Brian might have been a challenged father but he is an amazing grandfather, and has been there for me when I really needed him, he loves me even if he has made mistakes. Like that time right after I left the Trager's, and I turned myself in to the police for the murder of the man in the woods. He was there within hours bailing me out and taking me to his house. He paid for my defense team, and proved that I had acted in self-defense all the charges were dropped, and my conscience is now clear.

I can feel Kyle in the room even if he is many tables away, I can feel his happiness, his excitement, for some reason there is an undertone of sadness. Should there not be only happiness tonight? After all you don't get the Nobel Prize every day. I wish I could just block him out but I can't, because then I will be blocking my children out too. Why doesn't he just block me out? It would make things easier for every one.

Roger asks me if I am feeling well, he notice how distracted I am. I tell him, I am just excited and then I put on my best smile. It is funny how good I am at faking smiles now, I guess practice makes perfect as the saying says.

Brian comes to me and tells me he is taking Sarah and Brian to bed, as they seem tired. He then bends over and kisses my cheek and whispers, be careful with Kyle he has never done anything for you other than cause you pain and trouble. I tell him not to worry, that he is right. But I wonder if I will be able to stay away from trouble this time.

I don't know why, but I focus my hearing on Kyles table, I hear the voice of Nicole telling Kyle how proud she is of him. I hear the voice of Lori and Declan, I wonder if they are together, probably not judging by the songs Lori is recording; she has really make it big in the music industry. I hate to admit it but I am a fan of her music, she has such a way of expressing pain and anguish which just makes me connect to her songs.

As I continue to listen I hear Stephens voice, then Josh's and Andy's voice. I have to say those two were the best to me. I am happy that my discoveries have finally cured Andy from cancer she deserves to be happy, she is lucky to have the man she loves in her life.

I hear the voice of Hillary and then the voice of Tom Foss , the man that tried to Kill me, he must be happy me and Kyle are apart now, just in case I have extra security with me tonight at the insistence of Brian. I hear other voices that I don't recognize, but the voice of Amanda is missing, is that why Kyle is sad? Because she is not here? What could possibly stop her from being here with Kyle on this especial day?

Kyle POV

I am here surrounded by my loved ones, celebrating. But the most important person to me is a few tables away, however it seems like an ocean stands between us. She is not blocking me, it is the first time that I have felt complete since I pushed her away. She not blocking me gives me some hope; maybe she could forgive me with time.

Then I realize I am too late, there is a handsome man sitting by her side being attentive to her every move, as I should have been when I had a chance. I still hope he might be a boyfriend or a finance, after all Jessi is still young, we are still young, just 25.

Then I feel like the floor is sinking under me, I see two beautiful children, her children, no I correct myself, their children, they are obviously in a serious relationship, and I don't stand a chance. I feel like I have been stabbed, I immediately bloc k my pain from her. She deserves to be happy, for many years that is all that I have wished for her. I just wish she was happy with me. But I can only blame myself for being blind to her and later for not fighting for her, for not putting her first. I deserve the pain I am living in.

Nicole notices and pull me close to her, she says, Kyle I am sorry that it did not work out between you and Jessi. I am sorry for interfering with your relationship. I would give anything to change it; I would give anything to see you happy again. I give her a half smile and tell her is not her fault. It really isn't they were just so many people against our relationship, and I was so weak and blind then. Nothing stopped Jessi however, nothing until I pushed her away, until I betrayed her.

I wish I could walk to her and beg her for forgiveness; I wish she could be mine again. But there is nothing I can do, nothing that will bring her back to me. I should however at least have the decency of letting her know how sorry I am for the pain I caused her. Now is not that time, but nothing will stop me from doing at least that much. I will have to find the proper place and time.

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