Chapter Seventy Two

The gods sort of moved in with us.

A couple more months went by. We were on our fourth year of the war. My birthday passed. I was twenty one now.

Odd. I felt like a child. And technically, in this world, with Time Lords, and gods, and angels and demons, I was.

...

To celebrate our victory and our new fighters, I visited Loki.

It's been a while since I've seen him.

We went to the library again. We go there a lot.

"You're happy," Loki said.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" I asked.

"You haven't been happy for a while," he murmured quietly. "It's refreshing to see such smiles on your face."

"Thank you," I said.

I reached up and tinkered with my necklace.

"What is that?" Loki asked. "That…charm, you wear?"

"This?" I asked, looking down at my necklace.

Odd. I hadn't realized that I had started playing with it. It was just habit. When I'm thinking, or I'm nervous, I just start playing with it.

"Yes. I always see you wearing it. What…is it?"

"Uh…a friend gave it to me," I said. If you could call her that. I don't think that dying and coming back to life evil and throwing a war against you still makes you friends. Or, a sister, really.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Well, it's a silver locket. Inside," I opened it up for him. "Is my sister, and the rest of my family." Isabelle was on one side, all the other kids, on the other.

"Isabelle got it for me," I continued. "She's my sister. The silver symbolizes purity and innocence. This stone," I showed him the indigo stone on the front of the locket, "is dyed with something called tekhelet, which symbolizes magic and royalty and stuff."

I haven't thought about this necklace in a while. I never take it off. I even sleep with it. It feels so natural on my neck I would feel bare without it.

But it was a constant reminder of Isabelle.

Could I still wear it?

...

"What about that…" Loki gestured to me.

"What?" I asked.

"That," he said.

"You need to be clearer," I told him.

"This," he said, tugging on the sleeve of my jacket. "You never take it off. You're always wearing that. And everything is black. What happened to the other colors?"

"It's nice," I said. It was the same that Clara wore in The Day of the Doctor. "This has been bugging you, hasn't it?" I realized. "What's really wrong?"

"You aren't…the same person you used to be," Loki said quietly.

"Neither are you," I said. Neither was Isabelle. No one was the same anymore.

Loki did that thing where he looks down sadly with puppy dog eyes. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

"That doesn't mean that I still won't stick with you," I said. And it was true. Despite the changes we've been through, we're still us. We are still Rissa and Loki and Isabelle.

And the old us is still there somewhere.

Maybe…

Maybe I can still save Isabelle.

After all. You don't give up on family.