Whatever it was that Hunter wanted to ask Kyle, it didn't bode well in his mind. In only one day of knowing her, the young Brofloski boy had already seen her stark naked (her cool locks falling just short of coverage), and therefore learned that the new guy in class was actually a girl, and through her own transparent actions, had realized that she had her sights set on one of his closest friends. To make matters more complicated, she was now stringing along his little brother in a bid at ensuring his secrecy of her true gender. So whatever it was that she wanted, it really couldn't have been that good...

But all the same, a part of him was curious to hear her out, wondering just what she would have the gall to ask at this point. This girl was fairly easy to brake judging from their virgin talk, and in spite of her manipulating Ike, she seemed like a decent enough human being. And anyways, anyone that would lay hands on Cartman was golden in his book, that fat fucking douchebag. Yeah, listening to what she had to say wouldn't hurt anything. How could it?

Gathering from his stillness that Kyle was waiting for her to speak, Hunter steeled herself. "I know that you already said that you weren't going to tell anyone my secret, and being in my position, I know I have no right to ask any more from you, but..." There just didn't seem to be an easy way to say this. "Will you... no, could you find it in your heart to help me?" It came gushing out in a bloody torrent of verbal discharge. "I might turn out that I don't need anything more from you, but if you are right about that Cartman, it would be nice to know that anything he might dig up... Well, I guess I mean to ask if I can count on you? I wasn't very popular in my last school, despite really helping out the team... No one really wants to be friends with a cross dresser, so... Do you want to come with me to the game next weekend? As friends. Maybe we can invite Stan and Kenny too, if they like pro ball."

Was she trying to buy their goodwill, or was this a genuine attempt at really being friends with them? Well, either way who could say 'no' to some free tickets! "Ask the guys tomorrow at school."

"What about you?" She wasn't sure if he was accepting her offer or not, although it sounded like he was.

Scoffing, Kyle shook his head, "I love basketball - I'm not going to pass up a free game."

Hunter grinned, "Great, it's a date!" She and Kyle exchanged glances. "I mean like friends, chilling at a game. Obviously I meant that."

Plans in motion and at least three months worth of allowance gone (hopefully it was going to be worth it in the end), Hunter and Kyle left for the kitchen, so she could make dinner (the deep friar was for onion rings and/or french fries). Ike tried to linger around to win a little more favor, but she shooed all three of them out of the kitchen and into the living room so she could cook in peace. Poor Avery was still suffering from trauma-wrought blindness, so they just settled on watching the television at extra loud volumes. There was a brief squabble over the remote and who got to pick what to watch (Avery insisting that they were the guests, so they should get to pick), and it almost came down to fisticuffs between the Broflovski brothers. Thankfully Hunter had been listening to them from the other room, so she came out, snatched up the remote, and put it on old reruns of Game of Thrones. She took the remote with her so they couldn't resume their fight.

"Damn, my new bitch sure showed you bro." Ike laughed at Kyle.

Kyle simply growled to himself, crossed his arms, and watched the show while he pouted. Hunter was not and never will be anything to Ike, and further more, she did not put him in his place. If he wanted to, he could easily tell her how it was going to be, but he just didn't feel like getting into it very much...

[South Park]

Mr. Bloodworth didn't come home for dinner, sending his regrets via text that he would be stuck late at the office all week while he familiarized himself with his bosses' cases. That was probably part true, but they all knew that it wasn't at anyone's request. Mr. Broflovski was a father himself, and so he wouldn't overwork an employee with a family (especially one he was trying to make friends with his sons), and who knew about that other guy. Some people speculated that he was a ghost. But that's a different story.

Seated at the table - Hunter next to her little brother so she could assist the virtually eyeless eat (praying to God all the while that he would get his sight back by the morning before their dad found out about what had happened) - Kyle and Ike found it kind of nice to not have any adults present to dominate the conversation and bark out orders and grievances, although Kyle had to wonder if it was like this for them often. Judging from the way that they behaved, the novelty of no authority had long since died away. He kind of pitied them for this lonesome lifestyle, especially Hunter, who seemed more like a mother to Avery than his sister. But he had to hand it to her - a lifetime of being pegged as a mother-like figure had really taught Hunter some mad cooking skills. Sure, this wasn't even remotely close to Cartman's mom's cooking, but it was pretty good all the same (and God knows that the company was better). Maybe if the sports thing didn't work out, she could do something involving food? And let's face it: Being a girl, the sports thing was never going to pan out.

"Too bad you can't study as hard as you play..." Half-way through the meal, Avery changed the conversation towards school. "My big sister is a beast out on the court, but she's lucky if she can maintain a C average. I guess I got all of the brains in the family." He said as a gigantic glop of ketchup fell into his lap.

Hunter easily could have warned him about it before it happened, or even told him that it had, but she was offended by his remark, so she coldly kept the spill to herself. "Some people are smart while others are asses. Only some can be both."

Kyle and Ike figured that if she wasn't going to tell him, they weren't either. Not yet at any rate. "Why'd you guys move to South Park anyways?"

That simmered their hostess somewhat. "Oh, that's kind of a long story. The short version is that I was in a neighborhood fight club, and people didn't like it very much. In fact, that got us into trouble, and really started the wheels a-grindin'. And then there was the whole thing about me becoming an outcast."

Wait just a minute! Hunter was chased out of her old home for lying about being a boy, and here she was, doing it again?! "And you didn't learn any kind of lesson the first time?"

It appeared like she thought about it, but her answer came back being less than satisfactory. "Not really, no."

Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, did people only learn valuable lessons in South Park or something?!

Sort of changing the subject, Hunter looked over at Ike, "Hopefully the same thing won't happen to me again. I mean I kind of like this place, and the people in it, so it would be a real shame if I had to leave... You wouldn't want that, would you Ike? And Avery, would you really want your friends to just come around to see me?" She looked between both of the children. Preteens, whatever, same difference. "I mean, can you imagine having to fight all those boys that would try to get to me?"

Sick of the bullshit she was trying to spew, Kyle just put it in layman's terms. "Just promise her that you aren't going to go around shouting out that she's a girl. If people think she's a dude, life will be better for everyone."

Avery, who knew that his sister was always rather boyish, guessed that she just didn't want anything to do with dating and boys until basketball season was over. He didn't get that logic at all, since he already had a girl's number and was planning on calling her later that night, but whatever. If he hadn't read her diary last week during the move, he might have guessed that she was a lesbian. "Alright." Truth be told, he was still uncertain about his sister's wishes, but she had done more than enough for him in the past, so he agreed. "Alright, I promise."

They all looked over at Ike. "Ike?"

Shrugging, he put on a rather indifferent face, but Kyle could tell that it was fake. "Tch, whatever."

"Ike." There was a kind of soapy desperation in Hunter's face. "Please?"

He sighed, "Fine, I promise to keep it from the other guys that I snagged a sweet snatch."

Bursting into a smile, Hunter smiled at the Canadian boy from across the table. "Thank you so much! I'm so glad that my little brother could make a good friend like you!"

Sure, friend... If that's what it took to see that rack again...

So no one gets offended, I try to follow the flow of the source material and keep it as true to tone as I can. Obviously I have a hard time doing that in some instances, hence the mild insults. But I try to do my best while still attempting to remain true. I just want that known.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!

[Edit: 9/14/14 - I considered juggling the time line around a bit, but that might require some major rewrites, so instead I decided to go a different way that (with luck) will only require a heavy face-lift to one or two chapters, not twenty.]