Oh my goodness 200 reviews! I'm so so grateful to everyone who reviews my stories you make me so happy. I never thought that when I started this fanfiction that people would like it so its really reassuring to hear what you have to say :)
Anyway this is the second to last chapter. Yes it makes me sad to finish it but I think this story has gone as far as it can go and I have accomplished everything I wanted to. So enjoy . . .
3 hours and 30 minutes
Claire's POV
"Why is it that the one time I am actually hungry, I am not allowed to eat?" I questioned while groaning.
"The nurses told you to eat last night while you had the chance." Shane reminded me. He was sat on one of the chairs, watching while I put this ridiculous hospital gown on.
"But I wasn't hungry then. I'm hungry now." I whined.
"Claire, you aren't allowed to eat. Full stop."
"Fine." I gave in. "But as soon as I'm through this you are cooking me a massive meal of my choice." I finished adjusting the gown and sat down on Shane's lap.
"Whatever you want." He agreed. He kissed me on the lips, and I could have stayed like that for ages, but Dr Marshel walked.
"Good morning everyo. . . oh, sorry am I interrupting something?" He stuttered as he was stopped dead in his tracks.
Embarrassed I jumped off Shane's lap at such a speed that anyone walking in would be convinced that I didn't have a brain tumour. "Um . . . no we were just. . ."
The doctor laughed. "It's okay Claire. So are you ready for the final tests?"
I sighed. "Yeah I suppose so. Though I can't deny the fact that I'd rather stay here." I looked at Shane, asking him a silent question.
"I'll be here when you get back." He answered. "I'm not going anyway I promise."
I nodded in reply and then began to follow the doctor out of the room. However I was soon stopped by a nurse who was pushing an empty wheelchair.
"Really?" I asked.
"Sorry sweetheart." Nurse Rose replied. "But it's protocol."
I gave in, figuring there was no way around this one. I better get used to this I thought to myself. Because it was going to be a while before I was going to be able to walk again after my operation.
Nurse Rose pushed me down the corridor while singing quietly to herself. I didn't recognise the song, but I found her voice comforting. I hadn't realised how nervous I was until last night when I poured out my soul in front of my friends. I hated the fact that they had to see that, but at the same time it was a blessing. I didn't have to pretend I was okay now. They knew the truth and somehow, among all this chaos, it made everything slightly easier.
oxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox
2 hours and 45 minutes
With all the tests coming back clear, all there was left for me to do was wait.
Unfortunately, waiting was the worst part.
Back before all of this happening, I used to love it when I could get a minute or two to just sit and think for a while. My favourite parts of the day were mornings and night times, because it was the only times I could lay down, undisturbed and just think. It was my meditation. But now I feel like I'd do anything to stop these moments. I have too much to think about, unlike back then. Now all I want is to be distracted so that I don't scare myself with the facts that I know deep inside.
"CB?" I heard Eve call out, sounding confused. I had forgotten that I had moved from my room.
"In here!" I yelled, hoping she would be able to follow my voice. I was fed up with sitting on my bed and doing cross word puzzles, so I had decided to go to the chill out room. I had always like this room because there was a window seat in there that no one seemed to use. So I had claimed it as my own. This was were I was sat now, staring out of the window. Aria and I used to sit here together when we had both been admitted. It was a place of relaxation for us. I loved the comforting feeling that I got whenever the sun shone through the glass and warmed the whole room.
It wasn't sunny today though. It was actually raining, but I didn't mind. I loved to watch the rain just as much as I loved to feel the sun. I would find a rain drop and watch as it slid down the window, sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly. I guess that's just like moments in our lives. It seems to me like the best moments are over quickly but the bad ones go the slowest. Like now. This definitely counts as bad, and it is going to be a long time until it all smooths over. Granted, by tonight hopefully I will be completely clear of tumours, but it is going to be a very slow, very long recovery. I really need to stop complaining about that.
"There you are." Eve came into the room, hands on hips. "I thought you had done a runner."
"I never run away from a fight." I replied, not looking away from the window. I could see her facial expressions soften in the reflection.
"Whats on your mind?" My best friend asked as she came and sat opposite me on the window seat. I shrugged in response.
"I guess I'm just nervous." I admitted. "Tonight I'm either going to be cured or . . ." I trailed off.
"Dead?" Eve finished. My eyes widened. "Because I don't think you will be CB. I have more faith in you than you have in yourself, and I have no doubt in mind that you are going to pull through this and then live the life that you deserve to live."
I didn't know that Eve could be so good at inspirational speeches. "Don't look so shocked." She laughed. "I've been giving it a lot of thought lately as well, and this is the only outcome I can think of."
"Thank you Eve." I replied, leaning forward to hug my friend. I let out a sigh as I felt her hug me back. This was one of those moments that was over too quickly.
When she pulled away I saw Eve blink back tears, trying to act brave. "Anyway." She cleared her throat. "I just thought you might want to come and play cards with us in your room. Michael and Shane are setting it up now."
"What are we playing?" I asked with curiosity. I always have loved a good game of cards.
"Your choice." She replied, winking at me.
"Yay." I giggled, clapping my hands together like a kid in a sweet shop with unlimited money.
This was exactly the distraction I needed.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
1 hour and 15 minutes
10 games of go-fish, 7 games of rummy and 12 games of snap later I looked up at the clock. Not long left now. I felt butterflies in my stomach and I began to breathe deeply, trying to control my nerves.
Shane sensed my uneasiness. "You're okay." he reassured me as he rubbed my arm gently from where he sat next to me.
"Uh huh." I managed to get out. "I know."
"Oh what are you guys playing?" Rose asked enthusiastically as she enter the room with some equipment.
"We aren't playing anymore." Eve said grumpily.
"Oh come on Eve don't be a bad loser!" Michael teased as he poked her hips, making her giggle and gasp. Eve was so ticklish it was unbelievable.
"Well, sorry to interrupt but Claire, I need to quickly take your blood pressure." Nurse Rose said as she made her way towards me.
"No problem." I replied with a small smile. Honestly, I was used to all of this by now.
Rose strapped me up as Shane fiddled with my newly cut hair. These kind of things made him nervous because he was worried they would fine something wrong. But to all of our reliefs everything was normal.
"That's fine sweetheart. How are you feeling today?" She asked, getting out my file, pen ready to take down any notes.
"I'm okay I guess. My head is pounding but I've of gotten used to it my now. My balance is pretty terrible today as well."
Nurse Rose nodded while smiling sympathetically. "Its probably due to the stress of what is happening today. Just think, at least if we do this procedure now there will be a less likely chance of the cancer spreading."
"I know." I replied. Everyone in the room nodded.
"Okay I will leave you guys to finish your game of cards." Before Rose could leave I called out to her.
"Thank you for everything Rose." I said, earning a wide smile.
"Your Welcome Claire. Thank you for being such a good patient." And with that she left.
I looked back up at the clock. Shane noticed me do this and took my hand in his, rubbing his thumb gently over my palm.
"Stop looking Claire. Concentrate on me instead."
"Why you?" Michael challenged jokingly. "Maybe she would like to stare at me!"
"You wish." Eve muttered, still sulking.
I laughed, a proper laugh that came straight from the heart. I momentarily forgot why I was here. . .
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
45 minutes
"They are going to want to start prepping me for theatre soon aren't they?" I asked Michael, who was currently the only one in the room with me. Shane and Eve had gone on a toilet break.
"I would have thought so." Michael said in response, moving the chair he was sat on closer to the bed. "How you holding up?"
"As well as anyone could be expected to be in this situation I think." I replied. I began to fiddle with the sheets again. "I just want it to be over now."
Michael squeeze my shoulder affectionately. "It will be soon."
We sat their in a comfortable silence until Shane and Eve walked back in. Eve was grinning, and Shane was trying to suppress a smile.
"Look who we found wandering the corridors." Shane announced as he stepped aside, allowing two older people to walk in.
"Mum! Dad!" I exclaimed, wanting to jump up and hug them both but not having the energy to do so. Instead they came forward and hugged me at the same time. I was so happy I felt like crying.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, surprised.
"What do you mean?" My mother said, wiping her eyes. "You are our baby and this is a big day for you. We wouldn't let you do this without us. We would never forgive ourselves."
"But dad, are you okay? I thought you were back in hospital!" I still couldn't believe that they were actually here. I just assumed for what ever reason they were not going to get here in time, and I had accepted that. But it wasn't until I actually saw them walk into the room that I realised how much I needed them with me.
"Don't worry about me kiddo." My father replied, ruffling my hair. "I'm doing okay, but today it is all about you."
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shane wink at me as he silently told Michael and Eve to leave, following them out so my parents and I could have some time to myself.
"I'm sorry we weren't here for you through your treatments Claire." My mother said guiltily as she sat on the bed next to me. My father took a seat to the side of us, looking just as exhausted as I felt.
"It okay." I told them. "Its not your fault. Everything just happened at the wrong time." Since when had I become the adult? I suddenly felt very mature.
"Sweetheart we want you to know how proud we are of you." My father leaned closer, taking my hand in his. "Especially since you have had to do this all by yourself."
"Thank you dad, but I wasn't alone. I had my friends with me the whole time. They have been great."
My mother's eyes softened. "As we crossed the boarder, the founder informed of us about what happened to your little friend. Claire we are so sorry sweetie. You must have taken it really hard."
She was talking about Aria. I didn't really like to talk about her that much but then again I guess my parents didn't know that. "Yeah, its been tough, but I'm okay. I've had Shane to look after me."
I felt my father's hand tighten around mine as he tensed. "Yes, Mr Collins."
My parents still didn't fully trust him, but I think he had earned a little more of their respects over the last months.
For the next ten minutes we spent the time catching up, talking about what was going on with me and my dad. Too soon I heard the sound of Nurse Rose's heels as she entered the room.
"Its time to get you prepped Claire." She said with a soft smile. I nodded and said goodbye as they went to go outside and wait with Shane and the others.
"Not long now Claire. Getting nervous?" The nurse asked as she went about her business.
"Yeah." I said shakily. "Its definitely started to dawn on me what is about to happen. It didn't feel real until last night."
"Well, don't you go worrying Sugar, you are in very safe hands."
I clung onto that statement as if my life depended on it.
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
10 minutes
"Okay then Claire, lets get you going shall we?" Doctor Marshal asked as I lay back on the bed.
I nodded, too scared to open mouth.
"Great, I'll give your friends and family a few minutes alone with you and then we will wheel you down to theatre." The doctor left the room and everyone else piled in. My parents came up to me first.
"We will be waiting here for you when you wake up." My mother reassured me. She had informed me earlier that her and dad wouldn't be able to stay long because he had to get back to his hospital, but it was reassuring to know they would be here for a little while longer.
I smiled up at them, sitting up so I could give them both a hug. "I love you both."
"We love you too Claire." My father replied, speaking for both of them as my mother had started crying. They both kissed me once more before they left me with my friends.
"Well." Michael said. "Looks like I didn't need to make that deal with Oliver after all. You are going to be just fine kid."
"Thank you anyway Michael." I said.
"Anytime Claire. Anytime." He leaned down and kissed me on top of my head. I rolled my eyes.
"Come here you." I ordered, pulling him down and allowing him to envelop me in a massive hug. Michael regained his composure and stepped back, letting his wife step forward.
"I love you so much Claire." She whispered, pushing her black hair out of her face and trying not to cry.
"Love you too." I told her, trying not to cry myself.
"See you soon." Michael took my best friend's hand and let her out of the room, leaving me alone with my fiancee.
"Well." He said. "its finally happening."
"Yep." I said. Why did this feel like goodbye?
Shane cleared his throat. "I don't really know what to say." He admitted looking down at his hands.
I chuckled. "Then don't say anything. Just kiss me."
"I'm okay with that." He joked. He was about to come and sit next to me but I stopped him. I wanted to stand up for this.
I looked up into his deep, dark eyes and I could see his pain. He was scared of losing me, and he had every right to be.
"I'm not going to leave you Shane." I said comfortingly. "I've got to marry you first remember?"
"How could I forget?" He whispered and leaned down for a kiss. As our lips touched it felt just liked it was the first time we ever kissed. It felt new, enthusiastic and passionate.
It felt hopeful.
"God I love you Claire, more than you can even begin to imagine." Shane muttered lovingly.
"I know." I replied, looking back up to his eyes. "I love you too Shane. And I'm going to get through this and then we are going to live happily every after."
"I wouldn't have it anyway other way." He said. He kissed me again and then pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back, not wanting this to be the last time. I let a single tear fall down my cheek, but that was it. I refused to cry.
"You ready Claire?" Doctor Marshal appeared in the doorway. I nodded and got back onto the bed, laying down and waiting him to wheel me away. Shane came over and kissed my hand gently.
"Come back to me soon 'kay?" He asked, his voice braking slightly. I smiled and reached up to stroke his cheek affectionately.
"I'll always come back to you. I promise."
His beautiful smile was the last thing I saw before I was wheeled out of the room, and into the unknown . . .
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Shane's POV
That was it. The next time I saw her she was either going to be cancer free, or she was going to be dead.
I collapsed into the chair next to where Claire's bed and been. I rubbed my face with my hands in frustration.
"Hey bro." Michael said, leaning against the doorway. "How you doing?"
I just shrugged. I wasn't sure how I felt. It was weird not having Claire with me. We had been inseparable for so long now and it was strange not being able to be with her now. Apparently there was a room we could go in and see Claire's progress, but we had been advised against it purely because it was quite upsetting for some people.
"Why don't we go down to the cafe?" Eve suggested as she came forward and knelt in front of me. Her eyes were red but she looked more concerned than anything.
"Yeah okay sounds good." I agreed getting up quickly. It was probably best that I kept myself busy during these next few hours. If I didn't I was pretty sure I would go insane.
"Shane are you -"
"I'll be fine Eve, don't worry." I reassured her. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "Come on Gothica, I'm hungry."
That wasn't a total lie. It was nearly lunch time and my stomach was beginning to rumble. But I was pretty sure that I was too nervous to eat.
As we walked down the corridor together I saw Mr and Mrs Danvers sat in the visitor's room talking. When Claire's dad saw me I smiled and waved slightly. I was shocked when he waved back. Maybe his opinion of me was changing.
I kept telling myself that Claire was in safe hands, and that the doctors wouldn't let anything happen to her. But they didn't have full control over everything did they? They might not be able to stop something bad from happening and that might mean that Claire will . . .
. . . No I couldn't think like that. I had to be positive, if not for myself then for Claire. Crying and worrying was not going to help anyone.
"Shane you and Eve go find a table, I'll grab us some food." I nodded in reply to Michael, not really caring. I was too caught up in my own thoughts.
I followed Eve to a table in the corner of the cafe, close to the window. The rain had stopped and now it was just spitting a little. Nothing like bad whether to lighten your spirits! Sarcasm intended.
"You in there?" Eve asked, looking at me with a worried expression plastered all over her face.
"Sorry, just thinking."
"Don't do that you might hurt yourself." She tried to joke. I smiled at her effort to lighten the mood. Suddenly she became very serious and took my hands into her pale ones from where she was sat across the table.
"She is going to be okay Shane." Eve said softly. She could actually be really caring when she wanted to be. She would make an excellent mother one day, and I hope that she got that chance. I knew how happy it would make her if she did manage to conceive.
She hadn't talked about her problems much lately, probably due to everything that was happening with Claire. But I knew Eve, she would put anyone before herself. She was just that kind of person.
"How do you know?" I asked. I was aware that my voice was shaking and I tried everything to keep it under control.
"If anyone can get through this, its our CB. She gotten through so many tough situations, and sure this may be one of the hardest ones, but I don't doubt her. Not for a second." I had to agreed with her on that one. She was right. I had never met anyone as brave as Claire in my life, and I knew that she wouldn't go down without a fight.
Michael came back a little later with a bunch of food. I nibbled at it but I wan't really tasting anything. We sat there for I don't know how long, talking about anything and everything.
Eventually we agreed to go back up to the ward and sit in the relative's room so we could wait on any news. Claire's parents were no longer there, they must have gone for a walk. I was kind of grateful that they weren't there because I really didn't feel like making small talk.
I rubbed my hands together nervously. I was not known for being very patient and today was no different.
I suddenly remembered something. I reached into my pocket and pulled out Claire's engagement ring. She didn't want to risk losing it will she was in surgery so I had agreed to look after it for her. I rubbed my fingers over the silver band, concentrating on the ring. I began to remember the day I had proposed to her, and smiled to myself. That had been a good day.
I looked up at the clock. Claire had been in surgery for two and a half hours, but it had seemed like so much longer.
I prayed to God and her angels that she was okay . . .
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Claire's POV
The grass was greener than I remembered it being when Shane and I had been here last. Maybe that's because I wanted it to be greener. After all, I was in control of what happened in this place, whatever it was.
I had realised earlier that all I had to do was picture a place in my head that it would manifest around me. I had tried out a few places, trying to figure out where it was that I had wanted to be.
Then I remember the place that Shane had taken me a while back.
It was the place he used to go with his mum and Alyssa, the place that he said was now our spot.
I walked forward to the rock we had both sat on and I looked out to the sea in the distance, only this time it looked closer. I breathed in, recognising the sweet smell that surrounded me.
Your heart will always lead you home.
I looked around, trying to figure out where this melodic voice had come from.
You cannot see me child, but I am all around you.
Who was this? I didn't recognise the voice, but I was sure I knew the feeling of the presence that had suddenly surrounded me.
I am not a person child, I am your conscience. Your soul. I am you angel. I am here to protect you, just like you asked me to.
I knew it. It was the same feeling I got whenever I prayed to my angels to protect me and my friends. It was as if all the elements had come together and wrapped themselves around my form.
I believed that I had an angel for every element. And I knew right then that I had been right.
A warm feeling enveloped my heart, and I knew that Fire was present, comforting me with her touch.
I felt the grass beneath my bare feet as Earth grounded me, making sure I did not get lost.
My soul was suddenly cleansed of worry as Water washed away all my fear with her waves of gentleness.
The wind suddenly picked around me, carrying with it the leaves which had fallen from the trees. This was Air's way of telling me I was not alone.
And I could hear Spirit talking to me. Her voice was soft and melodic, allowing me to feel safe.
You have nothing to fear Claire. She spoke. You have had your share of pain. Allow us to remove that from you . . .
And just as she had promised, I felt the weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I felt completely free. I was not in pain anymore, I was no longer worried. I had never felt this way in my entire life. I had never experienced such a feeling of peace and tranquility.
Then the sea in the distance began to look closer and closer. I felt curious. I began to walk toward it as the tide rolled in. Out of no where a set of stone, spiral steps appeared. They spiraled out of the water and kept going until they reached the clouds above me. WhenI looked up I could see a shimmer of gold at the end of the steps high in the sky.
I began to wonder where they led to. Were these the steps to heaven? Did they lead to a better place?
I took a couple of slow steps forward, my dress blowing in the wind. It wasn't until then that I realised what I was wearing. It was a long, lilac coloured dressed which flowed down and stopped just above my ankles. It was simple, but it was beautiful.
The elements continued to comfort and strengthen me as I took another step forward. I had reached the the edge of the sea front now and I could feel the water on my toes. I looked down and saw it was a sparkling turquoise colour. It was clean and warm, nothing like the seas that you would find in the real world.
I took in a deep breath and looked up at the stone steps once again. Maybe it was time for me to climb them, maybe I was supposed to find out what was at the top.
Just when I was about to step forward again, I heard another voice. But this time it wasn't Spirit's voice.
"Claire."
I knew whose voice it was, and I was scared that if I turned around he would disappear.
"Claire."
I couldn't not look. I took the chance and spun around on the spot. I found myself face to face with a boy, no a man, and his body was surrounded by a golden aura.
"Shane." I whispered.
"Yes, my love." When he spoke his mouth did not move, but it was definitely his voice. He smiled at me and I smiled back.
"How are you here?" I asked. I was so happy to see him, but I was also confused. Shane wasn't meant to be here, I thought it was just me.
"This is our spot right?" He replied, still smiling.
"Yes. Yes it is." I couldn't get over how beautiful he looked. His golden aura was so bright I should have been squinting, but for some reason I didn't need to.
"Lets go home Claire." My finacee said.
I frowned. Wasn't I supposed to climb up the stairs? Wasn't I supposed to find out what was at the top?
I looked over my shoulder and was surprised to see the the stone steps were slowly fading, and the turquoise water was getting further and further away.
"Its not your time Claire." I looked back at Shane, who held out his hand to me. "Take my hand and lets go home."
I hesitated. What if this was some kind of trick? But then I remember who it was that was stood in front of me. I trusted Shane with my life, and even though I knew this could not possibly be the real Shane, I trusted him to keep me safe just as much.
I reached out my hand and as our fingers touch I was blasted with warmth. When I looked down at myself my eyes widened. I was surrounded with the same golden aura that surrounded Shane, and I felt so powerful. I didn't feel like I had a brain tumour anymore.
I looked down at mine and Shane's hands, both golden and entwined with each other. Once again I saw Shane's smiling face above me, his dark eyes searching into mine.
"Lets go."
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
"Claire? Claire can you hear me?"
It was Shane's voice again. But this time it sounded like his real voice. I squeezed my hands together to see if I was awake or not. Sure enough I was, and I wrapped my fingures around something. A hand?
"That's it Claire." I heard another male voice say. Michael's I think. No wait it was the doctor's.
"Try and open your eyes for us Claire." That was Michael.
I eyes felt like they were stuck together, but I used all of my energy to open them. I blinked a few times until everything came back into focus.
I felt terrible. My head was pounding and I was aching all over. I didn't even think that I had the energy to moved.
But somehow I knew feeling like this was a good thing. I had been told on several ocassions that it was not uncommon at first to feel worse than I did before the surgery. I could tick that box.
"Oh thank God." Someone said next to me. I wanted to move and look in his direction but I couldn't.
So instead Shane got up and moved so me was hovering over me. I must of looked terrible but from his happy, relieved facial expression I could tell that he didn't care.
"Shane." I whispered.
"You're okay." He told me with a smile. "Everything went fine." He leaned down and kissed my forehead gently. "You're okay."
I realised that I was holding Eve's hand. She was stood next to me on the other side of the bed, tears of happiness in her eyes.
"Welcome back CB." She said.
I could hear the sound of my mother and father in the room, though they were out of my line of vision so I couldnt see them. Michael and the doctor were also here.
"Congratulations Claire." Dr Marshal said as he came forward to stand next to me. Then he said the words that I had been waiting to here for a very long time.
"You are officially free from cancer."
So what do you think?
The next chapter is going to be the last one but I'm going to make it really long. It might take a few weeks to write though, but don't worry I will try and update as soon as I can.
Thank you once again to all of you who read and review my story xx I really appreciate it :)