Chapter 13
The truth
Kyle's POV
I go home and on my way I pick up groceries since I have the van. After lunch I go and take a look at the house I want to rent, it has a perfect location and seems big enough. I should know if I get a grant next week. After that I hit the gym for a couple of hours, it is important to keep up with training for my health.
I am sitting at home eating dinner and I have this nagging feeling that has not left me since Brian Jr. mentioned Grannie Gracie. I wonder who could she be? Is she the mother of their father? Then why hasn't Jessi mentioned the twin's father?
I keep thinking about Grannie Gracie up to the time I go to bed. My sleep is uneasy. I find myself in a nightmare. Jessi and I are at the Trager's, it is midnight and I hear Jessi crying in the bathroom. I ignore it and think she will get over me breaking up with her. Then I put a pillow over my head. Then a part that I do not remember comes in to my dream, Jessi is throwing up, we last made love 5 weeks ago. Then Jessi is gone. I wake up from my nightmare screaming Jessi's name and in a sweat.
I sit up in my tub, my heart is racing. I know the last part of my dream is important, the why still escapes me. Then the images of the twins come in to my head, their deep blue eyes, like mine? The crooked smile of Brian, I have seen it before, on my face? The nose of Sarah, does it look like mine? I start breathing harder and perspiring. Could it be? I have to know. I grab my cell phone and dial a number. I get a voice mail and hear you have reached the voice mail of Grace Kingsley please leave a message after the tone.
I feel that time stops, I make some quick calculations in my head, I break down crying. The twins… Jessi. Jessi, I abandoned her when she was pregnant with our children. Our children: Brian and Sarah. I abandoned my children. I abandoned Jessi when she needed me the most. A guttural scream comes out of my mouth. I grab my head and collapse in my tub shaking.
I don't know how much time has pass. I hear the voice of Jessi saying Kyle, Kyle, what is wrong? She is tenderly caressing my cheek. I put my hand over hers and then remember how unworthy I am of her. I start begging for forgiveness.
Jessi's POV
I wake up to a dull pain in the pit of my stomach. I am aware it is not mine, I rapidly get out of bed and go and check on my children. I find the children resting peacefully. I go back to bed and try to ignore the pain. At 5:00 am I cannot ignore it any longer, I dial Kyle's phone number. I get his voice mail. I leave a message asking him to call me.
After dropping the kids at school I head to Harvard to teach my class. When I finish the class, I try calling Kyle again. He has never missed my morning class. When I get his voice mail, I decide to go and check on him. There is definitely something wrong with Kyle, I can feel it. I am glad he texted me his address.
I get to the door of Kyle's apartment and knock at the door, there is no doorbell. After knocking a few times and getting no answer, I tune out everything and search for Kyle's heartbeat. I find it, it is going too fast. I know Kyle is in pain, I must help him. I place my hand over the lock and open it.
I step in to Kyle's efficiency. I am shocked at how plain and small it is. I cannot help to notice that Kyle has an old picture I painted for him of both of us together. We were so young. Hanging next to it is a panting that Kyle made of me years ago. Then I see a newer one that includes me and the twins at the beach. He also has a small picture of the Trager family that includes me.
I walk in to Kyle's bathroom and find him in his tub. He is soaked in sweat and has thick drops of sweat on his forehead. I gently touch his cheek, and find he is burning hot. I call his name. He starts mumbling something and then tries to get out of his tub and collapses at my feet crying. I can hear him say Jessi I am so sorry. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I beg you for it. I kneel on the floor with him and take him in my arms.
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