Chapter 15

The Cabin

Jessi's POV

The weekend is coming and I am at my lab at the drug company. Roger approaches me, and says, Jessi are we still on for that movie tomorrow? I feel guilty I completely forgot and have already made plans with Kyle. I say, Roger let's go for lunch. We drive to a small classy restaurant that affords a lot of privacy.

After ordering, I start, Roger, you know that Kyle is the father or Sarah and Brian. Roger looks at me with a sad expression and says, I remember you telling me. Then he looks at me waiting for me to continue. I say, He finally figured it out Roger, and he wants to take full responsibility in the upbringing of Brian and Sarah. I would like to take the weekend to work things out with the children and Kyle. It does not mean that I have decided to take Kyle back. It just means that I think is the right thing to do for Brian and Sarah, you know to have their father involved in their lives.

Roger looks at me with his amazing dark brown eyes and tells me, I understand Jessi, it is important for Brian and Sarah to have their father in their lives. I just want you to know that I am still here for you Jessi.

I look at Roger ad find it hard to read his expression, I say Thanks Roger I know.

We talk about the lab after lunch comes out.

After work I go and pick Sarah and Brian up. I tell them we are spending the weekend at a cabin by the beach with Kyle. They seem excited. I have already packed and have the things in the minivan. We pick Kyle up at the center that he is hoping to open next month. He is working on remodeling it.

He gets in the minivan he kisses my cheek then says, hi Jessi. I say hey Kyle. Then he turns around and say's, Hi Sarah, Hi Brian. Sarah looks at him and tells him, hey Kyle, are you helping us to build sand castles? Brian say's yes Kyle are you? That sounds like a lot of fun of course I will help you to build sand castles. Kyle responds with a smile, the children smile back at him.

On the way to the cabin we stop to eat, the children insist on stopping at Mc. Donald's they want to use the play area. I get myself a salad, yogurt and a strawberry milk shake. Kyle gets a hamburger with large fries and orange juice. The children of course get happy meals with chicken nuggets.

Sarah and Brian immediately run to the play area leaving Kyle and me at the table. I observe Kyle he is looking at our children with tenderness and love. I also see pain on his expression it seems to me that Kyle always has an undertone of pain, I remember when he was happy and carefree, I hope someday the pain will leave him.

We get to the cabin when it is dark, as we stopped and bought groceries. Brian and Sarah are a sleep. Kyle carries Brian in to the cabin and I carry Sarah. After getting them in bed, Kyle insist on getting the things from the minivan, I let him and work on putting the groceries away.

I tell Kyle, let's sit on the porch and listen to the sound of the waves we can also drink some wine to relax. That sounds like fun Jessi, let me get the wine. He tells me as he winks.

We sit at a double swing bench that is on the porch, after a while I put my head on Kyle's shoulder, and he wraps an arm around me. We look at the moon and listen to the waves while we drink a glass of wine. After a while both of us relax. Kyle kisses my temple and says, Jessi I am a nervous about how the kids are going to take it. I tell him, don't worry Kyle they have your big heart, and are very young. As long as you do a good job as a dad from now on I think you will have no trouble gaining their love and their trust. Look at me and Brian, and we had an even worse beginning.

Kyle kisses my hands and says, Jessi would you tell me more about them? More about you. I look at Kyle and he has a hopeful expression on his face and begging eyes. I tell him, where would you like me to start Kyle?

Kyle looks at me and say's if it is not too much to ask would you start when you found out you were expecting. That is only if it is not too much for you.

Kyle's POV

I am feeling anxious. Jessi is going to pick me up to go to a cabin that I rented for the weekend. Jessi and I talked about the best way of telling the children that I am their father, and we thought a neutral place would be best.

As we drive to the cabin I think about how much of the life of my children I have missed. It hurts more that I can explain. I am scared of how they will react; they certainly have a right to be angry at me that is not what worries me. What really worries me is finding out how much damage I have caused in their development. I hope somehow I will able to make it up to them.

When we get to the cabin Brian and Sarah are fast asleep. Jessi and I take them to their beds, they look so peaceful and happy, and I enjoy so much tucking them in. Jessi is definitely a great mother, the children are so happy and healthy because of her, I will never be able to repay her for that, all I can do is to do my fare share from now on.

After tucking the children in, Jessi and I go to sit on the porch. I just enjoy her company so much. I cannot believe how much better I feel when am with her. I hope she enjoys my company too. We start talking and I ask Jessi to tell me more about the children to tell me more about her. I have missed 8 years of Jessi's life, and I just want to know all about her and the children.

Jessi is looking at me with her beautiful hazel eyes then she tells me, Kyle I have a better idea let me show you. She puts her head on my shoulder and I hug her tightly with both arms. Then I find myself in Jessi's mind. I am hugging Jessi and we both are looking at her memories.

I see a much younger version of myself and Jessi. I am in Jessi's room at the Tager's and we are making love, everything is perfect. I am telling Jessi how much I love her and promise her that we will always be together, that I will never leave her.

Then we go to that night in the movie theater, Jessi goes to get a refill of popcorn but never comes back. After a few minutes I sense she is I danger and she sends me a desperate message, Kyle help me! I run out of the movie theater and drive towards the place where I sense her. I finally catch up with a car and realize is Cassidy's car. I call Tom and Declan and they come to help me. We manage to get Cassidy to stop by the forest.

I desperately search for Jessi in the car and find her in the trunk unconscious, beaten up and she has her feet and hands tied. Something in me snaps I walk towards Cassidy and in one single move I break his neck. He dies instantaneously. I did not know Jessi had been so aware then. Jessi tells me, I was pregnant then, you saved me and our children. She has a few tears running down her cheeks that I wipe.

Then we got to that terrible afternoon. Jessi is in her bedroom crying after Nicole told her she would have to move out after graduation. I come in to the room and Jessi looks at me with hopeful eyes. When I don't come to her she stands up and tries to hug me I push her away. Then I tell her, Jessica I don't want anything to do with you I am going back with Amanda, Nicole does not like for us to be together and she is right. I think I only felt sorry for you. I am not going to let you destroy me. I see how Jessi collapses in the bed, she is so shocked she cannot even cry. She timidly asks me, Kyle can we still be friends? The younger me tells her, No, I don't even want to talk to you, just stay away from me.

I hate myself so much, why did I do something like that to Jessi? Why did I lie to myself? How could I have ever blamed Jessi for me killing Cassidy? I am shaking and crying uncontrollably. Jessi is hugging me and says, that day Kyle I was going to tell you that my period was late, I never got a chance. I say Jessi I am so sorry. I was an ass. I wish I could beat myself up for treating you like that. She looks at me with sad eyes and says, calm down Kyle, I think you already did. I kiss her forehead and wonder what she means.

Then we go forward 2 weeks. Jessi looks pale she has barely eaten anything in the past 2 weeks and has spent all her time in her room crying. I still remember how hard it was not to run to her and take care of her. I wish I would have. I wish I would have realized that my heart was breaking and that it would stay broken and beyond repair. She is walking up the stairs supporting herself on the wall.

She finally gets to the bathroom and starts throwing up. Then she takes a pregnancy test. She goes back to her room, and jumps out her window taking nothing with her other than Sarah's ring. She is never to come back. I ask her, Jessi, why did you leave that night?

She looks at me with tears running down her cheeks and tells me, Kyle don't you remember how much I loved you. I was not going to force you to be with me just because I was pregnant. I was not about to force you to be a father. I did not want your pity. I also did not want to cause you any problems. I wanted you to be happy, and when I left I let you go. Since then I have only wished your happiness, I thought you had found it with Amanda.

I take Jessi back to my memories of that period. I showed her how Amanda asked me to give our relationship another chance, and like an idiot I agreed. I showed her how hard it was to stay away from her, and how I cried myself to sleep each night. How each day I was too much of a coward to ask her back. How I dreamed of both of us running away together. How I wanted to run after her the night she left, but stop thinking she would be back soon. By the time I tried to find her it was too late, I could not sense her anymore. I showed her how I spent that day crying on the floor of the forest, after I realized I would not find her, after I realized she had close herself to me. I showed her how my soul was injured and my heart broken.

Jessi looks at me with surprised eyes and says, Kyle I had no idea you went looking for me. Why were you looking for me?

Jessi how could I not, I loved you and I love you so much, that being away from you for even a couple of hours brought me to my senses. I ran desperately trying to find you, ready to beg you for forgiveness, ready to run away with you if that is what you wanted. I was ready to face my family and tell them the truth, ready to stand by your side and support you. But it was too late, I was too late. I have paid the price of my betrayal each day since then and I deserve it. I showed Jessi everything I did to try to find her not just that night or the next day, but for the next year. Then I told her I stop as I realized you did not want me to find you. After that my only wish has been your happiness.

Jessi brought me out of our thoughts. Then she hugged me, kissed me and told me Oh! Kyle, so many years of misery, to think they could have been avoided if I had not closed myself to you so fast and so completely. I had no idea, I was just hurting so much, that I was blind to your pain. I could not see it.

I hugged her and told her, Jessi, Jessi, I just love you so much Jessi, for me the misery will not end until I earn your trust, until I have your love…

Then we went back in to Jessi's memories. She showed me how happy she was when her pregnancy started showing and how her relationship with Brian improved after that. She showed me the day of the delivery, she had Brian and a Doula by her side, it took her less than 2 hours from beginning to end. Then I saw her looking at our children for the first time, I saw her kissing them and breastfeeding them. I saw how much she loved them. Then we left her memories again. I had tears in my eyes.

As I was holding Jessi she whispered in to my ear, Kyle I was so happy when I was pregnant, because it was not just the child of any man I was carrying, I was carrying your child Kyle, and to me that meant everything. Then after our babies were born I could see so much of you in them that it has been like having a part of you with me, a part that I knew I would never lose. They have brought so much happiness in to my life, more than I ever thought possible. Every time I see them Kyle, I think about you and thank you for giving me such a beautiful present.

I take Jessi's hands and kiss them then I tell her, Jessi knowing that you have been happy gives me peace. I always prayed and wished you to be happy.

Thanks to Mc aj, papajim21, and remma500 for the reviews and suggestions. Please review it means a lot to me and it keeps me going.