Well...it's a little bit later and shorter than I wanted, and for that I apologize. Once again, real life has reared its ugly head interfered with my fan fiction life. Right now, real life is not being good to me, and it's beginning to take its toll on me. This chapter was a difficult one, and I hope it's up to standard.

Let's get down to business: Twilight, it's characters and its situations do not belong to me. They are the property of Stephenie Meyer, who I really wish would forget people like Bree Tanner and finish Midnight Sun already so we can have our Edward..because, in the end, it is all about Edward, you know ;)

Please enjoy...

Chapter 33: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Bella leaned back on the sofa and sighed contentedly, a jumble of ripped wrapping paper and opened boxes strewn about the living room floor. She hummed along to the sounds of Nat King Cole crooning about roasting chestnuts and Jack Frost nipping at noses.

Charlie slipped his empty plate onto the coffee table and burped loudly.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Dad."

"Excuse me," he laughed, the tips of his moustache twitching upward. "That was a great breakfast, Bells. Good idea eating it in here in front of your beautiful tree."

"And in the middle of this sea of decadence," she pointed at the pile of red and green glistening paper in the middle of the room. "Really, Dad, you spent entirely too much on me."

"Nah, it was the first real chance I've had to have a Christmas with you, Bells. I wanted to make up for lost time."

"Seriously, the new Hello Kitty pajamas and the earrings were enough, Dad. But I do really do love my new Forks PD sweatshirt," she smiled at him.

"Does that mean I'll get mine back?"

"Not a chance in hell, dude," she giggled.

"Aw, come on. I got you those Hot Topic gift cards," Charlie teased.

"And I appreciate them," she stood up, picking up her dish as she did. "Did you like your gifts?"

"I did indeed. I needed new socks."

"Socks that aren't, you know, red," she picked up his plate and shuffled into the kitchen. "By the way, thanks for the Hello Kitty slippers. Totally match my new jammies," she held her Kitty clad foot out for him to see.

"Nice foot. You got something against red socks?"

"Not particularly, but they shouldn't be worn with a police uniform." Charlie heard her turn the water in the sink on as she rinsed off the breakfast dishes.

"I wear boots. No one sees them."

"Or so you think," she walked back into the living room with the coffee pot, refilling both of their mugs.

"Really? You can see them," he stared at her in disbelief.

"They drive Alice crazy, Dad."

"Oh…I…I didn't know," he sipped his hot coffee.

"And you know Alice," she giggled, thinking about her fashion conscious friend.

"Will she approve of what I got you," he asked with caution as he put the coffee mug back on the table.

"Well, you got me the same earrings I got her, so yeah, she'll like those," she sat back down on the sofa, grabbing her coffee as she did. "Jesus, I ate too much," she patted her stomach. "But she hates your old sweatshirt, so I doubt she'll like this new one any better," she made a slurping sound as she sipped her hot coffee.

"And my plaid shirts?"

"She'll hate them as much as she hates the ones you already have," Bella laughed. It was funny how her father feared offending little Alice Cullen. "Seriously, Dad, don't be afraid of Alice. You're the one with the gun."

"Yeah," Charlie laughed. "I guess her keen eye makes me self conscious. All these years, I dressed for myself. Now, I have teenage girls staring at me and I know you both think I'm tacky," he grabbed his coffee cup and took a big gulp from it.

"You're a guy," she leaned over and patted her father's knee. "A dad. We expect you to be tacky."

"Gee thanks," he rolled his eyes. "So, did I do good with the tickets?"

"Did you do good? Dad, that Muse show has been sold out for a month! How you managed to get tickets alone is beyond me! But to get the seats you got? I am in total awe of you!"

"I told you. Cops have their ways," he smiled at her. It pleased him that he'd been able to get her those tickets, regardless of how much he had paid over the actual face value of the ticket. Of course, he had bought them before everything with Edward had gone south. "So, I figured what we could do the night of the show is—"

Bella cut him off.

"We? What do you mean by 'we'," she looked at him with a worried face. Was Charlie planning on going to the concert with her?

"Well, I mean the show's in Seattle. I'm not going to let you and whoever you go with~and I'm assuming it's going to be Alice~drive all the way down there alone and then drive home after. And you aren't going to get a hotel room alone in a big city like that, so don't even think of going there. I figured the three of us would drive down earlier that day, we'd get rooms for the night and I'd drop you off at the arena for the show. Then when the show was over, you'd call me and I'd come get you and the next morning we'd drive back home."

"You don't have to do that, Dad. I'm seventeen. I can handle myself," she sipped her coffee again.

"I have no doubts that you can handle yourself, Bells," he shook his head. "But I also have no intention of letting you go to a big concert in Seattle alone."

She huffed and rolled her eyes, gripping her warm coffee mug with both hands.

"There's not even any question about this, Bells, so let's not argue, ok?"

"I'm not going to argue, Dad, but I don't see the need for you to waste your time doing this. What are you going to do? Sit in the hotel room watching tv while we're at the show?"

"Sure, why not," he took another gulp of his coffee.

"What kind of a night is that going to be for you," she looked at her father. "I'm off enjoying myself and you're watching tv alone in a hotel room."

"I'll pick a place with room service," he set his mug back down on the coffee table. "It's what parents do, Bells. We do things for our kids and we do it because we want to," he smiled at her warmly. "I've never had the opportunity to do things like this for you, so, think of it as part of my Christmas gift from you, ok?"

She sighed, knowing this wasn't an argument she was going to win. "Well, ok…as long as you're ok with it." Renee would never have been ok with doing something like that for her, she knew, which made Charlie all the more endearing to her.

"I wouldn't have bought the tickets if I wasn't ok with it," he smiled as he stood up and stretched. "I'm going to clean up in here and then go shower and dress. Billy and Jake will be here around noon, so we better get a move on."

She hopped up off the sofa, grabbing his now empty coffee cup from him on her way into the kitchen. "I'm going to preheat the oven. I have to put the lasagna in, and then there are the appetizers."

"Mmm…meat. I can't wait to eat meat in my own home again," Charlie smiled.

"You and your meat," Bella walked back into the living room, throwing her arms around her father. "Thanks for a great Christmas, Dad."

Charlie hugged her tightly. "And thank you for the best Christmas in years, Bells. It's great to have you back."

"It's great to be back," she smiled up at her father.

"Let me get a trash bag to clean up this mess," he went into the kitchen, opening a cabinet and pulling out a black trash bag.

"Yeah, we should clean this up first, huh," she put her hands on her hips, taking in the mess they had made. "Two people. You'd think there were a dozen kids here."

"Amazing isn't it," he bent down and began shoving the sparkling paper into the bag.

"How did paper end up under the tree?" Bella knelt down in front of the huge tree, reaching under it for a rogue wrapping. "You must have gotten a little over exuberant, Dad." Standing up, something in the tree caught her eye. She reached her arm in, careful not to disturb the decorations that she and Alice had placed just so, and pulled out a small box from deep within the branches. I was wrapped in the same colors as the tree~shimmering lime green paper with pink and black feathers festooning the top.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yeah?" Charlie slowly stood up from where he was bending over to pull up tape that had stuck to the living room rug , straightening his back with a slight grunt and a deep breath.

"What's this?" She held the box up.

"I…I have no idea. Where'd you find it," he looked at her, confused.

"It was like, right here," she motioned to the middle of the tree. "In the branches, toward the back."

"No idea," he shook his head. "I've never seen it before, but…isn't that the paper Alice used?"

"You know, you're right. I guess she put it in there," she shrugged. "Maybe I should call her?"

"I think that, if Alice put it there, it was meant to be there…for you to find later…"

"Edward, what are you doing in here?"

The sound of his mother's soft voice in the dimly lit pre-dawn kitchen startled him. He jumped, spilling coffee grinds onto the pristine counter.

"Ma-mom," he scrambled to catch the coffee scoop he'd dropped before it bounced off the counter and onto the floor. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep," she sighed, moving slowly over to the breakfast nook. She pulled out a chair and sat down, carefully drawing her red satin robe tightly around herself. She looked at her son and smiled. "You're wearing the Christmas pajamas Alice brought for you."

He looked down at his legs, clad in red flannel fabric imprinted with jolly little Santa's dancing with Rudolph's. "Yeah," he sighed. "Like I had a choice." He pushed the sleeves of the gray thermal Henley he wore up and filled the coffee pot with water. He wondered what his mother could possibly want from him at this ungodly hour. Perhaps she wanted him to go up on the roof and stomp around like the jolly old elf himself.

"Edward," she called him again as he slid the coffee basket into the old electric percolator and popped the top on. "Come sit with me, please."

"Yes, ma'am," he plugged in the pot and it immediately began to make noise. Head down, he obediently made his way over to where she sat, pulling out the chair across from her and sitting down cautiously with his eyes cast downward.

"Edward, look at me," Esme's voice was gentle. "Please."

He looked up at his mother, noticing dark circles under her eyes and lines around them. He'd never noticed them before.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she reached out and took his hands in hers, locking her blue eyes onto his green ones. "I'm so sorry for the way I've been treating you."

"It's ok, Mom," he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat down. "I deserve the punishment."

"The punishment, yes," she sighed. "But the treatment from me? No, you don't deserve that. Not at all."

"It's ok. I understand," he whispered.

"No, I don't think that you do. I didn't even understand why I reacted the way I did until I spoke with your father about it," she closed her eyes, shaking her head slightly. "You see, Edward, you…you are my ideal. My…perfect boy," she smiled at him sadly.

"Mom, I'm not perfect," he protested.

"I know that, Edward," she closed her eyes, smiling in spite of herself. "None of us are. But, you…you have to understand where I'm coming from, how I feel about you. You, above the others…you are…my own child," she whispered as she opened her eyes and looked at him lovingly. "I've had you the longest, had the most influence in how you were raised, because I raised you. You were so young when you came to me. The others…well, aside from Alice, the others were already who they are by the time they came to be with us. But you…you were this tiny, beautiful, frightened little boy. This…this bronze haired angel who came to answer my prayers," a tear slid down her cheek. "You were~you are my child."

Edward swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat down. He could feel the tears stinging at his eyes and blinked rapidly, wishing them away. He understood what she was trying to convey to him, because it was something he had felt for so long, something he had always known. If he was her child, then she was his mother. Damn the others, he alone was hers, and she was his…his mother, not theirs.

"And when my child does something that goes against every lesson that I've ever taught him, every sense of right and wrong that I've tried to instill in him…I…I was so hurt, Edward…" she looked away, unable to keep the tears at bay, and tightened her grip on his hands. "You knew how I felt about drug abuse…how it killed your biological parents…and…and yet," she looked back at him, her blue eyes adrift in a sea of tears. "Yet you went ahead and used them anyway, just like your real mother. And just like her, I too was a failure."

"I'm so sorry Mom," a strangled sob came from his throat. "You're not a failure. I don't know why I did it, but I swear I'll never do it again."

"My dear, sweet boy," she cupped his cheeks in her hands, wiping his tears away with her thumbs. "Don't you see, it isn't only me that you hurt when you do something like this. It's yourself, and now...now you have Alec. Do you want your child to lose his father the same way you lost yours?"

He cried quietly, understanding what his mother was saying. No one becomes an addict by choice, but it's a single choice that can turn you into one.

"The choice is yours, darling…but remember…your real mother and father never considered you when they made their choices. You know what that feels like…so, please…consider Alec when you make your choices. It's not just about you anymore."

"I promise, Mom. I will," he fell into his mother's arms, hugging her tightly and crying quietly as she cradled him closely against her chest. Relief filled him. His mother still loved him…and he was hers.

"It's ok, baby. We all make mistakes. I made one in how I treated you for making your own mistake," she cooed as she rubbed his heaving back.

"Mom," he sniffled into her robe when the sobs had finally subsided. "I'm so scared."

"Scared of what, sweetie?"

"Everything. I'm just…scared. And I've never felt this way before."

"It's ok to be scared, Edward," she pulled his face away from her shoulder, wiping his tears stained face with the sleeve of her robe.

"But…I have all this stuff, this…responsibility. And I just keep fucking up…I mean," he closed his eyes and took a shaky deep breath. "I'm sorry. I keep messing up."

"What did you mess up?"

He slid down from his mother and sat on the floor, pulling his knees to his chest as he rested his cheek against her leg. Soothingly, she ran her fingers through his tangled copper tresses.

"Everything. All the important things. I messed up things with you, with Bella. I don't want to mess things up with Alec, and I'm so terrified that I will."

"Sweetie, you can't think like that. Alec is the most important thing in the world, but you can't run scared," she let out a soft laugh. "You really need to get up off that cold floor, Edward. I'm petting you like a dog."

He laughed quietly as he pulled himself from the floor and back onto his chair, pulling it closer to his mother.

"How did you do it, Mom? How did you and Dad…how…how were you…," he

couldn't find the right words.

"How did we deal with the challenge of being parents?"

"Yeah," his voice was quiet.

"Well…," she thought for a moment. "There really isn't any way to deal with it, Edward. It's something you just do…because you have to. There's no users manual or Idiots Guide to parenting, sweetie. You just have to do what you think is right, and hope for the best."

He nodded. "I screwed up big. I know that," he shook his head. "I want to be a better person…for Alec. For you and Dad. And for Bella, even if she never wants to see me again."

"Edward," she reached up and brushed the hair that was falling into his eyes away. "The most important thing is that you want to be a better person for yourself. Once you do that, everything else will fall into place."

"I hope I can do it," he sighed. "Do you think that I can?"

"Sweetie, I know you can do it."

The sun was coming up, reflecting red, orange and gold off of the frozen ice outside the bayed window surrounding them.

"I guess I better go turn the lights on the tree on. Alice will probably be up in a few minutes and who wants to hear her," Edward stood up and stretched. "Mom?"

"Yes baby?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Edward."

As if on cue, the thundering of footsteps pounding on the grand staircase echoed around them.

"That would be Alice," Esme laughed as she stood slowly. A distant sing song chorus of "It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" wafted into the kitchen over the sound of the percolator.

"I guess we'd better get inside before she has to wait five whole minutes and has a fit," Edward smiled.

"We better. Who wants to listen to her rant about how we made her wait and ruined her Christmas," Esme smiled as she looped her arm through Edward's and together they strolled slowly from the kitchen.

"I told you he loved you," Charlie didn't bother looking up from the newspaper he was reading, so she couldn't see the huge grin that lit his face up.

Bella puttered around the kitchen, distracted and forgetful, her mind on the small box she'd unwrapped earlier. It had been for her, had been stashed deep inside the tree for her to find by Alice on purpose. Why it had to be hidden away like that was beyond her, but she'd found it, and she'd unwrapped it.

It hadn't been from Alice at all.

It had been from Edward.

"Did you put it on?"

"No, I didn't put it on, Dad," she opened the freezer and closed it, scratching her head absently. "What was I doing?"

"You were going to put the appetizers in the pan over there," Charlie lowered the newspaper and nodded toward the counter where a box of the frozen appetizers that Alice had found so delightful sat. "Did you read the note?" When she had unwrapped and opened the small box, a tiny piece of folded notebook paper bearing Edward's elegant, almost feminine script had gently floated out of it. Bella had snatched it from the floor before her father could move to bend over to pick it up for her, and had tucked it back into the box, mumbling how she would read it when she was alone.

"Oh…the note…yeah...," she absently wandered back to the counter and picked up the large, still frozen box. "I…I read it," she tore the box open mindlessly. "Ah, crap…I ripped the directions."

"Isn't there another box in the freezer?"

"There's two. The three of you eat almost as much as Alice," she mumbled as she opened the freezer door. She pulled out a box and read the directions, shoving it back into the freezer before she walked back to the counter, where she began to spread the frozen bundles of meat onto the baking sheets lined with parchment paper.

"Um…forget something?"

Bella looked up at her father. "What?"

Charlie nodded toward the freezer. Bella turned, and sighed when she saw the freezer door wide open. Scowling, she slammed it shut.

"Just…just stop distracting me, Dad! Go back to reading your damn paper."

"I didn't distract you," he leaned back in his chair, rattling the newspaper as he turned to the next page. "I just wondered if you had read the note. If you want to blame anyone for distracting you, blame Edward and whatever it was he wrote in the note," he lifted the paper and buried his nose back into it.

"It won't work, Swan," she shook her head, deftly setting the frozen treats onto the baking sheet, having had plenty of practice at Jessica's party. "I'm not telling you what he wrote in the note."

"I'm not asking what the note said, Bells," he lowered the paper and leveled a look at her. "All I asked was if you were wearing the bracelet and if you read the note."

"You can see I'm not wearing it."

"You're shirt sleeves come down to your hands, so how can I see?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she put the appetizers into the ancient wall oven and set a timer on the counter.

"I will admit that I'm pretty curious as to what he had to say, though."

"Well, it's none of your business," she shoved the empty box into the trash can and wiped down the counter where she had been working.

"I know, but I'm sure once he's back, Edward will tell me himself."

"Dad~" the ringing doorbell cut her off. "Not a word about the gift to Billy or Jake, do you hear me," she wiped her hands on a dishtowel and headed to the front door.

"They won't hear it from me," he mumbled with an amused smirk on his face as he stood up, folding the newspaper.

Dinner with the Blacks was a welcome distraction for Bella. They talked and laughed, acting like a real family. And when dinner was done, and Charlie and Billy sat in the living room, watching a football game on the flat screen, Jacob helped Bella do the dishes.

"So, what was the best gift you got," Jacob took the large pot that Bella handed him to dry.

"Oh, Dad gave me tickets so Alice and I could go see Muse."

"Muse?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded a she scrubbed the Pyrex dish she'd baked the lasagna in. The biggest baking dish she had, and all the lasagna was gone, thanks to Jake.

"Where are they playing?"

"Seattle."

"So…you're going to Seattle with your ex-boyfriend's sister?"

Bella stopped scrubbing the dish and turned to glare at him. "No, Jake. I'm going to Seattle with my friend."

"You sure about that, Bells," he smirked.

"Yeah, I am," she glared.

"Uh huh," he set the now dried pot down on the counter in front of him.

"And just what does that 'uh huh' mean?"

"Why are you getting so defensive?"

"You haven't seen defensive yet, mister."

Jacob laughed to himself and shook his head. "Don't you see, Bells? You're hanging on to Alice as a way to hang on to him."

"Him?" She could feel her lips curling up into a snarl.

"Weird Cullen."

"He has a name, Jacob," she closed her eyes. Now it was her turn to shake her head. "And, not that it's any of your business, but Alice and I were friends long before things between Edward and I went South," she directed her attention to the still crusty Pyrex in the sink, taking her anger at Jake out on it.

"If you insist," he smirked.

"It's a fact. You can ask her yourself."

"Please tell me that pixie demon from hell isn't coming over here today," he rolled his eyes.

"Not today," she scrubbed the baked on cheese with all of her strength.

"That's right. She went to wherever it is Weirdo~I mean Edward is, with his kid."

She whirled and yanked the dish towel out of his hand with such force, he jumped from shock. "Ok, that's it. Inside with the others," she flipped the towel over her shoulder and pointed toward the living room.

"But Bells~"

"No buts. I've had it with you insulting Edward. You don't know him. You don't have the right to pass judgment on him. Now out!"

Jacob's broad shoulders slumped and he shuffled slowly from the kitchen to where his father sat enjoying the game with Charlie.

Bella blew a stray hair off of her forehead. He had nerve, that Jacob Black.

Alec lay across the sofa with his head on Edward's thigh, sleeping soundly on his father's lap. Edward sat still, exhausted by the emotional highs and lows of the day, ahd rubbed his son's back gently.

"Maybe you should go put him in his crib." Alice waded through the torn and scattered sparkling wrapping paper mixed with toys and empty boxes that littered the living room floor and flopped down on the sofa next to her brother. She ran her fingers gently through her newly found nephew's soft bronze hair.

"Nah, we're going to be eating soon."

"He's so beautiful, Edward," she sighed. "I can't wait to be a mom."

"Yeah, well, just wait a while, ok. You don't want to kill Mom, do you?" He snorted.

"Nah, that's your job," she giggled.

"Ah, fuck you."

"Shhh." She covered Alec's ear with her hand. "Baby ears, brother!"

"This kid could fall asleep on the tarmac at O'Hare and it wouldn't phase him in the slightest." He shook his head in awe. "I wish I could sleep half as soundly as he does."

"Trouble sleeping?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you've been feeling pretty darn guilty about the way you treated some people who love you," she reached up and rested her elbow on Edward's shoulder, running her fingers through his messy hair.

Edward sighed, closing his eyes. "It's so relaxing when you do that."

"Mom told me that's how she used to get you to sleep at night when she first got you."

"First got me? You make me sound like a puppy that she picked up at the pound."

"Well, in a way, you are. We both are."

"Yeah, I know. Strays taken in by the kindly Cullen's." He smirked, then his face became serious. "I want to make sure Alec never feels like that, Alice."

"Oh, Edward. We were all strays. Even Mom and Dad were lost little strays in search of a family. And now, because we are a family, that's all Alec's ever going to know. He's going to know how much his Daddy loves him. And how much his Auntie Alice loves him."

"Auntie Alice is going to spoil him rotten. Look at this place. It looks like Santa's toy bag exploded in here."

"I should clean up." She stood up. "I sent Jazz in to get a garbage bag like, hours ago. Where is he?"

"You only sent him into the kitchen five minutes ago. And since Mom and Dad are in there cooking, he probably got drafted into doing something."

"I should maybe go help too, huh?"

"I think you should." He grinned.

"I'm so glad Alec's staying the night. Victoria looked almost relieved to get rid of him, the cold bitch." Alice sniffed as she folded her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, she's not very into the whole being a mom thing, that's for sure," he sighed, "but I need to keep on good terms with her, Al, so try to be nice when she comes to pick him up tomorrow, ok?" He ran his hand through his hair.

"You know I'm nothing if not the perfect diplomat, Edward."

"Yeah, I've seen your brand of diplomacy."

"What," she pouted, "not good?"

"Suffice it to say that if you were in the UN, we'd be at war with the world."

"You underestimate me, brother."

"What is with this 'brother' thing?"

"What do you mean? You're my brother."

"I know that, but you never call me broth~eh, forget it." Edward scratched at the stubble along his jaw. "I need a cigarette."

"Oh my God! You cannot have a cigarette when that child is here," Alice exclaimed pointing an accusatory finger at him.

"Simmer down, MOM. I'm not having one. I just said I need one." He absently ran his long fingers through the sleeping child's tousled hair.

"You need to quit smoking, Edward, and I mean now. You don't want Alec inhaling second hand smoke. Do you know how bad that is for anyone, let alone a child? Plus, you know how easily influenced children are! You don't want him picking up any of your bad habits and thinking it's ok for him to do because you do it. You don't want to be a bad example and you want to stay healthy for him. I think when we get home," she came up for a breath, "you should ask Bella how she quit."

Edward's head shot up. "Bella quit smoking?"

"Uh huh." She nodded. "I haven't seen her have a smoke since, like…" She squinted her eyes as she thought. "Well, I can't remember when exactly, but it's been a while since I saw her smoke."

"Wow, that's great." His face lit up with his crooked smile. "Hey, Alice," his voice grew low, "um…did…did you…ah…"

"Did I hear from Bella today?"

"Yeah." He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.

"I don't know," she shrugged, "since my phone's up in my room. Last night little Destructo over here kept throwing it for distance." She pointed at the angelic sleeping child on his lap.

"Did you hide it where she could find it?"

"Yep, just like you wanted." She nodded, "I stuck it in the tree."

"Well…maybe she didn't find it. Maybe you should give her a call and—"

"Edward…there's no way she didn't find it. It was pretty easy to spot."

Edward looked down, disappointment evident on his face.

"I'm sure she loved it." Her voice was gentle.

He nodded.

"And I'm sure she loved the note more than the bracelet, Edward."

He looked up at her, eyes wide. "You didn't."

"Of course I did." She twirled around, sending scraps of paper scattering around the floor. "What kind of a sister would I be if I didn't read your love notes?"

So...there it is. I hope you enjoyed it. Edward and Esme reconcile and we get some insight into her reaction to Edward.

And, much like Bella, I too got a pair of Hello Kitty slippers for Christmas...I'm wearing them right now.

Thank you for reading and for sticking with my little story. We are getting closer to conclusion of this chapter in the eternal saga that is Edward and Bella's lives, and I think things will be moving quickly from this point on...that is, if I can get it shifted into gear. I swear, I feel like a rusty old truck with a bad transmission these days.

Again, I thank you for reading and if you are so inclined, for reviewing =D