Part Three
Epi-Centres
She stopped, her hair flowing in a gentle breeze, head turning toward him. "You don't understand, do you?" Her voice was cracked, and Sam came to the conclusion then. He just knew it with every fibre of his being: this was what she really looked like, and this was her real voice. She really was as broken as her voice sounded. She was as heart-broken as she sounded. She didn't want that to happen. She didn't want to see Bumblebee have to lose his voice.
"You really don't get it? Why? Why can't you see the truth? This was planned, as you say, this was all planned, and yet you still can't see it? You-" she stopped, looking around herself, as if afraid to see someone peering over her shoulder. "You-"
"I'm what? The'Holder of Hope'? What in hell's name is that?" he cried sarcastically.
"You. Are. The. Control. Pillar," she whispered, before all paled to grey, and he was left, alone. His eyes widened, and he gripped his palms, feeling a shiver well up his spine. Then, everything disappeared, as soon as he murmured-
"I'm what?"
xXx
He shivered, feeling reality seep back into his bones.
There was a feeling, a feeling of elation that always came with being safe. Being in the arms of someone you trusted, being held by someone who gave you hope-
He gripped the yellow and black chest plate, feeling what was his best friend: the scout who lost his voice through war, yet found it in a sense when he met Sam. The Autobot, who waited for him to be born, who met the angel who saved him, and who stood by him when Sam felt alone.
He shuddered, seeing what happened to the scout again in his mind, and he felt the hands holding him up start to move. Sam, slowly, looked up, seeing Bee look down on him, cocking his head to one side. Bee had seen too much of war, and it dawned on him that that was why he stayed with him. With Sam, there was fighting, and there was pain, but with Sam, there was also laughter, and happiness, there was sunshine, and there was fun. Sam offered a family to Bumblebee.
"Just a dream, just a dream," the radio crooned, and Sam smiled slightly, gripping the armour tighter.
"Yeah, just a dream," he agreed.
"You. Are. The. Control. Pillar."
"You. Are. The. Control. Pillar."
"You. Are. The. Control. Pillar."
He was the one who could bring it back. She meant it to be him. She wanted him to be the one to bring back Cybertron. She wanted him to save a planet he knew nothing of.
"I still don't know how to act, or know what to say—But you're long gone and moved on," the radio chanted, the beat of the music tilting as Bumblebee leaned into him. Sam moved slightly, feeling himself relax into Bee's hand, letting one hand dangle from between the fingers of his friend, his brother, his partner.
What was he supposed to say to the others?
"Happiness is just outside my window… You just let it in… Happiness feels a lot like sorrow… You can't make it come or go… Feels a lot like gone for good…"
How could he tell them he could bring it all back to life? What would Optimus say?
How would they react?
How would Bee react?
"Happiness… Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor… That's enough for now…"
He would have to say something.
"You. Are. The. Control. Pillar."
He was a pillar, he was a Messenger, he was the Holder of Hope, whatever the hell that meant.
He was the one who controlled the Fates.
He stopped thinking, putting two hands on his already throbbing forehead, groaning. He wanted to scream out—"Okay, I get it! I'm meant to bring back Cybertron! But how in God's name am I supposed to do that?"
He refrained, knowing it was bad manners.
Control. Pillar.
He destroyed the control pillar, back when he died. He stopped Cybertron coming back.
He chose to stop Cybertron from coming back. He chose. He was the one who made the decision to stop what he felt would hurt, kill, his friends and family.
He chose.
So he had to choose to bring back Cybertron. Was he willing?
"Lately, I've been, walking, walking, in circles, watching, waiting, for something-"
Bee had been waiting. They were all waiting for the truth to finally surface. He bit his lip, knowing yet another obstacle was waiting around the corner.
"Hey. Kid—No need to burn—Out—All your brains—Just to make yourself—Feel worse—Want to talk about it?—We can work this out—Make you feel better—Stop thinking—No. More. Pain." Bumblebee was trying to make him feel better, even though he was the one who needed to be comforted.
Sam looked up toward Bee's face, and smiled again, this time more sadly than the last. "Wish I could," he mumbled, before he sat up. Bumblebee wasn't taking no for an answer, and one finger came out of nowhere to push him back down onto his back, and he kept it there, gentle, but firm enough to keep Sam rooted to the spot. Under that finger, Sam knew Bee could feel his heartbeat, and pondered whether Bee wanted to reassure himself that these nightmares weren't causing him to be fatally wounded.
"Speak now or forever hold your peace. Soldier."
Sam's mouth went dry. How in God's name was he going to tell his best friend he dreamt of how he saw Barricade ripping his voice box out from his throat? He couldn't. It wasn't the sort of nightmare he'd ever discuss with anyone, not for as long as he lived. He gulped, looking down.
There was a definite silence, one that stretched out between them like elastic, and it lit over Bee's optics as surely as it depressed Sam. He closed his eyes, feeling the tears well up again, uncomprehending how on earth's name he was such a cry baby.
He could sense he'd broken a small part of Bumblebee by not speaking, and it was safe to say, in return, he'd broken his own heart it two. However, this break wasn't a clean snap in two: Sam could feel the jagged edges of this break slicing his skin whenever he so much as breathed.
Another tear escaped Sam's eyes.
A/N: Since I'll be heading back to school in the next few days, I decided to upload as many of these as possible...
Yes, there is a slight- I repeat SLIGHT- SamXBee... I kinda felt a little strange, saying Sam was faithful to Carly, when there's a little something going on between Bee and Sam in the process, so I'm sorry! There is a friendship there, but nothing more, at least, not in this story... So, please wait for my fanfic Sorrows for the Damned, where there'll be a lot of Sam and Bee action, and I mean SLASH, okay?
Thanks a million , guys!
xoxoxox