All things Harry Potter belong to JKR. Nothing but the story line belongs to me.
Rated M for language, subject matter some may find offensive and romantic interludes.
Previously on The Years Of Decisions 2: Lovers Orders And Another Secret
Four weeks after her meeting with Severus at Spinner's End, Lily Potter realized she was pregnant. She never failed to use contraceptive charms with James because they had agreed not to bring a child into this uncertain world and as hard as it was for Lily to admit to herself, she knew the baby belonged to Severus. It was the only time she had sex and did not use the contraceptive charms.
Lily vowed to herself that Severus could never know. If he ever found out she was carrying his child, there wouldn't be anything or anyone that could stop him from claiming her and his baby up to and including killing James. She had made the mistake and would deal with it in her own way.
Lily sighed to herself. "My mother always said, "One lie always begets another" and mother was so right. I find myself in the unenviable position of having to lie to my child about his father and to my husband about his son. It is my most fervent hope that at some point I will be able to tell my child the truth about Severus and let him make his own decisions, but I have doubts that will ever happen. One thing is certain, I will only ever tell one other person about Severus and I will have it down in the books that my husband James Potter is the father of my child.
And Lily had pulled out quill and parchment to write to Albus Dumbledore. Albus had told her numerous times to come to him if she needed help. Lily needed help and Albus could fix almost anything. Surely he could help her keep her secret especially if it was for the greater good.
The Years Of Decisions: Chapter 3: In The Hands Of Albus
Albus Dumbledore hadn't blinked an eye when he received Lily's plaintive missive. Not much got past him and he had been quite aware of the relationship Lily and Severus had shared while at Hogwarts. And most naturally he had also been aware that James Potter was interested in Lily as well. After all, it had been he who had to interfere many times to keep James from hexing Severus or the other way round. Albus was also aware of the path Severus had chosen and had high hopes Lily Evans could turn him to a different path. Alas, when all was said and done it seemed even the witch Severus loved above all else could not deter him from following the path which led to the dark side.
Albus mulled over the facts. Lily had been indiscreet which had resulted in a pregnancy and she was sure the baby belonged to Severus. Albus sighed. Of all the messes Lily could have found herself in, why this? Lily was right to worry. She had involved herself with two of the most hard headed wizards to ever have passed through his doors. If Severus ever found out Lily was pregnant with his child there wouldn't be anyone in the wizarding world who could stop him from claiming what was his including James Potter. Yet, by the same token if James Potter found out the truth, he would not stop until he killed Severus and perhaps Lily as well. This was a secret which had to be kept for the sake of all involved and he, Albus Dumbledore would do his very best to see that neither James nor Severus ever learned the truth.
For several seconds after he made his decision, Albus thought about the baby. The child. How would the child of Severus Snape fare growing up as the child of James Potter? Albus could only hope that the Evans genes dominated the Snape genes, but if that wasn't the case there were things he could and would do.
Albus finally finished his deliberations and sent a message back to Lily.
Lily,
So nice to hear from you. I know you and James have a busy life, but if you have a free moment please come visit your old Headmaster. I would love to sit and have tea.
Yours,
Albus Dumbledore.
Knowing that the future had been indelibly set in stone, Albus sighed again as he asked Fawkes to deliver his message to Lily.
/*/
James had smiled when Lily told him she was pregnant, but the smile never quite reached his eyes. There weren't any recriminations or pointing of fingers, but Lily realized a baby was the last thing James wanted. They had already discussed children. Whether it was really because of the war or whether it was because he was seeing Bettye, she didn't know, but they would have to make do because she was pregnant and there was a baby coming.
/*/
Initially, James had been ready to tear his hair out. A baby? What the fuck? He and Lily were supposed to be taking precautions and Lily had messed up. He had made it clear that he didn't want any children until the wizarding world had settled down if then. Now there they were, pregnant.
James had whined to Sirius and Remus, but they both had told him to get a hold of himself, stop fucking his side witch and get used to the fact he would be a father. And with nowhere else to turn, James had done what was right. He had turned back to Lily realizing the pregnancy was something that couldn't be changed or altered and something he had to adjust to. He had no choice.
As Sirius and Remus had suggested, James decided to make Bettye Macomber a part of his past even though he had been feeling for a long time that Bettye would have made him a better wife than Lily. It was the one time James Potter had cursed his dick for making such a quick choice.
/*/
One thing did become clear to Lily as she advanced into the pregnancy. James had given up Bettye Macomber and it seemed he was going to make a concerted effort to be a good husband and father. There was nothing else to be done and Lily had adjusted herself to life with the wizard she'd married and without the wizard she loved.
/*/
It was around this time Severus noticed that the Dark Lord was able to give him more information about Lily and James Potter than he himself knew. The Dark Lord even questioned why Severus didn't know as much when the Potters were supposed to be his assignment. Severus didn't have an answer. It was true he held back many things he found out about Lily, but for the Dark Lord to know so much he had to be getting information from another source. This made Severus wonder if someone pretending to be Lily's friend was also reporting to the Dark Lord. The fact someone else could be reporting on Lily had worried Severus until….. until he found out Lily was pregnant.
Severus found out about Lily's pregnancy by accident. It had come up in a Death Eater meeting where Rosier had made a joke about the mud blood procreating her species. Severus had been half listening until he heard the name Potter. Although he kept his head down as though reviewing some document, he ears had been honed in on every word of Rosier's conversation. Lily Potter was pregnant and Rosier thought it would be bloody fun to push into the stinking, pregnant mud blood slit and show her what was what.
Although he wanted to kill Rosier, Severus maintained his cool, calm exterior and had only looked up when Rosier addressed him directly.
Severus snarled, "You may have time to discuss what you would do with a mud blood slit, but the Dark Lord has assigned me a task and I'm trying to familiarize myself with details. If you want to get the mud blood, get her, fuck her, but leave me out of it. The Dark Lord trusts some of us to do his bidding."
Rosier backpedaled. "No need to get touchy Severus. I was just having a little joke."
"Then I suggest you have your little joke somewhere else Rosier. I have the means to get my own witch, a real witch and I don't need to hear what you would hypothetically do to a piece of shit mudblood. My orders from The Dark Lord are important and I don't need your fucking load of bullshit interrupting me."
Rosier was cowed by Severus' fierceness and made no reply. However, on the way out he chanced a whisper to Avery. "It would seem that the favorite on does protest too much."
Avery had quickly looked around to see if Severus had heard and lowly growled, "You are an arse Rosier. Are you willing to let Severus suspect you are talking against him? Keep talking like that if you want to die, but leave me out of it," and he hurried away trying to put as much distance between himself and Rosier as possible.
/*/
When Severus was finally alone, for one brief second he thought about his and Lily's afternoon together and wondered. What a ridiculous thought. Then he had gone into a fit of rage where he washed his hands of Lily Potter. She was having a child with that fucking wanker James Potter and he would not touch her again if she splayed herself naked in front of him.
That night, Severus led three raids which left several muggles near death.
A week later, Severus, Bellatrix and several other Death Eaters had the chance to kill James Potter and Sirius Black once and for all, but had been thwarted by the arrival of Alastor Moody, Frank Longbottom and Gideon Prewitt and Severus had barely managed to escape with his life.
That particular battle had been nothing more than a skirmish to Severus, but Bellatrix had taken it more personally and within the next two weeks she and Antonin Dolohov had seen to the Prewitts. Bellatrix had also tried to kill Moody, but he had given her what for and she'd come limping back to the lair vowing further vengeance.
The skirmishes had driven Bellatrix to her ends and she vowed not to stop until she had her revenge on them all.
/*/
It was different for Severus. No matter what he had said while in a rage, he still tried to keep up with of Lily. In March of 1980, Severus had come across her and Potter while he was out on business. Lily looked lovely with her protruding stomach. She was even more beautiful in her pregnancy, but to Severus' dismay, James had his arm around Lily and they looked happy.
If his heart hadn't been hardened through and through the day he had heard the news about Lily, it would have broken in two looking at the witch he loved carrying another wizard's child. He promised himself then and there he wouldn't search her out ever again because it was just as Lily had said, they had made their choices and now had to live with them. With his hopes completely extinguished, Severus pushed Lily out of his mind for what he thought was for good and for all.
Severus had other worries. He was not making any headway with what the Dark Lord had ordered him to do. So far, Dumbledore had resisted his requests for a position at Hogwarts. Albus Dumbledore had never been one to mince words and had told Severus straight out he didn't trust someone so closely aligned with the dark forces, but Severus had his orders from the Dark Lord and no matter how many times Albus refused him, he continued to apply for a position at Hogwarts.
/*/
In June of 1980, everything was taken out of Severus' hands by way of the very prophecy he had relayed to the Dark Lord. Severus had done his duty and reported what he heard directly to the Dark Lord and had unknowingly put Lily directly in harms way. The Dark Lord had determined it applied either to the Potter's or the Longbottom's as both couples were shortly expecting sons as had been declared in the Prophecy and each continued to defy him. For his own reasons, the Dark Lord pinpointed the Potter child and from that moment on, the Potter family had been marked.
Severus had been undone by his own words. When he realized the Dark Lord had marked the Potter family for death, he had gone so far as to ask the Dark Lord to spare the witch. The child was the target and Severus didn't care a whit for James Potter, but Lily still meant everything to him.
Although the Dark Lord agreed to grant Severus his wish, he denigrated Severus every chance he got for trying to protect a mud blood bitch going as far as to ridicule Severus with the fact that James Potter was shagging the mud blood every chance he got. Even so, Severus had gladly taken the Crucios cast on him as long as it meant the Dark Lord would spare Lily.
The day Severus found out the Dark Lord could not be trusted to spare Lily's life, he had prostrated himself at Dumbledore's feet asking for help and Dumbledore had agreed to help him…..for a price. The price Dumbledore asked was an unbreakable vow which called for Severus to work for the side of light AND protect the Potter family to the best of his ability. Because he wanted to save Lily, Severus had made the unbreakable vow with Dumbledore.
It was then that Severus began living a double life as a spy for the Dark Lord while spying for Dumbledore.
/*/
Dumbledore kept his word and had put Lily and James under a Fidelius Charm protected by a secretkeeper who would protect them for the rest of their lives. For added protection, Dumbledore had also cast an old magic Mother's charm on the pregnant Lily. The Mother's charm would protect Lily and the son she was carrying from almost everything even deflecting an Avada Kedavra and would remain in effect until the baby was two years old after which they would have to rely on the Fidelius. Dumbledore was confident that the Potter's were as protected as possible.
When the baby whom they named Harry was born on July 31st, he was automatically protected by the Fidelius Charm as well as the Mother's charm. Although Severus still hated James Potter and now his spawn, he was satisfied that the love of his life was safe once and for all. As far as Severus was concerned, The Dark Lord could do his worst.
/*/
In mid 1981, rumors reached Severus' ears that someone close to Lily was indeed feeding the Dark Lord information. Even though it had been he who had started the whole thing by reporting the Prophecy, Severus' conscience was clear as Dumbledore had everything under control.
A few months later everything changed. At one of his meetings, The Dark Lord announced he would soon have the opportunity to kill the Potter brat and if necessary anyone else who stood in his way. As The Dark Lord told it, one of his loyal followers would soon have the information he needed to find the Potters.
As soon as he could get away from the Dark Lord, Severus had gone immediately to Dumbledore to make a report. Dumbledore had again assured Severus that the family was safe, but promised he would speak to Lily and James to be sure everything was in order on their end.
Severus left the meeting place feeling better, but still a bit worried. The Dark Lord did not make idle chatter. If he said he had an inside source, then he had an inside source. All Severus could do was trust Dumbledore. And for a few more months, things had progressed swimmingly for Severus. The Dark Lord however, stayed in a constant rage and gave just about everyone a daily taste of his wand. His inside source hadn't come through.
Severus had thought to himself, inside source my arse as he didn't believe there was any one who could thwart Albus Dumbledore.
/*/
As the year 1981 was coming to a close, Severus had more to think about than the now common rage of the Dark Lord. He had classes and students to prepare for. Dumbledore had finally hired him as Potions Professor at Hogwarts to start the coming school year and he had finally completed the task The Dark Lord had given him.
Severus had continued his dual life telling the Dark Lord bits and pieces and then telling Dumbledore the other bits and pieces until Halloween night 1981. After classes, Severus had stopped in to The Dark Lord's meeting place to find it had been in an uproar all day. Severus didn't pay a lot of attention to what was going on because the Dark Lord had been completely out of his mind for the past week and had Crucio'd everyone at least twice including Severus, Bella and Lucius.
Severus only began paying strict attention when the Dark Lord began preparing himself to go on a raid which Severus found to be unusual. The Dark Lord usually left the dirty work to others. He seldom went on raids, but this night he was going and had made it known he would be going alone.
When Severus realized there really was an inside contact who had finally come through and the Dark Lord was going after Lily and her family, it had been too late to get to Dumbledore. The Dark Lord had ordered everyone to stay put while he was gone.
Severus was in a panic and had taken his first opportunity to send an emergency Patronus to Dumbledore begging that he get to Lily because someone had given her up and the Dark Lord was on his way to their house.
Severus waited for word of the raid, but none had come from the Dark Lord. When he couldn't stand it any longer, Severus announced he was going after the Dark Lord in case something had gone wrong insisting the other Death Eaters remain where they were.
Severus knew the Potter's lived in Godric's Hollow, but he didn't know the exact location because of the Fidelius Charm. Knowing the exact location hadn't been necessary because as Severus approached Godric's Hollow he could see where he needed to be. There was only one house lit up as though there was a charity ball in progress. The Potter's.
With his heart in his throat, Severus had flown directly into the carnage. He nearly tripped over the body of James Potter, but had stepped over it at the last moment. The stairs to the upper floor were destroyed so Severus had to apparate up and when he landed he heard Lily begging The Dark Lord to spare her son and had stealthily approached the room. Lily was standing between her son and the Dark Lord begging him to leave Harry alone, but The Dark Lord gave his final ultimatum. "Get out of my way mud blood. I've me the child. You are a pretty witch and there will be other children down the line. I do not want to kill you, but I will."
Lily screamed one more time for him to spare her son and take her instead.
"Enough," screamed The Dark Lord as he moved his wand up and down and called out, "Sectumsempra." Lily fell to the ground dying. The Dark Lord then turned his wand on baby Harry and called out, "Avada Kedavra."
Severus moved into the room as The Dark Lord cast the killing curse and had to jump back as the Avada rebounded off the child and hit The Dark Lord directly in the chest. When the spell hit him, The Dark Lord seemed to have been blown to bits. The only thing Severus saw was a wisp of smoke streak out of a broken window.
The child had been knocked out, but was none the worse for wear except for a bloody cut on his forehead. Severus wasn't worried about him. He had to get to work on Lily. There was only so much time to save her life and keep her from bleeding to death after being hit by Sectumsempra.
Severus was even more livid that The Dark Lord had used Severus' own spell on Lily, but he was thankful it hadn't been the Avada Kedavra and began to work on Lily to keep her alive. To reverse the spell was complicated and Severus had to concentrate deeply to ensure his counter curse worked. To be sure, Severus applied it twice.
Harry began to cry for his mother, but Severus ignored him continuing to work on Lily. He had been working for approximately five minutes when he heard the pop of apparition downstairs. Severus had no way of knowing who it was and began to murmur the counter curse in earnest. He hurriedly applied the counter curse one more time and the bleeding had completely stopped.
Lily's eyes opened and whispered, "Severus, my love." before passing out again.
Severus' work was done. From there, any skilled healer could bring her back to full health with very little damage. Lily and her child had done the unthinkable, they had escaped the Dark Lord's wrath.
After taking one last look at Lily, Severus had turned into apparition just as he heard someone softly call out, "Thank you Severus. I'll take it from here" and as he felt himself being pulled away, Severus looked directly into the blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore.
Thank you for reading. Reviews are welcome.