Radio blaring out some interchangeable static faking itself as music, the conversation had become more of a group thing as they neared home, the mental stereo of one boy playing quite the different selection. In his mind, it was a much darker place, and the void reflected as much, airing old classics and catchy new favorites; only now, it seemed as if someone had taken a hatchet and had sabotaged the juke box to play only melodies that reminded him of a girl...

But it wasn't just any girl his mind was circled around to in a finite loop - it was only one in particular. One knee tucked away as she leaned closer to the window, her face was just barely kissing the glass as she gazed eagerly at the passing landscapes. Grey eyes sparkling like the polished granite of a cherished tomb, their intensity only magnified unthinkingly as she turned her head to gaze at him, the smile on her face budding like a single white rose. With no way to help it, he could already feel his memory caressing the vivid print of her dark hair merging seamlessly with the night sky outside.

Not even able to enjoy the broken fragment of time for a full minute, he could see her aging and withering before death's grindstone, the force's scythe poised over her neck as her likeness crumbled to ashes and dust. Even if all the barriers keeping this from being clean and breezy suddenly didn't exist, that still wouldn't change the fact that he was immortal, and that part of his curse meant being alone, forever. To put it in the language of the average teen fangirl and their weird moms, it was as if he was a romanticized version of a vampire, doomed to never share in his curse with a mate. There would be no Louis, Jessie, or Bella for him, just a temporary Clary at best. There were times when it was hard enough having his friends be ignorant of his pain, but when it came to girls finding out, that could hurt even worse...

Despite being in fourth grade at the time, Kenny could still clearly remember how Tammy Warner hadn't even gone to his funeral. At first, he had tried to argue that it was because it was too hard for her to endure, seeing him dead and knowing that it was her own fault, but it quickly became apparent that there were other reasons for her absence. And she wasn't the last girl to behave unfavorably when the news broke of his untimely demise. In fact, it was just as much the lack of concern as the skepticism of his affliction that left him rather jaded. Even if they couldn't remember him dying the day before, they could have at least pretended to humor the idea that he was telling the truth about being unkillable.

No, another key factor in him swearing off a relationship greater than that of friends with benefits was that every time that he had ever tried to have a normal girlfriend, it ended badly... So say that he could afford it, that he magically didn't need to play the role of provider anymore, that he was free to go out only for his own, he wasn't sure that his heart could bear all of that pain. He was hurting, and he didn't want one more reason to pop yet another pill, or snort another line, or whatever. He just wanted it to go away...

"Look," Hunter nodded out of the window once more, a glimmer of what had shone when she was looking at him gone, or maybe just a bit less. "South Park. We're almost back." A tradition that her mother had started well before the birth of Avery, the girl couldn't help but to state a fact about herself. "I hate bananas."

Collectively, they all looked back at Hunter's unexpected outburst, even Stan. "What?"

Once more, she inclined her head towards the ever-approaching welcome sign, still as vague and wooden as always. "In my family, every time we return home from an out-of-town trip or move into a new city, we all declare something." It was a bit stupid, but after moving a billion times throughout her life, it was as much a part of Hunter as breathing. "So, fess up boys!"

Honestly, Kyle was fairly shocked to learn that he wasn't the only one with a hate-on for nature's mushy yellow penis. "Does it have to be something that no one else knows?"

For a fraction of a second, Hunter considered lying and tricking them into spilling some kind of secret, but that would have been dishonest, and besides, the next time that they had a road trip together, they would have expected something juicy from her in return. "Nope. Now hurry!"

Rushed, Kyle and Stan went at the same time.

"I should have answered my phone." Because he really really regretted pushing Wendy away like that, especially if this was truly the end...

"I was the first to see Cylde kissing Craig's sister." It wasn't so much of a secret - given that everyone knew about it - more of a clearing of the conscious, since he hadn't said anything about it. Well, obviously Stan knew, but no one else did.

Listening to their new little game, Kenny came to a realization - it wouldn't stop hurting, because she wouldn't let it heal. Even if they had agreed to go their separate ways and mean it, it couldn't change the fact that they were friends, that their friends were friends, that they were neighbors, that the town was so small, there was no escape from the other. In some capacity or other, she would be there, and even when she wasn't, once she had gone away for good, he would still think of her. Not forever, but long enough to suffer and wish more than almost anything else that he could have a working time machine. Just like sleeping together, it seemed like this was inevitable...

As they neared the city limits of South Park, the sign drawing closer and closer, there was only thing that Kenny had to declare as they reentered the town. "I poked Hunter."

About to retort that he hadn't poked her, unless of course he meant it more in the sense of porking, the secret female was rendered silent as he sharply jabbed her in the shoulder. Prompted by that one simple action, really a childish call-to-arms, they proceeded to prod each other in any place their finger could reach, which quickly escalated to Kenny trapping Hunter in a headlock. Dragging his knuckles through her hair in the same general area, the boy only let go when the girl gave him a wet willie.

"You fight dirty." Kenny frowned at Hunter as if truly disgusted by her actions, wiping off her spit from his ear. "I like it!"

Pouncing back into the fray, it didn't take long for their play scuffle to land one of them on their back; while a formidable opponent in her own right, Hunter was no match for Mysterion. Grinning down at his captive, the blonde took a second to consider what horrible punishment to dole out - he was partial purple nurples, but in this case, an Indian burn would probably serve better. Although... A titty twister was a perfectly suitable excuse to touch her boobs again without drawing any attention to the yet-to-be-determined status of things...

Pinned beneath Kenny with both wrists under one of his hands - cursing her father for passing down such thin, girly wrists and ankles - Hunter could only watch as he towered above her helpless form. Despite the hideous prospect of surrender looming over the immediate horizon, she couldn't help but notice that the light of the falling night looked really good on him, making his eyes glow with a kind of otherworldly light... With eyes like those, there was just no way he was human...

"Kenny..." Voice dying away in her chest as she was overcome by a sudden urge that neither was prepared for, he could feel her body rising slowly on an ethereal cloud to meet his own, the spacious gaps hastening away like nightmares in the morning, her lips melding into his...

And so it began... All of their games of pretend failed as he kissed her back, each problem and lie frozen, all doubts and masks cracked as their ascending descend ceased, leaving it all in a void. Any and all attempts at shoving things aside until they could be sorted later were thwarted by that one rash act...

Peeking back through the rear view mirror at the other passengers, what Kyle had seen took him by such surprise, he slammed on the brakes, sending the other three flying forward. Banging into the dashboard with a sickening crack, it felt as if Stan could feel his nose in the back of his throat. Being the only one amongst them smart enough to actually wear his seatbelt, Kyle himself suffered minor whiplash, while the Wonder Twins had both rolled off from the seat to land in a tangle of limbs on the floor.

"What the fuck?!" Nose dripping like a leaky facet in a horror movie, so red in other words, Stan woke up from his stupor to glare at his friend. "What happened?! Was it a deer or something?"

What happened? Kyle saw Kenny on top of Hunter, one hand sliding up the side of her waist, while the other was over her head, that's what happened. Caught in a fair less savory position, her back was arched to such an extent that her shoulders barely grazed the seat, one elbow crooked out against its human cuff, the other arm lost to sight altogether, part of the hand visible as it latched onto Kenny's ass. Because who doesn't want to see one friend grabbing another friend's ass?

Kyle ignored Stan's question, asking his own. "Is everyone alright?"

Though seeing that Stan was no longer lost in rehashed regrets about ignoring Wendy's phone call was a great thing, they were all too wrapped in their own things to register that. Lodged between the wrapper-strewn floor mat and Hunter, Kenny was the first to realize just how minor their pause was, so instead he took the moment to revel in the fact that he was shaking hands with Squishy. Right behind the blonde in noticing that it was more shock than pain, Hunter allowed herself to let go of the seat and fall back to gravity's will, figuring that she would enjoy this break in visibility.

"Uh-huh." Grinning sheepishly at this fortuitous turn, Kenny answered for the both of them. "We're so good."

Well they were fine and still able to fuck around, so alls well as ends well. "Asshole, I don't want to hear that you're getting lucky back there!" Kyle snapped.

"Dude, this is my dad's car!" Putting the pieces together that he had previously missed, Stan looked rather funny pinching his nose to stem the flow, trying at the same time to look fierce. "The only people that are going to fuck in it are me and Wendy!" His face froze over for a moment at the mention of his ex's name. There never was going to be another shot between them, was there? This wasn't the wake-up call he had been expecting, but it was the one he needed.

The sexpocalypse is among us! Nah, that (and the bit about girls and their weird moms) is just a bunch of reference to the Jimmy Kimmel skit 'Movie: The Movie: 2V". And naturally that sparked several vampire love-interest name drops in me. Seriously, I want to thank someone very near and dear to my heart for inspiring the mini car-crash.

(Psst! You should review)

Also, as a last note for this round of postings (triple chapters!), I just want to apologize for how long it's been between this one and the last! Between writers block and getting sick... Urgh, I swear! Anyways, here its is!

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!