All things Harry Potter belong to JKR. Nothing but the story line belongs to me.
Rated M for language, subject matter some may find offensive and romantic interludes.
Previously on The Years Of Decisions 3: In The Hands Of Albus
The child had been knocked out, but was none the worse for wear except for a bloody cut on his forehead. Severus wasn't worried about him. He had to get to work on Lily. There was only so much time to save her life and keep her from bleeding to death after being hit by Sectumsempra.
Severus was even more livid that The Dark Lord had used Severus' own spell on Lily, but he was thankful it hadn't been the Avada Kedavra and began to work on Lily to keep her alive. To reverse the spell was complicated and Severus had to concentrate deeply to ensure his counter curse worked. To be sure, Severus applied it twice.
Harry began to cry for his mother, but Severus ignored him continuing to work on Lily. He had been working for approximately five minutes when he heard the pop of apparition downstairs. Severus had no way of knowing who it was and began to murmur the counter curse in earnest. He hurriedly applied the counter curse one more time and the bleeding had completely stopped.
Lily's eyes opened and whispered, "Severus, my love." before passing out again.
Severus' work was done. From there, any skilled healer could bring her back to full health with very little damage. Lily and her child had done the unthinkable, they had escaped the Dark Lord's wrath.
After taking one last look at Lily, Severus had turned into apparition just as he heard someone softly call out, "Thank you Severus. I'll take it from here" and as he felt himself being pulled away, Severus looked directly into the blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore.
The Years Of Decisions: Chapter 4: What's Done Is Done
Severus felt exhilarated. He had saved Lily and she was now in the hands of Albus Dumbledore. Nothing else mattered.
Nothing else had mattered until Severus checked back at the Dark Lord's stronghold and found it in complete disarray. The Dark Mark had faded from the arms of the Death Eaters and they had taken it to mean their master was dead and had fled the house for parts unknown.
/*/
The empty house had given Severus time to sort out exactly what he had seen at Godric's Hollow. A baby had been the ruin of one the greatest dark wizards known to the wizarding world. It had seemed as though the baby was protected by some sort impenetrable shield. Severus knew magic, but he didn't know of any shield strong enough to repel the Avada Kedavra, but one had and now The Dark Lord had been undone. Severus knew Lily to be a strong witch and Potter had been decent as well, but the power he had seen emanating from that shield defied everything he knew about magic. How had Lily and James conceived such a strong and powerful son?
Severus' lip curled as he thought of James Potter's spawn and an awful thought crossed his mind. Why hadn't the little miscreant gone the same way as his father? With the Dark Lord gone and the Death Eater circle having dispersed to the corners of the earth, he and Lily could be together. However, with her son still alive he would also find himself saddled with the child which was unacceptable. The very last thing he'd do was raise the child of James Potter.
Severus stopped and acknowledged that these were foolish thoughts. Until every last Death Eater was caught or killed, it would still be dangerous for him and Lily to have a relationship. In fact, not knowing who else Sirius Black was in league with would make it dangerous for anyone to find out Lily was alive. Because she had been marked by The Dark Lord, she was also marked by the Death Eaters and if even one Death Eater was left free there was the possibility he and Lily would be hunted and killed if word of a relationship got out.
Severus knew Lily would not allow herself to be kept undercover. If he and Lily started anything, it would have to be above board or not at all. Severus could see his hope for a relationship fading away. He had given Albus his word he would teach Potions and that's what he would do unless Lily surprised him and agreed to leave Britain. If that was the case, Albus could kiss his Potions teacher goodbye and he, Lily and the child would make for parts unknown.
Suddenly, all thoughts of Lily and Harry sped from Severus' mind as he heard the pops of apparition and immediately apparated away as he heard someone call out "Accio wands. Auror Department. Stay where you are."
Severus made it out in time as he felt the magic of an anti-apparition spell being cast.
/*/
In the aftermath of the Dark Lord's disappearance, a number of his most loyal soldiers had gone on killing and cursing sprees apparently in the name of their master. Bellatrix had gone mad. She, Rabastan, Rodolphus and Barty Crouch, Jr. had sought out the Longbottoms as Bellatrix had promised. When they were done, Frank and Alice Longbottom lay crumpled on the floor of their kitchen muttering gibberish having been victims of numerous Crutiatus curses which had just about boiled their brains. Their son Neville escaped his parents fate having been in the care of his grandmother and Uncle Algie at the time. However, within hours of The Dark Lord's disappearance, most Death Eaters including Bellatrix were caught and sent to Azkaban. Many without a trial. Others who were smart and rich enough like Lucius Malfoy claimed they had been under the Imperius Curse and didn't have any knowledge of wrongdoing. Those witches and wizards escaped going to Azkaban and had returned to every day living unscathed.
Severus had himself been detained for a time, but through the testimony of Dumbledore he had been exonerated and allowed to retain his position at Hogwarts.
/*/
The unbelievable truth had all come out. The traitor was Sirius Black who had been James and Lily's best friend and secret keeper, but now stood accused of giving information over to the Dark Lord. Severus was astounded. Even though he hated Black almost as much as he had hated Potter, he couldn't even begin to imagine the piece of shit consorting with The Dark Lord. For that matter, Severus couldn't believe The Dark Lord would even allow the blood traitor Black in his proximity without killing him let alone conspire with him. The Ministry had to be wrong about this. Severus hated the wizard, but he knew loyalty when he saw it and Black had been loyal. In Severus' opinion the werewolf was a more likely suspect. In the end, Severus had shaken his head over the whole thing, kept his opinions to himself and agreed with the masses. Sirius Black was guilty and good riddance to him. Lily had trusted Black and he had turned on her. Severus thought if he had the bloody bastard in front of him he'd teach him a little something about friendship at the end of his wand and if the werewolf got in the way, he too would get a taste of the wand.
/*/
While the furor over Black went on, Severus tried to find out where Lily and her child had been taken and it was a devastated Severus Snape who was informed by Dumbledore that Lily had not survived.
For a moment, Severus was speechless at Albus' pronouncement. When Severus regained his power of speech, he had lit into Dumbledore and they had a vicious argument with Severus accusing Dumbledore, "Lily cannot be dead. I pulled her back from the brink of death. I saved her life. Even a first year healer could have done the rest. I demand to know where she is. You are hiding her from me. You have no right Albus. I love her. I will take care of her and if necessary I will care for Potter's spawn as well."
Dumbledore had heatedly replied, "You dare accuse me of improprieties because of your feelings? You are a Death Eater Severus. You are not allowed to have feelings. Lily is gone and her child has been placed with relatives. Get on with your life. You are one of my professors, concentrate on getting your classes in order. Now leave me."
And in a fury Severus had left Albus unwilling to believe he had truly lost the love of his life and in the privacy of his rooms he had ranted his grief. Severus was sure he had saved Lily. He was Severus Snape and he did not make those kind of mistakes. Lily had opened her eyes and called out his name. She had survived the curse no matter what Albus said. Therefore, the only possible answer was someone had intentionally let her die. Why? For what reason? To what end? Even Albus Dumbledore wouldn't be that cruel. That reasoning hadn't made any sense, so in the end Severus had put Lily's death down to nothing more than the ineptitude of some fucking healer. Then and there Severus promised he would track down the incompetent piece of shit who had let Lily die if it took him a year.
When Severus finally managed to calm himself, he knew he was furious not only because Lily hadn't been saved, but also because the curse which had killed her was one of his own making. It was he who had invented the Sectumsempra and it was he who would make sure the spell would never be used again completely forgetting about a notation made to a Potions book all those years ago.
As Severus was down in the dungeons ranting, Albus sat in his office agonizing over what he'd had to do. He had made some painful choices. Lily was alive, but he couldn't let her go back to her son or to Severus. He had used very powerful old magic to change everything about Lily. She was now a blue eyed, blonde named Janna with memories of living and being schooled in Wales. He had also left a loophole for the future which he didn't think would ever be used, but he had left it nevertheless.
Sighing to himself, Albus looked at the letter in his hand and spoke to the portraits on the wall. "It can only be done this way. I have done this for the greater good. Severus cannot be told that Lily is alive or Harry is his son. It won't do anyone any good. I do not believe Voldemort is dead. He has taken measures in the form of horcruxes in case of something just like this. I'm convinced Voldemort is somewhere licking his wounds and will return worse than ever looking to avenge himself against those who plotted against him. I'll need Severus when Voldemort returns and he cannot be encumbered with a muggleborn wife and a child. Lily and Harry were safe and that's the way it would remain."
/*/
Internally, Severus remained in a state and starting with November 1st the Potions students who had landed with Professor Snape in September 1981 left his classes feeling as though they had just met a demon and the demon had prevailed. The feelings of his students held no interest for Severus as he wasn't there to hold any hands. He preferred that they thought him a demon and from that day forward that's the way he kept it being especially vile to the Gryffindor simpletons.
/*/
Albus found out that Severus was in contact with almost every healer who had a license trying to find out which of them had let Lily die. Severus hadn't had any luck and when Albus crossly told him there was no one to blame for Lily's death implying it had come down to Severus' own spell. Then he and Severus had another vicious row that ended with Dumbledore telling Severus he had made a vow to assist him in bringing down Voldemort for good and all.
Severus had called Albus a dotty, old fool for thinking The Dark Lord would come back as he himself had seen him undone.
"You do not know your master as well as you might think," ranted Dumbledore. "Voldemort has his ways and he will be back and as agreed, you will be here to greet him when he returns. Put all this chasing healers aside. There isn't anyone to find."
Severus left the office in much the same state he had after their first altercation.
One of the portraits on the wall questioned Dumbledore. "Just how do you think it will turn out when Severus finds out what you have done?"
"Severus will never find out," Albus snapped back. "The magic I've used will not allow anyone to find out. You will do well to keep your thoughts to yourself or you will find your portrait locked in some storeroom never to be heard from again."
"You wouldn't dare," sniped Phineas Black. "Just where would you say my portrait has gone? You are a brilliant and powerful wizard Albus, but don't you dare threaten me. I'll have none of it," and Phineas Nigellus Black stomped out of his portrait.
It was done. Albus had done what he had to do and that was that. Phineas sometimes ran off at the mouth especially if it was to a favored Slytherin and he favored Severus, but Albus was sure his secret was safe as Phineas was more bluster than substance. However, if Phineas ever mentioned Lily to Severus he would find himself in the darkest realms of the old Alchemy rooms never to be seen again. To be sure.
/*/
The long and short of it was that Lily was still alive. Severus had indeed saved her and Albus had seen to the rest, but as soon as Lily had opened her eyes asking for Harry, Severus and James, in that order, he'd made a decision and hadn't given Lily a chance to ask a second time. He had immediately performed several spells known only to the oldest, most powerful wizards and in a flash Lily had no idea her name was Lily Potter. Under the direction of Albus Dumbledore she became Janna Southway a recent transplant from Wales who had been offered a late start position as Professor of the newly created Magizoology course at Hogwarts and was scheduled to start teaching after the winter break.
/*/
Janna had been introduced around to the other professors just before the break when she came in to get her classes set up. Janna met Sybil Trelawney the Divination Professor who had started the previous year and found her to be a bit peculiar, but being new Janna had given the strange professor the benefit of the doubt.
Janna had heard about Severus Snape the Potions Professor, but had yet to meet him. She was secretly happy she wasn't the only newly hired professor. Janna felt safe in the knowledge she would have others with whom she could share her fears and felt they would perhaps have things in common.
Janna was introduced to Professor Severus Snape at lunch of her first full afternoon and had immediately been repelled by his manner. He was a bad tempered, hateful wizard and she promised herself she would stay as far away from Professor Snape as possible.
/*/
Severus was formally introduced to Sybil Trelawney and Janna Southway at their first lunch. He never cared for Trelawney and never would. The other professor was a witch from Wales. Severus didn't think much of her either although she was attractive in a blonde sort of way. Severus walked away quickly after lunch because Miss Southway had unnerved him a bit. Something about her reminded him of Lily which was bloody silly. Severus decided to stay as far away from her as possible. The last thing he wanted was to be reminded of Lily on a daily basis.
When there was free time on the weekends, Severus would apparate to Spinners End to spend a few hours reliving the last time he and Lily had been together. He laid his head back against the couch and allowed himself to become sexually aroused at the thought of Lily. Severus kept returning to Spinners End on weekends for at least two years after Lily died and then one Sunday, he had finally locked the memories inside himself deciding to stop coming to Spinners End on the weekend.
/*/
As he had promised, Severus had as little to do with Janna as possible. He felt Magizoology was as silly as Divination, but during the holiday season in 1985 Albus asked Severus to assist Janna and Minerva with certain holiday tasks.
Severus had out and out refused. "Find someone else Albus. I'm not in a holiday mood."
Albus cautioned him, "You are the only professor who refuses to pitch in. I'm not asking you Severus. I'm telling you. Make yourself available at 7:00 tonight. You shall be helping Minerva and Janna with whatever tasks they set for you. For once Severus, try to act as though you are enjoying yourself. That will be all."
Severus snarled at every student he passed after leaving Dumbledore's office, but he made his appearance in the Great Hall precisely at 7:00 pm. Minerva asked him to help Janna place the fairy lights and mistletoe. He and Janna had gotten the fairy lights placed in record time and began to place a few sprigs of mistletoe here and there.
"And why pray tell are we placing mistletoe in a school for children," Severus asked waspishly?
Janna smiled as she raised up and kissed Severus on the cheek. "Mistletoe can be used by professors as well."
A witch had kissed him. Even though Severus knew better he felt as though he had cheated on Lily which drove him to snarl "Dumbledore suggested I would be helping you and Minerva with certain tasks. He never mentioned I would be manhandled. It seems you are capable of finishing this yourself Miss Southway and until you are invited, do not take liberties."
Severus had then flounced away leaving Janna standing there red faced.
Janna and Minerva finished the chores without saying too much to each other, but before Janna headed back to her rooms Minerva offered her thoughts. "You've done nothing wrong. Severus has been in a bad mood since he was born."
The two witches shared a quiet laugh before going their separate ways.
/*/
Janna was all for harmony and peace and didn't want to be on Severus' bad side even though she wasn't sure he had a good side. Therefore, she had taken it upon herself to visit his dungeon to offers her apologies.
She first went back to her own rooms to shower and freshen up before going to find him wondering why she had bothered because Severus didn't appear to be a wizard who appreciated a nice smelling witch. Nevertheless, she thought that underneath those layers of unfriendliness there might be a wizard she wanted to know better.
"Severus. May I come in? It's Janna."
Janna was in the wrong place. Severus's rooms were across the hall and down a few doors. She was standing outside his classroom.
Severus heard her calling, but chose not to answer. One thing Severus could not stand was a cheeky witch who did not know her place. When she stopped bellowing his name, he had stepped out into the hall to find her still standing at the doorway of his classroom. He had been caught.
Without looking at Severus Janna had asked, "Have I done something so terrible you would hide from me? I'm only here to apologize. I stepped out of line and I'm sorry. It won't happen again now that I know how much I repulse you. Have a good night Severus."
Frowning at the witch, Severus simply nodded.
Janna had been angry with herself all the way back to her quarters. Why did I kiss him on the cheek when he has made it clear he thinks me and my area of study are ridiculous? There is just something about him. I feel as though….. How stupid I'm being. I've never set eyes on him before Hogwarts. It's just odd. As surly and mean as he is, he makes my blood run hot. Hot blood or not, how she felt mattered little as Severus couldn't even stand to be in the same room with her.
/*/
Severus had sniffed the air after Janna left. It was as though Lily had just walked through. He could smell her favorite scent. He had smelled it a million times when they were together. Severus wondered what was happening to him. This was the third or fourth time Janna had evoked memories of Lily and it had his nerves on edge. The truth was he very nearly lost his composure each time he was in her company which usually led him to be his nastiest in hopes of driving her away.
"I'll get this sorted thought Severus. She was only trying to make amends to a colleague."
/*/
Several weeks passed before Severus approached Janna. She was standing with Minerva when he approached and asked to have a private word. Minerva smiled and glanced down at her feet as Janna moved away to speak with Severus.
As confident as Severus was, he found himself at a loss for words when he looked into Janna's baby blue eyes.
Janna had to speak first. "Is there something you need Severus?"
He took a deep breath. "This may be late in coming, but I want to thank you for coming down to the dungeons to seek me out. It wasn't necessary, but it was appreciated."
Janna looked at Severus and her next question just popped out of her mouth of it's own volition. "Have you ever lived in Wales? It just seems you are more familiar to me than just a colleague." Then she had laughed and quickly retorted, "I should mind my mouth. Thank you for coming to me Severus."
He'd never lived in Wales and wondered about the question. Then as Janna walked away, Severus smelled Lily. He was sure this time. He was smelling Lily. Why was a blonde witch from Wales evoking thoughts of Lily Evans? At one point Severus thought maybe he was becoming attracted to the witch and his mind was evoking Lily to keep that from happening. He loved Lily and had lost her twice. There wouldn't be any other witch for him, no matter what scent she wore.
The new year came and although he had made amends with Janna, Severus kept his distance. They nodded to each other in the corridors, but other than that they remained virtual strangers.
1986 wasn't all that much different from 1985 except that Janna had met a wizard while she was on holiday. Severus got a glimpse of him at one of the school events, but found himself annoyed that Janna was happy.
Their classes kept them on opposite sides of the castle and they really didn't see much of each other except for the occasional dinner. Additionally, Dumbledore had allowed Janna to take dinner in her rooms since she was so far away from the Great Hall.
Severus had settled back into his miserable attitude with a vengeance. Students had grown used to his ways and just did what they had to do to get through his classes. It was known throughout Hogwarts, if a student got through the first two years with Snape alive, they would get through the rest of the years with no problem.
/*/
The 1987-1988 school year brought with it a few changes. Dumbledore moved the Magizoology classrooms to the fifth floor directly above the charms corridor. The dunderheads came and went, but Severus had remained the same. Janna and her wizard continued to date and it still bothered Severus that Janna was happy. Severus didn't care a whit for Janna so he couldn't explain to himself why he was so annoyed. She was a silly witch who taught a silly subject and had nothing to do with him. However, thoughts of her happiness made Severus even more obnoxious to his students than usual.
And to make a hateful Severus even more hateful, quiet whispers about The Dark Lord had begun to circulate and he had been called to Albus' office.
"I've heard rumors Severus. I think the time is nearly upon us when we will see the return of Voldemort. You must keep your ears open and report back to me anything you hear. I would also ask that you specifically concentrate on your Occlumency and Legilimency skills. You will need to be at your best."
Severus bristled. "I remember our contract Albus. I am a Master Occlumens as well as a Master Legilimens. There is no reason to imply otherwise. If or when The Dark Lord reappears, I will be ready."
"Spying on Voldemort is not all that is required of you. Lily's son will be entering Hogwarts in a few years and as much as it pains you, you agreed to watch out for him as well."
The mention of Harry Potter angered Severus. "I have not forgotten all our vow entails. I will look out for the boy, but do not think I'll do it willingly. My concern was for Lily not the spawn of James Potter. In addition, I have an excellent memory so don't presume you have to remind me of my duties every other day."
Dumbledore snapped back. "Do not test me Severus. I will remind you as often as I think necessary. When Voldemort returns, your petty differences with a child who has done you no wrong will pale beside what your Master has planned for him. Leave me now Severus as your remarks have become tedious."
"Be well aware Albus that I have no Master," Severus growled on his way out. "I just have two devils who vie for my attention and just so you know, I am as tired of this tedious conversation as you."
Thank you for reading. Reviews are welcome. Have a Happy, Safe and Healthy New Year.