a/n sorry for the delay guys, been really busy lately. This chapter is also a lot shorter that the last two but i just wanted a way to show a bit from Rachel's perspective here since she was kind of out of character in the last two, also i wanted to reinforce that neither of them are perfect and that they're both trying to sort themselves out. Thanks for all my lovely reviewers. (by the way if you review it's like totally cool and motivates me to write more so you guys are super awesome) Any way enough of my blabbing here's chapter 3!

Rachel woke up with a pounding head. It turned out controlling her tears was harder than anticipated last night and she ended up crying herself to sleep. Brittany had stayed by her side the whole night and Kurt had only left when Blaine came to check up on him, it made her feel unbelievably guilty that she had made her friends stick through her drama. Even more so when she knew her predicament was entirely of her own creating.

The thing was that she had no idea what to do with herself lately. It was like there was an emptiness that was bound to consume her heart and she had no idea how to stop it, it had grown and grown since Finn died and nothing and no one could possibly fill it. Apart from Quinn.

Of all the people to be her guiding light it was Quinn Fabray, it always was and always would be. From junior year when she reassured her that she was meant for greatness to freshmen year of college where she came to once again reassure her that she was still destined for that path. But in the end, whenever she had that precious light in her grasp she would always crush it.

She had spent her entire Senior year and most of her junior year pining after Quinn, desperate for her to acknowledge that their friendship could be something more. But when she was actually faced with it she realised she wasn't ready, she couldn't deal with the responsibility that came with someone you genuinely care about. At the end of the day she was scared of the fact that she would give up her dreams and achievements; she'd die or kill for her and that was a commitment and an intensity of feeling that she simply wasn't prepared for. So she ignored Quinn with all her strength; every phone call, email or text was conveniently deleted and in fact the last time they had spoken had been her telling Quinn not to show up to the glee memorial for Finn. Of course she had been resistant at first but after half an hour of bullshit about how Quinn stole two years from her and Finn and no one wanted her there because how much of a bitch she was, did she finally agree to not go. It had felt after that, that she was finally free of the whole situation.

That was until last night, when she could barely keep her eyes of the girl. Every laugh felt like a kick In the teeth, every smile a punch to the face and when she realised that her gaze had been returned the entire time her heart broke. At that moment when her eyes met those enchanting hazel orbs she had already decided to leave in the morning; she simply couldn't let 9 years of building walls be ruined because she got lost in her heart again.

She just didn't expect Quinn to chase after her.

Quinn had never fought against Rachel, no matter how much she hurt her she accepted that they would always be on her terms. So when she had exploded it simply didn't occur to her that there was a reason that Quinn had always been such a complicated enigma. The scars on her wrists had torn her mask to pieces; she was utterly vulnerable for the first time since that first slushee when she was a naïve freshman. Her heart broke as her love explained her past, as Quinn opened up her heart in a way she had never thought possible. Rachel knew Quinn hadn't done this for anyone before, to completely willingly surrender herself to someone. That was what terrified her back into her mask.

"Are you going to leave today, Rach?" Britt asked, breaking the silence. "It's ok if you are; everyone was kinda mean last night."

"No, Quinn convinced me to stay. Although I doubt she'll want to talk to me now." She explained, thankful that Brittany knew to let her bring up the subject of Quinn by herself.

"Are you guys fighting?" Brittany asked; it really was remarkable that she had kept her innocence throughout the years, especially as she has been through the cut throat business that is Broadway and one of the most prestigious academic universities in the world.

"I don't know, Britt. I said some pretty bad things to her, way worse than what she has said to me in high school. I feel awful." Rachel sat up to look at her old friend, tears already began to prickle her eyes as she realised that she really didn't deserve Brittany's kindness.

"She'll come round, Rach. She cares about you, even after all this time; it was clear to everyone last night by the way she never stopped looking at you. I just know that she'd forgive you no matter what you did."

"Why should she?" The words left her mouth before her mind caught up to them, the idea that Quinn would so easily forgive her was both wonderful and heart breaking. "I've spent the entire time I've known her trying to assign her to my preconceptions; It was always so much easier and less painful than trying to dig deeper, but she opened up to me and showed me her true heart and I turned it away twice! No amount of grovelling or apologies should make up for that, even if I wish it could."

"Quinn isn't perfect. She's hurt people, she's hurt you, I really don't think it's a good idea to start blaming yourself for that. She has issues, of course, but you're not responsible for them so don't get upset over it."

Rachel frowned, frustrated at Brittany not understanding her guilt. "But I do and I should get upset. I care about her; I hate that she has issues and it would be unthinkable to ignore them because I didn't directly cause them. Dammit, I can't get my own head around it but I know that I need her to forgive me. There's no point in trying to protect myself from this anymore; not when all I want, have ever really wanted, was her."

Brittany smiled and looked Rachel in the eyes for the first time that morning. "Then go get her. Like I said, she'll forgive you but that won't happen unless you fight for her." She smiled and Rachel was once again annoyed at herself for not realising that Brittany always understands her. "You've got two weeks, Rach. Two weeks to win her trust back." She leant in a little closer and paused for effect with a playful smile on her lips. "I'd go and start now."

Rachel nodded and rushed out the tent, there was no way she was going to let Quinn go again.