Thinning out the fabric of his flannel pajamas as the constant thrumming of his fingers began to match the seconds ticking passed, Mr. Bloodworth was not the only one staring nervously out of a darkened window, ears strained for the slightest sound of a vehicle approaching. Flattening his nose to the glass a house over so that his nose resembled a pig's snout, Cartman was also eagerly awaiting the arrival of his so-called friends, but his reasons were not nearly as considerate. While the father was simply concerned, the boy was seething, planing on using this rare chance to break into the enemy's base to dig up anything he could...
Roads away, completely unaware of the formulating plan to capitalize on her absence, the very last thing on Hunter's mind was home: In fact, there really wasn't a lot on her mind at all, because she was much more preoccupied thinking with her body, learning from the master himself. With all of the serious issues out of the way, or at least wedged far enough into the shadows to squeeze by, Kenny found himself battling one of the worst thumb-wrestling opponents he had had in years...
Further along the residences and much closer to the rest of the town, Stan was seriously debating with himself about spending the night washing out the back seat of his dad's SUV; were it not for Kyle's reminders that the only way to really clean it would involve professional grade flame-throwers, he probably would have been trying. Seared into his retinas, Kyle himself was doing everything he could think of to keep both of their minds off of what had happened in that poor helpless backseat...
Midnight came and went almost without notice...
And then it was 12:01 A.M...
"Hunny-Bunny... Why haven't you come home yet?!" Cursing himself for letting his daughter go with all those boys, Mr. Bloodworth sprung to his feet with every intention of combing the entire neighborhood until she was found, calling in the police for back-up if need be. It even crossed his mind to collect Avery from his schoolmate's sleepover to assist in the search. "Once I know that you're safe back at home, I'm going to ground you until you go away to college!"
Just as he made up his mind about her fate, there was a soft rapping noise coming from the back door. With every last worst scenario running in his mind, Mr. Bloodworth bolted to the kitchen to see what was making that noise, praying that it was not the withering white husk of his baby. Thankfully for his sake, it was not.
Startled by the massive creature he took to be either a deformed bear or radioactive mutant rat at first, the worried parent grabbed a heavy cast-iron skillet from the drying dishes located just at the edge of the counter, holding it ready to strike. Girlish wrists or not, no rodent was going to stand between him and his babies! Throwing the door open, Mr. Bloodworth charged into the backyard screaming at the top of his lungs, bashing the skillet against the side of the animal's head. "Die, you furry mother fucker!"
Holding the place the crazed old man had struck, the 'hero' known as the Coon - part of the much more famous Coon and Friends - growled at the crazy bastard. "What the fuck?!" There was a thin trickle coming from his temple. "Seriously, da fuq?!"
It took Mr. Bloodworth a moment to realize that he had just assaulted the fat kid from next door. "Oh, wait, aren't you that that mean little bastard in Hunter's class?" On more than one occasion he had heard his daughter and her friends complain about what a horrid little shit he was. "Yeah, you and your mom are coming over for dinner next weekend! We could have done it this weekend, but Hunny-Bunny had to earn some extra cash to cover taking her little friends to that basketball game today..." A fresh wave of panic hit him as he brought up the game. "You wouldn't happen to know what the chances are of those guys raping anyone are, would you?"
Although still grossly annoyed by his greeting, Eric saw a rather good opportunity to get back at more than one of those traitorous assholes. "Yeah, I'm ok, thanks for the fucking concern." Playing it up as he rubbed his head, Cartman re-adopted the growl. "I saw that they hadn't come back yet, so I came over to check it out-"
"Why didn't you use the front door and knock?" Or better yet bother dressing up like a swollen rat at that rate.
Sighing dramatically, Cartman shook his head at that kind of civilian attitude. "Because it's not hero-y to use the God-damn front door! This isn't the fucking Girl Scouts!" He cleared his throat again. "So you say that they haven't called you with a change of plan either? Then that settles it..." He heaved a heavy sigh, as if he were almost pained to break the news, "They're raping your son as we speak."
"Avery?!" Mr. Bloodworth's blood coursed in a new wave of terror.
What the fuck would his mind jump there for when they were talking about that other cock-knocker? "Hunter."
"Right!" Dammit, he shouldn't have listened to Rita on this one... He should have let Hunter keep on fighting in those God-awful fight clubs so she didn't get soft and defenseless... At this moment his daughter was... "Do you know where they're keeping her? Dammit kid, you have to help me get my baby girl back home safe and sound!"
Oh this was just too fucking much...! Leading the old man back inside the house as his plan became more and more successful by the second, Cartman could barely contain his 'my present is better than your present' smirk. "Let's get inside so I can clean up..."
Stepping back inside even though his guts and circulatory system were screaming to scour the streets, Mr. Bloodworth barely had time to look at Cartman before his face met with the kitchen floor. The last thing he saw was a blunt instrument swinging from the chubby stump of a wist, blood spiraling down the previously concealed weapon, seeping into the cold tile. Not opposed in the slightest to having to resort to violence, Cartman still would have preferred if the asshole had just been asleep, so he didn't have to endure this bitch of a headache. Well whichever way, there was one less thing standing between him and discovering all of that cunt's secrets now. Following the basic floor plan of all the houses in South Park he headed straight up the stairs, wishing that if anyone was raping that cow, she'd get their filthy diseases and drop dead...
[South Park]
A light rosy pink and ticklish, Kenny's toes curled defiantly against the hole in his sock, warmed by the weak morning rays piercing through the window and various spaces in the wall. Was it really morning already? Of course it was. Just as he always reached the best part of his dreams, they always had to end so abruptly... And this one had been especially good, because it was one of those vivid ones that could have passed for real...
Keeping his eyes closed as tight as he could, the blonde clung on to the fading image of a girl with dark hair bent low, her hair wild and swinging over her eyes. Though they might have been closed in this last fleeting look back, something gave him the impression that they were gray... Just like...
Daring to wonder if yesterday hadn't been some kind of dream and today was Sunday, the big Sunday of the game, the boy blinked slowly, wanting either way to get back to his dream... To the hands wrapping affectionately around his neck, not to strangle the life from him but to tenderly impart compassion. He wanted once more to feel the crushing weight of another's body over his own, living breath temperate on his cheek...
It wasn't a dream. Opening his eyes and expecting disappointment, instead Kenny saw that same unkempt head resting on his chest, hand curled loosely against his shirt as she slept, a peaceful smile playing on her lips. Hunter. So it wasn't just a dream... Well, part of it had been, but extra pairs of breasts aside, the last thing he remembered wasn't the dream itself but falling asleep, watching her as she made herself comfortable...
Wait, if this was happening and she was really wound up around him, then that meant that the events of last night had truly occurred... He had been able to tell his secret to someone, and what was more, he had been believed... Someone had finally believed him about being death-proof! After all these years, someone had been delivered to this town that could finally... Well, this really didn't mean much, but to him it did.
"Don't tell me I did it again..." Groaning against her makeshift pillow as she slowly woke up - half-covered body unused to this level of cold seeping through the bedding - Hunter didn't immediately realize her surroundings, or that what she took to be a pillow was finally a legitimately humpable object. Well, pillows were humpable, but this one could return the favor.
Mind going to the possibility of sleepwalking, that was a story he was curious to hear. "Did what again?"
Jumping back at the unexpected sound of the voice overhead, the girl landed unceremoniously on the floor, sending some of the more 'favored' issues along for the ride; for her own sake, Hunter pretended that the topmost issue didn't crunch slightly beneath her hand. There was a startled squeak as a mouse only just narrowly avoided having its skull bashed in by her palm. Peeking over the bed at the storm's sheepish glower, Kenny couldn't help but to laugh at her sprawled figure.
Blushing furiously, Hunter popped up, doing her utmost to avert her gaze from the human hyena. "Shut it!"
Kenny was cackling so much, it was only possible to speak between breaths. "Dude, do you wake up like this every morning, or are you just trying to make an impression?"
Her face burned an ever brighter shade of scarlet. It wasn't her fault that he had scared her awake by talking like that and not giving her time to realize that all of that hadn't been some kind of a crazy/wonderful dream. Fucking jerk, thinking he was so cool because he didn't fall off the bed... "I guess you just missed the memo, but this is how all the cool kids get out of bed now."
Actually, that gave him an idea for a prank later... "Then remind me to lie and say I failed twice as epically as you did this morning."
She could tell he wasn't saying that to be nice. "Hehe, so funny..."
Smiling brightly as if she hadn't spoken at all, Kenny sat up properly and stretched his arms out. Defeated for the moment, Hunter stood up so she could clearly make out the clock sitting lopsidedly on the create used as a nightstand. 6:13. Huh, school didn't start until 8:30, so that gave them some time... Sitting down innocently at his side as if she wasn't planning anything at all, he read her mind and pushed her back down on the mattress so she couldn't attack, presumably with her infamous wet willies.
"Pft, amateur." The blonde snorted at the raven's noob-ish techniques.
Arching one of her heavy brows challengingly, she smirked, "Oh, you think so?"
Despite being pinned from moving her arms over her head, there was still enough room for her to grab the hem of his shirt and bring him crashing down to her level so that they were literally nose-to-nose. Ok, she was good. Using her feminine wiles to prove that she could have made a far more dangerous villainess than effective heroine, Hunter nipped at his jugular, giving leeches a run for their money...
I wrote this before seeing how the game mapped the town out, so I'm just going to flip the map a bit and say that Butter's lives in the house on the other side of Hunter's (basically just flip Butter's and 'Douchebag'/the new kid's/the Drargonborn's'). And on that note, I haven't played the game yet, only seen some stuff on Youtube for it.
And yes, some more South Park level strangeness will start occurring now. I just wanted time to settle in, and to show that not every day is insane in that town - just most of them.
I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!