Chapter 4: Who Said I Was Joking?

"So… being the mega-awesome hero that you are, I'm gonna assume you're well aware of the fact that my son has a major crush on you, right?"

My jaw dropped, just hung limp as a noodle while I gawked at the woman I once considered to be my loving mom, but who I now understood was nothing more than a dirty traitor in sheeps skin.

A few days had passed since saving the lives of those two girls who went to my school. After going through the motions, you know, the thanks, being on the news, giving my view of events, all that extra nonsense, Elastigirl and Rick Dicker took it upon themselves to show up at my house—the real Elastigirl and the actual Rick Dicker, not some stand-ins or proxies—to explain to me and my mom what had happened.

For the most part, I already knew what had happened and felt they were stacking far too much praise on my shoulders, them and everyone else. As it so often went, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time to help, but to hear Mr. Rick explain it, I had the makings of a true Super. I remember my mom crying then; hell, I remember myself crying, again.

There's been a lot of that over the past week, crying, snotting, just looking absolutely gruesome… but! None of that mattered because I was going to be a Superhero!

Me!

The nothing kid!

Ecstatic didn't even begin to describe it; I was floored, I was halfway to the moon! And the only reason I was halfway there instead of bursting through was because the same day I deflected Mr. Rick's bullet was also the same day I had my mind wiped. And no, I'm not kidding. They kind of glossed over it like I wouldn't mind, or maybe I wasn't supposed to, but I did mind. I minded so much I had to forcibly keep my jaw clamped while they explained their reasoning to my mom, who took the news far better than I did. Matter of fact, her expression was so blasé when the words hit home that I almost suspected maybe my mom figured something like that would happen, that it was par for the course.

Whatever the case, I didn't appreciate it, because from where I sat, it felt like I was meeting Elastigirl properly for the first time, when it was actually the second, which had me feeling all sorts of weird and unsure of how to act because I didn't know what we had already discussed or what the illustrious Super already knew of me or anything. How had our first meeting gone? Did I make a fool of myself? Was I suave about it? Did I fart by accident, do that weird thing with my elbow?

I was already sitting at the kitchen table feeling like an outsider in my own home while Elastigirl and my mom talked—Elastigirl had stopped by to explain the process in more detail and to gauge our reaction on how things were to proceed from this day forward—so when my mom asked that asinine question all out of left field, there was little I could do but stare like she had lost her marbles.

"Mom… did you really just—" I started weakly.

"I've shadowed your son for the past two or three weeks now," Elastigirl responded evenly, without even so much as batting an eye toward the intrusive and embarrassing question, though the corner of her mouth did quirk up a little, "so yes, I'm well aware of his little infatuation."

God, please… that bolt of lightning you've been saving to take me out with? You can use it now.

"And how do you think that's going to fare once he's on your side?" my mom questioned. "You don't think it'll be too much of a distraction?"

Any moment, God, annnnny moment….

"If I thought it would, if I thought his crush would be a detriment to the overall goal, I wouldn't be here right now. Your son possesses an extraordinary sense of determination," Elastigirl went on, and I silently nodded in agreement.

You know what, God? Nevermind, things are better now—

"That's good," my mom said, chuckling as she reached over to ruffle my hair, which, you know, only added about ten more layers to the embarrassment cake I was currently eating, "just as long as I don't see the two of you on the evening news because you got caught fucking or something."

Scratch that. God? All the lightning—on me—now. Thanks, see you soon.

I'm not quite sure how Elastigirl managed to keep her composure once those words undoubtedly flew by her ears—because I damn near fell out of my seat—but she only chuckled. "When you undoubtedly see the two of us on TV in the next month or so, it'll more than likely be because Flicker did something heroic. And, y'know," she added funnily, matching my mother's obvious frenetic energy, "being his mentor, I'll be by his side to soak up all that glory, too."

My mom instantly started laughing. Me? Nervously chuckling between the two older women, my eyes zipping from one to the other in a very silent, very vehement prayer that an almighty hand from on high would reach down and scoop me up out of this madness. I knew that wasn't going to happen, because damned was I, so all I could do was fidget, hoping the sweat pouring from my every orifice didn't stain my clothes in a visible way.

"Well, I guess if that's all we have to worry about is you being a glory hog, I suppose that's tolerable," my mom got out fondly, and she cupped my cheek with a touch more gentle than what I wanted to feel. It compelled me to look at the woman who had just embarrassed the hell out of me. "So when he goes on this all expenses paid trip to this far away remote island that's been repurposed as a training ground for the S.A.P… he will come back, right?"

"He'll come back as a Superhero," came Elastigirl's modeled response.

Still, my mom continued to hold me in her gaze. She was smiling, and it almost managed to drag one out of me as well, but the chagrin kept me at a mild scowl, which seemed to tickle her by way of an amused snort. "Thaaaat's not what I asked," she half-sang, half-asked, and as her son, I picked up on the weirdly placed solemnity that clung to her words, and that confused me, even more so when she added, "so I'll ask again… Flicker will come back, right?"

Oh. Oooohh. Now I got it. She wasn't really asking if I'd come back a Superhero, as Elastigirl provided an answer for. She was asking—nope, scratch that—she was vaguely demanding that I come back alive. There was a very thin red line between coming home a dead Super and coming home still breathing. And, I mean, besides the sudden nauseating way my stomach dropped at the thought of possibly taking my last breath out there, that was a decent enough question that any parent would ask.

Hell, it was one of the main reasons for Elastigirl wanting to write me off in the first place. If I recalled correctly what with my mind being wiped and all.

Yeah, still miffed about that.

Now all pretense of keeping things light and comfy fell away from Elastigirl's demeanor leaving her looking every bit the professional Super that she was. "I'll put it this way," she started and it wasn't the soothing drawl of her accent that put me at ease, it was the way she suddenly reached over, placing her hand over mine, "Flicker will come back well before I do."

"Is that a promise?" It was almost whispered out yearningly and the hand on my cheek began to quiver somewhat. "Would you sacrifice yourself for my kid?"

There was no way Elastigirl could make a promise like that and actually keep it—the life of a Super was perilous at best and suicidal at its worst. When you took on a job where everyday you managed to wake up was like playing a game of Russian Roulette, well… fate didn't much give a damn what promises were made.

"It's just… he's all I have, ya know?" my mom continued, and her voice trembled like her hand. "He's really… h-he's really a runt, just this little thing with a b-big heart who wants to help people and… I really, really want him to follow his dream, b-but—still he's—"

Ah. Damn it. I thought we were done with the tears, I really thought we were. I figured over two days worth of crying from the good news had soaked up the rest of them for the year, but nope. Apparently, I was wrong. Because there my mom was, beaming a watery smile while glistening drops of water rolled down her cheeks. And there was I, her idiot son, vision blurry thanks to those stupid tears and gnawing on my bottom lip in a failed attempt to keep it from wibbling.

"I'll bring him back to you," Elastigirl pledged, increasing the hold she had over my hand. "I promise."

It wasn't the exact wording that my mom was looking for, yet coupled with Elastigirl's conviction and her stellar background, it seemed to be enough because my mom graciously nodded, rubbing under one eye with a finger. "Okay, that'll do." Then she gave a non-committal shrug and a watery giggle. "I guess I won't mind if you take his virginity, then."

Wow, God, a little late on that lightning, huh?

"I'll… you know what, I'll keep that firmly in the farthest reaches of my mind," Elastigirl replied, a coy smirk revealing itself, "although, just to be safe, I'll get his consent beforehand."

I always knew Elastigirl possessed a sense of humor based off the absurd amount of videos I'd seen of her but the way she responded so fluidly, so readily, like such a thing might have actually crossed her mind, it left me staring at her like she had just ghosted through the table.

"I seriously doubt you'd need Flicker's consent to do anything of that nature to him," my mom told her, and it was then my neck snapped turning to face her so fast, "but I appreciate your candor, it's clear you were raised right."

They were joking. The both of them were obviously joking, just throwing barbs back and forth, breaking the ice… but damn it, the way they were talking had me feeling like I was introducing my girlfriend to my mom, which, considering it was Elastigirl next to me, the infamously married Super, was ten shades of messed up by itself, no doubt, but that didn't stop my lower half from rebelling against common sense.

"Sometimes… I'm not so sure about that part," Elastigirl went on in lowered tones, staring down at her cup of coffee offered out of pure hospitality. It had long since lost its luster, the surface was still, as still as the Super speaking. "After all, I did allow him to be shot at."

"This is true, but that was a necessity, wasn't it? What other non-lethal method could you have used? Not your fault it takes a near-death experience to get his power going," my mom said, non-plussed, and I vigorously nodded.

"Yeah!" I jabbed a finger at the table, frowning. "I see what you're trying to do, Mrs Elastigirl, and with all due respect, you can save it. I made up my mind a long time ago. I'm going to do this. You can feel bad about it all you want, jump in a confessional booth and get it out to someone who really cares, but tears and "I'm sorry"s aren't gonna turn me around. I'm here, I made it—let's just crack on."

The surprise that lit up Elastigirl's face paled in comparison to the little smirk my mom offered up, along with her little shoulder shrug. "Well, well, well, looks like the man has spoken, doesn't it?"

To this, Elastigirl scoffed, relaxing her posture and sinking heavily into her seat. "Okay, Flick, alright… and I told you to just call me Elastigirl," she reprimanded funnily.

All I could do was make a face. "Well, shucks, guess if my mind hadn't been wiped I'd remember you telling me that, wouldn't I, ma'am?"

At first, all Elastigirl could was blink, then she gave a tired laugh. "Ha. Touché." When she suddenly pushed herself away from the table and stood, I leapt to my feet as well, a surge of electricity racing through my veins. I didn't know why or where the feeling came from but just by that one motion, I could tell things were going to change, like I was standing up into my destiny. She half turned to me, more with her eyes than her body, saw that I was meeting her gaze head-on, and nodded as though finally coming to an agreement after a lengthy inner battle.

"What would be the point of an apprentice program if the apprentice didn't come back?" she questioned, at first seemingly to herself, but then those supple lips of hers quirked up into a debonair grin. The kind a Superhero might give. "Flicker has a power more dangerous than death… and that needs to be protected." She placed a hand over her bust. "You asked if I would sacrifice myself for your kid? I… at first, I didn't have an answer for that, mostly because I have kids of my own and I didn't want to lie when the subject was so…."

"Me," I supplied lamely.

"You," she agreed, then, surprisingly, she wrapped an arm around my neck and dragged me in so close that I rebounded off her hips. When I tell you I damn near fainted, it was through the grace of God and the grip she had on me that I didn't collapse. "You and your… strength. I've never seen such a backhanded power in all my years, and here you are, carrying it and suffering through just for the sake of someone else—"

My word this woman next to me was so soothingly warm, the chilling truth to her words couldn't penetrate like they normally did. She wasn't wrong, not by a long shot, but that didn't make me feel any less uncomfortable, being talked about so selflessly, when in actuality—

"All I am is being selfish, ya know," I choked out, praying she wouldn't recoil from me once she realized that I was right. "I just wanna help people 'cause… 'cause no one ever helped me—back then, I mean," I uttered, and even though I wasn't facing her, I could physically feel the way my mom blanched, like my words had somehow struck her. "It's a bad feeling, and when I can help people with this power, I just—it just helps me feel better. Like, hey, I'm not worthless, not like… not like how I was told, that all that pain is… it was actually good for something!" I glanced up at the larger-than-life figure next to me, who was staring down at me without a shred of admonishment; only a tender understanding resonated in her hazel eyes. "I don't deserve praise, Elastigirl, not that kind… I'm just an idiot—"

"—and that's really what being a Superhero is all about in the end," she interrupted gently, and I felt my soul start to slide free when she playfully bumped me with her thigh. "All of us, every Super out there right now, including me… we're all just idiots," she told me. "Because we move without thinking and save people without getting their consent, i.e being a selfish idiot. So you're in good company, Flick. Welcome to the selfish league of extraordinary idiots."

Still seated with her legs crossed, my mom lifted her mug of chilled tea. "Cheers, idiots."

It was my turn to blanch. I was used to being called an idiot, it was practically my nickname back in the day, yet hearing Elastigirl, the iconic woman who paraded through my dreams with far more frequency than I was willing to admit, referred to as such left my ears ringing.

"Well met," Elastigirl chuckled, taking her other hand and thudding herself over the chest with a smile that caused my heart to flutter. It was confident and beautiful in equal strides; just catching sight of it was enough to make anyone believe she was a true hero, that as long as she here, here was safe. "Would I sacrifice myself for Flick?" She nodded stoutly. "I would. Now… will I?" she questioned, glancing down at me. "Yeah, I'm thinking I will."

I blinked. "Wh-what…?"

Silently, my mom set her cup down and brought her hands together in front of her face as if in prayer. I barely noticed her out of my peripheral but I could just make out the slight tremble that shook her fingers. After a shuddering exhale, when she looked up, I expected to see tears or something—because there was this annoying burning sensation in my eyes after hearing that—but no, besides the perpetual weary expression that cloaked her features, she was smiling at us.

"Mrs Selfish Idiot Hero," she began unexpectedly, and I snorted, temporarily forgetting myself, "whenever you decide to leave your husband, your kids, and your entire old life behind and get together with my son, utterly and willfully ignorant to the swift fallout and societal backlash to follow, I would be thrilled to call you my daughter-in-law."

I suddenly made this odd, strangled noise like someone had tried to squeeze a finger between my butt cheeks. The amount of scathing that resonated from my pupils was borderline lethal yet my mom met that look with a devil may care smirk, because she was mom, and I was son, and my looks affected her about as much as a drop of water in the ocean.

God, I know all things in your time but c'mooooon with that lightning, I'm way past ready to leave—

And then, out the corner of my ear, I heard Elastigirl giggle. It was laced with a mixture of exasperation and sincerity, almost as if she couldn't believe my mom had actually said that with her whole chest but found it hilarious. "Should've caught me about a good decade or so ago, back in my younger years, the thrill alone would've gotten me to at least consider it."

The emotional whiplash that Elastigirl kept snatching me into had my neck hurting. She stood next to me, chuckling at my moms wild joke and rubbing behind her head. On one hand, the magnitude of having such a renown Super sharing the same air space as me, willingly touching my person, agreeing to protect me with her life… it was staggering and nausea-inducing—and yet, seeing her now, this was a side of Elastigirl I had never witnessed before.

Always in command on the television, always sounding professional over the radio and airwaves, always public friendly whenever she made an appearance… I guess I kind of forgot that there was an actual person underneath that mysterious mask, that Elastigirl was indeed a woman, and this—this whatever thing she had going on with my mom—it's what we, actual people, did, wasn't it? We told jokes that were inappropriate as hell and laughed about it, one of the many ways we forged connections.

If the weight on my shoulders was threatening to break my collarbone, I couldn't even begin to fathom the burden that Elastigirl carried around simply by doing what she did best. The expectations, the procedures, stretching herself this way and that to appease and galvanize and fortify… and yet, through all of that insanity, she could still find it in herself to smile so serenely like that?

Absolutely unreal.

"I want to protect your smile," I thought to myself, staring fondly at the Super next to me, and I thought it with such unabashed conviction that the words left my lips in the single most sturdiest declaration I had ever given in my short life.

The silence that quickly followed, that cloaked the small kitchen, was so deafening that I thought my eardrums might burst. No one moved in the tense seconds that followed; shit, I totally forgot how to breathe and didn't put much effort into remembering under the weight of Elastigirl's surprised eye, figuring it was best to just die from asphyxiation than have to explain what in the ever-loving hell possessed me to say that.

Don't worry about that lightning, God, I got it—just gonna take myself out.

And just when the black spots began to invade the corners of my vision, heralding the sweet embrace of death, Elastigirl slowly bent down, placing one hand over her knee and taking me by the chin with the other, holding me steady. The expression over her face, that she graced my insignificant ass with, would remain with me until my dying day, the way her lips lifted in the softest smile, and I could feel something close to fondness resonating from the hues of red infiltrating her cheeks; but I didn't want to believe that such a look could be meant for me. Because if so then… that was kind of sad. Her eyes were trained on me so hard they seemed to echo words she had never said, feelings that she had long since buried after they had gone unnoticed and neglected for so long.

I… fuck. She was a Superhero, bred to serve and protect, yeah, but… c'mon, who was there to protect her, to see the glaringly obvious? Or maybe it was because I had gone through similar that I could…? Was that it? Could that be it? Our bond? I kinda hoped not—I didn't want the very thing that could possibly connect the two of us to be based on something so fucked up, but it was clear that my little faux pas had touched a part of her that had been left out in the cold for far too long.

So lost in my own jumbled up thought process and struggling to latch onto a less painful thread that could bring us closer, I didn't realize that Elastigirl had kissed me on the forehead until I felt the soothing warmth of her lips glance over my skin.

She smirked knowingly. "You're going to protect my smile, eh?" She looked over at my mom, who wasn't paying us the slightest bit of attention, apparently finding the slowly revolving ceiling fan far more interesting. "Well now, you might not have to worry about me stealing your sons virginity," she scoffed, clicking her tongue. "One of the more overlooked traits of a true Super is their charismatic one-liners, and that one right there? That was pretty good."

"You don't say," my mom said, reclaiming her cup of tea with a whimsical grin. "Although that really just sounds like a roundabout way of saying he just made your heart flutter."

My mind had long since ground to a halt, stuck trying to process the fact that Elastigirl had placed her lips on my unworthy person, thus leaving me unable to comprehend the current train of conversation, but everything churned back into motion with all the intensity of a whip cracking when Elastigirl merely shrugged, responding with,

"More like a roundabout way of saying that's not the only thing he made flutter."

A spray of tea splattered over the previously clean table top and my mom slapped a hand to her mouth. As I wiped a few stray droplets of tea from my cheek, I almost couldn't believe it when my mom, aghast and embarrassed as she looked in the moment, began to openly laugh. I'll never know what it was that tickled me stupid just then—maybe it was the genuine sound of my mom laughing, finally beaten at her own game, or maybe it was the euphoria knowing my dream was going to come true—but my voice joined hers and we lapsed into quivering fits. God… I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed like this, the soul-cleansing kind that caused tears of a different nature to gather in my eyes.

"That… th-that one w-was good," I got out between dragging wheezes. "You actually got my mom lost with that joke, Mrs. Elastigirl."

Straightening up, Elastigirl fixed me with a quaint quizzical look, turning from me to my giggling mom, then back again, lifting a single brow and placing a hand on her tilted hips. "Funny, who said I was joking?"

I froze, caught in a half-way bent over position, one arm slung over my midsection, looking for all the world like I were suffering from constipation. "Huwuh?"

My mom roared with a fresh round of laughter and tumbled out of her chair with a thud that sounded painful and humorous at the same time.

"And I thought I told you, Flick… to just call me Elastigirl."

A/N: Oh, no, no, no, this story always had a couple more chapters left, it's just life and other stories kept pushing it back. That said, Flicker's journey is alive and well. See ya in three more years. (I'm kidding.) ((Hopefully.))