8 Teenager in love
Being in love was frustrating when the one you're in love with didn't even seem to recognise you as possible love interest. Raven wondered if Severus noticed at all she was a girl and not just a reliable study partner. But he had only eyes for Lily, who clearly wasn't interested in any romantic relationship with him.
Of course, neither Raven nor Severus mentioned their unrequited love. He was a private person and rarely ever spoke about emotions, unless he was angry and the words just burst out. And Raven- well, there were moments she actually wanted to tell him of the feelings she harboured for him, but then he would secretly cast another of those longing glances at Lily, and Raven felt like a fool for even considering to bother him with her affection. She just wished he would look at her the same way, and then she thought about dyeing her hair a flashier shade of red than Lily's- which was, of course, utter nonsense. Fortunately, she was aware of that, which spared her at least the embarrassment. So she kept her love a secret, just like Severus did.
Lily was clueless. She spent most of her time with her giggling Gryffindor girls, chatting about boys. It was new and exciting to see them through different eyes, but it never occurred to her to look at Severus with those different eyes. He was her childhood friend, the boy with mismatched clothes and greasy hair- he was not popular, not presentable, and definitely not someone she could take to Professor Slughorn's Christmas party.
In previous years, she had asked one of her other friends to accompany her. Mary MacDonald, Patricia Goshawk, or Theresa Hipworth- well, the latter was invited anyway since an ancestor of hers had once invented the Pepperup Potion. This year, however, Lily wanted to have a date. She was almost fifteen; it was about time to have a real date.
Since Lily was a popular girl, there was no lack of suitable candidates. Of course she rejected Potter's offer- lately, he seemed to have taken a great fancy to her and was always asking her out, but she hadn't changed her mind about him. He was an immature, arrogant toerag.
At long last, she decided in favour of Ewan McFarlan. He was a seventh year fellow Gryffindor, and he looked really dashing, especially in his Quidditch outfit.
Later, she complained that all he could ever talk about was Quidditch, which made Severus smirk quite gleefully.
Alas, this couldn't undo the hours of emotional turmoil Severus suffered through, that night of Slughorn's party. Nobody in the Slytherin common room had seemed to notice his unrest- and he definitely had a knack for hiding his feelings as he was sitting there among his fellow house mates, stoically listening to their mindless prattle of pure-blood superiority while his heart was bleeding for a Mudblood. But Raven had developed quite a knack for sensing his mood, and it almost pained her physically to watch him, knowing he was pining for a girl who rarely ever wasted a second thought about him- while she would do almost anything to make him happy. She could even live with Severus and Lily becoming an item, if that would make him happy. She doubted it, though.
*
Christmas break was a welcome distraction. At least Raven could listen to her music while being at home, and she knew her mother always had an open ear for all of her problems. Even if she admitted being hopelessly in love with Severus Snape.
Nigella Lestrange smiled and hugged her daughter, running a gentle hand through her hair. "Darling, I think your Sev is an intelligent young man, so he will come to his senses one day and see what a wonderful young witch you are. But real love takes time, my dear, and you are both still very young..."
...and yet you have grown so much, Nigella couldn't help realizing. It seemed just like yesterday that Raven was a tiny human bundle in her arms, and now her little girl was in love for the first time. Oh, she knew about Miguel, Raven's summer flirt, and that they had kissed, but this was different. Probably it would end in a heartbreak, just like most teenage crushes did. One day the kids were head over heels in love, the next they were nearly dying from lovesickness, and just another day later there was someone new and exciting in their life, and they were even more in love...
Nigella wished she could spare her daughter all the heartbreak she would have to endure, but she knew she couldn't. Raven would have to make her own experiences, and this wild and emotionally unstable phase belonged to life; it would form her.
So she turned a lenient ear to the sound of glam rock that echoed through the house whenever Raven was feeling down. Chris arched a quizzical brow at her, but she took his hand in hers and reminded him that he had been young, too.
*
Raven was glad that her parents didn't pester her with common phrases like 'there are plenty more fish in the sea' or other, equally absurd terms of parental sapience. They just let her be but were always there for her whenever she felt the need to talk.
School started again in January, and in January were also the birthdays of her two best friends. It was pleasant to hang around with them again. For the first time in weeks there was no subliminal tension caused by teenage hormones on a rampage, everyone was cheerful. Raven took pictures of both events with her Muggle camera- she didn't like people waving and cheering in pictures, as it was common in the wizarding world; she preferred to capture a scene in all its perfection, even if it wasn't perfect. There was more truth in an immobile picture... a moment of time frozen for all eternity.
And while other kids of her age dreamed about becoming a healer, curse-breaker or Auror, she wanted to become a photographer for Melody Maker or any other music magazine, because then she could go to every concert she liked.
Although Lily thought her a tad weird- why would a decent witch choose a profession in the Muggle world when the wizarding world held so many more interesting chances?- their friendship was still strong. Until February and bloody Valentine's day came. All of a sudden, the older students started to act like imbeciles, frantically looking for the most appropriate date to go to Hogsmeade.
If Severus had believed they would go together like they usually did, he stood corrected when Lily suddenly proclaimed that she already had a date; she would be going to Hogsmeade with Marvin Bode, the Hufflepuff keeper.
One might think now that she hadn't learned anything from her previous date-fiasco with another popular Quidditch player, but she insisted that there were worlds between Marvin Bode and Ewan McFarlan. At least, Marvin had better marks and wasn't talking about Quidditch all the time, therefore he must be intelligent. Also, he was so much cuter, she confessed, not realising how much her thoughtless statement hurt Severus.
Raven would have loved to throttle her. Was Lily really so blind to not get what she meant to Severus? Or had popularity taken its toll on her, that she just didn't care?
Of course, Severus was not as commonly handsome as all the pretty boys Lily liked, but he was unique- and he had the most amazing eyes.
"You know, Sev, we could go to Hogsmeade together," she suggested, after Lily had shattered his plans for the weekend.
He barely glanced at her as he mumbled, "Sure, why not."
Although he sounded quite the opposite of enthusiastic, Raven liked to believe she had an actual date for Valentine's Day.
*
It was a cold day; the ground was still covered with snow and the sun shone from a pale blue sky. The students were wrapped in their warmest robes, wearing scarves, gloves or muffs; their hats were pulled down slightly to shade their eyes. Severus pulled his own hat down even more upon spotting Raven approaching him, because the sight of her blinded his eyes more than the snow reflecting the sunshine.
Lestrange wore something that resembled an orange flokati rug, colourfully striped gloves, and some over-large, green sunglasses. Totally unaffected by the stares or jeers of the other students, she held her head up high as she took his side, smiling at him. Without doubt she was dressed in the latest Muggle fashion, but people here at Hogwarts looked at her as if she had just appeared from outer space. Well, she really didn't seem to belong to the wizarding world- and yet, he somewhat admired her poise, knowing she was quite a bright young witch. And Merlin, she's got some nerve! In times when everybody was carefully trying to hide their Muggle or even half-blood parentage, she didn't shy from showing off with it.
Severus cast a quick glance at Professor McGonagall, hoping she would stop Lestrange from strolling through Hogsmeade in her ridiculous Muggle clothes, but he noticed the professor was only frowning to hide a smirk.
Gryffindors! They always knew how to embarrass Slytherins! Was there still time to bolt up the stairs to the library? But no, Lestrange had already grabbed his arm and was leading him towards the village, babbling about one of her Muggle music groups.
*
Someone was watching that scene and listening to the following conversation- or, more precisely, to Lestrange's words- with fascination, although the person in question would have rather lived a lifetime of celibacy than admit even the slightest interest in a Slytherin girl.
*
The thing Raven liked most about Hogsmeade was that there was no danger of spending much money in the village. Zonko's joke shop was highly overrated; she wasn't keen on magical sweets; she didn't fancy wizardwear, and Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop failed to pique her interest either- Raven always made a mess of herself if writing with a quill. So she saved a lot of galleons that other kids would have wasted here, thinking it the height of cool to buy Dungbombs, Nose-Biting Teacups or Belch Powder. She, however, preferred to spend her pocket money on records.
After all, she was living in the Seventies, in the most exciting decade of the 20th century! It was beyond her that, on the one hand, magic was such a powerful, wonderful thing, and yet the wizarding world was technically not more developed than the medieval times- although it had come up with Nose-Biting Teacups of all the things the world didn't need. And it bugged her tremendously that she couldn't listen to her records at Hogwarts, simply because she couldn't play them without a record player, and sadly that wonderful achievement of Muggle technology was in contradiction with the ancient magic of the castle. But at least they had Nose-Biting Teacups.
Being a witch was maddeningly annoying sometimes! And even more so when the boy she fancied didn't seem to give a damn about her, but was clandestinely looking out for Lily, who was on a date with Marvin Bode.
It occurred to her that Severus had merely accepted her proposal of going to Hogsmeade together because it was so much easier for him to spy on Lily and Marvin with a girl at his side. Now, that was Slytherin attitude at its best.
They were on their way to Madam Puddifoot's when suddenly they heard a group of students leaving the teashop. A girl was complaining loudly.
"But James, why did we have to leave so soon? It was so cosy in there."
"The Three Broomsticks is more fun," Potter replied.
"It is," Sirius Black agreed.
Wondering if the two Gryffindors were even inseparable when going on a date, Raven grabbed Severus' arm and pulled him into the mouth of a tiny alley. She really wasn't keen on having a fight with those bullies now.
Severus struggled because hiding was for cowards and besides, it was nigh impossible to hide anyway. Not with Lestrange's ridiculously orange coat screaming for attention against the pure whiteness of the snow.
"I just don't get it!" Potter grumbled as he walked past Severus and Raven without noticing them. "He's just a mediocre Quidditch player- he couldn't hold a single one of my Quaffles in the last match. What does she see in Bode?"
"Dunno, mate. Girls are difficult."
That statement didn't seem to sit too well with the two girls accompanying them- Sarah Audrey and Patricia Goshawk- who were looking quite sullen. Apparently, they had expected more from going on a date with Gryffindor's hottest boys.
Sarah elbowed Black..
"Ouch! What's up, pet?"
"You asked me on a date. This isn't precisely what I'd call a date," she nagged him. "I thought you wanted to spend some time alone with me."
"But I do, sweet Sarah- honestly."
"Then why are they following us around all the time?" She pointed over her shoulder to Lupin and Pettigrew, who were indeed following the two lovely couples.
Raven could hardly restrain herself from snickering. Poor Sarah- not that she really pitied her, but she could imagine just how much it must suck to go on a date and have Pettigrew of all people lurking in the background, watching everything with his bulbous watery, greedy eyes. He really was a creepy guy.
Involuntarily she shivered, and then she tried to focus on the here and now. Only to shiver again- this time, however, it wasn't with disgust. Quite the opposite, actually. She had just realized how close she was standing to Severus. Raven could sense his warmth, smell his scent- it was somewhat spicy- and all of a sudden she was feeling very light-headed, as if she had swallowed a flock of tiny little dragons that were unfolding their wings in her stomach, breathing fire.
Alas, he moved a step away from her and scowled.
"What was that?" He demanded.
"Just some Gryffindors on a bad date," Raven mumbled absent-mindedly.
His frown deepened. "Yes, I realized that, too, you idiot girl. But why didn't they notice us? After all, that absurd orange fur of yours isn't really unobtrusive."
"Well," the dragons stopped fluttering, tumbled down and stopped breathing, but she shrugged as if she wasn't hurt, "the idiot girl made them not notice us."
"It didn't feel like a Disillusionment Charm."
"Yeah, 'cause it wasn't. Damn, I don't even know if it is a spell, or a charm, or something that simply happens, but it still comes in handy."
"Ah, your little... trick," he nodded insightfully, remembering that day at the lake when they had first talked about her ability to just disappear from sight. Severus eyed her with curiosity now.
Raven wished there would be more in his glance than purely academic interest, that he would finally come to realize she wasn't an uncomely girl.
"I had no idea you could expand it to others."
"Me neither." There was no explanation, no incantation. By trying to avoid another one of those stupid fights with the Gryffindorks, she must have drawn him into her private sphere, and therefore into her big pink bubblegum bubble. It was unintentional magic- or, at least it had been when it had started, since she had control over it now.
Severus proceeded towards Madam Puddifoot's then, and Raven followed in his wake. He stopped in front of the teashop but didn't enter. Instead, he glanced through the window at the incredibly cheesy decoration. Golden cherubs were throwing pink, heart-shaped confetti at young lovers. What others considered romantic only elicited a sneer from him. His face fell even more upon spotting Lily and Bode sitting much too close for his liking, and they were holding hands.
It pained Raven almost physically to watch him watching Lily, and it didn't take long until she grew tired of witnessing his apparent misery. She took a deep breath. Although it wasn't an easy situation for her, either, she decided that wailing was definitely not a solution now.
"Alright," she said, trying to sound as resolutely as possible, "let's give this madness an analytic approach. You like Lily Evans and can't stand to not know what she is doing with Marvin Bode, but watching them makes it all worse. So this leaves two- no, actually three- options. First, and that isn't my favourite choice, you stay rooted to the spot, pining for her. You must admit that that's rather pathetic. Second, we could leave and have a drink elsewhere. Third, we simply walk in there, sit down, order a nice cup of tea and then start snogging madly."
Severus eyes widened, and Raven had to admit that point three was quite a bold suggestion. But while her heart sank under his scrutinizing stare, she faked a smile, playing it down.
"I mean, for spying purpose only. You can't just walk into frill heaven and observe them while everybody else in there is on a romantic overdose. It wouldn't be unobtrusive, you know."
*
Severus had no clue what to make of her words. His eyes raked all over her face, searching for hints. He could tell she was hiding something, but also that she had figured him out. Lestrange knew what he felt for Lily.
For a short moment he felt exposed, even vulnerable... and he didn't like that at all, given that usually, he was quite good at hiding his feelings. Severus wasn't certain he could trust her with that knowledge, because he rarely trusted anyone- on the other hand, she had become quite a good friend, although he definitely had never encouraged her.
He straightened his shoulders in an attempt to loom over her in a threatening way, and came to realize it didn't have the desired effect, for she met his glare with- big blue eyes. Dauntless eyes. Even the looming didn't seem to work any more, given that she must have made a growth spurt in recent years and was standing almost as tall as he. It was mightily annoying.
"You know," Severus drawled silkily, "there is a fourth option: I could still hex you into next year."
"I know," Lestrange replied with an almost innocent smile- considering that mere moments ago, she had suggested to snog him madly. "But wouldn't it be so much nicer to get out of the cold and have a warm drink somewhere?"
It was her logic that undid him. Always so simple, so easy. He cast a last, longing glance at Lily holding hands with Bode. Knowing he couldn't do anything about them, no matter how long he stayed and watched them. In the end, Raven was right. And somewhere deep down in his heart he knew that he could trust Lestrange, although he most definitely didn't want to talk about his affection for Lily Evans.
Fortunately, Lestrange didn't insist on pestering him with mindless questions as they walked back the road until they were on High Street again.
*
The Three Broomsticks looked inviting; a warm light shone from its windows, illuminating patches of snow. But as soon as they opened the door, the two Slytherins recalled why this was not basically a friendly place.
"Oi! Isn't that Snivellus over there?" Raven heard someone call out, and she spotted Potter; he sounded bored and ready for mischief, which was always a hazardous combination. Especially when he was surrounded by his friends.
They were sitting at a table close to the bar, and apparently the outcome of their dates had gone wrong, since there were no girls with them anymore. Sarah and Patricia must have left due to obvious reasons.
"Blimey! Can you believe they let that greasy oddball out to pollute the streets of this lovely town? We have to give an oil-pest warning to the people."
As usual, the one who laughed the loudest was Pettigrew- who would have been shunned by his peers just as easily, given that he wasn't the most agreeable specimen of human kind to behold either. But he was a Gryffindor and part of that infernal quartet.
"Come on, Sev, we really don't need that," Raven said as she placatory tugged at the hem of his sleeves, urging him to leave. They could still have a drink elsewhere.
Perhaps he would have agreed to avoid a confrontation with these gits, if only they had let it be. But when Severus sensed a hex coming his way, he whirled around and brandished his wand at his nemesis. Sparks were shooting up in the air.
"No hexing in my place!" Madam Rosmerta cried out as she stepped from behind the counter, holding her wand in a tight grip. She was a fierce witch, and she wouldn't allow any brawl in her bar. "Any violations of my policy will result in a lifetime ban from this house!"
Sirius Black ceased fire then- he had a very soft spot for Madam Rosmerta- and Raven and Severus were almost already out the door, when all of a sudden Peter Pettigrew sent a Tarantallegra spell after them.
Severus blocked it just as easily. Then the door of the Three Broomsticks closed behind him, but Raven could hear the sharp splintering of wood as if someone had just crashed into a table.
"Oh, you stupid, stupid boy!" Madam Rosmerta cried loudly.
"My feet! My feet!" Pettigrew wailed.
"Snivellus will pay for that!" Potter yelled with grim determination. He tried to rally his fellows to go after Severus, but that merely ended in causing even more havoc. Again the sound of splintering wood was to be heard. Some of the other patrons started to shout angrily at the four Gryffindor boys, who seemed to behave like a bull in a china shop while moaning in obvious distress.
Raven cocked an inquisitive brow at her friend as they leisurely walked away from the Three Broomsticks. If he had hexed them, it must have been non-verbally.
"Just a little jinx," he said with a smug grin on his face.
"Well, I daresay it's bloody effective," she smiled mischievously, "after all, they're not following us."
"Mightily unlikely with toenails the size of Hippogriff talons and still growing."
"Brilliant! Never heard of that jinx."
"I created it," Severus mumbled almost inaudible, although he was quite proud it had worked so well. Now those four Gryffindor buggers would need new shoes.
Raven stopped, hugged him briefly, and laughed out loud; totally enthused by his skills. He was so cool, so very clever. "Is there any chance you might show me how to do that?"
*
"Maybe." Severus pondered her request like any true Slytherin would, weighing the pros and cons. Lestrange knew he fancied Lily Evans, a Mudblood, therefore it would be beneficial to consider her interest in his spells- just to give her something in exchange for not blurting out his secret.
On the other hand, that was not the way Lestrange ticked. True, she was a Slytherin, and as a true Slytherin she definitely had a devious streak; she was also somewhat ambitious. But she seemed to be immune to the power struggles within their house, and she didn't give a damn about gaining recognition among her peers. All in all, Raven Lestrange was... actually quite a good and loyal friend.
He frowned upon realizing that, casting her a sidelong glance. As usual, she was smiling at him.
They walked back down High Street. There was only one more place they could go for a drink, and that was The Hog's Head at the outskirts of the village.
A worn-out wooden sign hung over the door, showing the severed head of a wild boar leaking blood. The windows were nearly blind with dirt, and when the door opened to let people in or out, the strong smell of goats swept over the street.
It was an old establishment, rarely visited by Hogwarts students, although it was cheap. But it was also quite shabby, and together with cheap, that often attracted an interesting clientèle.
The first thing Severus saw upon opening the door were a couple of goats running around the sawdust-covered floor of the inn. Then he spotted Lucius Malfoy sitting at a table with Mulciber and Avery- two boys from his own house- and two other blokes he wasn't familiar with. They were older and much better dressed than the odd Hogwarts student.
What is Lucius Malfoy of all people doing in such a shabby establishment? Severus wondered, watching him chatting amiably with his house mates as if they were really close. He also noticed from the corners of his eyes that Lestrange was somewhat retreating, taking step after step backwards in an attempt to hide behind his pathetically scrawny form.
"Alright, I think I'd better return to the castle now," she whispered and turned to leave, but he stopped her by grabbing her arm, arching a brow at her.
"What's wrong now?"
"Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange. My not-cousins. You know, Sev, I really don't want to have to come up with a story about my imaginative great-great-great-grand uncle- let's call him Hieronymus- the triple-removed cousin of their great-great-great-grandfather, who emigrated to Papua New Guinea in the beginning of the last century, just to find an explanation of why my name is nowhere to be found on their prodigious family tree."
Of course, she was a half-blood just like him. The child of a Muggle stage magician and a witch, and therefore she was definitely not related to them, but she knew quite well how much a perfect bloodline mattered in the Slytherin world. Or how easily one was being called a blood traitor due to an imperfect bloodline...
"Doesn't it bother you?"
"What precisely, Sev?"
"That your dad's a Muggle."
She flashed him an incredulous glance. "No. Not at all. I mean- why should I bother? I love my dad and I don't care about that pure-blood nonsense. It doesn't matter. Both worlds have their assets and drawbacks; I wouldn't want to choose only one and turn a blind eye to the other."
"But-" Severus interjected, then he heard Lucius Malfoy's silky drawl coming from right behind him.
"Hello, Snape."
"Malfoy!" Severus whirled around, glancing at the impressive figure of his former house-mate and head boy of Slytherin, dressed in the finest robes available in the wizarding world, his long hair sleek and shiny. He was every inch a respectable pure-blood, an outstanding personality.
"Please excuse me," Raven muttered as she turned and walked away, slowly, with her head held high.
"Wasn't that the little Lestrange girl?" Lucius asked, staring after her retreating figure; a bright orange blot in the winterly landscape. "She is wearing quite... interesting robes."
Should I fill him in that she is dressed in the latest Muggle fashion, Severus wondered sardonically, but decided against it.
"I am pleased you're finally making friends in your own house, Snape. I know, I know, the Sorting Hat promotes the unity of Hogwarts, and Dumbledore is a Muggle-loving fool," Lucius sneered, "but we shall never forget the memory of Salazar Slytherin, the only one of the founders who dared to stick to the old ways of our race."
"Um..." A little dumbstruck, Severus was pondering about the right words to say now. Of course, Lucius Malfoy was right. Everybody in Slytherin house would agree to that- well, everybody but Raven Lestrange. She always seemed to favour a more modern approach to everything. Somehow he was glad that the rebellious chit had left already, because here was his chance for recognition within Slytherin house.
"I heard you gained Slytherin a fair amount of points due to your academic work," Lucius continued, "and you have quite a deft hand with potions. Splendid." He wrapped a patronising arm around the younger one's shoulder. "Why don't you come inside, young man. Please be so kind and allow me the pleasure to invite you for a drink. I would like you to meet some friends of mine."
Severus was flattered. After all, Lucius Malfoy, the model Slytherin and former Head Boy was paying attention to a lowly half-blood. So he let himself be lured inside the tavern, where he got introduced to Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, two very prominent members of wizarding society.
A mere minute later, a pint of Butterbeer was sitting right in front of him, and Lucius Malfoy assured him in his sophisticated drawl that he was definitely on the right path- whatever that meant. Then, he made quite an interesting proposal. Severus listened closely.
Thanks to Alabaster Princess and hypnotic ink for beta reading, all remaining mistakes are mine.
Feedback is always welcome and very much appreciated.