"Oh God… Wow."
Elliot let out a sigh and finally shifted his weight from where he was comfortably positioned over Olivia to lying beside her. He immediately wrapped his arms around her naked body and pulled her as close to his as possible. They lay, intertwined with each other, in pure bliss. It felt like nothing could ruin the moment, bust the little bubble they were floating in.
"I… umm… Wow," Olivia said, not finding the words to describe what had just happened.
"Liv…" Elliot whispered as he pushed her sweaty hair from her face. Her deep brown eyes were locked on his, and he could see in her eyes that, although he had just shown her how he truly felt, had done what he had wanted to do to her for so long now, she was still hiding something, keeping something from him that he knew could probably destroy this moment.
"I… What… I…" Olivia couldn't form a thought. She tore her eyes from his leaned in and rested her head against his chest. He immediately brought his hand up to the back of her head and held her there lovingly. Olivia, however, had done this so he wouldn't be able to see the tears that were forming in her eyes.
"That was… incredible…" Elliot whispered as he kissed the top of her head. "I… there's no words to describe that Liv… No words to describe what we just…"
This put Olivia over the edge. Her entire body shook and she let the tears flow freely. She wasn't supposed to let her walls down. She couldn't afford to let her walls down. Yet Elliot had come in with a bulldozer and knocked them down, and it would take her a lifetime to rebuild them.
When he felt Olivia tremble in his arms, he knew for sure that something wasn't right, and that he was at fault for that. But what really got him, what broke his heart, is when he felt the drops of water on his chest.
He slid his hand from the back of Olivia's head to just under her chin and lightly brought her look back up towards his. But she fought. She turned her head, trying to hide her pain from him. Elliot knew this, and he could feel his heart clenching when he finally got a glimpse of her sad eyes, sad tear filled eyes.
"Oh Liv… don't… don't cry…" He pulled her once again into his arms, holding her tightly against him, afraid that if he let go, she would disappear, broken up like this. "There's nothing to be upset about…"
Olivia finally let herself look into his eyes. "Nothing to be upset about?" she asked, her lips quivering. She was now looking him in the eye, not caring that he saw her like this. She knew, there was no point in hiding it. "Elliot, this… this is the end for us. Everything we've built together, it ends here. And don't try telling me it won't. We… there's no way things will ever be the same now. There's… no way… We've lost everything…"
Elliot felt like he had been punched in the gut. He couldn't believe, couldn't understand what was going through Olivia's mind. Hadn't she felt what he had felt? Hadn't she realized that it was his intention, that it was clearly obvious that things would never be the same? In her mind, that meant the end. In his, it was the beginning of something new and absolutely wonderful. Would she give him the chance to let her see that?
"Liv…" he whispered as he pulled her back into his arms. "I never meant for this to hurt you… I wanted this to be good, I wanted you to see that I'm ready for things to change between us, that I've wanted this for a long time, and now, now we can have it all Liv. There's nothing holding us back."
Olivia let out a deep shaky breath as she nodded into his chest slowly. "I… Let me… I need to think…"
Elliot nodded as he rubbed his hands up and down her bare back. "Take all the time you need Liv."
He shifted his weight over a bit, but Olivia thought he was doing more. "Don't go El…" she whispered, the emotion clear in her voice.
Elliot kissed the top of her head as he held her as tightly as possible against him. "I'm not going anywhere."
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
The sound of a cell phone ringing is what Elliot and Olivia awoke to the next morning. They didn't even have the time to register the fact that they were still wrapped in each other's arms, after quite the life changing experience, but as soon as Olivia realized where she was she stiffened. Elliot, however, was quite content on how the night turned out.
"Relax Liv," he said sweetly. She nodded into his chest as he grabbed his phone off of the side table.
"Hello?" he said, expecting it to be either of his captains, or even one of boys from the investigation.
"Hello, is this Elliot Stabler?" the unfamiliar voice asked.
"Yes," he said hesitantly. "And who am I speaking to?"
"I am Dr Trainor, of Mercy General Hospital. I need you to come to Mercy right away sir."
Elliot didn't hear anything after Mercy General. He thought the worst. One of the kids had gotten hurt, had been in an accident and were on their death beds. Or… he couldn't think it.
He couldn't think that some perv… he saw it every day. He had three daughters who fit a lot of perv's standards. He couldn't let himself think that one of his daughters would have to go through that.
Oh God, what was going on?
Elliot finally found the strength to ask what was going on. "Is… is it one of my children?"
The doctor was quick to answer. "No sir. It's your wife. She was hit by a drunk driver while walking to her car from the hospital. She has some serious brain damage. You need to come now, we need to discuss what you want to do if she doesn't wake up…"
Kathy. Just when Elliot thought he was done with her, she manages to find some way to drag him back. He didn't know what to do. He knew he needed to go back to New York right away, but as for making a decision… This was going to be hell.
"I'm… I'll be there as fast as I can," he finally answered as he hung up.
He was met with Olivia's worried gaze. "El…"
He let out a breath, and Olivia could tell that although he was shook up, he wasn't in such a terrible shape. "That was Mercy…" he said quietly.
Olivia looked into his eyes. "Oh God Elliot… Is it one of the kids?"
He shook his head quickly. "No… no it's Kathy… We're… technically, since the files haven't all gone through yet…"
Olivia nodded. "Technically, she's still your wife…"
Elliot nodded as he swallowed hard. "And technically, I have to make any decisions regarding her medical state when she can't make them… and she definitely can't make them… Shit… I…"
"El…" Olivia started as she pulled away from him.
"Liv, I may not love her like I used to, like I thought I did, but I've spent a quarter of my life with her and she's given me beautiful children that I love more than anything… I… I have to go… for them at least. For the kids…"
Olivia gave him a sad smile as she let out a nod. "I know Elliot. I wasn't trying to stop you. I was going to say would you like me to call Whelan?"
Elliot nodded as he slowly got out of his bed. He loved how understanding she was, how caring she was. That's when he realized the delicate situation he was in. "Liv… this… this is not how I wanted to wake up… this is not how I wanted our morning after –"
Olivia nodded as she pulled on the clothes that had been discarded the night before back on. "Elliot… let's just forget about it. Your family needs you."
Although he knew she hadn't meant it the way he took it, the words let's just forget about it made his heart ache. He hadn't built the courage to tell her, but as of last night, Elliot Stabler was madly in love with his partner, a love that had been growing over the past twelve years, and because of one phone call, their wonderful night full of passion and love could be all forgotten.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Laurence and Whelan were at the airport when Elliot and Olivia arrived to hop on the private plane back to New York. Whelan gave Elliot a quick reassuring tap on the back.
"I hope your wife is alright. Take all the time you need. We'll figure things out here."
Elliot nodded slowly, not bothering to correct him when he said wife. He had overheard Olivia informing Whelan that Elliot needed to leave Philadelphia because his wife was in critical condition. And the way she had said it… It hurt Elliot to remember the pain, and what sounded like regret Olivia had in her voice. It seemed like things would never work in favor for them.
"I'll tell Carlos you were needed last minute in Vermont or something when I go to class tonight," Olivia said, now standing beside Whelan. "There have been people who have gone alone before…"
The three men looked at Olivia, incredulous.
"Liv…" Elliot almost choked out. "I…"
"You need to go with him Benson," Whelan said. "Like I said, we'll manage things here."
Olivia hesitated. "I… it would be so much easier if I just stayed… it wouldn't be as hard to figure out a solution… and besides, El, your family needs you. I don't want to be a bother and –"
"Olivia," he said, using her full name for emphasis, "I can't do this without you. I need you there with me. And the kids need you. And don't use that bullshit about not wanting to bother the family. You are a part of that family whether you like it or not. Don't do this to me…" he added more quietly.
Olivia saw the pained expression on his face, and whereas the other two would have thought it was due to the circumstances back home, Olivia knew it was due to the circumstances they found themselves in presently. She knew he was hurting because of how things had had to end between them that morning. And although she knew he needed her support right now, she couldn't manage to help him through this without making it hurt her even more. So she figured it was best for both of them if she stepped out of the way until things settled. And also, until she finally figured out what the hell was going on.
"I… I shouldn't… I mean…" and that's when she thought of the kids. They needed someone right now and Elliot probably would have so many things to take care of… "Okay… I… I mean… Someone should… the kids need someone right now. I'll go… be there for the kids."
Elliot nodded slowly. He wished that she was just saying that because Whelan and Laurence were listening. But he knew by the way that she said it that she was telling the truth. She was going for the kids. And that's it.
"Let us know how things go…" Whelan said with a quick wave.
Olivia nodded. "I'll call you tonight Captain."
He smiled sadly. "Okay then."
And with that, Elliot and Olivia were aboard the plane.
"Liv…" Elliot whispered as he sat beside her. Olivia closed her eyes and tried to ignore him, but she just couldn't… he was hurting and she was making it worse.
"Elliot, you need to be thinking about Kathy and the kids right now. They need you more than ever and you can't be thinking about –"
Elliot cut her off. "My ex-wife could be dead by the time I get to New York and all I can think about is how much I wish we could do everything we did last night over and over again. I can't get last night… I can't get you out of my mind. Doesn't that mean something to you?"
Olivia leaned her head against the small window and tried her best to keep her in emotions in check. "Elliot… let's drop this for now. You have enough to worry about."
Elliot was frustrated. "Damn it Olivia!"
Olivia felt one tear escape her eye but made sure it was gone before Elliot could notice it.
And then they were quiet.
A thirteen minute flight had never felt so long before.
"Why did you tell Whelan that my wife was hurt?" Elliot suddenly said over the silence as the plane made its way onto the runway.
"Because she is Elliot."
Elliot looked straight into her eyes. "Legally maybe, but you and I both know that there's nothing more than that there Liv. Why don't you just accept that I'm moving on?"
Olivia let out a sigh. "Elliot, it was easier telling her that your wife was hurt than telling him your ex-wife was hurt."
Elliot gave her a confused look. "What's so complicated about her being my ex-wife?"
Olivia knew she was stuck. It was easier to say wife because it made it that much easier to forget that anything had happened between the two of them. If Elliot were still married, they wouldn't be in this awkward situation. "It just is, okay?"
Elliot didn't know what was happening between them, but he sure as hell knew that if it kept going the way it was going now, they were never to recover from it. He needed to make sure that whatever had Olivia so tensed up about the idea of 'them' was soon forgotten so he could show her just how much he loved her.
And he hoped that the nightmare that was Kathy would soon be overcome and out of his mind.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"Olivia! What are you doing here?"
She had dropped Elliot off at the hospital before anything else. First of all because the doctors needed him there for Kathy's sake, but also because she couldn't handle the heavy silence upon them since arrival and the piercing looks he kept giving her. Soon after having dropped him off, she got a phone call from him informing her that the kids didn't know yet. She told him she'd go by Maureen's and Kathleen's to see if they were home and stop by Lizzie and Dickie's school to pick them up. She suddenly wondered where Eli could be. I hope to God Kathy hasn't handed him over to his biological father. She would make sure she asked Maureen as soon as she found her.
But before she could go find the kids, she decided she needed to stop by the precinct to inform them of what was going on. She also needed the moral support if she was planning on making it through this.
And that's when she ran into Munch.
"Where are Fin and the Cap?" she asked, noticeably nervous.
"Right here," she heard Cragen say behind her and she turned to come face to face with confused faces. "What's wrong Olivia?"
Olivia let out a breath. "Elliot and I are here because Kathy was hit by a drunk driver yesterday and is now in a coma. Elliot may need to make some tough decisions in the next few days or weeks, depending on things go and I think he really needs you guys to help him through this."
"Oh shit Olivia, this sounds bad…" Fin said, while shaking his head.
Olivia nodded. "It is… It really is…"
"Anything," Cragen said, "anything we can do to help, we're here."
Olivia nodded. "Thanks. I… ummm… I need to go find the kids. I'll update you later."
They all nodded and watched as Olivia disappeared back through the doors, expecting the worst.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Elliot sat alone in the waiting room of the ICU. Well, he wasn't alone. There was an elderly couple, a man about his age, a mother with two children in their teens and a nurse. But he felt alone. He felt alone because Olivia wasn't at his side, and he hadn't even gotten a decent goodbye out of her before she hung up. It hurt, but he knew that Olivia had a lot to process right now. He knew it because he did too.
"Family of Kathy Stabler?" a doctor called out, pulling Elliot out of his thoughts. He was about to get up when he saw the man he had noticed when he had first come in get up hesitantly and walk over to the doctor.
Elliot wanted to punch something. The man… he guessed this was the man Kathy had been cheating on him with. He took one look at him and his heart broke as he thought about how much Eli looked like him. It wasn't… it just wasn't fair.
Rather than getting up and going over to the doctor too, he decided to stay seated, listen to what the doctor had to say from afar.
"Are you Elliot Stabler?" the doctor asked the man. Elliot rolled his eyes.
"Umm… no. I'm David Ferguson. I'm… I'm a good friend. I wasn't sure if her ex-husband would come, so I thought I'd be here… for support and all… but… I…"
Elliot watched him squirm. He should feel awkward. Elliot thought he'd just sit and wait for the perfect moment to get up and introduce himself. But that plan was soon trashed.
"Detective Stabler!" one of the doctors he had come into contact often through work said as he approached. "Here for one of your vics? I haven't seen any through here lately…"
Elliot watched as David turned at the name Stabler, then looked back at the doctor, "No, I'm here for personal reasons."
The doctor just nodded. "I hope everything goes well," he said sincerely as he continued on his way. Elliot got up and looked back over to David and whom he guessed was Kathy's doctor.
"I'm Elliot Stabler," he said to the doctor as David went slightly pale and made a gulping sound.
The doctor nodded slowly as he looked back and forth between the two men. "I can… sense some tension. Mr. Stabler, why don't you come with me? You can update Mr. Ferguson afterwards."
Elliot nodded and followed the doctor, but not before taking one last look at his wife's lover. He felt like he should hate his guts, but in all honesty, he really didn't give a rats ass anymore. Things turned out just fine in the end. Or so he hoped.
"I'm Dr Trainor. We spoke earlier on the phone."
Elliot nodded. "How is she?"
The doctor let out a breath. "She is still unconscious, but there is brain activity. There isn't much damage to any of her internal organs, but she probably will be sore for the next little while and slightly confused. It'll probably take her a little while to remember things, she may not remember certain things or even people for a little while. I hate to put this on your shoulders, but she will need someone to supervise her for the next few months, preferable the same one or two people, just to make it easier on her."
Elliot nodded. "I'll figure something out."
The doctor nodded. "She should come out of this eventually. There are no indications that lead me to believe that she won't wake up. She has come a long way since she was admitted a few hours ago, so things are looking good. As for the fetus, there seem to be no issues at all."
Elliot's heart and breathing stopped at the word fetus. "A… a baby?"
Dr Trainor looked slightly nervous. "I hate it when this happens. Your ex-wife is pregnant. I apologize for being the one to deliver the news."
Elliot fell into a chair and tried to make sense of this. "How… how far along is she?"
"About 13 weeks," the doctor answered as Elliot shut his eyes tightly. "Again, I apologize for any issues this may cause."
Elliot nodded. "No… no. This isn't your fault."
"I'll leave you to your thoughts." And with that, he was gone.
13 weeks, Elliot thought. Three months. He let out a dry laugh at the thought. Him and Kathy hadn't had sex since Eli was two. Things had gotten colder between them and they just hadn't put any time or effort into improving their relationship.
But three months ago, on their wedding anniversary, Maureen had forced them into going out. She had taken the twins and Eli with her to her apartment as to give her parents the evening off. They had gone out for supper, and had forced themselves into having a good time. Both frustrated with trying to make an effort, they had opted to going to the bar where they might be able to have a little fun. They both ended up getting absolutely drunk. That's where mistakes were made. When they had awoken the next morning, they couldn't even remember what exactly had happened. But Elliot knew that they hadn't just fallen asleep naked. He knew that they had done something they didn't think they'd need to completely regret. Even though it hadn't changed things between them, he didn't think anything more of it.
But he never thought that, three months later, it could change his life forever.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"Liv!" Maureen exclaimed as she opened the door to her apartment and saw her father's best friend standing there. "I thought you and dad were in Philadelphia? Why are you –" That's when she noticed the look on Olivia's face. "What's wrong?"
Olivia sighed. She didn't want to be the one to have to deliver the news to the kids, but she knew that they needed someone right now, and since that someone couldn't be Elliot…
"Maureen, your mother's been in a terrible accident. She was hit by a drunk driver last night. She's in a coma right now, and the doctors don't know what's going to happen but…"
Maureen stared at her in shock. "What… Oh God… I… that's… I don't know…"
Olivia watched as Maureen stumbled a little bit on her words. "I'm sorry…"
Maureen shook her head. "No… things will be fine. Things are going to be okay and then… and then they'll go back to normal and we can go back to hating her guts. She… she'll be okay…"
Olivia knew this was especially hard on her, considering the fact that the kids weren't talking to her right now because of the situation with Eli and Elliot. But she knew that they still loved their mother and that they would take this really hard if things didn't get better.
"Do… do the others know?"
Olivia shook her head. "Not that I know of… I thought I'd let you know first… I needed to tell you before the others… I knew you'd take this better than the others…"
Maureen nodded. "I'll come with you… to tell the others, if that's what you want… then I'll go to the hospital… see how dad's holding up… That is where he is, isn't it?"
Olivia nodded. "Yeah…"
Maureen nodded. "Kathleen should be in class and the twins should be on their way to school… we can get Kathleen first since it's closer than we'll go get the twins. I just need to call into work, tell them that I won't be in today."
Olivia nodded. Then she remembered Eli. "Maureen… where's Eli? I mean, if he wasn't with Kathy… did she... would he be with his…"
Maureen was going to answer, but she was interrupted by the calling of her name, coming from the little boy in question. "She asked me if I could watch him last night because she got called into work. As much as I didn't want to help her, it wasn't fair to Eli… he is, after all, still my little brother… half or not…"
"He's still as much your little brother as he was before and he always will be, just like Elliot is still his father," Olivia said, which made Maureen smile just the slightest bit.
"I should go get him and then I'll grab some stuff… Oh and I need my phone and I-"
Olivia cut her off. "You get ready. I'll go get him."
"Thanks Liv."
Olivia walked through the apartment to the spare room where she found Eli sitting up in the little bed, tears in his eyes. When he looked up and saw Olivia, his tears stopped and he smiled.
"Libia!" he said excitedly as he stood up on the bed.
Olivia couldn't help but smile as she reached the bed and he jumped up into her arms. With his little arms wrapped around her neck, she hugged him tightly against her. "What's wrong my little Eli?"
He wiped his eyes once again with the back of his hand. "I had a bad dream…" he said as he rested his head on Olivia's shoulder. She rubbed his back slowly as he went on. "Daddy was gone. He din come back home afta work. He din wanna love me anymore."
Olivia's heart broke at the thought of Elliot hearing his little boy's words. She thought about how it had been nearly a month since Elliot had found out about Eli not being his son, and she then realized that he probably hadn't seen him since then. She knew Elliot was hurt, but the poor little boy was stuck in the middle of it defenseless and unsure of what was happening. She wished she could take away all his pain and turn it into happiness. But she knew that this was just the beginning of it all.
"Your daddy loves you very much," Olivia started. "He's just going through a tough time right now and he needs to think about things. But he will be very glad to see you and he'll want to take you to the park and out for lunch and spend as much time with you as possible when everything is okay."
His eyes lit up. "Really?"
Olivia didn't know how to answer that without giving the boy false hope. She knew Elliot loved him, but she feared he wouldn't ever be able to treat him the same way again.
"Liv…" Maureen called out from the doorway, saving her from making a promise she couldn't keep. She looked up and saw the look in Maureen's eyes. It was pain, the same pain she was feeling at that very moment for the innocent little boy.
And the day was just going to get more painful.
.Enjoy!