Five Seconds
Chapter 8: Hallelujah
Authors Note: I do not own anything in the Mass Effect series, it is owned by Bioware and EA (Still waiting on that patch to fix up the ending though *Cough*)
The shuttle ride back to the Normandy was an uncomfortable ordeal. Shepard kept her eyes glued to the ground; Garrus was doing the same while inadvertently looking at her. Jack just stared at the shuttle hatch, and Daemon just stared up at the ceiling. It didn't take a genius to figure out how close she had been to that man named Kaiden, but from the looks of things none of that mattered to Kaiden. While that was no doubt a major part of her pain there was also the feeling of betrayal. When in a battle the people you're fighting with their lives are in your hands, and vice versa, you rely on the man next to you to get through to the next day that in itself makes an unbreakable bond with them, even if they are someone you hate you love them anyways because of that bond. Kaiden had done more than broke that bond; he had torn it and blasted it away without another thought of her feelings.
While it was terrible it had one side effect that went towards his benefit. It kept her from thinking about what happened with Jack and the explosion. There had been no sound, no warning, he had just inadvertently pulled her away from a danger not even Shepard was aware of. He had to be careful around Cerberus, while he had no doubt in his mind that Shepard hated them, Kasumi had shown that no place was private after pulling out more bugs then he thought was possible, one even in the piano which he found after tuning it. It was obvious they were interested in him, who wouldn't be? But if it got out that he had precognitions he had no doubt that he'd end up like Jack in some lab. That being said he wished she would have been distracted in other ways, no one deserved to be put through that.
After what seemed like forever the shuttle hatch finally opened revealing the inside of the Normandy. Without another word Shepard was out of the shuttle and into the elevator before the rest of them could even get up from their seats.
He looked over at Garrus who just sighed, mandibles flaring out as he looked at the elevator murmuring, "She didn't deserve that."
"No one does," He said, he wasn't sure what else to say; looking down at the ground he just shook his head, walking to the elevator. When he walked in he turned around to push a button, seeing Garrus and Jack join him in the elevator.
He watched as Jack pressed the button for the engineer deck, turning her head side to side, practically hearing the cracking of her bones. "I need a drink," She sighed as the door closed.
Garrus did the honors of pressing the button for the crew deck, "I think we all could do with one," He agreed.
He had to agree as well, looking at the two for a moment before he said, "There's a bar on the crew deck."
Jack looked over with a perked brow saying, "No shit really?"
Garrus was surprised as well and said so, "When was that put in and where?"
"In my room, apparently its half-lounge half-bedroom," he answered, shrugging his shoulders. The elevator doors opened wide to the engineer deck, he expected Jack to up and leave.
Instead she just pressed the crew deck button to get the elevator moving again. She must have caught the slight twitch of his brow cause she just shrugged saying, "I'm stealing shit from your room."
He couldn't help but smile a little at that, shaking his head just slightly before the door finally opened to the crew deck. He decided to take the lead, turning left, walking into his room.
Like always Kasumi was nowhere to be seen, not like that meant anything. On one or two cases he thought he was getting dressed alone when an unseen voice would ask, "Anyone tell you you've got a nice ass?" He would then wrap himself around the waist and either wait for her to leave, or just get dressed beneath the blanket. It was silly he knew, having dressed and undressed in front of women before in the military, but back then they didn't look him up and down like he was a steak…at least he didn't think so.
"Shit you're loaded!" Jack said in what might have been the happiest tone she ever gave, moving behind the bar as she looked through the selection.
"Thank Kasumi for it, all of these things are hers," He said as he just stood there, watching the convict as she grabbed one or two bottles.
"She plays the piano?" Garrus asked as he looked around the room before looking over at Jack, "If there's turian brandy I'll take that."
Jack looked around before she grasped another bottle, tossing it over to Garrus before she sat down on the bar table saying, "Only pussies would play a piano."
He looked at her for a long moment, before his eyes looked back to the piano. He wasn't sure what came over him, but the next thing he knew he was sitting on the piano bench, looking down at the keys. A song came to his head, it was sad, soft, fitting he felt for the situation. His fingers sliding over the keys before he started to play, the tone of the piano pure as he started to sing softly:
I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah…
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
His mind went back to when he used to play the piano back home, his family sitting near the fire place in silence, and the warm arms that wrapped around his neck as he played, the feel of her hair against his face. He felt something wet and warm slide down the side of his cheek.
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah…
His eyes were so focused on the keys he felt like he was back at home, those warm arms around his neck. The warmth of the fire warming his bones.
Baby I've been here before
I've seen this room I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah…
His fingers moved without a thought from his mind, pouring his pain and sadness into the keys.
There was a time when you let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya?
But remember when I moved in you
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah…
He had to take a slow deep breath to keep himself from falling apart, the ivory keys felt wet beneath his finger tips from the tears sliding down his face.
Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew ya
It's not a cry you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah…
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah…
His fingers carried on the rest of the tune before they finally stopped, his hands resting on the keys. His arm rised up, wiping his face, feeling the dampness on his arm before he finally looked over his shoulder, eyes widening.
It wasn't just Him, Jack, and Garrus in the room anymore. Gardener, Chakwas, Kasumi, Miranda, some of the other crew, and right behind them all he caught the sight of Shepard, who had her hand over her eyes.
The silence in the room was heavy and he wasn't sure if there were any of them that had a dry eye. He couldn't see Jacks face, her back was to him. Soon the silence got so awkward that Miranda of all of them had to wipe her face and say, "Back to your posts." Before she turned, leaving the room rather rushed.
Soon everyone started to leave until Shepard, Garrus, and Jack remained. Shepard just looked him in the eyes, mouthing the words 'Thank you' before she started to walk away, Garrus quickly getting up and following right after her.
Soon after it was just him and Jack, he could see her fingers playing with the edge of a bottle, her face still hidden from him.
He couldn't stand it anymore and just out and said, "I guess I'm the kind of pussy that plays the piano," joking before he coughed.
She seemed to flinch slightly at that, her head turning further away from him before she suddenly got up, "Thanks for the booze," she said in a harsh tone, suddenly walking towards the door.
"Jack wait," He said, getting up he almost expected her to just keep going, but she stopped, waiting. An idea had been playing about in his head, he didn't trust Cerberus, and he couldn't keep denying it, he needed help, "Will you teach me how to use biotics…please," he asked, eyes staring at the back of her head.
She said nothing for a long time before she just walked out of the door, leaving his question unanswered.
The bottle was slick in her hands, or was that the sweat from her palms? Shit she had no idea. She couldn't pull her eyes away from him when he first started to play. She thought he was just going to be a smart ass and try to play, and then…that came out and she had to eat her own words. He was doing more than just playing, it was as if he was bearing a bit of his soul and tearing her own out for everyone to see. He wasn't being a pussy…he was brave enough to show something so vulnerable, something she was too much of a chicken shit to do.
"I love you Jack…I'm sorry…We were going to have a house…I'm sorry that isn't going to happen…" His voice invading her skull, images of his face, why did he have to come back for her? If he had just left her to fucking die she would have been fine with that, but he risked his life to save her, why did it have to be him?
She shook her head fiercely, hearing the ding of the elevator; she blinked her eyes rapidly, staring out at the engineer deck. She must have done it unconsciously, she needed to get her mind off of them, the man of the past and the man with green eyes and a voice that stuck in her head longer then she was comfortable with. She looked down at the remedy for her thoughts, the bottle of alcohol swishing in the glass as she walked down into her hiding place. The bottle half empty by the time she was sitting on her bed, letting the alcohol and red light fill her brain. The last thing she thought before she fell into a drunken stupor was, "'Teach me how to use biotics…'" She scoffed, "Imagine me as a teacher…" She laughed herself to sleep.
Shepard walked into her room, "Garrus I'm fine," She said as she kept her face hidden from him. Walking down the steps she threw herself onto her bed, burying her face in her pillow.
"I might not know human behavior as well as the next guy, but burying your face in a pillow is a vid cliché that means 'I'm not fine'", he protested. She couldn't see where he was, but from the sound of his voice he sounded like he was near the edge of the bed.
She raised her head up just slightly, resting her chin on the pillow as she stared at the wall, "I can't believe my own friend…my own boyfriend didn't trust me…practically hated me," she murmured.
"Some people change as time goes on…I guess he just changed the most," Garrus said, she felt his weight sink a part of her mattress as he sat down.
"You didn't, did you?" She asked, looking over her shoulder at him, her storm grey eyes blinked at him.
He didn't answer for a moment, looking down at the ground as he sighed, "I don't know." He looked over at his clawed hand reaching out, brushing a bit of her hair away from her face, "Get some rest, we still have Collectors to kill," he said. Standing up he left the room, leaving her to her thoughts.
"I hope none of the others have changed…" She thought to herself before her omni-tool beeped, raising her arm up she saw the mail icon blinking. Reaching out she pressed the button, the screen popping up in front of her eyes, it seemed the Illusive Man had three more dossiers for her, an assassin, a Justicar, and…Tali? She guessed she'd be seeing if she had changed.
He sat at the bar, a cup of whisky in his grip, his wrist slowly turning the ice in the glass before he took a sip. It was a long shot he knew to ask Jack to help him with his biotics, but she was the only person he trusted and was non-Cerberus to boot.
"What you played was beautiful," Kasumi's voice came from behind, slipping onto the chair next to him, her palms resting on the bar counter. "Who taught you how to play?" She asked.
"My father did at first," He answered, his hands rubbing the glass between his palms before he took another sip. "We had a piano in the basement of our house…he and I would spend hours down there when I was young," He said looking over at the piano, picturing those times together, he missed his father, his sisters, what he would give to see them again.
"I see…" Kasumi said, reaching out she patted his arm, it wasn't one of intimacy he knew that, his eyes looking at hers from beneath the hood. "Maybe you'll get to see something of home again?" She asked before getting up, leaving the room.
He wasn't sure what she meant by that, looking down at his whisky glass before he brought it to his lips, drinking the rest of its contents before setting it back down on the counter. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that whatever was left of his home was long gone.
His omni-tool suddenly beeped, looking down at it he caught the email icon blinking on his tool. His finger pressing it as the screen popped up into view. It wasn't an email of words, rather one of a picture. A picture that made him light headed, it was an aerial view of a piece of land and a house…a house known to him all too well. It was his home…170 years older.
Authors Note: This chapter is a little short I know, but the next chapter will be longer promise! I do not own the song done in this story, it is called Hallelujah. A beautiful song if you haven't heard it before. Please review!