a/n: I'd like to thank my wonderful betas, hynnotic inc and Alabaster Princess for making this work. Also, thanks to all my reviewers and to everybody who put 'Children' on their subscription/favourite list.
Everything you recognise in this chapter is taken from OotP, Snape's Worst Memory or DH, The Prince's Tale.
14- More Unchartered Heights of Disgrace
He had been so close to getting the Marauders expelled and now the situation was even more desolate than before. Instead of receiving a reward for discovering that there was a dangerous werewolf at Hogwarts, Severus had let Dumbledore muzzle him and was not allowed to speak about this incident. Also, he had been put into detention for being out after curfew.
Life wasn't fair, but that wasn't anything new to him; it was a fact he had known all his life.
Therefore, he had to hide all of his unwanted emotions in the deepest, darkest corner of his mind. Weakness wouldn't get him anywhere. He had to distance himself from Lestrange and her embarrassing hug, because that chit was making him grow soft with all her sentimental drivel about friendship. The last thing he needed now was to be cuddled by a girl and hear about peace and love- the Dark Lord had not become an enigmatic, powerful and mightily influential wizard by being the cuddling kind of man. No, not at all. Severus knew he had to be strong when maybe one day he was going to stand face to face with the Dark Lord again; he would need all his wits and Slytherin traits. But he would never make it into the ranks of the Dark Lord if he allowed himself to become the laughing stock of Hogwarts... and news spread rapidly. Only a day after the werewolf incident the whole castle seemed to know what had happened, that James Potter of all people had heroically saved Snivellus Snape from 'unspecified dangers', risking his own life. It was so absurd!
The rubies in the Gryffindor hourglass kept trickling down until they reached a new height.
But by then, Severus had already restored his reputation for knowing loads about the Dark Art. He had also told his house mates, Mulciber and Avery, a different story about the events, one that cast a more positive light on his exploits. Of course, that strayed just as much from the truth as the official version... but truth didn't seem to matter anyway; it was a changeable, bendable thing. It depended on what people wanted to believe in- or else somebody would have come up with the all-dominant question what precisely those 'unspecified dangers'were that Severus had apparently faced or why Potter had not feared them. Or perhaps the innate need of a Gryffindor to jump headlong into danger was so well established in wizarding society that nobody dared to question it?
It didn't matter either that Severus enjoyed Lestrange's company more than that of Mulciber and Avery. They were imbeciles, albeit very influential imbeciles because they were backed by strong pure-blood families. He needed them. In times when nearly everyone at Hogwarts stared at him, snickering, calling him Snivellus, he needed their respect that he had so hard fought for.
Needless to say, Severus' withdrawal hurt her like a stab in the heart, but Raven tried to be an understanding friend and just let him be. He wasn't someone who opened his heart to just anybody, and he had sort of shown her a very emotional, very vulnerable side of him that night. Perhaps he needed a break now, needed to hang around with the boys instead.
So she let him roam.
However, he erred tremendously if he thought her a gentle, peace-loving person. Her mind was filled with ideas on how she could teach the Marauders a lesson and take them down a peg or two. Black had tried to kill her best friend; Potter had hastened to not let that happen (for his friends, to save their necks- not because it was the right thing to do)... and Pettigrew had probably wetted himself with excitement. Too bad she could not accuse them openly. After all, she wasn't even supposed to know that Lupin was a werewolf, let alone to share his secret.
So she had to be very discreet, as cunning as a true Slytherin.
With a devious smirk she picked up the book she was currently reading and flickered through its pages. Confessions of a Hag by Malodora Grymm. The hag was known to be a dab hand in beautification potions, but even more so for her skilful ways in dealing with faithless lovers. Of course, the curses she described were probably not Ministry-approved but decidedly very inspiring.
Surreptitiously, Raven walked the corridors, looking for the Marauders. Waiting for the perfect opportunity to hex them one by one. Nobody noticed her.
Almost softly she whispered the incantation, Phthirus pubis evello. First, she hexed Pettigrew. Then, later that day, Potter, Lupin and Black. Nothing happened. The boys acted their usual way, being much too full of themselves. Well, that was exactly what she had intended...
Severus met Lily outside the castle at a courtyard, all neat pillars, arcades and roses. He'd been pleased she wanted to see him, but soon their erstwhile pleasant conversation turned nasty when she started nagging about the people he was hanging around with, Mulciber and Avery.
"...I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber. Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy. D'you know what he tried to do to Mary MacDonald the other day?"
To be honest, he had no clue. Nevertheless, he said, "That was nothing. It was a laugh, that's all," because even Mulciber wouldn't be so daft to cast an Unforgivable at Hogwarts, only to see a girl's knickers.
Lily leaned against a pillar now, glancing up to him with these wonderfully sparkling green eyes of hers, but a frown marred her beautiful face. Apparently that was not what she wanted to hear.
"It was Dark Magic and you think that's funny?"
"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?"
"What's Potter got to do with anything?"
Here we go again! He growled inwardly, wondering why Lily refused to see the truth. "Just think about it, Lily. They sneak out at night. There's something wrong about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"
"He's ill. They say he's ill."
"Every month at the full moon?" Severus arched a quizzical brow at her. Now that was about the broadest hint he could give her and yet she failed to get it.
"I know your theory," Lily said coolly. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"
He wanted to make her understand but his words were kind of fruitless and fell on deaf ears. Lily didn't want to hear anything he said, and Severus clearly failed to get that hint.
In Lily's world, things were either black or white, they were good or they were evil. There were no shades of grey.
"They don't use Dark Magic, though." It seemed to be her favourite argument when it came to the eternal battle between Gryffindors and Slytherins. No matter what the Marauders did, at least they didn't use Dark Magic. "And you're being ungrateful," Lily continued. "I heard what happened the other night. You were sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there-"
"Saved? Saved?" Severus spluttered incredulously and his face contorted with anger. Was Lily really too blind to see? Why did she not ask him what it was that Potter had to heroically save him from? Why didn't she wonder why Potter had been there at the right time? "You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too!" If they were best friends, why did she not believe him? Like Raven did. Instead, it seemed as if his worst fears were coming true. "You're not going to- I won't let you-"
"Let me? Let me?" Lily's eyes narrowed dangerously, causing Severus to take a step backwards. He mumbled an apology; he hadn't wanted to upset her. But didn't she see? James Potter fancied her! And his dislike, his hatred and bitterness, rendered him almost incoherent. He wanted to protect her. Potter wasn't as wonderful as everyone thought, although he was the Big Quidditch hero. He was a bully, a rule-breaker...
"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag. I don't need you to tell me that," she cut him off, and upon hearing that, Severus relaxed visibly. Lily started heading back towards the castle and he followed her with a new spring in his steps.
All is not lost, he thought, still hoping that one day Lily would be his. And so he chose to ignore her comments about Mulciber and Avery. They weren't really his friends, therefore it didn't matter if she approved of them or not, nor that she called their idea of humour evil. The Marauders weren't any better, and she had just stated that Potter was an arrogant toerag.
And yet, it bugged him tremendously that she had called him ungrateful- without ever asking him about his version of the incident. Thinking about it, he realized she hadn't even asked him whether he was alright. Raven had been more understanding than his best friend. On the other hand, he was practising Legilimency and Occlumency with Lestrange, so probably that was the reason.
"What's bitten you?" Raven asked when Severus sat next to her for dinner that evening.
He mumbled something unintelligible which could be interpreted as 'mind your own business'', before he viciously attacked an innocent chicken leg with his fork.
She contended herself with rearranging the peas on her plate while unobtrusively observing the Gryffindor table. A wry smile curled up her lips when she spotted Pettigrew starting to scratch his private parts.
"So it begins," she whispered
Severus glanced at her but she didn't deign to fill him in. At the Gryffindor table, some girls were giggling as they pointed at Pettigrew.
"You're disgusting!" One of the girls shrieked.
Pettigrew blushed. Then he got up and fled the Great Hall.
Raven started humming a tune from one of her favourite Muggle bands.
The next morning, Peter Pettigrew was missing in class and now Potter was showing the very same symptoms as his house mate. Professor Slughorn tried to crack a jovial joke before he dismissed the boy with the advise to go and visit Madam Pomfrey.
Apparently Lupin had fallen ill, too (and this time it was not due to the moon) because at lunch only one of the Marauders was left. But not for very long. Soon he also started scratching his genitals.
Severus arched an inquiring brow at Raven. Was that her doing? She smiled very innocently at him.
Later that day in the Slytherin common room, Regulus Black was bursting with news- the Marauders were infected with crab lice.
"Lice?" Raven asked, again much too innocently for Severus to not suspect her of having something to do with it. "Were they close to animals?"
"That would be fleas, Lestrange," Regulus informed her in a haughty tone, and she looked surprised.
"Oh... I see... so that means they're having problems with personal hygiene?"
Mulciber and Avery laughed. Regulus rolled his eyes. Sometimes his fellow house mates very really slow on the uptake. "Folks, I'm talking about crab lice. You don't get them from cuddling with animals. They are transmitted through shagging!"
"Whoa, these Marauders seem to share everything, even the same girls!" Wilkes, a sixth year concluded .
"Or," Raven gave to consider, "they are so close they share not only the same dormitory..."
"You mean they are buggers?" Avery asked scandalized, and probably it was truly a scandalizing thought for a pure-blood.
Regulus shrugged. "You know, it wouldn't surprise me, given that my worthless brother keeps on talking about his dear friend Potter all the time when he's at home. Drives my poor parents crazy with all his 'Potter said this, Potter did that.' And he's rubbing it in their faces that the Potters are also of pure blood- without ever getting what that really means. Blood traitors, that's what they are. Of course they support Dumbledore, the champion of commoners, of Mudbloods and Muggles-"
"Yeah, and probably he also supports sodomites!" Mulciber threw in, shuddering.
The boys discussed this possibility sufficiently but Severus didn't join in. He couldn't have cared less about the Marauders' sexual preferences or if they were having an orgy in their dormitory every night. That was still no reason to get them expelled. A headmaster who tolerated a werewolf at his school would also tolerate a bunch of buggers, if they happened to be his favourite students.
He glanced at Raven, wondering what curse, spell of hex she might have used. She was a sly little witch and he silently congratulated her for this devious, clever move. The way she had so innocently steered the conversation in the direction she wanted it to take was decidedly Slytherin. Gossip spread quickly at Hogwarts and he knew that this talk would not stay within the Slytherin common room.
Severus was right. For almost two weeks most students gave the Marauders a wide berth. But the gossip ended when Gryffindor won the last Quidditch match of the season. All of a sudden, Potter was their hero again and all the girls gave him doe eyes.
Not Lily, though. She still called him an arrogant toerag and was not impressed by his continued wooing.
Another term was coming to an end, and this one was very important for the fifth years since they were soon to sit their OWLs. Even the Marauders desisted from hexing other students for the fun of it and visited the library more often than usual, although Potter and Black could simply not refrain from hexing Severus whenever they had the opportunity. It was like a compulsion to them, an obsession. But Severus gave as good as he got, and most of the times he was backed up by Raven. Grudgingly, he accepted her interference... there was no way to stop her anyway.
Then the exams started.
History of Magic went very well for Raven, but she was almost certain to have failed Astronomy. It didn't matter since that wasn't essential to her aspired Auror career. Transfiguration, however, was a totally different topic. She had to pass it with 'acceptable' at least, or she could forget about ever becoming an Auror. It wasn't the theory that gave her the creeps- she was quite good at that- but she really, really dreaded the practical test. Mainly, because she saw no point in turning a hedgehog into a hairbrush... or anything like that. It simply didn't sit right with her to transfigure a living being, even if it was merely a spider or a cockroach, into an inanimate something- whatever- only because she was capable of doing so. But what about the trauma of the poor hedgehog if all of a sudden it found itself turned into a hair brush?
Of course, that attitude had granted her a lot of laughter in class. And she had argued with Professor McGonagall about the necessity of transfiguring an animal into an inanimate something on several occasions.
Fortunately, she still had some time before the practical Transfiguration test. This morning, Raven had to sit her Defence against the Dark Arts exam, and she was well prepared.
The exam, like all the others, took place in the Great Hall where the four house tables had been replaced by small desks and at each of them a student was sitting. Sunlight was streaming through the windows but no one seemed to notice that as all heads were bent over the examination papers.
Raven relaxed when she read the questions and realized she could answer them all. For a long time, the only sound to be heard was the scratching of quills, the rustling of parchment and an occasional sigh. Then the examiner, Professor Flitwick, announced, "Five more minutes!"
She read her writing over and was satisfied with it, so she looked around. Raven saw Black lounging in his chair, tilting it back on two legs with his casual arrogance as if he wasn't taking his OWLs all too seriously. Bloody poser. After all that had happened, she couldn't believe she had ever found him attractive- well, at least his bum...
"Quills down please. That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!"
Rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and then at Professor Flitwick. Since he was a very small wizard, the amount of rolled up parchment knocked him off his feet. Some students laughed, but a few at the front desks hurried to help him up again. They wouldn't get extra points for that.
Raven left the Great Hall, looking for Severus. She spotted him a short distance away, still absorbed in his exam papers, but then the stream of students heading for the entrance door carried him away from her before she could speak to him.
She was also on her way outside to the grounds when she heard Black's voice.
"Did you like question ten, Moony?"
"Loved it," Lupin replied.
Raven frowned. So they called Lupin Moony? Very amusing, given that he was a werewolf and nobody was supposed to know. Also, one of the questions had been about werewolves, but she wouldn't vouch for it having been the tenth question. It appeared to her the Marauders were downright careless with their friend's secret. Of course, that devil-may-care attitude was very typical for them, and probably they thought it funny to crack jokes about Lupin's condition.
Lily had left the castle with her Gryffindor friends. Now they were relaxing at the edge of the lake. They had taken off their shoes and socks and were cooling their feet in the water while talking over their latest exam. But soon their conversation turned to what they considered more important than academics. Boys. And one in particular.
"I just don't get it Lily!" Theresa Hipworth exclaimed. "Why don't you want to go out with James Potter? I mean, he's kinda cute, and he's the best Quidditch player Gryffindor ever had. Oh, look, there he is."
She pointed to a beech tree, in which shade the four Marauders were resting. Something golden reflected in the sunlight, something that Potter was playing with. It was a Golden Snitch. Theresa almost swooned with admiration.
"Well, I would certainly not hesitate if he asked me. Alas, he has only eyes for you, Lily."
"I am not interested," Lily said resolutely. "He acts very immature."
"Come on, Lily," Patricia Goshawk interjected, "You can't tell me he's not sexy in his Quidditch kit."
Lily giggled coyly. "Yeah, but he's also an arrogant toerag and the way he messes up his hair as if he's just gotten off his broomstick is ridiculous..." She fell silent and frowned since there was something happening near the beech tree. James and Sirius had drawn their wands and were apparently hexing someone- Severus.
Her friends noticed that too.
"Relax, Lily," Theresa told her, "it's only Snape."
"What do you see in him anyway?" Sarah Audrey, the only Ravenclaw in the group, joined in. "True, he has his bright moments, but- but you, you could go out with James Potter, the height of coolness next to Sirius Black! And yet you're hanging around with that Snape boy. He's greasy! I don't understand why you even talk to him."
"We were friends long before I came to Hogwarts," Lily explained. "He was the first one who knew I was a witch and he told me all about magic..."
She was still watching what was happening. A small group of students had gathered around the Marauders and Severus, laughing at him being hexed by his nemesis. Apparently he had lost his wand in the course of events. Lily could hear Peter Pettigrew snickering shrilly while Severus was trying to get to his feet. Then he doubled over again.
Lily saw pink soap bubbles coming from his mouth as he gagged and choked- she had do to something. After all, she was a prefect and the Marauders were breaking the rules. It wasn't allowed to hex other students on the grounds or in the corridors, and most certainly it wasn't allowed to almost suffocate another student with a Scouring Charm.
"Leave him ALONE!"
Potter ruffled his hair. "All right, Evans?"
"Leave him alone," Lily repeated, totally unimpressed by his suddenly deeper, more pleasant voice. He almost sounded mature and yet she looked at him with great dislike. What's he done to you?"
"Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean."
So much about maturity, Lily thought disappointed. She had almost believed Potter could be decent. Strangely, most of the surrounding students found his reply very funny since they were laughing. Only Lupin remained silent; he was staring at his book.
Lily told Potter what she thought of him, that he was just an arrogant, bullying toerag, and again she asked him to leave Severus alone.
"I will if you go out with me, Evans," James said as if he didn't understand the meaning of arrogant, bullying toerag- or perhaps he thought it a term of endearment. "Go on... go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."
Potter was asking for a date. Potter possessed the nerve to ask her out! "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a chance between you and the giant squid."
"Bad luck, Prongs," said Black. Then he whirled around because the Impediment Jinx they had on Snape was apparently wearing off. The Slytherin was spitting out soapsuds as he slowly crawled towards his fallen wand. "OI!"
Black's warning bark came too late. Severus had already retrieved his wand and was aiming it at Potter now. A flash of bright light shot from his wand tip... then Potter was bleeding from a gash at his cheek. The cut wasn't deep, but when James touched his face in surprise and saw his fingers were stained with blood, he reacted immediately.
A moment later, Severus was dangling upside down in the air with his robes falling over his head. He was showing a pair of long, pale and skinny legs- and his greying underwear.
The Marauders- except Lupin (who was still staring at his book in embarrassment)- were roaring with laughter, and their audience cheered. More and more students had gathered to watch the show, definitely considering it worthy to miss lunch. Even Lily's lips twitched slightly.
Raven was smoking a cigarette- a habit she had taken on after the mysterious death of her relatives. After sitting her Defence against the Dark Arts exam, she had been eager to get out of the castle and relax for a while. So she had walked to that remote spot at the shore of the black lake where she often sat with Severus, studying, and of course she had hoped he would join her there. But apparently he had chosen a different place to go over his exam papers...
All of a sudden she heard the erupting roar of laughter coming from the other side of the lake where most of the students liked to sit. Something was going on, she just knew that- she would always recognise Pettigrew's spiteful snickering.
Raven jumped to her feet and drew her wand, then she started running, leaving her shoes and books behind. She could still fetch them later.
It soon became obvious that Severus must have run into the Marauders and they were bullying him again. Damned! He was hanging upside down in the air and everybody was watching, cheering, laughing- but no-fucking-body helped him. That was so bloody typical. No one dared to stand up to the Marauders. Naturally, his fellow Slytherins only seemed to care when they wanted something from him (like copying his essays) otherwise they preferred to mind their own business.
Then Raven spotted Lily's red mane shimmering in the sunlight. Apparently she was the only one who didn't think the Marauders treatment of her friend very funny- or she was just doing her prefect job.
"Let him down!" Lily cried.
Potter obeyed. Severus crashed down hard and landed in a heap of crumbled robes. He struggled to get back to his feet as quickly as possible, but then Black aimed his wand at him and Severus keeled over again motionless on the ground.
These bloody bastards! Raven thought, wishing she could do something, anything. Alas, she was still too far away to fire any curses at the Marauders and besides, what could she do against them anyway? Of course, she'd love to torture them with the Cruciatus Curse- but that idea wasn't particularly helpful either since it would only land her in Azkaban. There really should be exceptions concerning the use of Unforgivable Curses, especially when the Marauders were involved...
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily had finally produced her wand to underline her words.
Again, Potter seemed to obey her- or perhaps he merely wanted to appear gallant (it was common knowledge that the berk fancied Lily).
And again Severus was face down in the grass, wandless.
"You're lucky Evans was here," Potter taunted him, "Snivellus-"
Clearly, Severus didn't think when he spat, "I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"
Of course, that wasn't a nice thing to say. It was a derogative term used by pure-blood supremacists... and therefore common vocabulary in Slytherin house. And he... he was very, very frustrated, angry and deeply humiliated.
"Fine," Lily said coolly, "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if were you, Snivellus."
Oh bugger, Raven thought aghast, now that one was decidedly far, far below the belt. Although she understood Lily's infuriation, her insult was much more personal than just calling someone Mudblood. After all, there were many Mudbloods but only one Snivellus. Also, Lily knew Sev's family background better than anyone else, Raven included, and therefore her snide remark about his pants was worse than the use of any derogative term.
Potter begged to differ, though. He threateningly pointed his wand at Severus and demanded an apology.
"I don't want you to make him apologise! You're as bad as he is!" Lily yelled at Potter, who looked dumbstruck.
Meanwhile, Raven had finally reached the scene of events and was in hexing range. But instead of jumping headlong into a fight she was unlikely to win all on her onesies, she glanced around. So many students had gathered here to watch the fun- wasn't there any Slytherin with a backbone? Someone, who was willing to defend a fellow house mate? Was Severus really so unpopular that everybody preferred to watch him being bullied and humiliated?
She spotted some Slytherins nearby and approached them...
"You make me SICK!" Lily ended her little tirade of all the things she despised about Potter, then she turned on her heels and ran away.
"Evans!" He shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"
But Lily didn't look back and Potter didn't follow her. Instead, he glanced at his best mate, trying to sound as casual as possible. "What is it with her?"
"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," Black replied.
"Right." Potter looked furious now, but fortunately there was still Snivellus to vent his wrath on, and a casual flick of his wand later, Severus was once again hanging upside down in the air. Potter turned his head to see if he still had an audience- yes, he had, although some students must have gone to lunch, but at least the girls (including Evans) weren't far away. "Right- who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"
The general response was overwhelming. Of course, there were some (the usual spoil-sports) who did not cheer, but overall he felt very much affirmed in his doings. Until a bare-footed witch, smeared with blotches of ink (apparently she was incapable of writing properly with a quill) stepped forward, challenging him... with what? With her ink blotches? True, her toe nails were painted in quite an offending way, glittering in purple, orange and green, but...
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," she said threateningly.
Potter laughed out loud. This was just ridiculous. The Fat Crow was stupid, even for a Slytherin. Did she not know that she stood no chance against him? That moment, he noticed the small group of Slytherins backing her up in silent determination.
Raven had grabbed a couple of Slytherin students by the sleeves of their robes, and had sort of forced them to listen to her because she was addressing them personally. "You call yourselves proud Slytherins and yet you let it happen that one of your house mates gets bullied mercilessly by some Gryffindorks? Avery, do you still want Snape to do your bloody essays? Wilkes, you're not generally an uncaring arsehole, so move your arse now! And you, Black, do you want to pay your dear brother back in kind, or do you prefer to always be at the receiving end of his so-called humour?"
But he's my brother, Regulus thought. When they were younger, he had admired Sirius. They had loved each others like only brothers did. Of course, that was long over; it had ended the day Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor and caused his mother so much trouble. Nevertheless, there was a rule- more like an unspoken arrangement- not to hex each other even if there was lots of taunting at both sides.
Regulus shrugged. Well, I don't have to hex Sirius when there are other Gryffindors...
"Why don't you mind your own business, Fat Crow?" Potter sneered at Lestrange.
"We're sick and tired of your bullying, Potter," she replied evenly. "We're not gonna take it anymore."
"Expelliarmus!" Regulus yelled before Potter could aim his wand at Lestrange, and he took great delight in Sirius' eyes growing wide with surprise. Perhaps this was going to be more fun than expected.
Sirius watched James' wand fly out of his hand and he gaped astounded at his little brother. He had not put it past him to openly oppose the Marauders, but he could hardly dwell on that surprising fact since at the very same moment, Lestrange flicked her wand. Sirius was prepared to block her curse before he noticed it wasn't directed at him. Instead, he realized that she had managed to spiral Snivellus' wand back into his greasy hand and spoke the counter-curse to let him down- softly. Perhaps she even used a Cushioning Charm to spare his scrawny arse from hitting the ground too hard.
Wasn't that cute? What did she see in that greasy-haired git? Naturally, Sirius wasn't romantically interested in any Slytherin girl and he was definitely not attracted to Lestrange, but in the dark of a broom closet all naked girls looked the same and the house colours didn't matter anymore.
He had to watch out! Snivellus fired a curse- probably something dark- at James, who fortunately managed to dodge it while diving to retrieve his wand. In the meantime, one of the evil Slytherins had caught Peter in a full Body-Bind Curse. Of course, these disreputable snakes would focus on the smallest and weakest of his friends.
Now Remus got to his feet, finally leaving his stupid book behind. He lifted the curse on Peter, who immediately shot a Stinging Hex at Regulus.
Don't hex my little brother! Sirius wanted to cry, but then thought the better of it. This was a fight between houses, between his friends and some slithery, slippery, cunning snakes- there was no time for family affairs. And besides, he didn't give a damn about his family.
For a short moment, the air seemed to buzz with magical energy as the sparks of various spells and hexes flew up like fireworks. Severus lashed out at Potter, who scarcely escaped this furious outburst that probably would have hurt him severely. For once, Raven was glad Severus' curse had missed its target because she feared for the consequences, had it hit Potter. She didn't know what spell he had used, but she gathered it was an especially nasty one and probably one of his own creation- he was working on something titled, for enemies. And although she understood his wrath- after all, the Marauders had humiliated him, and to make things worse, they had made a public display out of it- and she also understood his desire for revenge, it was decidedly not worthy to risk being expelled.
Lupin had risen; he lifted the curse Wilkes had put on Pettigrew. Would he join in the fight now, or would he finally remember that the badge attached to his robes wasn't only for decoration? Raven didn't want to have to deal with bullying Gryffindorks any longer. She had merely wanted to help her friend... and speaking of Severus- where was he?
While Lupin was indeed making use of his prefect badge to avoid further duelling (strangely, he only recalled his position when, for once, the Marauders didn't outnumber their victims) Raven spotted Severus' retreating form as he walked away with his head hanging low. At the very edge of the lake he paused and cast a quick glance at the group of girls in the distance, probably looking out for Lily. But she had already left the lake and returned to the castle. After all, the fifth years still had to sit another exam today.
Raven started running. She just had to talk to Severus before it was time to go back inside for that Transfiguration exam, knowing he was deeply upset and very agitated about what he had called Lily. She knew he regretted that, and that he was most likely torturing himself with questions like what if or if only now. But he couldn't change the things he'd spoken in a moment of utter humiliation and frustration; he had to think further than that...
She caught up with him and grabbed his arm to make him turn around and face her.
"Leave me alone!"
"No! No, I won't. Sev, look at me. Listen to me."
For a moment it appeared as if he was going to hex her- he looked decidedly livid... in spite of the treacherous signs of tears on his cheeks.
"Stop meddling, you insufferable busybody! I don't need your help. I don't need... anybody!"
"Well, yes, I know that. Nevertheless, you will hear me out now." Raven took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second, half expecting a jinx to hit her. When that didn't happen, she opened her eyes again to stare at him with as much defiance as she could muster while wondering whether she wanted to slap him or hug him. In the end, she decided to give him a good shaking. "Damned, Sev! I bloody know that things went awfully wrong today..."
He averted his gaze, but Raven was glad he did neither run away nor hex her into next week.
"You probably don't want to hear that now, but you have to get the recent events out of your head if you want to sit your OWLs successfully..."
Severus snorted, indicating that that was momentarily the very last thought he had in mind. Nevertheless, he heard her out.
"Alright," she said, "I want you to occlude your mind. I know you can do that. Forget about Lily, you can still deal with her later. Just focus on what matters most now, and that is the upcoming exam. Okay?"
Somehow, Severus managed to sit his Transfiguration OWL without making a total fool of himself. He could answer all the questions, and had he given it a second thought, he even would have been satisfied with himself. But the very moment he put down his quill and his scroll of parchment was magically collected by the examiner, his thoughts went back to Lily. He'd done her wrong, so unbelievably wrong, and all he wanted to do was making amends to her for that unforgivable slip of tongue. He really hadn't meant to hurt her.
He didn't notice that some of his house mates were looking at him with respect now, because he had taken that Gryffindor Mudblood down a peg or two, because he had finally shown his true colours. Slytherin colours. An insult painted in the silver and green of supremacists.
Severus couldn't have cared less about what his fellow Slytherins thought of him when he made his way to the Gryffindor tower. All he had in mind was to apologize to Lily. He needed to talk to her- even if that meant he had to wait for her the whole night, sitting in front of a large painting showing a fat lady in a pink dress which guarded the entrance to the Gryffindor's common room.
Of course, the Fat Lady wouldn't let him in since he didn't know the password... but he would have walked straight into the lion's den if given the choice. Instead, he waited patiently until finally Mary MacDonald had the decency to inform Lily of his desire to talk to her.
Lily was already wearing her dressing gown when she stepped out of the entrance some time later. Her body language was defensive and her voice sounded very cool, almost unforgiving... and indeed, things didn't go as smoothly as he had hoped.
Severus tried to apologize, but she told him she wasn't interested, that none of her friends understood why she even talked to him (wait- wasn't he her best friend anymore?) and then she accused him of associating with Death Eaters... which was at least partly true. Yes, he was actually toying with the idea of joining them though he hadn't come to a final conclusion yet. And he was really, really sorry for having called her a Mudblood- it had sort of slipped out unintentionally...
"I can't pretend anymore!" Lily said resolutely. "You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."
It sounded so very definite. "No- listen," Severus said, " I didn't mean-"
"-to call me Mudblood?" Lily cut in. "But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"
Because I love you, he wanted to say, but then he struggled at the verge of speech because that was really a very big thing to say for someone who didn't wear his heart on his sleeve when it came to emotional issues. He hesitated too long. Lily turned, and with a contemptuous look she climbed back through the portrait hole.
It closed behind her, leaving Severus standing there all alone, hurt and very vulnerable. Even the Fat Lady seemed to sneer at him.