When Olivia woke up, it took her a few moments to get familiar with her surroundings. She noticed Maureen asleep in the bed not far from hers and remembered that she had spent the night with the Stabler clan. She smiled at how peaceful Maureen appeared next to her, and quietly, trying not to wake the young girl, got up and out of bed.
She made her way down the stairs to the kitchen, dressed in her PJ's, only to be greeted by the wonderful smell of pancakes.
"Good morning," Elliot said with a smile, loving seeing Olivia like this, in her PJ's, hair ruffled and completely adorable. How he was going to get through the next few days, let alone however long it took Olivia to accept the changes in their relationship - which she would, he was going to make sure - he didn't know. She did things to him that no one ever had before, and she did this simply by yawning and playing with her hair.
"Morning," she said as she sat facing him, on the island. "Are the kids not up yet?"
Elliot nodded. "Dickie just left for a run, said he'd be back in about half an hour and Eli is in the playroom. The girls, however, haven't shown their faces yet."
"Maureen was still asleep when I got up."
Elliot sighed. "She's taking on so much. She's got to be exhausted. She's trying to be a mother to all of them and she's going to run herself straight into the ground."
Olivia nodded, in agreement. "When we have a little bit of time on our plates, I'm going to steal her away if you don't mind."
Elliot smiled. He couldn't help but love how Olivia mothered them, all of his children. "I don't mind at all. She could use a strong, positive role model right now."
They were quiet for a few seconds, and when the silence began to feel heavy, Elliot couldn't help but look at her and break the silence.
"Liv, I can't keep doing-"
Olivia was not ready to get back into this discussion, and luckily Lizzie and Kathleen chose that exact moment to make their entrance.
"Good morning, Liv! Morning Dad! Smells great! What's for breakfast?"
Elliot gave Olivia one more meaningful glance, saying we're not done, before turning towards his daughters and pointing to the oven. "Pancakes. I put them in the oven to keep them warm while waiting, but you ladies can serve yourselves. I'm going to grab Eli. Could you guys keep an eye on the pancakes?"
Olivia was quicker to move. "You keep manning the frying pan Ramsay, and I'll go get Eli."
Elliot watched her leave, not tearing his eyes from her.
"Dad, you're burning a hole in the wall with your staring," Lizzie said, not too inconspicuously.
"You're worse than a teenage boy who just hit puberty," Kathleen added.
"Oh, stop it," he said, turning his gaze back to his pancakes, not looking up to make eye contact with either one of his daughters. That would be to dangerous.
"We're not the ones drooling," Lizzie said with an eye roll, as she took the seat Olivia had just vacated, pancakes in one hand, orange juice in the other. Kathleen was quick to join her.
"I wasn't drooling," Elliot said, still not raising to meet his daughters' glares.
"Whatever you say dad," Kathleen said, and that was the end of that conversation. Lizzie and Kathleen exchanged looks, telling each other they would talk about it later, but went on to eating their pancakes in the meantime.
There was no rush.
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"Good morning Mister Eli."
Olivia found Eli sitting on the floor in the playroom, his toy trucks in hand and Bear in the Big Blue House playing in the background on the TV. He seemed to be doing alright, even though it was clear he missed his mom. Olivia watched him as he turned towards her and smiled.
"Libia!"
He dropped his trucks, ran, and wrapped his arms tightly around Olivia's leg.
"Hey buddy," she said with a smile of her own. "Someone seems happy to see me!"
"You silly!" he replied, as if her previous words were obvious.
"What would you like to do today?"
He didn't even need to think about it. "Park!"
Olivia laughed at his excitement. "We'll see what we can do."
"Liv?"
Olivia turned around and found Dickie standing in the doorway. He was covered in sweat, clearly from his run, and had an unreadable expression on his face.
"Hey Dickie, what's up?"
He looked down towards the floor, taking a few seconds before replying. "Can... Do you think we could talk?" He looked at Eli. "Alone?"
Olivia nodded, knowing what she needed to do. "Whatever you need." She then turned to Eli, who was still wrapped around her leg. "Hey Eli! I think your daddy needs some help getting breakfast ready. Wanna go see?"
He nodded quickly, grabbed Benny, who had been sitting on the couch, and was gone in the blink of an eye.
"What's going on?"
Olivia and Dickie took each a seat on the couch, and Dickie took a deep breath before speaking. "I went for a run this morning, mostly to clear my mind. A lot has been going on and... And I just needed to breathe, you know?"
Olivia nodded. "I know."
She watched him closely as he wrung his hands, clearly not aware of the action, and he took his time before continuing, but Olivia didn't press.
He sighed. "So I gave this a lot of thought, and I went back and forth on this decision, but I think I know what I have to do."
Olivia waited, trying to figure out what he was talking about.
"I want to go see her."
Olivia nodded, however, she was kind of shocked to hear this.
Dickie continued. "I don't forgive her, and I'm still mad at her, but I want to tell her everything that's been on my chest, or else, I'm going to go crazy. She... I need to just tell her and... I just need to let it all out. I don't care that she might not hear me, I just need to vent. To her. Whatever."
Olivia rubbed his back as he inched closer to her. "There's nothing wrong with that."
He looked up at her. "I want you to take me. And not to tell anyone, including dad."
Olivia turned towards him, and although she had a feeling he had taken time to think this through and that he was determined, she asked anyway. "Are you sure?"
He nodded. "I will tell him, after. But I want this to be my decision, and say what I want to say without anyone telling me what I should and shouldn't say. I knew that you wouldn't question me, so that's why I want you to come."
She knew that this whole keeping secrets from Elliot thing, especially his own kids' secrets, could come back to bite her in the ass, but she had told him that she was there for them. And if that meant being the person they confided their secrets with, so be it. They needed her and she could deal with Elliot later.
"Ok, how about I take you this afternoon?"
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"Liv, the park was a great idea."
Olivia and Elliot sat on the picnic blanket in one of the less busier spots in Central Park. They had had lunch under the shade of a tree, and now the kids were a bit everywhere. Maureen had taken Eli to the "real" park, as Eli called it, which was just a few minutes away from their spot. Kathleen, Lizzie and Dickie were playing frisbee in the field in front of their spot. Jeremy, who Elliot had met earlier that day and had approved of, had been invited along to Lizzie's surprise.
"Do you think dad has some twisted intentions, you know, inviting him along?" Lizzie had asked Olivia after Elliot had mentioned to Jeremy their plans for lunch. The gang had come to pick her up at the coffee shop on their way to Central Park and Lizzie had been quite shocked by her father's easy going attitude.
Olivia laughed. "I think he just wants you to be happy."
And Olivia could tell everyone was having a good time.
"I wish I could take the credit for this brilliant idea, but it was actually Eli's," she said with a smile.
Elliot smiled back. "We should do this more often."
Olivia looked back up out towards the kids and nodded. "You're kids just love being able to spend so much time with you, you can tell. You guys really should keep doing this."
Elliot gave her a little frown. "When I said we Olivia, that was including you." He rested his hand atop of hers, making her shiver just a little at the contact.
"Elliot..."
"We're back!"
They both looked up and Elliot removed his hand when he saw Maureen and Eli approach. Eli took a quick sip of his juice box before running off with the others. Maureen, however took a seat beside Olivia on the blanket.
"Dad!" Kathleen yelled out. "Come join us! Show Jeremy here how it's done!"
Elliot smirked and got up, but not before giving Olivia a meaningful glance.
When her father was out of earshot, Maureen turned to Olivia with a knowing look in her eyes. She, however, stayed quiet.
When Olivia couldn't take it anymore, she narrowed her eyes. "What?"
Maureen shook her head slowly, a suspicious grin on her face. "Olivia Benson. You know exactly why I'm looking at you like this. Don't play dumb."
Olivia shook her head. "I have no idea what you're getting at Maureen."
Anyone else would have believed her, but Maureen knew better than that. "I know you Olivia and I know you know why I'm giving you the look."
Olivia didn't crack right away, but finally she sighed. "Okay Maureen, you win. Now say it."
"Liv!" she exclaimed. "How can you keep doing this? You two have been dancing around each other for twelve years. Twelve years Liv! Don't you think it's time you just accept that it was bound to happen?"
"Maureen..."
"No way Liv, no excuses. I see the way you two give each other looks. And don't think that I missed the little hand touching thing here just moments ago." She got a little quieter. "Or last week, at your apartment, when you guys kissed and-"
Olivia went wide eyed. "You-"
"Saw it? You bet. And I have this odd feeling it wasn't a first. God Liv, just give in!"
Olivia shook her head. "If only it were that simple..."
Maureen was getting worked up now, and Olivia could see it. "Why does it have to be complicated Liv? What's so complicated about two people who lo-"
Olivia cut her off. "Don't say it. Please," she begged.
Maureen suddenly saw the doubt and fear in the older woman's eyes and softened her approach. "... about two people who care very much about each other getting what they deserve?"
Olivia sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "You have no idea..."
Maureen was about to add on, but wasn't given the opportunity.
"Liv?" Dickie asked as he approached the blanket.
Olivia understood the unasked question just by the sound of his voice and the look in his eye. She nodded as she got up from the blanket.
"Where are you two heading off to?" Elliot called out when he noticed Olivia and Dickie trying to make a quiet escape.
Dickie looked to Olivia and she smiled in reassurance. "Dickie asked me if I'd help him out with a project and I agreed. We'll meet you guys back at the house before supper, promised.
"Okay..." Elliot answered, but he could smell something fishy.
But for right now, he was just going to enjoy his time with his kids, and worry about the rest later.
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"I'll just be outside the door if you need anything, okay?"
Dickie nodded, took a deep breath and turned the nob. He hesitated before entering, but before Olivia knew it, the door had been quietly shut in front of her.
She turned towards the waiting area, just a few feet away, and took a seat. She figured Dickie might be a little while, so she had a few minutes to just sit and think.
She had a lot to think about.
Maureen's words from earlier were still getting to her. The young woman had seen too much. That meant she and Elliot weren't being careful enough. The kids couldn't know that there was anything going on between-
Wait, Olivia thought. There isn't anything going on. Not anymore.
She had refused to ever bring anything up again. Every time something else happened, it got pushed away. Their night together, their kiss on the air mattress on her apartment floor, and now Elliot's intimate touch in the park would be ignored too. Because that was the only way Olivia could keep up the act that nothing was going on in front of his kids.
As for work, she was going to have to fight it all if she wanted to make it through the investigation. Elliot's kids were more important than her own struggles, that much she had been adamant about to herself. It hadn't taken much effort to convince herself of that.
But Maureen had caught on. And if Maureen had caught on...
No, she thought. The others didn't give her the looks Maureen did. And they hadn't seen the things Maureen had. Maybe other than the looks.
What looks? Olivia was now getting angry with herself for letting Maureen's words get to her. She and Elliot didn't give each other looks, did they? She would have realized it, right?
She didn't realize she had sighed out loud until a voice interrupted her thoughts.
"That sigh sounds like one of your pensive sighs."
Startled, she looked up only to find herself being observed by non other than Finn Tutola.
"Finn, what are you doing here?"
Finn pointed behind him to where Jon was talking to a doctor. "Vic."
Olivia nodded slowly. She should have guessed that.
"Now, I know you're not here for a victim, not in those clothes or even in this state." He didn't need to ask a question, Olivia knew what he wanted to know.
"I..." She sighed. "Elliot doesn't know, okay?"
Finn went wide eyed. "You're not here to visit...her... Are you?"
Olivia quickly shook her head. "No, not me."
Finn gave her a questioning glance.
"Dickie. He wanted to come talk to her, let out some steam. I promised him I wouldn't tell the others."
Finn nodded. "I see. And I promise, not a word to Big Stabler."
Olivia smiled. "Thanks Finn."
"Anytime baby girl." He started heading back towards his partner, but turned around. "You're good for those kids, you know that right? They're lucky to have you around."
"I..."
Finn smiled. "You don't need to say anything. And who knows, maybe one day-"
He was cut off by John, calling for him. When the older man finally noticed Olivia, he sent her a quick wave and a smile. Olivia returned it, without too much enthusiasm, but just enough so he wouldn't question her.
She turned back to Finn. "Wait, Finn!"
He turned back around towards her. "Yeah?"
She suddenly looked embarrassed, not sure if she should ask. But curiosity got to her.
"You never finished what you were going to say."
Finn smiled. "Maybe one day, you'll have kids of your own..."
Olivia couldn't help but let out a breath at that. She was expecting him to say-
"... or you'll have the Stabler kids as-"
Olivia cut him off. "You can stop right there Tutola."
Finn couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Hey, you are engaged to the man. That makes you their step-mom-to-be."
Olivia had to look away as the blood rushed to her face, but luckily, Finn was already gone when the colour became evident.
Sadly, it didn't go away fast enough.
"I'm done."
She was startled by the young man's voice, still trying her best to regain her composure after Finn's little fun time. He had his hands in his jean pockets and was looking at his shoes. This reassured Olivia a little, as that meant he wasn't looking at her.
"Okay. How about we get out of here then?"
Dickie nodded quickly.
Olivia got up and was about to head for the door, but Dickie was quicker.
She felt his arms wrap around her and she couldn't help but return the embrace.
"I... I needed that Liv. To see my mom, and the hug," he clarified. "So, thanks for both. I don't know what I'd do without you around."
Olivia felt the emotions of the day come bubbling up. "You'll never have to find out."
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When they got back to the house, Olivia and Dickie couldn't help but laugh at the scene that they walked in on. The music blaring, Maureen, Kathleen and Lizzie were dancing around the kitchen like fools, using wooden spoons and spatulas as microphones as they cooked and Eli, wearing a pot as a hat, sat on the island taking it all in, laughing like a lunatic.
Lizzie was the first to notice their entrance and rather than end it, she passed Olivia the potato masher and Dickie the scooper that went with it, silently inviting them to join in. Olivia couldn't help but try to pretend she knew the lyrics and sing along. Before long, they had all joined Eli in hysterics, breathing heavily and crying like emotional drunks.
Maureen was the one who finally got up from the floor to turn the music down to a respectable volume. "Wow, that was quite the party."
The others agreed as the put their "microphones" back in their appropriate locations.
"Is this what it's like every Sunday night at the Stabler residence?" Olivia asked, afraid of what the answer might be.
The girls all looked at each other, but kinda shrugged as they continued to giggle. "I guess it just depends on the mood," Lizzie answered.
"And after the day we had today," Kathleen continued, "the mood is pretty good."
Lizzie went wide eyed and started laughing harder. "Oh!" she said snapping her fingers towards Olivia and Dickie. "Liv! Dickie! You guys missed the best thing ever."
Olivia and Dickie silently exchanged looks.
"We threw the frisbee a little bit too far, but dad was convinced he could still catch it. So he chased it, not paying attention to where he was going and ploughed into this little old lady!"
Olivia gave the young girl a questioning glance. "And how is a little old lady getting ploughed into funny?"
Kathleen rolled her eyes as Lizzie was laughing to hard to finish the story. "The lady got up, grabbed her purse and started beating Dad with it. He actually had to ask her to stop. She kept yelling "today's hooligans! I'm glad my children were raised right!" and dropping as many insulting comments about children as she could, as if dad were just another teenager."
"Oh, and the purse buckle left bruises on his shoulder," Maureen added, which amplified the giggles.
"We promised him we wouldn't tell you," Kathleen started.
"... But the opportunity was too good to waste," Lizzie finished, through her giggles.
Olivia rolled her eyes as she herself chuckled a bit.
Once everyone had regained some sort of composure and had gone back to working on the evening's meal, Olivia glanced around, suddenly noticing the man in questions absence.
"Speaking of your father, where is he at?"
Lizzie shrugged as she licked the spoon she was using to ice the cake she had made for dessert. "He dropped us off here after the park, asking us to start supper and when we asked where he was going, he just said he needed to handle some things."
Maureen turned off the oven and pulled out a ham. "We didn't bother asking, knowing that if he didn't tell us the first time, he wasn't going to tell us if we asked again."
Olivia accepted this, and like the children with their father, she didn't ask any questions.
"He also told us not to wait for him for supper because he could be late," Kathleen added as she started bringing food to the dinning hall. "What are you guys waiting for? Let's eat!"
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It was after midnight when Olivia heard the car pull into the driveway. The kids had all gone to bed, as each of them had to be in class early the next morning. Olivia had decided to stay up and wait for Elliot, as she felt he would probably need to talk about whatever it was that he had spent his day doing.
"Elliot?" she called out when she heard the door shut a little louder than expected. It had made her jump, and that wasn't a good sign.
No answer.
She knew as soon as she got a glimpse of his face that something was off. Something was definitely off.
"Elliot?" she tried again as he took a seat on the opposite end of the couch. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He sighed. "I.. I was at the hospital. I needed to let off some steam and I knew that I couldn't keep it all bottled in anymore and I want to be so mad at Kathy but I can't fight with her because she can't fight back but I still needed to tell her everything that was driving me crazy and..."
Olivia nodded. "I get it Elliot. There's nothing wrong with that."
He nodded. "And apparently I'm not the first one to use that tactic. Doc says that Maureen and Dickie were both in to visit her too. And that Dickie's visit was today. While we were at the park." He gave her a questioning look. "I wonder how he got there?"
By the look on his face, Olivia understood that Elliot knew what she had done.
"El, you know it's not something I kept from you by choice. Dickie just didn't want anyone to pressure him one way or the other, but he didn't want to go alone. He came to me but made me promise I wouldn't say anything to anyone."
He nodded. "I just wish they would talk to me. I'm not mad at either of them, or you for that matter, but..."
She nodded. "I know. They just needed to do this on their own. They didn't want to have someone else change their minds. It took a lot of courage for both of them to do what they did."
Elliot looked back at her. "You knew about Maureen too didn't you?"
Olivia nodded, all the while she wrung her hands, worried about what her partners reaction would be.
"I get it," was his only answer.
"They love you and their so glad to have you around, they just don't want to get you more worked up than you already are."
Elliot nodded. "I'm actually really glad, though. They're coming to you Liv, that means that you really mean something to them. They trust you."
Olivia nodded, but needed to look away. Elliot's gaze was too strong for her to handle right now.
They stayed quiet for several minutes. Olivia was about to get up and announce that she was heading to bed, but Elliot caught her hand.
"Liv..."
She looked at him this time, knowing that he was already hurting enough as it was and she didn't want to make things worse.
"Yeah El?"
He pulled her closer towards him and she let it happen. What the hell are you doing Liv? He wrapped his arms around her waist and Olivia just let it happen.
"Thanks for being here. For all of us."
Olivia nodded. "You know that I'm always here for you and the kids."
Elliot nodded too as he ran his hand up her arm. "I know. And Liv?"
She yawned, suddenly the exhaustion from everything these past few weeks had put her through hitting her. "Yeah El?"
"I get it."
She closed her eyes. "Get what?"
He sighed. "You not wanting to talk about... Us. Not in these circumstances. And I've finally accepted that."
"Okay," Olivia answered, almost subconsciously.
"But we have to talk about it after all this is over. Promise?"
Olivia barely managed to form her last coherent word.
But Elliot couldn't help but smile when a faint "promise" escaped her lips before she fell into a deep sleep, wrapped in his arms.
Yay ! Another cute El and Liv scene (: Hope you all enjoyed !