For weaverofhopes, who asked.
Unbeta'd.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Darcy crept toward the enraged roars that pierced the air. She heard voices ahead around a hedge and tiptoed quietly toward them, cocking her ear to hear better.
"We've got you now, monster!"
"Quick, while his hands are occupied!"
Darcy peeked through the hedges and let her eyes adjust to the bright white light. The thing that was making all of the noise was huge, and a vibrant shade of green at that. It was locked inside of a clear glass case from which the sterile light was coming and was surrounded by Asgardian guards who continually poked and prodded at the glass with their golden swords.
It was making the thing- him- angry.
Somehow Darcy knew that she wouldn't like him when he was angry.
The more she watched, the sicker she felt. The big green hulking man wasn't doing anything wrong and still the guards tormented him. She knew that this kind of hate-fueled bullying had to come to an end, and she would be this poor creature's rescuer.
Darcy looked around for something, anything, that she could use, when she spotted some rocks on the ground.
No, these guys were trained guards. Defenders of the castle. Lethal warriors. No way would it work. But, Darcy thought to herself, this place held stranger wonders, and she was certain that gullibility wouldn't be outside of the realm of possibility.
She picked up a rock and quietly edged her way around the other side of the hedge, completely hidden from the guards, and chucked it as far as she could away from the guards. The rock landed with a loud thud against a wall and grabbed the attention of all of the guards. Darcy quickly got back to her original spot and waited for the guards to go investigate the noise before she revealed herself to the big green man.
The man started roaring in anger once again at the sight of her. She jumped in surprise, but took a deep breath and steeled herself before taking a few steps ahead. She had to act quickly.
"Shhhhh," she whispered, putting her hands up the glass, "Shhhh, I'm here to help you."
The beast roared again, but Darcy only put her hands on her hips.
"Is that any way to treat someone who's trying to help you?" she whispered.
The green man's expression changed from anger to a look of confusion and then to comprehension as he assessed her. She wasn't poking at him or making his ears hurt with swords banging on the glass. She looked… friendly.
"What do I do?" she whispered. She kept looking around to keep watch for the guards.
Through his rage he seemed to understand her and pointed to a panel on the side of the glass cage.
"This looks like something Tony would have invented," Darcy said to herself. She puzzled over the panel for a moment and thought about the combination she saw him enter into his wall panel earlier. She punched in the same pattern on the panel and in moments the door slid open easily. The man lumbered out of the cage, the ground shaking as he walked, and at the same moment the guards came back around the hedge.
"By the beard of Odin, the beast is free!" shouted one guard.
Darcy had seen pants-shitting terror on a man's face just twice before in her life. The first time was when her dad walked in on her and Jason Thompson fooling around in the shed and Jason looked as though he was about to both meet his maker and battle Satan at the same time. The second time was when her high school chemistry teacher set a chair on fire that spread to a rug that lead straight to the chemical closet. Neither of those faces compared to the look on this guard's face.
In two massive steps, the large man closed the distance between himself and the guard and seized him by the neck. With seemingly no effort he lifted the man off the ground and threw him, hard, over the hedges. The other guards hesitated for a moment, just long enough for the large green man to roar in their general direction, before they all fled.
Darcy crossed her arms, assessing the man she had just rescued - hopefully she wouldn't regret it. He continued to roar with his anger even thought the guards were gone.
"Hulk smash!" the man roared.
"Hey!" Darcy yelled.
The man stopped his mad raging and looked quizzically at Darcy.
"Is that any way to treat someone who just rescued you?" she asked, one hand on her hip.
A burst of comprehension in those green eyes. In a way, however slight that way might be, she had reached him.
"You said, 'Hulk smash.' Hulk? Is that your name?" said asked. She walked slowly toward him, cautiously, with her palms facing forward at chest height.
"Hulk," Hulk said, his voice much calmer, and he allowed Darcy to approach him.
"You seem like such a nice beast," she said, and she gave him a light pat on the arm. "Well, I certainly hope you are what you seem to be. Do you want to come with me? You can be my friend."
Hulk's brow knit together in confusion. "Hulk… friend?"
"That's right Hulk. Let's be friends. I'm Darcy," she said and she smiled up at him, hoping that this man wasn't going to go all Hulk Smash again.
"Darcy. Hulk. Darcy friend?"
"Yes, Hulk! Yes. We're friends. I helped you and you helped me by taking care of those guards. Now, I want to ask you something."
"Huh?" Hulk asked. He seemed to be unfocused, fixated on something only he could see. Darcy searched his face for a sign of what might be the problem but couldn't find it.
"Do you know the way to the castle at the center of the Labyrinth?" she asked.
Hulk did not answer. He seemed to be feeling light on his feet, and he swayed a moment before sitting, laying, and then passing out.
"Oh my god, Hulk?" Darcy asked, and she gave him a light tap on the shoulder. He shuddered for a moment and then his body began to morph. A very startled Darcy jumped back and watched as the green man shrank and shrank and shrank, becoming less and less green all the while, until he appeared to be no more than a man.
A very naked man.
Hulk was still asleep and Darcy looked around in a confused panic. Naked guy. Naked was-just-green guy.
"Of course," Darcy said to herself as she sighed. She looked around for any scrap of clothing she could find and finally her gaze landed upon a small pile of ripped clothing inside of the glass contraption in which she had found Hulk. She brought the pile of clothing back to him and tossed them strategically onto his body to allow him a small bit of decency when he awoke.
"Hey Hulk," she said to the sleeping man. He didn't awaken.
"Hey Hulk," she repeated, and nudged him with her foot. The man stirred and opened his eyes slowly, confusion overcoming his features.
"Hmm?" asked the man. Bleary-eyed, he looked around at his surroundings. He finally spotted Darcy, who was hard to miss since she was standing right in front of him, and he scrambled to pull the clothing closer to himself.
"Um," the man said.
"So I take it you're not always a huge green 'roid rager?" she asked.
"Um," the man repeated again, "Yeah, not exactly."
"Okay, so I'm going to turn around so you can get dressed, and then we can talk when you're not naked. Sound good?' Darcy asked. He nodded once.
She turned around and hummed a little song to herself while she heard the rustling of the man getting dressed behind her.
"Okay, I'm as clothed as I'm going to get," the man said, and Darcy turned back around. It looked like he had managed to get his shirt off of him before he hulked out because the white button-up was in almost-perfect condition, but his pant legs were in shreds. Darcy thought he looked like a salty pirate ready to go to business meeting, but she did not mention it to the man.
"Oh I get it, you've kind of got a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing going on. Because of course that makes sense here."
"I have never had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Jekyll; I am Dr. Banner. They call me the scientist, but you can call me by my first name- Bruce. And you've already met… the other guy," he said, and he looked away with something Darcy thought for a second was shame.
"Hulk? Oh yeah, he and I go way back. In fact, he kicked some Asgardian ass for me a few minutes ago. And I let you- I mean, um, him, I guess- out of that little cell thingy over there," she aid, and jerked a thumb toward the glass prison.
Bruce's brows knit together in confusion.
"He… helped you?" he asked.
"Well, I freed him. He seemed pretty pissed about being all locked up."
"You shouldn't have done that," said Bruce, "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be out, but it's a miracle that he didn't kill you."
"I got that impression," Darcy said, "Oh, you know, I was asking Hulk something and he didn't really seem to know - do you know how to get through this labyrinth?"
"I'm afraid I don't. I'm trying to make my way out of it myself," Bruce said.
"Any chance you want some company? I'm kind of on a time constraint and it seems that two heads are better than one in this place."
Bruce thought it over for a second. "I accept."
"Awesome, let's get going then," she said, and for a moment she felt like Dorothy Gale in the land of Oz. She had already met the cowardly lion in the form of Tony, and now here was another traveling companion.
Darcy turned to leave the way she had come, but found that a wall with two doors had appeared in its place.
"Hey, where did they come from?" she asked. She and Bruce examined the doors with their strange door knockers, both afraid to touch them. The door knockers were heads- a red-haired man had the knocker ring stuck in his ears and the blonde-haired man had the knocker ring stuck in his mouth.
"One should not stare," said the red-haired one loudly, and both Darcy and Bruce jumped back from the shock of the knocker talking.
"Oh!" said Darcy, "I'm sorry, I just don't know which door to choose."
The blonde door knocker began making noise, but couldn't say any words with the knocker ring in his mouth.
"Fandral got the ring in his mouth for good reason; he never could seem to keep it shut," said the loud red-haired knocker.
"Hs df asa pst," said Fandral-the-door-knocker.
"I can't understand you," said Darcy, and she approached the blonde knocker. She reached up and pulled the heavy metal ring from his mouth.
"Oh, it feels so good to have that out. Now, what is an enchanting creature such as yourself doing in a place like this?" he asked, and Darcy was taken aback.
"Um, yeah, so, what were you trying to say? Before I pulled this ring out of your mouth?"
"I was saying, it's no good talking to him, Volstagg's deaf as a post," said Fandral.
"Mumble, mumble, mumble," said Volstagg, "You're a wonderful conversational companion."
"Me? If only you could hear yourself talk- but wait, you can't," snapped Fandral.
Bruce and Darcy watched the exchange with an apprehensive caution.
"Where do these doors lead?" asked Bruce.
"Search me, we're just the knockers!" said Fandral, and he laughed as though he had just said something positively hilarious.
"How do we get through?" asked Dary.
"Knock, and the doors will open," said Fandral.
"Huh?" said Volstagg.
Darcy lifted the metal ring back to Fandral's mouth, but the man refused it.
"Come on, I want to knock," said Darcy.
"Huh-uh," said Fandral, and he clamped his lips shut tight.
"Doesn't want his ring back in his mouth, eh? Can't say I blame him," said Volstagg.
Darcy thought, but the sound of Fandral's breathing was distracting. The light of recognition sparked in her eyes- she had an idea. Before Fandral could do anything about he, she grasped his nose tightly, squeezing, ensuring that he could not get any air. She only had to wait for 30 seconds before Fandral opened his mouth to get air and Darcy took advantage of it. She shoved the ring back into his mouth.
"Sorry," she said as she knocked.
"Ips uh-kay imm ust to it," Fandral said, and Darcy was almost (almost) sorry at his crestfallen face.
The door opened itself and Darcy and Bruce walked through, closing the heavy wooden door behind them.
Darcy didn't expect what lay on the other side - a dark forest, thick with moss-covered trees and crumbling pathways. Thick cobwebs covered the leaves of someof the trees and their branches with some strands that connected all the way down to the forest floor. Darcy had already gone in a few steps when she reaized that Bruce wasn't following. She looked back and saw him staring, horrified, at the spider webs.
"Come on, Bruce," said Darcy, who did her best to keep an edge of annoyance out of her voice. He didn't have to go with her, she reminded herself.
Bruce followed and Darcy was off again.
"I can't see the castle- for all I know, we could be going the completely wrong direction," Darcy said, and Bruce agreed.
"We could, but we'll never know if we don't get somewhere to see above these trees. But it looks like the sun is coming in at the same angle as when we were standing in front of those two doors back there, so that's something," said Bruce.
"Good point," said Darcy, and she felt a tiny bit better.
They continued through the winding pathways. Here and there would be a patch of stone that looked to be ruins of some kind, as thought civilization had once held this place but was abandoned, allowing the trees to reclaim their place. Birds and bugs could be heard going about their day, and Darcy started to relax again. They traveled through the thick forest for a good five minutes before they once again came upon patches of spider webs, and Bruce came to a stop.
"Bruce… are you scared of spiders?" Darcy asked.
"I'm not sure what spiders are, Darcy, but the creatures that make this webbing are horrifying. They're like the worm form of a bilgesnipe," said Bruce, but Darcy had no idea what a bilgesnipe was, let alone what the worm-like form of one would be.
"Imagine that big scary hulk guy being afraid of a place like this," Darcy offered, and Bruce smiled.
"Yeah," he said. Darcy turned and continued walking, but she heard the whisper of something like a gasp behind her.
"Did you see one?" she asked as she turned.
Bruce wasn't there anymore.
"Bruce? Bruce?" she called, but there was no answer.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tony trudged through the darkened forest, looking for a way out, muttering to himself all the while.
"Get through the labyrinth? Friends? Right," said Tony.
He could hear Darcy calling out a name somewhere behind him- it seems that she had meet The Scientist. He scoffed again, until he heard her call out for him.
"Tony? Tony, help!"
The Inventor gasped and shouted, "I'm coming, Darcy!" He turned heel toward where her voice had come from and took only a single step before he stopped in his tracks.
There, leaning against a tree, was the king.
"Well, if it isn't you," said the king, "And just where are you going?"
Tony gulped, "Uh, well, the little lady gave me the slip, but I hear her now, so I was just about to lead her back to the beginning, like you told me."
"I see," said King Loki. He took a few steps toward Tony and narrowed his eyes, "For one moment, it looked like you were running to help her. But no, not after my warnings. That would be stupid."
"You bet it would. Me? Help her? After your warnings?" Tony forced a laugh.
"Oh dear, Timmy," said Loki as he assessed the man before him.
"Tony," said Tony in a tiny voice, "I'm off to take the lady to the beginning of the labyrinth," said Tony as he took a step. He couldn't get away from this situation fast enough.
"Bruce?" they both heard Darcy call again.
"Wait!" said the king, and Tony stopped in his tracks for a second time, "I've got a much better plan, Tony."
The king had one of his glass crystals in his hands.
"Give her this," the king said, and he tossed the crystal to Tony. When Tony caught it, it had turned into a perfectly ripe peach. He examined it for a moment.
"W-what is it?" Tony asked.
Loki cocked his head to one side. "It's a present," he said simply.
Tony took in a deep breath. "Will it hurt her?" he asked.
"Now, why the concern?" the king asked. They both knew that it was a dare.
"I won't do anything to harm her."
"Oh come, come, Tiny, I'm surprised at you! Losing your head over a woman."
"I have not lost my head," said Tony.
"You don't actually think she could like a cowardly thing like you, do you?"
"Well, she said we were-"
"What? Bosom companions? Friends?" Loki said, his words dripped with mocking.
"It doesn't matter," Tony said.
"You'll give her that, Tony, or I'll tip you straight into the Fen of Questionable Content before you can blink," the king warned. Tony sighed and turned, heading toward Darcy's voice once again.
"Oh, and Tony, one more thing," said the king, "If she ever kisses you, I'll turn you into a prince."
"You will?" Tony asked. That was quite a suspicious offer.
"Prince of the land of Questionable Content!" Loki said, and he laughed cruelly.
Tony turned before Loki could get the satisfaction of seeing him any more upset than he already was.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks for reading! Please favorite, follow, and review if you are so inclined.
I am also on Tumblr and I post updates on all my fanfiction. My username is JessiokaFroka.