Author's Note: Comedyy, thank you from the bottom of my heart for that fantastic review. It was so good to hear from you!
Here is the next chapter picking up later in the evening on the day of his return. I hope you all enjoy it.
Millie leaned against the jamb of the open door to their daughter's room unable to take her eyes off of the beautiful sight in front of her. She had waited so long to see the scene worthy of a picture book or a painting, capturing an important moment in time forever. But it would stay locked away in her mind at least.
Subaru sat beside Emi with his arm around her, the child cuddled up next to him. She smiled happily, safe in the circle of his arm draped over her shoulder. His hand held the top corner of the book, although she held it securely with both hands at the bottom corners and propped on her knees. She turned the pages for him while he continued to read. Although she could read the story for herself, she still preferred to be read to at bedtime.
Emi leaned her head against his chest, and he removed his hand from the top corner of the book to pat her fluffy curls. Sighing contentedly, her long lashed eyes growing heavy, blinking slower and slower.
It was a storybook Millie had made herself specifically for her child. She wanted Emi to know her father so when he returned she would not be afraid, and he would not be a stranger to her.
The story began where they usually do, at the beginning, when a strange man from another world suddenly appeared the farm one day. Millie wrote all of the narrative and Marianne, who had a hidden talent for art, drew all of the detailed and professional quality illustrations. The two sisters made a whole series of books about how the man learned all about working on a farm, his adventures and misadventures, and how he fell in love with the woman who owned the farm.
As with most stories, creative license was taken for the purposes of making the story appropriate for a child. It was a love story told with a fairytale flair. Of course in this story the man did not get hit by a truck, and he did not wake up screaming from nightmares haunted by his traumatic past. There was no stalker ex-husband. The story was happy and funny, leaving out all of the sad and bad parts of reality.
It was a fairytale after all telling only the good parts of the love story between Emi's mother and father. Millie would have to write a new book soon. Subaru had come home to them after all. Bo had encouraged the two sisters to publish the storybooks. Since the happily ever after moment had come, maybe they should.
This series of homemade storybooks had been one of the many ways Millie acquainted their daughter with her father while waiting for his return. She told her daughter stories about him during random moments of daily life usually beginning with "I remember when your father used to help me with this..." or "Your daddy was so funny. I'll never forget the time he..."
Millie watched Subaru's face, his lips stretching into a wide grin that made his entire face light up with happiness as he read about they day she taught him how to milk the cows and churn butter. Her eyes focused on the scar that almost bisected his face horizontally. A shiver ran down her spine when her imagination took off, giving her all sorts of dreadful mental pictures, despite her efforts to push away those thoughts of how the injury might have occurred.
Following the strap of the eyepatch across his forehead, she noted there were creases etched there that did not exist before. Lines made from worry and stress no doubt. The dampness from his shower still clung to his stark white hair which reached his shoulders in loose waves. Exactly how much stress and fear does a person endure for their hair to turn white? Despite what he went through before his hair had remained a lovely dark shade of black. She shivered, not wanting to entertain such macabre mental pictures.
She did not want to even imagine the horrors he must have faced, the pain and torture he endured. The Witch of Envy was obviously an "if I can't have you, no one can" person. When Subaru made it clear he would never be hers no matter how many times she pulled him back into that world or what awful threats she made, the Witch had not taken it well to say the least.
After turning the next page of the book, Emi tilted her head up to stare at her father paying no attention to what was on the page. She had memorized the pictures long ago anyway from staring at them night after night. Besides, the man she had heard about every day of her life, literally ever since her birth, was presently sitting beside her - her father.
Subaru stopped reading when his daughter's little hand reached up toward him. He smiled down at her as she patted his scarred cheek.
"Daddy?"
"Yes, baby?"
"Why do you wear that?" Emi asked, pointing at the eyepatch.
"Uh, uhm, something bad happened to my eye. I, uh..." He shifted uncomfortably, his other eye squinting. "I had an a-accident, and I-I can't see out of it anymore," he replied, self-consciously touching the eyepatch.
"Oh, okay." She leaned toward him, waving him down to her. When he bent his ear toward her, she whispered, "Is your eye still under there?"
Subaru turned his mouth toward her hand cupped around her ear waiting for him to whisper his answer which he did in a loud, dramatic way so her mother could hear.
"Yep. It's still there."
Millie put her hand over her mouth barely repressing her laughter. Although the conversation they were having was not really funny at all, the way they were having it was comical and extremely entertaining. The innocent candidness of a child could be endlessly amusing. And sometimes downright embarrassing.
"Then why do you cover it up?" the child inquired forthrightly like kids do when curious about something.
"Because it might bother some people seeing it," he explained, keeping his head inclined toward her as her little fingers moved across the patch.
"Can I see?"
Subaru shifted his eyes toward Millie silently asking if that was okay to let Emi see his eye. He received a non-committal shrug.
"Are you sure? It's kinda gross," he warned his young daughter.
The child pulled her hand away from his face, straightening her back and placing her tiny fists on her hips. She looked like a miniature version of her mother sitting beside him.
"Daddy, I live on a farm. I've seen lots of gross things."
Yes, the child was right. Farms were rife with lots of gross things. Cow and horse poop galore could always be found and had to be dodged carefully. She had probably witnessed the birth of at least one calf. Since there were kittens, she might have seen them being born as well. As he recalled, the barn cats also liked to bring offerings of the rats they killed as a gift to the humans. His eye is most likely the least yucky thing the child would see here.
Subaru reached up to untie the string with a single pull. The patch fell away from his eye that was closed underneath it. The child folded her hands in her lap, leaning toward him with interest. When he opened his eye to show her the clouded iris, she gasped and reached out to him again, pressing her fingertips to his cheeks. The brown iris was faded by the film covering it, transformed to a dark grey or muddy blue.
"Oh, that's not so bad," Emi huffed, receiving a smile from her father.
Subaru patted her head, twisting one of the russet colored curls around his finger. It was like a tiny version of one of Beako's gigantic spiral pig tails, not as tight as her mother's copper coils.
"Your hair reminds me of a friend of mine," he said, sadness tainting his voice.
"Beako?"
"Yeah, Beako. Mama told you about her?"
"Of course. Mama told me about all of your friends there." She held up the book. "She even wrote stories about them too."
"Oh, I see," he said, clutching the eyepatch tightly in his hand.
"Do you miss them?"
"I do."
"They probably miss you too, huh?"
"Probably."
Millie shifted in the doorway, folding her arms over her chest as if to protect her heart from the intrusive thoughts that had not plagued her in years. From time to time, jealousy would rear its ugly head, attempting to plant seeds of doubt and suspicion. Yet she had not dwelled too long because she had been too busy getting accustomed to being a new mom, and a single new mom at that, to think too much about what might be going on between them in Lugunica which she knew was nothing.
She knew the feelings Emilia had for Subaru, the ones she decided to reciprocate too late after he had moved on from being hopelessly in love with her for years. But Millie had not allowed those thoughts of what they might be doing, possibly seeking solace in each others arm, to cope with whatever Hell was being rained down upon them. They didn't have time for that anyway fighting an all out war with the Witch of Envy. Besides, she trusted Emilia and Subaru.
Subaru cupped his daughter's chubby little freckled cheek.
"But they understand I needed to leave them to come back to you and your mama. They helped me return to you as a matter of fact."
"I wish I could thank them for that."
Me too, Millie thought, feeling sad suddenly. She missed them. Even Roswaal.
Emi put her arms around her father's neck to give him a hug. "I'm so glad you're here with us. I'm glad mama isn't alone anymore, and she won't have to cry at night anymore."
Millie cleared her throat and clapped her hands. "All right, young lady. Time for sleeping."
"Oh, but moooom, I'm not tired. Can't Daddy read a little more? We haven't finished the book. Puleeeeze," the child whined, tightening her little arms around her father's neck when he tried to lay her down on the pillows for sleep. "Daddy just got back. Can I stay up a little longer?"
"You need your sleep or you'll be a grumpy Gertie tomorrow. You always wake up at the crack of dawn anyway. You can help me gather the eggs. How about we have pancakes for breakfast?" Millie suggested in hopes of appeasing the child with the promise of her favorite breakfast.
"Ooooh, pancakes, my favorite," Subaru said, easing over to the edge of the bed when Emi relinquished her grip on his neck.
"With bacon?" Emi asked.
"Mmmm, bacon," he murmured, nuzzling her neck and snorting like a pig to make her shriek and giggle. "The sooner you go to sleep the sooner we can have our pancakes and bacon."
"Okay," she sighed with resignation as he tucked her in. "Good night, Daddy."
"Good night, baby," he said, planting a kiss in the middle of her forehead with an exaggerated smack of his lips. "Mwah!"
Millie touched Subaru's hand, giving him a smile, when she passed by him to give their daughter a good night kiss on the cheek. She flicked off the lamp with the frilly pink lamp shade. The night light immediately switched on to illuminate her way to the door which she left open.
Subaru sat down on the bed, leaning against the headboard. He was wearing a heather gray t-shirt and blue and gray plaid sleep pants which had been his birthday present in his absence last year.
Millie was still so angry with him on their daughter's first birthday, forcing her back to their world without him, the next day she packed up all of his clothes and donated them to the thrift store in town. By Emi's second birthday, she started to buy a new wardrobe for him bit by bit.
At Christmas she would purchase him an article or two of clothing, wrap it up, and put it under the Christmas tree. On Christmas morning she and Emi would unwrap the present together while she told her daughter an anecdote about her father. They also celebrated his birthday with cake and presents for him. A picture was placed on the table in front of the chair where he always sat. A slice of cake was put there for him after they blew out the candles and before they opened his presents.
Millie had caught her daughter more than once talking to the pictures of him on the wall in the living room. Emi would tell him about her day, her favorite movie, or how mama had cooked his favorite meal for them. Sometimes she showed him pictures she drew or crafts she made as presents for him. All of which were in a box waiting for him to look at them.
Upon hearing her daughter's voice through the quiet house, she would hide in the hallway and eavesdrop shamelessly on the one sided conversation. Sometimes she would have to stifle her laughter. Other times she would have to walk away when she began crying.
"Hey, can you help me with this?" Subaru asked as extending the eye patch to her.
Who helped you with it before? Emilia? Ram? Petra?, that annoying little inner voice of jealousy needled her.
Stop that! It doesn't matter!, the voice of reason spoke up with righteous indignation and rightly so. They were there to support and help him. Because of them and many others Subaru returned home alive to you.
Millie took the eye patch from him and lay it on the bedside table next to the electric lamp that looked like an old fashioned oil lamp. Her fingers brushed over his eyebrow, her thumb over his cheek when she moved her hand over his blind eye. She smiled at him, leaning down to kiss the amazingly smooth and unmarred cheek below the blinded eye.
"Leave it off," she told him, straightening up.
"But - "
She cupped his cheek, her smile never wavering.
"It's fine. You shouldn't sleep with it anyway. Besides..." She put her fists on her hips, glaring down at him with mock annoyance. "If you didn't gross out a five year old, do you think I'll be grossed out?"
"No," he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as the blush spread across his cheeks.
"I'm going to take a shower," Millie announced. "Be right back."
Subaru watched her as she opened the drawer of her chest of drawers to pull out one of her white cotton nightgowns. He always loved those nightgowns because they were a subtle kind of sexy. The white hinted at innocence along with the modest style of the shift style gown covering her from her neck to her knees. Lace across the chest gave a peek-a-boo view of the tops of her breasts or ruffles accentuated her cleavage giving him a teasing view of what lay underneath. If she stood with the light behind her, he could see the shape of her body through the thin fabric.
While waiting for her to return, he walked around the house, turning off all of the lights, checking the doors and windows to be sure they were all locked. Pulling back the curtain on the back door window, he looked around outside. All was dark and quiet. The light in the front window of Bo and Marianne's house switched off signaling they too were turning in for the night. He was glad Millie had them while he was gone, and she was not completely alone.
The small lamp on the table next to her side of the bed imparted a soft golden glow to the bedroom. Subaru fluffed up the pillows, piling them against the headboard before getting into the bed. His belly fluttered with anticipation of seeing her making him feel like a lovesick teenager again. He twiddled his thumbs, tumbling them over and over each other, occasionally tapping the pads together before commencing with the twiddling again.
He jumped when he heard the shower turn off. This would be the first time he had been alone with her all day. He had been waiting for this moment for a very long time. Reaching over, he folded back the covers on her side of the bed leaving her an open space to sit down on the crisp and pristine white sheets.
His tummy flipped and then it flopped with anticipation while he waited, listening to the shuffling behind the bathroom door occasionally punctuated by pops and clicks as she moved around completing her nighttime routine. The water ran then stopped to begin running again a few minutes later. He could almost smell the mint toothpaste. He licked his lips with the thought of tasting her cool clean mouth. Her teeth would be so smooth from being brushed allowing his tongue to glide over them. God, it had been so long since he kissed her that way.
The door to the bathroom opened. Lucky for him, she paused in the doorway, her body silhouetted by the light behind her, allowing him that enticing view of seeing her curves and legs through the gossamer cotton.
Subaru inhaled, holding his breath while taking in the sight of her. The light went off and his provocative view disappeared but then she was beside him, sliding across the sheets to press herself to his side. His arm went around her shoulders, pulling her over on top of him.
Millie lay with her hands pressed against his chest over the silky soft t-shirt. Her eyes scanned his face from his forehead down to his chin then back up. Her eyes connected with his, one milky but the other clear and gleaming, focused on her face. Pushing her head forward, she pressed her lips squarely to his.
For a long moment, neither one of them moved or breathed, concentrating on the sensation of their lips together at last. His hand rested in the small of her back, his fingers flexing against the roundness of the top of behind. Her lips moved against his, her head tilting to the side. Puckering, she brushed a kiss to one corner of his mouth then the other, and lastly the middle.
Subaru placed his hand on the back of her head, holding her lips to his as his mouth slid to give her an offset kiss, her top between his. When he caught her bottom lip, his tongue darted out to lick across his.
"Mmmm," she moaned, her fingertips touching his chin.
Her lips parted at the request of his teasing tongue allowing him entrance to give her the deep, intimate kiss he longed for. He groaned, his fingers clenching to cradle her head. The taste of mint spread across his tongue that grazed the bottom of her teeth. Her tongue met his, ready to taste his as well that still held the flavor of the chocolate from the second piece of his daughter's birthday cake he shared with her as a bedtime snack.
Millie could feel the strength in his fingers that clutched her head, holding her in place as he reacquainted himself with every nook and cranny of her mouth. His body was solid and muscular under hers, more so than she remembered it being. He was real. This was really happening. Her husband and the father of her child had returned to her.
When his hand lifted from her head to rest on her hip, his tongue withdrew from her mouth. She slowly separated her lips from his, giving him a quick peck before propping her hands on his chest and pushing up slightly in order to see him without her eyes crossing.
"Hello again, my husband. You're really back. I'm so glad. I've missed you so much," she exhaled in a rush of words.
"Hello, my wife. Are you still mad at me?" he asked, toying with her curls.
"A little," she admitted, holding her thumb and forefinger a short distance apart as if to quantify her anger in inches. "Definitely not as much as before but still a little."
"Do you forgive me?"
"I forgave you a while back...but I'm still mad," she said as if he had forgotten her answer from two seconds ago.
"You understand why I sent you back, don't you?"
"Logically, yes. But that doesn't keep my emotions from getting in the way, you know."
"I know," he sighed, pulling her head down to his chest. He stroked her back in a comforting gesture.
"Is it...is it really o-over this t-time?" she inquired haltingly, pressing her cheek against his chest over his heart which beat faster from the question.
"Yeah," his fingers tangled into her hair as his fingertips massaged her scalp. "It's really over this time."
"She's dead?"
Millie could hear him gulp, a deep thunking sound resonating down to his chest.
"Yeah. I killed her myself to make sure."
"Oh, Subaru, I'm sorry."
His body stiffened under her, and his voice came out as a furious growl, "I'm not."
Millie was reminded of the times she had seen rare and terrifying bursts of his anger. When it was like, just for a moment, sometimes as fast as the blink of an eye, he became someone else, someone scary and lethal - someone like Hal. Unlike her ex-husband, Subaru had never been anything but kind, loving, and protective where she was concerned.
She inhaled sharply when tingly goosebumps raised along her arms from his fingers drifting tenderly across her back from one shoulder blade to the other. Always gentle. Her fingers twisted into the material of his t-shirt over his bicep on the right side, over thin air on the other.
She had not quite had the nerve yet to witness all of his new battle scars. The thought of him going through such tremendous trauma, physical and emotional, pained her like being stabbed with a sword right through to her core.
He had already been through so much in that other world, and then he was pulled right back into it for a second and larger does which nearly killed him. He had even left parts of his body behind this time while other parts were irreparably damaged.
Apparently he no longer held his mysterious power to reset. Or perhaps she assumed too much, and he had simply not died one final time, being regenerated and resurrected, before his return. One thing she knew for sure was his memories of the events that took place and the terrible things that happened to him were never forgotten even after death. How much of his mental state bore even more scars that could not be seen so clearly?
"You know it's going to happen all over again," he said, doing that weird thing he had always done of seemingly reading her thoughts.
"What do you mean?" she inquired, tucking her hand under her cheek. His heart was beating so hard and fast she would swear it was rattling her teeth.
"The post traumatic stress. The flashbacks. The nightmares. I don't want to scare you, and certainly not Emi, by waking up in the middle of the night screaming."
"I know." She lifted her head to make eye contact so he would feel the sincerity of her words. "I was there for you then and I'll be here for you now. You're my husband. The father of my child. I love you."
"I love you too," he whispered, catching her lips for a brief kiss seeking solace in their softness. "I don't want to hurt you again by not being able to separate the terror in my dreams from the reality of being here with you," he said, pulling her face back to his chest and kissing the top of her head. He left his nose buried in her hair, inhaling her scent. She still smelled like lavender and vanilla. "God, if I ever hurt our girl, I'd...I don't know what I'd do."
"We will all help you through this. You have a whole family, not just me and Emi, who have been waiting for you and will be here for you," she reminded him, laying her head back down on his chest.
"I know." He hugged her as best as he could with his one arm.
"I'll make an appointment with Dr. Burns as soon as possible," she told him, referencing the psychiatrist he had seen before. She tugged on his empty sleeve. "He can recommend a doctor to help us with getting a prosthetic. Assuming you want one."
"It would be nice to hug you with two arms. Even if one is fake, and I can't feel you. I know I'm less of a man, and I won't be able to feel anything when I touch you, but - " He sniffled, his chest quivering under her.
"Subaru, no," she sighed, pressing her lips to his.
The tear that broke loose from his eyes despite his desperation to hold them back snaked down his cheek, wetting her cheek on its way to trickle between their lips. They both could taste the salt as it dissolved between their mouths.
"You're more of a man than most who have all of their limbs. You still have one good arm and that is enough. You have a hand which will allow you to touch me and feel plenty. And your heart? You have always felt too much really. You're fine and perfect, just the way you are." She rolled off of him, and he instinctively curled his arm around her to keep her close. "I told you one arm is enough to hold me close."
"Silly me," he chuckled mirthlessly, constricting his arm around her like a python to squeeze her. "You are always right."
"Not always, but often," Millie corrected him, sitting up beside him.
As if to further prove her point, she took his hand in hers, bringing it to her mouth. Kissing each fingertip, then pressing his palm over her mouth, she pressed his fingers to her cheek. Her eyes met his as she peeled his hand away from her mouth and lowered it to her chest to press his palm over her heart.
"Do you feel that?" she asked, her eyes never leaving his.
The milky ebony marble of his left eye moved and reacted just like his other eye, shifting back and forth between hers despite not being able see her green gold irises. Subaru closed his eyes, concentrating on feeling of her heart under his hand. Her heartbeat thrummed lightly against it like the wings of a hummingbird, fast and steady. The barely perceptible taps reminded him of the way it had felt the first time he felt his daughter kick from inside of her mother's tummy.
His eyes flew open when Millie slid his hand across the silky skin of her chest. His fingers slipped under the lace of her gown and glided under the roundness of her breast. Without having to be prompted, his fingers flexed to cup her breast that was heavier and bigger than before due to motherhood.
"Do you feel that?" she asked, dropping her hand away from his.
Subaru stroked his thumb over her nipple, then back across feeling it shrink and tighten. A part of him hardened just like the nipple he pressed like a button under the pad of his thumb.
"Oh, yeah," he murmured, gulping audibly. "I know I just got back, and I don't know if it's appropriate, but - "
"Shhhh." She lay her finger over his lips. "I've missed you. Everything about you. I'm sure it's been the same for you. You're my husband so of course it's appropriate."
Subaru left his hand pressed firmly to her breast as she threw her leg across his hips like a rider mounting a horse. He kept his eyes on her face while her cool fingers slid under the waistband of his sleep pants, grasping his erect cock and pushing the fabric down in order to guide him into her body that was shockingly moist and receptive. Apparently she had been waiting for this too; to become one with him again, expressing their love in way meant for the two of them alone.
He remembered the first time with her which took place right out back in a chair on the deck. She was on top then too, taking control, and making love to him. This time around he did not feel nearly as nervous or unsure. Being with her again erased the five lonely, sad, and frightening years that separated them. Making love to her reunited them in mind and body, and most importantly, reconnected their emotions.
Closing his eyes and arching his back, he met her downward thrust with an upward pushing of his hips lifting both of them from the bed. Millie yelped in surprise finding herself virtually suspended in the air then giggled self-consciously as he slowly lowered them both back onto the mattress. His hand massaged her breast, his thumb and forefinger pinching the nipple. The sharp sting was quickly translated from pain to pleasure, making her gasp and thrust her hips faster. She sat straight up on top of him, swaying her hips like a cow girl taking a horse for a casual ride.
Subaru would happily be her stallion any day. Watching her get lost in the throes of passion had always been a thing of beauty to him. Her eyes were closed, and her face was relaxed in a blissful expression that served to heighten his excitement. Her lips parted to allow provocative moans to pass through attesting to her enjoyment of sex with him. He was happy to be of service, imparting pleasure to her while receiving plenty of his own.
"You're so beautiful," he said, removing his hand from her breast to cup her jaw.
"You're the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen, Subaru Natsuki," she said to him, leaning down to kiss him.
Subaru held her down on top of him with his singular arm hooked around her shoulder. Pressing his hand to the back of her head, he squeezed her as tightly as possible as she nuzzled into his neck, moaning his name softly. Only their hips moved as they lay bound to each other in body and heart.
"Millie, Millie," he whispered until she raised her head to look at him. He was getting close to climax, and he did not want to be loud. "Kiss me, and..."
"Let's fall together," she said to complete his sentence in unison with him.
"Oh, yeah," he groaned, grasping the back of her head.
Millie smashed her lips to his, stifling her moans into whimpers which melded with his low, guttural groans. When it was over and their bodies ceased the spastic thrusts of residual orgasmic pleasure, she tucked her head under his chin, both of them panting to catch their breath.
Subaru kissed the top of her head, stroking her face dampened with a thin layer of sweat. He hoped it was sweat and not tears.
"I've missed this," he said, tugging a curl playfully.
"Sex?"
"No...well, yes, sex. I missed that too, but I meant being so close to you, being able to hold you and kiss you."
"I know." She chuckled lightly. "I missed it too. I missed your smile and your bad jokes and your awkward attempts at being cool and - "
"Hey," he snapped in feigned offense. "I am cool."
Millie lifted her head, giving him an affectionate peck on the lips. "You are. You are very cool, my husband."
"Damn, that sounds good. My wife." He smiled up at her. She really was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen especially in moments like this. Her lightly bronzed cheeks were gently blushed pink from great sex and blissful happiness under her smattering of freckles made even more prolific from her time under the sun.
"Yes it does," she agreed, sighing lightly as she stared down at him. "I know I've said it a dozen times today, but I'll say it again, I'm so glad you're home."
"Me too. I love you."
"I love you too."