A/N: Character(s): Loki, by extension Frigga
Emotion(s): life sucks why on earth did I even watch that movie and curse him for acting it so well and curse my mind which made me think of these things at all. also I love that movie for its complexity and characters and dialogue and motivation you can sink your teeth into. same things I cry over, I know. that's how it works in the fandom.
"Define worse."
Worse, pathetic past self, is never seeing the only person who ever cared for you again. Worse, blundering idiot, is living in a prison cell for the rest of your days.
You'd thought, in your spectacularly ignorant view during your trial, that you would die. You were prepared for that. (of course you were, you always have been.)
But living?
Living in a prison cell for the rest of your days? Never seeing your mother again? Knowing your brother will take the throne he cannot, will not, will never be suited for? Knowing Odin has won?
This, Loki, this is worse.
(Then for a moment, you feel as though the universe has rewarded you for sticking through everything it has flung at you. You could see her again. You're still imprisoned, Thor will still be king, Odin has still won, but she's here. For a moment, for a brief, shining, foolish moment, you let yourself believe that things had been so worse before that they could not have gotten any worse than that.)
You were wrong.
Living while knowing that she does not is worse.
Living while knowing that because of you she died is worse.
Living while knowing the last thing you said to her was a lie is worse.
Of course she's your mother, of course of course why must you always make things—
Worse.