24 Personality Crisis
The train ride from Hogwarts to Kings Cross was a real pest this year, given that Raven had to sit in one compartment with Mulciber, Avery, Wilkes and Regulus Black. It meant she had to endure endless hours of blood-superiority nonsense, Gryffindor bashing, plus the general boasting of posh pure-bloods that were in desperate need to prove themselves or others that they were something special. Well, special they were indeed- especially stupid. The only one who was at least occasionally capable of uttering anything intelligent was Black.
Of course, no one had forced Raven to sit with the boys. There was just no other option if she wanted to enjoy Severus' company for as long as possible, since she wouldn't be seeing much of him during the summer break. Her mother had already announced that they would travel to America and meet her father, who was now working in Las Vegas. And Raven missed her dad.
So she had to bear with the likes of Mulciber and Avery, for the joy of being close to Severus. The alternatives were even more dreadful- she could either sit with the Slytherin girls of her year, or with the youngsters. And because neither way held the promise of a decent conversation, Raven could as well keep her mouth shut and her thoughts to herself, while at least being able to exchange meaningful glances with her best friend, knowing he didn't really approve of every word his fellow house mates said. All they could ever agree upon was the fact that bloody James Potter had once again snatched away the House Cup from Slytherin, where it should rightfully belong to.
Last year, he had earned an unexpected high amount of last minute points (praise the headmaster!) for having heroically saved a fellow student from grave danger, and this year, Mr Obnoxious Toerag had beaten the Slytherins with a spectacular, albeit slightly irregular Quidditch manoeuvre... life must be great if you were in the right house...
"Isn't it disgusting how these commoners act in public?"
"Yes, mother," Regulus replied absent-mindedly as he watched the offending scene, but secretly he wished that his mother would give him the same warm welcome that Mrs Lestrange was giving her daughter. Squealing with joy, exchanging hugs and kisses.
"Abnormal blood-traitor filth," Walburga Black hissed in a scathing tone, "it's downright scandalous to imagine that witch attended Hogwarts with me. Of course, she wasn't in my house - Merlin beware- and what else to expect of a Hufflepuff but to sink deep even deeper."
"Yes, mother."
She slightly smacked the back of his head as she caught him still staring at that scum. "Regulus Arcturus Black, don't ever lower your standards by wasting a glance at those who are far below us. Remember, you are a Black! You are the sole heir of a bloodline so pure-"
"Hello, dear mother!" Her other son said in a mocking tone as he walked by, following James Potter to the exit.
Mrs Black very nearly had a heart attack. "Oh... oh, that ungrateful... failure! I cannot believe I really gave birth to such a disappointment." She turned to Regulus, regarding him with approval. You, however, you make us proud. I took the liberty of arranging a small social gathering for your sixteenth birthday, and I invited some very promising young witches of flawless blood-status."
Regulus nodded, not knowing what to say. He knew what was expected from him- he was supposed to find a suitable witch and sire many little Blacks to ensure the survival of the most noble and ancient House of Black. Well, he didn't mind to finally get laid , but he was still much too young to get married any time soon.
"Kreacher will take you home. I have to go to that charity event at the Ministry, and your father is meeting with Abraxas Malfoy." With that Mrs Black spun around and was gone, and Regulus Black was still standing at platform nine and three quarters, feeling a little frustrated. He had hoped that mother would at least enquire about his OWLs, but then again academic success had never mattered that much to her. And to be honest, he didn't really need good marks to get a decent job. Actually, he didn't even need a job at all, because he was a Black.
"Master Regulus," something croaked in a bullfrog voice from somewhere further down. "Kreacher is here to serve, good Master Regulus."
"Kreacher!" Regulus glanced around to make sure no one was watching him, before he reached out to gingerly pat the bald head of an ugly old house-elf. "So good to see you."
"Kreacher is very glad that Mistress its good son is back. Let Kreacher take you home now. Mistress not wants you to look at lowly blood-traitor scum."
"I know. But she's hot, isn't she?"
"If Master wants hot, Kreacher makes tea for good Master Regulus."
Although tea was not what Regulus had in mind, he let the old house-elf take him home. But before he shook his head at Snape's stupidity. Merlin, he really is a daft nerd! Instead of pining for that Gryffindor Mudblood, he should realize that Lestrange fancied him (for whatever reasons ever) and she was at least a Slytherin... albeit of questionable blood-status.
Nigella Lestrange let go of her daughter when she started wriggling in her embrace.
"Mum, will you finally tell me what's with that key?" Raven nagged impatiently since not knowing what it was good for was almost killing her. She wanted answers and she wanted them now.
"Yes, darling. All in good time. First, I want to say hello to Severus. So, how are you, my dear boy?"
"Um..." He had been watching Lily's interaction with her parents and had decided he would try again to get back in her good books during the summer. She couldn't possibly be still angry at him after all that time. "I'm fine."
I still have two weeks until my traineeship with Professor O'Flaherty starts- that should be time enough to talk to Lily and apologise...
"Would you care to come to dinner with us?" Mrs Lestrange asked, interrupting his thoughts, and since Lily and her parents were leaving anyway, Severus focused his full attention on Raven's mother now .
"No, thank you, Mrs... er, Nigella. I'd prefer to go straight home." Home- it sounded strange since he had never felt at home where his parents lived, and he wasn't exceptionally keen on seeing them either. But it was close to where Lily lived and he really, really had to talk to her without Potter sneaking around.
"Take care, Severus." Nigella said with a warm smile before she took a step backwards so Raven could give him a proper goodbye- she wouldn't be seeing him for a couple of weeks and Nigella knew how much her daughter liked the boy.
Raven was excited and just a little sad all the same. She was excited, because soon the mystery of the key would be solved, and sad because she would travel to America the morning after. Of course, she was very much looking forward to see her dad again, but on the other hand she already missed Severus. How had she managed to survive previous summer holidays without him? It seemed to be getting worse and worse with each and every year she was secretly in love with him.
If only she could tell him how she was feeling about him!
If only she wouldn't be so fucking scared of hearing that he'd only ever love Lily, thank you very much and let's stay friends. It was so very frustrating. Usually, she wasn't that shy and insecure. Usually, she was straightforward...
Raven blinked twice when her mother Apparated her to a street in central London, not far away from Charing Cross Road and Diagon Alley. The houses in that street were old, and most of them had a shop or a pub in the basement, but not every shop or pub looked entirely Muggle. Apparently it was one of the streets in London where the Muggle met the wizarding world and they all lived together in blissful ignorance of the other one.
Nigella crossed the street and walked towards a house that held a small bookshop in the basement. Esoteric stuff, Raven concluded after a first glance in the display window. But a second glance revealed that some of the books were of magical origin.
"Are we going to buy some new books?"
"No," her mother laughed as she opened the door that led inside the house, wondering if her usually so clever daughter was really that clueless. They climbed up the staircase to the second floor, where Nigella stopped in front of a red-painted door. "You may use your key now."
"Aw!" Raven squealed excited as she unlocked the door. It opened to a two-room flat with a large kitchen, dominated by an imposing fireplace although it was otherwise furnished in a more modern way. Taking a good look around, she noticed that all of her belongings were already there, from her bed over her sofa to her lava-lamps and all her records stored away in boxes...
It was probably only then that she realized her childhood had ended; it was packed up in boxes.
"Mum?" With wide eyes and quivering lips she stared at her mother. What happened to our house? she wanted to ask, if that question had sounded less stupid in her mind. She had known it ever since her dad had accepted that job in Las Vegas that her life would change dramatically.
"Darling, of course you can still come to America with us if you don't like this place or might have changed your mind about staying in Britain. Daddy has bought us a nice spacious house in the outskirts of Vegas, and there will always be a lovely room reserved for you. You could also finish your education at the Salem Witches Institute in the States..."
"Salem Witches?" Raven cut in. "What about the wizards?"
"There are none at the Salem Witches Institute- but I've been told it is quite a decent school..."
"No boys? Mum!" Now she sounded truly scandalized, "You cannot possibly intend to send me to a nunnery!"
Nigella rolled her eyes and wondered if that might have been for the better, given that her darling daughter was mightily influenced by the spirit of 68 and the sexual freedom of the 70's. She still remembered Raven at the age of fifteen, asking her in all earnesty whether Muggle or wizarding methods of contraception were more effective. Then, she had wanted to reply that abstinence was definitely the most effective method...but at long last she had changed her mind, knowing that she couldn't stop her daughter anyway- and she considered herself much too young to become a grandmother yet.
"Oh Raven," she sighed, "although you're of age now, you will always be my little girl. So please endure with your old mother's need to pamper you. Of course, I want to keep you close by, but I also know that eventually, I have to let go. That's why Dad and I decided to rent this flat, since you will need a place to stay when you start your Auror training next year."
Wordlessly, Raven hugged her mother and didn't let go for a long time, not knowing what to say. The situation was just as wonderful as it was... scary. On the one hand, she was feeling quite mature now that she was of age, and that part of her was doing a happy dance because she had her very own place to stay- on the other hand, she was only seventeen years old, still a teenager, and her parents would soon be far away on the other side of a big ocean, and she already knew that she would miss them tremendously. Mum had always been the one she could run to with all of her problems... and Dad was just her rock...
Nigella breathed a gently kiss on her daughter's head. "Now, now darling, no need to cry. After all, we will only be a phone call away."
"I know." Raven wiped her eyes and looked around again. There was indeed a telephone installed in the hall, but there was also that big fireplace. "Can I also give you a Floo call?"
"Well, only in case of emergency," her mother said, stroking her hair. "Although your fireplace is connected to the international Floo network, I would advise you to not make use of it. Floo calls can be monitored by the Ministry and not all wizards and witches there are to be trusted since You-know-who has friends in high places..."
"Am I right to assume that we won't be using a Portkey to Las Vegas either, just for the very same reasons?"
"You are right, my dear. We will take the plane to New York tomorrow morning. I... I just want to be on the safe side, Raven."
Raven didn't mind going by plane since she was far better used to Muggle ways of transport than to magical ones, and Portkey travel in particular made her always feel a little sick. But what worried her more was her mother's apparent fear that Voldemort's influence could possibly reach across the borders of wizarding Britain, or that he could sent some of his thugs overseas just to harm her dad- only because he had dared to marry the love of his life, a pure-blood witch.
Nigella was rubbing Raven's back before she gave it a gentle slap. "Come on now, my darling, let's go out for dinner. There is quite a decent Chinese restaurant just down the road."
Severus hated being back at Spinner's End the very moment he Apparated into the backyard of his parents house and heard them shouting at each other. Then a door slammed shut. Assuming that his father had just left for the nearest pub, he took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen to greet his mother.
"If you want dinner, there are loads of ghastly vegetables in this cooling thing. You're of age now, you can take care of yourself. I'm not your house-elf." With that she walked past him and up the staircase to her bedroom, where she slammed the door.
Now what a lovely welcome, dear mother, Severus thought sarcastically. And you should have at least learned by now that the cooling thing is a refrigerator...
He didn't mind to prepare his own meals, neither had he expected an overly warm welcome since there was no warmth at Spinner's End. Here, there was only misery.
Although he wasn't hungry, he nevertheless took a glance into the fridge and was surprised. Apparently father still had his job at the grocery, and despite his mother's words the vegetables didn't look 'ghastly' at all. Munching on a carrot, he quietly made his way up the stairs to his own room. He needed to come up with a plan how to win back Lily's favour.
Just like last summer, Severus went to their favourite place by the river almost every day. It was there that he had told her all about the wizarding world and he could still recall how her angelic face had lit up in wonder. 'Tell me more, Severus,' she had always begged him- then, when he had still been her best friend.
But Lily didn't come here anymore. Neither did she take a walk by the river or visit the playground any longer. Different children were playing there now. And wasn't it funny how small the swings were looking nowadays? It seemed as if an eternity had passed since he had seen her for the first time. Innocent kids had grown into embittered teenagers, just like those that were hanging around at the playground after dark now, drinking and smoking. A new generation of losers without a future.
Speaking of losers- something else had also changed, and that really was a strange thing. Father didn't seem to be drinking that much these days. Tobias Snape appeared to be healthier and in a much better shape than only one year ago. Of course, that didn't make him a more pleasant person.
Severus had to admit that he had long given up wondering about his parents' warped relationship. Why they didn't file for a divorce was beyond him, since they were both so obviously unhappy in their marriage that keeping it up made no sense to him. All they ever did was argue, and mostly Severus had no clue what they were fighting about now.
It would have been so easy to blame it all on father, the damnable Muggle. But it wasn't that easy. Father wasn't the only one to blame for his miserable family life; mother was just as guilty. Severus tried to remember her ever smiling at him but failed. She seemed to be more of a sullen nature, always complaining, always nagging. Even though father was bringing home food now, that still wasn't good enough for her.
"Stuff those abominable vegetables up your sorry behind; I am not going to eat that foreign stuff," she yelled, calling him a filthy Muggle.
More often than not, father would simply leave the house without any further argument nowadays. Sometimes he stopped at the door to glance in Severus' direction as if he was actually considering to ask him to come along, but in the end he always shook his head, slammed the door, and was gone for hours.
Severus wondered if the doors were probably spelled to endure that constant mistreatment. What was so wrong with using the handle to close them? But no, doors in his home were never closed in a decent way, they were always slammed shut with a loud BANG!
When he was young, mother had been his only confidant. She had told him how special he was because he was a wizard, and that he was so much better than all the scum that surrounded them. For a very long time, he had believed her. He had run to her when those horrible Muggle kids in primary school had bullied him because he was different, and she had consoled him with the words that one day he would be a mighty wizard and therefore superior to them. Severus still wanted to become a mighty wizard, but he didn't believe in pure-blood superiority any more. Actually, he had stopped believing in that the very day he had first met Lily Evans.
Lily! He missed her so that he took on watching the Evanses' house, hoping to catch a glimpse of Lily, to see her red hair sparkling in the sunlight. One day, he even followed her around when she went shopping with her mother, but he didn't dare to speak to her given that she wasn't alone.,
At nights, it was even worse. Lying sleeplessly on his much too small bed, feeling lonely in this quiet, unfriendly house, he knew he was wasting his time. He was wasting away day after day, hoping beyond hope that things were different between Lily and him, while he should have read books on potions to be well-prepared for his upcoming traineeship at St Mungo's. It seemed as if the misery of Spinner's End was wearing him down, dulling his mind.
He received a letter from Raven, posted at Heathrow Airport, telling him all about her new flat in London and that her flight to you-know-where was being delayed (he knew she was visiting her father in Las Vegas but it was safer to be vague about her destination), and that she would write to him again when she was there.
His heart seemed to skip a beat at the sight of her familiar handwriting, so neat and yet so bold, and he realized that he actually missed her. She had become such a steady element in his life.. such a good friend. And that night, after reading her letter again, Severus also came to realize that living in the Muggle world was so much wore endurable when there was music...
… the bubbling tranquillity of lava lamps in her room, the record player turning 'round and 'round in circles as steady and everlasting as the perpetual course of the earth around the sun... the sound of strumming guitars, the beat of a drum...
He would never admit though, that he secretly wished for a record player. Merlin, beware. There were nights, however, when he would silently sneak down the stairs to the living room, careful to not wake his parents, and turn on the old radio.
It was on one of these nights that he finally gathered the courage to give things a direct approach. He had wasted enough time and his traineeship would start the day after tomorrow. So he penned down a note for Lily, telling her that he had to talk to her. Then he left the house to put it in her postbox.
The next day, Severus woke up to find the house unusually empty- which was strange since mother was always there, sulking around all day, muttering things under her breath. Not this day, however. She was gone and he quite liked the idea when he made himself a cup of tea, idly watching how the summer sun tried to cast its light through the dirty windows.
All of a sudden, the telephone was ringing.
Severus almost dropped his cup of tea. He had believed the line was dead due to unpaid bills, and because it never rang. Gingerly, he took up the receiver.
"Welcome to the wonderful Snape residence..."
"I want you to leave me alone!"
"Lily!" At the sound of her voice, he did drop his cup of tea and watched it shatter into a thousand pieces without really paying attention to it. Lily was on the phone! And although she didn't sound pleased, at least she had replied to his note, which was almost encouraging.
"Leave me alone, Snape."
"Listen... Lily, I'm... I wanted to tell you how very sorry I am and..."
"Save your breath! I told you before and I'm telling you now for the very last time- I'm through with you. You haven't changed at all. You're still hanging around with all these future Death Eaters, although you know how much I detest them. You've chosen your way. So once and for all- leave. me. alone."
"But Lily, I-"
Click.
"I can explain," Severus whispered to the monotone beep-beep-beep that was coming from the receiver. Lily had simply hung up before he'd had a chance to defend himself and explain it to her.
Feeling beaten and broken-hearted, he retreated to his room and sat down on his bed. Staring into space for a long time.
Lily had made it unmistakably clear that she didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore.
But if he had thought that things couldn't possibly get any worse, Severus was soon being told a different lesson.
He woke up from a nap he hadn't planned taking and heard his parents yelling at each other again. Oh, he was so sick and tired of their constant fighting over nothing that he got up to tell them to fucking shut up. But when he reached the top of the staircase, he immediately noticed that something was... different... today. Surprised, he stared at his mother's drawn wand, aimed threateningly at father, who was staring at her with eyes full of shock, trembling slightly at her imposing figure. And she did look terrifying indeed; her face was contorted with pure hatred as her words were getting louder.
"YOU FILTHY SCUM OF A MUGGLE!" She yelled infuriated. "How dare you? You will not leave me! Not for that Italian slut!"
"Don't ye ever call Anna a slut, witch! She's a decent an carin' woman, unlike ye!"
"You BASTARD got me pregnant and made me pay for that mistake. I had to live in this dunghill of Muggle scum for years. I wasted away my life for you and your ungrateful offspring, so stop talking about divorce."
"But ye don't give a shit 'bout me!"'
Eileen laughed out loud and it almost sounded hysterically. "Of course I don't love you- you're a stinking piece of Muggle shit! But you won't divorce me! I am a Prince! I stem from one of the finest and oldest families, and I will not tolerate your adulterous ways!"
Father found himself a lady-love? Severus wondered surprised
"See, we're no good match- what's so fuckin' wrong with a divorce then? Get rid of yer stinkin' useless Muggle!."
"Oh, that I will! AVADA-"
"NO!" Severus yelled as he raced down the last stairs to prevent the worst from happening by pushing Tobias Snape out of the line of that deadly Unforgivable Curse.
"Get out of the way, boy!" Eileen hissed. "Let me finish him off!"
Dear Merlin- she was totally nuts. Severus drew his wand to keep her at bay. He didn't want mother to kill father and end up in Azkaban for using an Unforgivable Curse- there were more... subtle... methods. Besides, he didn't understand why she was so unwilling to consider a divorce.
Outside in the streets, the siren of a Muggle police car was getting louder. The car seemed to slow down, a blue light cast flickering shadows on the walls; then it sped up again and drove past the Snape's house.
Tobias was hiding behind his son, shaking all over. "Oh, my boy. My dear, dear boy. My good boy."
Severus was disgusted. He hadn't saved Tobias because he was such a loving father. He had... well, he didn't know why he had done it. There was no way he could ever forget all the beating, the verbal abuse... on the other hand, he also recalled the very day father had taken him to see a Manchester City match, so many years ago...
Why was the house suddenly teeming with Aurors and Hit Wizards? He hadn't called them. Perhaps one of the neighbours had called the Muggle police and the Ministry had sent their own Law Enforcement team?
Did it matter anyway?
Severus only wanted to get away from this madness.
Later, he didn't even remember how he had gotten to London. He must have Apparated there- after having been questioned about the recent events over and over again. After the Aurors had taken his mother to... Azkaban?
Now he was aimlessly strolling the nightly streets of London, feeling lost and lonely, with no place to go. Lily had dumped him once again, with full force. His parents had just had their final battle. Raven was in Las Vegas... and he had no other friends. He could hardly show up at Mulciber, Avery or Malfoy's doorstep, begging for understanding. How pathetic the very idea sounded.
To make things worse, it started to rain. It was just a slight drizzle but it was definitely obstinate enough to soak him to the bones. Cold neon lights were causing blotches of blurred colour on the wet streets- why was he being so stupid? He could as well join the ranks of the Dark Lord now ... perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea at all. Actually, it was quite an easy thing to do. No more worries, no more fears of getting found out for faking support. No more living at Spinner's End. Why was he so adamantly against joining the Death Eater? True, he didn't believe in their blood-superiority nonsense. But he could nevertheless accept the chance Lord Voldemort was offering him on a silver tray; the chance to become a wizard of importance, of fame and recognition in this new world the Dark Lord promised.
A door opened to his left, spilling out a group of Muggles. All dressed to the nines in bell-bottoms and absurdly flashing colours. They were laughing as they scampered down the street to the nearest tube stations, totally unaware of the wizard lurking in the shadows, thinking about joining an organisation that would love to dispose of them in a lethal way.
In his mind's eye, Severus saw pictures of Hiroshima and shook his head.
The door was still standing ajar. Now he could hear the music, the raw and wild tunes coming from the basement. There was a staircase leading down to a club, and he noticed it was the same club he had been to on New Year's Eve, with Raven. For reasons he didn't know, he entered and gingerly walked down the stairs. Fortunately he was wearing his Muggle clothes.
A Punk rock band was playing at a small stage.
He still refused to call that music, and yet he stopped transfixed, staring at the scene, watching those kids (they couldn't possibly be older than he) on stage. Although they were hardly able to handle their musical instruments, probably not even knowing a single note either, it nevertheless stirred something deep within him.
Their music was dissonant and very loud- all screeching guitars, the hard beat of a drum, a singer who rather screamed... screamed out his anger, his frustration. And all of a sudden, the anger that Severus was harbouring seemed to subside as if it was taken away by the raw energy of their songs. They were singing about a lost generation with no future, because they were the scum of Muggle society and they knew it. They knew they might never have a chance in life, and yet they screamed it out loud, for everyone to hear, as if they were even proud of it.
It was then that Severus understood- your future is what you make of it. Look at these boys, they don't wallow in self- pity because life is treating them unkind. No, they took their instruments, they went on this stage, and they started playing. They believe in what they are doing and they are taking their chance. Perhaps, one day, they will become famous and sell a lot of records. And even if they fail, at least they tried to rock the world with their rebellious tunes...
He rolled his eyes at his own imbecility for actually considering to join Lord Voldemort as soon as things got out of control, as if the Dark Lord would offer a sensible solution for his problems. Merlin, Professor O'Flaherty himself had offered him a traineeship at St Mungo's potions research department! And the traineeship started- oh shit!- tomorrow already...
Well, he mused sardonically, at least I'm already in the right town; I merely have to stay up all night...
If he managed to not cock it up completely, he might actually get accepted as an apprentice for the coming year, and then he would become an esteemed potions master one day...
"You play in a band?"
A girl's voice was interrupting his thoughts, and he blinked to stare at her. She was quite a pretty Muggle girl with spiky orange hair. Was she really talking to him? "I beg your pardon?"
She laughed and repeated herself. "You play in a band?"
Severus shook his head in the negative. "No, I don't play any music instrument."
"Guess, you're a singer then, 'cause you've got a great speaking voice."
"Um... no."
The girl shrugged. "Anyway- you want a drink?"
Dear Merlin, was she really trying to chat him up? She must be quite intoxicated already.
Meanwhile, the band had played their last song and left the stage. A diskjockey was taking over now, playing songs that Raven would have liked. Severus was looking in his direction to avoid staring at the girl or having to answer her question. Although he was kind of thirsty, he definitely didn't want to drink any alcoholic beverage and he doubted she would approve of him saying that a glass of water was acceptable.
Giving the diskjockey a second glance, Severus realized he actually knew that man. He was the owner of Raven's favourite record store, John- no, Jeff... Jeffrey was his name. Severus decided to flee the rather uncomfortable situation with the girl in order to say hello to Jeffrey. After all, it was a polite thing to do, greeting someone you're familiar with.
Jeffrey was a plain looking Muggle with bad teeth, long brown hair, and a quite prominent beer-belly. He was also a nice guy for he beamed at Severus (showing his bad teeth), remembering him being Raven's friend.
"Hi- it's Severus, isn't it? So good to see you again."
He didn't need to use Legilimency to know that Jeffrey meant exactly what he said; the man had such an open face, totally incapable of hiding his emotions even if his very life depended on it. It was hard to not like Jeffrey.
"Is there anything you want to hear?"
Severus shook his head. He wasn't that familiar with Muggle music to have any preferences, but he liked the records Jeffrey was playing. Of course, they were soon talking about Raven and how she might be faring in Las Vegas. Obviously she had told her Muggle friends of her whereabouts although she hadn't told them the real reason of why her father had left Britain... and it definitely sounded believable that he had simply accepted a promising offer in Las Vegas. Besides, there was still the Statute of Security to be kept, even if anyone had believed the truth about a Dark Lord threatening the lives of blood-traitors and their spouses...
"You alright?" Jeffrey asked when Severus was becoming more and more monosyllabic, apparently lost in thoughts. He was now playing the last song of the evening.
"Yeah, sure." Severus lied as he watched people ordering their last drinks, wondering how to pass time until he was supposed to report at St Mungo's for his traineeship. It was only 3 AM now and he had to be there at 7. He began to wish he hadn't left Spinner's End so head over heels, so awfully unprepared and penniless; he didn't even have a single Knut...
"What's wrong, Severus?"
Although he liked Jeffrey, he wasn't that close with him to tell him that his mother had tried to kill his father with an Unforgivable Curse.
"Problems at home?" Jeffrey inquired sympathetically.
"Indeed," Severus replied.
"Ah, so you ran away and now you have no place to stay for tonight?"
"That would describe the situation quite correctly," Severus mumbled.
Jeffrey surprised him with unique goodness. "Well, don't worry 'bout that. If you've got no place to go, you can kip on my sofa."
"I don't want to be a burden," Severus said after thoroughly considering this generous offer. He was tempted to simply accept it.
"Nonsense, you're no burden, mate."
They took a cab to Jeffrey's place, which was in the same building as his record shop. But where the shop ended and the flat began, Severus couldn't tell because there seemed to be records everywhere. Crossing the shop, they entered a back room stuffed with unpacked boxes (containing records), then they walked up a staircase to a room filled with shelves full of records. Apparently that was Jeffrey's private collection, and it was vast. Posters showing Muggle singers or bands covered the walls.
"You can crash there," Jeffrey said, pointing to a slightly threadbare sofa. Nevertheless, it looked quite inviting to Severus, who had already feared he would have to start his traineeship after a sleepless night of wandering the streets of London.
"Thank you. I... I'll leave early anyway. My traineeship starts at seven."
Jeffrey wondered briefly why a boy- who was willing to do a traineeship during his summer holidays- could possibly have problems with his parents. Then he put on a record, as if he simply couldn't be without music, before he bade Severus good night and retreated to his own bedroom.
Professor O'Flaherty shot Severus a glance of disapproval when his trainee showed up the next morning. He was on time, that wasn't the problem, but the boy was looked quite dishevelled with his unkempt hair and wrinkled-up Muggle clothes in which he had probably slept. Merlin, he wasn't hiring tramps at St Mungo's!
Handing out working robes to him, O'Flaherty remembered to approach the boy about matters of personal hygiene later. First of all, and that was more important to him, he wanted to see his brewing skills.
"Get changed and meet me in the lab in five minutes."
Severus entered the lab exactly three and a half minutes later, so keen was he to see St Mungo's famous potions research laboratory. He walked through the door- and stopped in awe, totally overwhelmed.
Of course he knew that the potions lab at Hogwarts couldn't possibly compete with a big, professional one, but he hadn't expected it to look like a housewife's kitchen in comparison either. Potioneers were scurrying around, stirring potions, cutting ingredients. Multicoloured fumes were rising from cauldrons of all sizes, but strangely the air wasn't smelly nor did the fumes cloud it.
There were endless meters of working benches, an armada of mortars, short knives, long knifes, knives made of all kinds of different material. There was also a large number of strange instruments he had never seen before.
Severus was lost in reverie about what he could accomplish in a laboratory like this.
"Mr Snape, I want you to brew a burn-healing paste. Can you do that?"
He felt as if he'd just been thrown off cloud nine, back down to earth. Burn-healing paste- even a third year could brew that! He had hoped for something more challenging. "Um... sir, do you want me to stick to Borage's instructions? Or would you prefer something more potent, as mentioned in Hipworth' New Encyclopedia of Potions for Medical Purposes? I mean, there are different levels of burn-healing paste."
Professor O'Flaherty nodded approvingly given that the boy didn't only know that there were different levels of burn-healing paste, he also seemed to be far ahead in reading for someone who had just passed his sixth Hogwarts year.
Most of the day went by in a haze. Severus was so focused on his brewing that he missed lunch, and he only looked up from his cauldron when O'Flaherty approached him, slamming down a copy of the Daily Prophet on the working bench.
"You should have told me."
Severus counted to seven, then added three counter-clockwise stirs and put the stirring rod away. Whatever it was that O'Flaherty thought he should have told him, it couldn't be as important as finishing his potion. He glanced at the professor and from his face to the copy of the Daily Prophet.
Oh shit!
DOMESTIC DRAMA!
WITCH TRIED TO KILL HER MUGGLE HUSBAND!
O'Flaherty had intended to give his trainee a lesson in appearance- working at St Mungo's meant as well to represent it, and you couldn't do that looking sloppy. He changed his mind during lunch break, though, when he read about an attempted murder of a witch on her Muggle husband in the Daily Prophet. Usually, he wouldn't pay any heed to sensation-seeking stories like that, if not for a familiar name: Snape. And even if only half of the article was true, he realized that his young trainee must have had quite a traumatic experience yesterday. He had seen his mother trying to kill his father and he had saved him from an Unforgivable Spell. That, of course, excused his dishevelled appearance this morning.
"I'm sorry, sir-"
"Don't be," O'Flaherty cut him off. "You should have owled me to postpone your start of traineeship. Given the circumstances you would have found me quite understanding indeed."
"It never crossed my mind to postpone the valuable opportunity you are giving me, sir. Not because of these... unfortunate events."
"Very well, I want you to go home now and sort things out. And when you show up here tomorrow morning, I want you to be combed and decently dressed. Did I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir." Severus replied, but his mind was more on the fact that he was allowed to come back tomorrow, that he would still be working in this most wonderful laboratory. "Sir, would you like to take a look at my burn-healing paste ? I thought... in order to make it more potent, I added-"
"We will talk about it tomorrow." O'Flaherty said as he took a sample of the burn-healing paste and with that, Severus was dismissed.
Severus was only returning to Spinner's End to gather his belongings, which wasn't a lot. Just a few clothes, his books... and the few Galleons he had saved from writing essays for Avery and Mulciber, so packing was an easy thing. A flick of his wand and all his things flew into his trunk. It was good to finally be able to use magic in this house.
He hadn't expected to run into his father; he was probably still at work. But when he had just descended the staircase with his trunk, the entrance door opened. Tobias Snape stood in the doorway.
"Severus!" He almost beamed at his son, but his smile faded when he noticed the trunk. "Where 're ye going?"
"Why do you care?" Severus snapped in lack of a better answer. To be honest, he didn't know where to go. He hoped he had enough Galleons to rent a room at the Leaky Cauldron for at least a couple of days, and after that, he could still reconsider his dilemma. There was just no way to stay in this house.
"Ye... ye don't have to leave, ye know," father mumbled, averting his eyes. "Ye can stay here... I mean, this is yer home..."
Severus only sneered at that.
"… and perhaps yer mother comes back- well, I dunno how they handle things like that in yer world, but-"
"They will send her to prison," Severus cut in. "The penal system of the wizarding world doesn't differ much from that of the Muggle world, and an attempted murder is an attempted murder in both."
Unless you're a Gryffindor, that is... he thought bitterly, recalling Black's prank..
"Aye," slowly, Tobias nodded his head, apparently lost in thoughts for a moment. Then he looked at his son. "Ye saved me life, boy."
"Indeed. I'm not keen on watching people die."
"Um... thanks."
Before the situation could become even more awkward, a woman brushed past Tobias and approached Severus, smiling brightly at him as she extended her hand in greeting. .
"Ciao, you must be Severus, Tobi's bambino. So nice to meet you, Tobi told me a lot about you and how you saved his life last night. I'm so grateful for that. And perhaps you think I'm a horrible person because I came here today, with Tobi, but let me assure you that it was never my intention to break apart a family. Mamma Mia, I'm so sorry for all the mess... Oh, by the way, I'm Anna. Anna Bertolli. I own the grocery down the road, fine Italian food. You know, I'm Italian."
"Oh," was all Severus managed to say as he stared at the Muggle woman, ignoring her extended hand. He didn't really intend to be rude, he was just slightly taken aback..
Anna was a comely woman, as dark-haired and dark-eyed as mother, but that was about the only thing they had in common. While his mother was tall and slim, of aristocratic features, Anna was short and rather plumb, with rosy cheeks and full lips. But she radiated warmth... the promise of being well-cared for, like she would never hesitate to cook her family a good dinner or bring father his slippers after a hard day at work. She was the total opposite of Eileen Prince.
"Boy, ye don't have to leave," Tobias sounded almost pleading now. "Let's talk things over. Ye can come home with Anna and me."
"Si," Anna said, "I make the best spaghetti alla puttanesca. You are always welcome, mio caro ragazzo."
Severus shook his head. Yes, he was hungry, but he was too overtaxed with the situation to play happy family with father's new love now. Mind, it was alright with him that father had left mother for Anna, and he even wished them a happy life- he simply didn't want to participate in that. And he also didn't want to talk about last night.
"If you change your mind," Anna smiled at him as she handed him a card with her address and phone number.
Carelessly, Severus stuffed it in his pockets. Then he left Spinner's End without saying good-bye. He was done here.
thanks to my lovely betas, hypnotic ink and Alabaster Princess
I love reviews!