Temari

Sunday morning came crashing down on me. I felt like the gravity increased twice, therefore I was destined to stay in my bed forever. I opened my eyes lazily and saw the unusual grey dim light, filling my room. Outside, it was raining. Only now I noticed the soothing sound of raindrops attacking my window.

I got up, opened the window and jumped outside, to the inner yard of the house, bare feet, messy hair, still in my pajamas. There was a bench in the middle of grassy area and I padded there, falling onto the wooden bench heavily. I reclined my head back and let the raindrops wash my face. It was chilly to sit there, but the refreshing feeling was worth it. I didn't get to feel rain in a very long time, so I just sat there enjoying myself, reminiscing about Suna and my brothers, the missions we used to do together and the fun we occasionally had while at it. I missed the fighting, the racing, the winning. Pretending to be just a girl in a bar and spying on my enemies, tricking them into bringing me into their room, then defeating them with my brothers in an ambush. I felt powerful and confident, I enjoyed it greatly.

Now I was in a most peaceful place in the world, it seemed. I have whole six months to prepare for my school and I knew that half a year will be more than enough, there was no rush. I have some time to spend for myself, to relax, to stop hurrying, to stop caring. I can simply sit back and enjoy the chilly rain, the feeling of green soft grass under my feet, the soothing moment of my lazy Sunday.

After getting completely soaked, I jumped back inside my bedroom and headed straight to bathroom, shoving my wet pajamas in washing machine and hopping in the bathtub. I showered and stepped out of it, but I changed my mind instantly, catching a glimpse of some cherry bubble bath, I bought but didn't have a chance to use yet. I filled the bathtub with hot water and submerged myself in white soapy bubbles. I laughed at myself – this is going to be a very relaxing Sunday. I tried to remember the last day I had so much free time on my hands to allow myself to do whatever I wanted – I didn't succeed.

I thought about yesterday. I thought about how painful it had to be for Kurenai to lose her lover, while bearing his child. Then having to raise the baby all alone. I felt sad for her. The life is so unfair, robbing us from the people we love and making everything so complicated. I could see that Shikamaru was in somewhat similar emotion or mood when we left. I knew the story of how Asuma died very well; I knew there was no one to blame; however I could bet my life Shikamaru was still accusing himself of what happened. The way he kissed me – it was different. It wasn't romantic or erotic, it was desperate, it was a way of relieving yourself of your emotions. It's like punching a wall (there's still a hole in the wall of my room in Suna, hidden behind a small painting) or another person, except he probably didn't want to punch me.

Yes, he is broken. But who isn't?

I decided to pay him a visit. I jumped in my fluffy sweater and black yoga pants and sloshed up to his room in my slippers. The view I saw twisted my line of thoughts into another direction.

He was also just out of the shower, wearing only grey sweatpants. And nothing else, I swear. Bare feet, bare chest. Muscles. His hair was down. He looked incredibly sexy. I gulped.

- Are you going to stand there forever? – his eyebrow jumped up in mockery.

In fact I had a doubt if I should enter. I could feel this might end in something unexpected. Not that I didn't want that, but my mind was still having a debate with my body and hormones. I stepped inside, breathing in fresh scent of his aftershave. I glimpsed at the water drops on his shoulders, that fell from his wet hair, and something inside me shivered. I wanted to touch him so badly, I simply couldn't stop staring. Now I knew how men feel, unable to turn their gaze away from woman's body.

- Are you hungry? I just finished some pancakes, if you're up for it.

- Up for it? – I didn't quite hear the first part of the question and my eyes widened as for a split second I though he was offering me something entirely else. I felt a blush creeping up on my face and my heart sank to my heels.

Shikamaru eyed me suspiciously.

- You're strange today. Do you want pancakes or not?

- Yeah, sure. – I smiled widely, making him chuckle.

What in the world has gotten into me today? I felt embarrassed from my thoughts and …shy. I felt shy! When did I ever feel shy? I had kissed him and other guys multiple times, I have sat on top of him, for the love of god, and now I am shy around him? Just because he's shirtless? I could not believe myself.

We sat by the table, eating and chatting about Asa and his future plans about taking a group of students to teach. I tried to keep my gaze on my plate and basically anywhere but in his direction. His hair was almost as long as mine, but straight and thick, falling on his shoulders like a waterfall of dark hanks. He noticed how distracted I was, but didn't make any more remarks, just smirked silently and filled our cups with coffee. I grabbed mine and sat down on the ground, on the fluffy carpet I was meaning to bury my hands and feet into for quite a while. I stared at the TV blankly and sipped my coffee when I felt the sofa behind me move as he sat down on it, close to me. I closed my eyes painfully and held my breath for a second. It was as if he knew I was trying to avoid him.

- Come up here. – Shikamaru invited me. I shook my head without looking back.

- I like sitting on the ground.

Next moment my heart fluttered madly as he slit down to sit beside me, on the ground. Our shoulders were touching and I gulped, again, and he looked into my eyes, asking:

- What's up with you today? You're awfully silent.

I shrugged and turned my head towards the TV. I could already feel the familiar sensation of muscle weakness creeping inside me. This is what he was doing to me without even lifting his finger. I took a sip of my coffee, lowering my head and letting my hair fall down and cover it – I could feel he was still staring at me and my cheeks were getting redder every second.

Suddenly he took the cup out of my hands and I in a way I felt some dejavu feeling as I have done the similar thing to him some days ago with a can of beer. My heart sank as I knew what was coming.

In one swift movement I was lying on the ground and he was on top, his face hovering right above mine, his waterfall of hair creating a curtain, hiding our faces from the world, hiding our lips, that were just about to touch. I closed my eyes, giving up, and waited for a kiss, but it didn't come. Instead he softly touched my nose with his, then placed a kiss on my cheek. He was leaning on his elbow and his other hand was free to move, to gently caress my neck. He rubbed my lower lip with his thumb, ran his finger down the side of my face, gently tucked my hair behind my ear. His calm eyes were inspecting my reactions. His leg slit between my legs, pressing against my woman parts and he pulled my hip closer towards him, staring right into my eyes. My chest was heaving with every deep breath. I felt weak from arousal, irritated from waiting, exhausted from the tease. The only thing I could do now is respond to a kiss, but I didn't get to do that. Even my hands were not listening to me, they were lying lifeless, lifted up to my shoulders. I had no clearer way of telling him that I give up and he can do whatever he wants to me, but it wasn't enough for him. His hand played his little game, wandering softly from my legs to my waist, shoulders, neck, face, hair.

I felt hypnotized. My body was in agony, waiting for him to touch me fiercely and satisfy my craving. Instead I felt his lips, softly brushing against mine, nibbling my lower lip, but not actually kissing. I felt weak in my chest, as if my muscles were slowly becoming paralyzed and in a second I will stop breathing at all.

- What are you doing to me? – I whispered weakly with a sigh.

- I indulge myself in teasing you so you can't think straight. – he answered with a little smile and my skin went goose bumps, I shivered.

- I can't… now what? – the only thing showing my irritation was a crease between my eyebrows. I felt I don't have enough energy to put an angry note in my voice.

- I was planning to leave you like this just like you did, but now, seeing you so weak and vulnerable, completely in my control… I'm enjoying this way too much to finish it. – he smiled victoriously, seeing the horrid expression on my face.

My legs were trembling and I was gasping for air and I couldn't even lift a finger to punch him for what he just told. Actually, I'd preferred he shut up and kissed me instead.

He ran his hand down my neck and chest, shortly grazing my breasts through my sweater and towards my belly, then he gripped my hip. Tightly. His gaze has changed, I could see his dark brown eyes clouded by desire. He attacked my lips savagely, and my body finally got what it was longing for so long – a wave of arousal rippled inside me, desire filling me up, reanimating my numb limbs. My hands clung to his muscular arms and chest, feeling his warm skin, trying to memorize every line of every muscle on his back. His hands travelled up and down my body, touching and feeling everything on their way, making my throat let out involuntary sounds. I pushed my body against his, longing for a close contact, and my legs wrapped around his waist. Our lips parted for a second and I glimpsed up at the hottest sight I have ever seen. His hair falling down in front of his face, sweat glistening on his forehead, he was breathing heavily through parted lips. This is how he would look if we were making love, I thought, and that single though made my stomach curl into a little ball. That, and the way he looked right into my eyes. He started kissing my neck, sending shivers down my spine, and I instinctively tightened the grip of my legs, pulling him closer, making the lump in his pants grind against me in the very right place. I moaned, unable to stay still. Then he gripped my chin, placed a rough kiss on my lips, and said with a smile:

- Enough for you for today.

And he stood up, looking down at me and laughing silently.

- You have to be kidding me… - I hissed. I covered my eyes with my palm in disbelief. In vain, I was trying to breathe normally.

He extended his hand, offering to lift me up, and I took it. I stood up in front of him, my legs still trembling, and he was smirking at me. His lips were bright red from kissing, face still a little flushed, and he wasn't trying to hide the bump in his pants.

He walked away to his room, with a deepest sigh, that made me grin like a fool. I fell on the sofa, not really knowing whether I should leave or not, not sure of what to think or what to say. He came back with a Shogi board in his hands and he looked at me with a questioning expression. I smiled unintentionally. My lips just curled into a smile way before I could think. What is happening to me… Or more like, what he is doing to me?