CHAPTER NINE:
Girl's night out…
The news that Faith and her team brought back of finding evidence that Michael was alive and out there provided a much needed morale boast for everyone in the warehouse. After the cost of the "Battle of the Hellmouth" and the uncertainty around Michael, to know that there was a chance now re-energized everyone's efforts.
Faith had asked for another team to be put together to double their search efforts. Buffy found that she could hardly say no as she was caught up in the excitement of the moment. Another team was quickly put together and Kennedy was selected to lead it.
The plan was now for both teams to go out to different dimensions to look and place beacons and increase their chances of finding Michael or him finding a beacon. There was talk of going with more teams, but the drain on Willow just to open two portals within a short period of time was too much of a risk. She needed to rest and regain her strength between casting such powerful spells.
Everyone was engulfed in the new hope and optimism. There was talk among the group that it wouldn't be long before they found another clue to Michael's whereabouts or found Michael himself.
That optimism lasted for about three months.
oOoOo
Sunnydale, California – August 27, 2004: 1422 PST
A meeting was taking place in the warehouse conference room. The meeting wouldn't have been unusual except for the topic of discussion and by who was missing from it.
Buffy found herself reluctantly calling and leading this meeting. She looked around the table and saw uncomfortable looks on the faces of those gathered—Giles, Xander, Anya, Willow, and Kennedy. Their faces mirrored how Buffy was feeling. Faith hadn't been invited to the meeting as the topic of discussion was the ongoing search for Michael and in a related matter—Faith. Adriana was present at the meeting, but they couldn't have excluded her even if they wanted to.
Buffy opened the meeting, "You all know why I have called this meeting. We need to discuss the search for Michael and whether it is time to call it quits."
Everyone at the table looked at each other, again exchanging uncomfortable looks. They all knew that as each day went by without finding any further evidence of or Michael himself, the hard question was quickly becoming—how long do they keep looking.
Buffy continued, "I know that all of us feel a debt to Michael for everything he's done, but how long can we keep this search up? I think that the time has come to wrap it up and move on to other important tasks. I'm not saying that we still not do something, but it can't be our one and only task."
Giles spoke up, "I have to agree with you Buffy. We have to face the facts and the facts are not looking good. Other than the one sighting, there has been no other trace or information found related to Michael in over 65 portal openings."
The room was quiet as everyone contemplated what they were now voicing. Adriana broke the silence, "I am one not to be normally affected by emotional considerations. I do miss Michael and wish to continue searching for him, but I must face the cold hard logical truth that the longer it takes the lower our chances become …"
Adriana paused to let her words sink in before continuing, "The batteries on the first set of beacons deployed will soon be running out and we cannot keep revisiting universes to fix beacons and replace batteries … We do not have the resources to do this type of work indefinitely."
Buffy and everyone else could see and hear that this was hard for Adriana as she continued speaking, "I have known Michael the longest of this group. He and I have been in many 'situations' over the years. I know … I know that he would want us to not waste any more time and resources on such a remote chance of finding him. We now have to rely on Michael finding his own way back to us … If ever."
Everyone was silent in the room as Adriana's words sank in. The decision they were discussing weighed heavily on everyone in the room. Again silence seemed to engulf the room as each person was caught up in their thoughts and consciences. The decision still needed to be made.
Kennedy broke the silence. She was not one to hold back her opinion, "We all know what the real problem is. It isn't that we are giving up the search for Michael it's how we tell Faith that we are giving up the search."
Everyone around the table looked at each other uncomfortably as the unstated other topic of the meeting was being now voiced.
"We're all agreed then that it is time to declare the search officially over." Buffy said looking at everyone. She didn't hear or see any dissent to her statement.
Buffy sighed as she felt horrible for having had to do this to the man that had saved them.
"So who gets to draw the short straw and be the lucky winner to tell Faith the news?" Xander asked.
No one spoke up and again everyone looked around uncomfortably.
Buffy rolled her eyes and snorted a breath of disgust at the thought of why she always had to be the bearer of bad news.
"From your silence, I guess I'm the one that has to tell Faith that we're ending the search." Buffy said trying to keep her tone from showing her anger and disgust.
Oh this will be fun, she thought.
oOoOo
A couple of hours later, Buffy was at Faith's room door. She found herself trying to put off this encounter for as long as possible, but she couldn't wait or put it off any longer. Buffy knocked on the door.
"Come in Buffy …"
Buffy walked in a little surprised. She saw Faith stretched out on the bed with her hands clasped behind her head, staring at the ceiling.
"How did you know?" Buffy asked puzzled as she stood by the door almost afraid to come closer.
Faith kept staring at the ceiling, she was afraid if she looked at Buffy she would lose it, "When you've done time in prison, you get a sense of when things are going to happen … People won't make eye contact with you … Those sorts of things … you know."
Buffy found herself stammering, "Faith … I … I just want to say that—"
Faith cut her off harshly, "Skip it B … I know what this is about. You're here to tell me that we're giving up and not going to keep searching for Michael … Right?"
All Buffy could do was nod yes.
Faith took a deep breath to try and keep her emotions in control. She sat up and looked at Buffy
"A part of me knows what you are saying and it wants to say yes, but my heart is screaming no …"
Buffy could see that Faith was trying to keep a lid on her emotions. Buffy was feeling her pain right at that moment.
"You know it's time and this is the right decision … You have to live your life and you can't keep living on the slim thread of hope …" Buffy said showing her own sadness and understanding in her voice.
"B … Buffy … I have never asked for a favor before … I don't know if I deserve any consideration." Faith said in a pleading tone.
"What is it?" Buffy asked hesitantly.
"Can we send out both teams to search five more worlds each? I don't think it's asking a lot … is it?" Faith asked almost begging.
Buffy hesitated. She heard the tone in Faith's voice and saw her face. She couldn't recall a time that Faith had ever begged for anything. She took a deep breath, "I don't know … I'll ask to see what everyone thinks. I can't promise that they will support this, but I'll ask."
"Thanks Buffy … I … I—" Faith started speaking and then she hesitated.
Buffy could sense that she had more to say. "What is it that you want to say?" Buffy asked.
"Nothing … Just thanks." Faith said.
Buffy wasn't fooled by this and she knew that Faith was going to say and do something. She just hoped that it wasn't anything that Faith or anyone else would regret.
"I can stay and talk longer if you want." Buffy asked.
"No B … I just want to be alone right now."
Buffy turned and left. She had a bad feeling, but she also knew that Faith wanted her space. She planned to keep an eye on her … just in case.
After Buffy left, Faith laid back in the bed and put her hands behind her head and stared at the ceiling. She continued staring at the ceiling, the tears ran down her face as she cried silently.
oOoOo
The dream came again ... Faith was used to having strange dreams before—she was a Slayer after all—and often having strange dreams was a part of the Slayer package. In the Slayer dreams she'd had before, they had been filled with blood and images of death and warnings of destruction. These dreams were different … she felt at peace and unafraid. She saw a huge blue lake surrounded by a dark green forest with mountains off in the distance. She knew that she was in a strange looking room looking out at the majestic view and she could feel the warm breeze dance lightly on her skin. She used this dream as a blanket to wrap herself in and find comfort in from the harshness of reality and what she had to face when awake. Normally the dream would end at this point, but this time it was different. This time she wanted to lose herself in this dream and not wake up. If she woke up then she would have to face the reality that she was never going to see Michael again.
She realized in that moment, in her dream, that she'd lost hope and was giving up. As she felt herself give up, the sky seemed to darken and the wind started to pick up. Faith felt her fear grow, but she couldn't say what she was afraid of other than she was afraid of losing or having lost something special. She wanted to scream at the sky at the unfairness of it all. She knew that she would continue on, but she didn't want to.
"What's the point?" she heard herself say to the dark angry looking sky.
Faith was surprised when she heard a woman's voice that seemed to come from all around her. She'd never heard a voice like this before in any of her dreams. The voice is gentle and almost sings to her.
"I know of you Slayer … We have seen your universe and have witnessed the evil and darkness that dwells there. We have also seen the strength that you bring to defend your world … the same as we defended the Mantle. When I indexed mankind for repopulation in my universe … I placed seeds which would lead to an eventuality. The Reclaimers are the culmination of a thousand lifetimes of planning. They and you are part of a larger plan to defend and protect life …"
Faith watched as her surroundings faded away and she found herself standing in a desert with barren mountains surrounding her in the distance, but something was different—strange about this place. She looked up and her breath was taken away as she saw darkness and hanging above her was a large spiral grouping of stars. She may have not finished high school, but she'd seen enough pictures and TV to recognize that she was looking at the Milky Way galaxy in the sky above her. The voice spoke again still soothing and calming even as Faith stood there with her mouth hanging open as she tried to grasp what she was seeing.
"You and the Reclaimer will soon be reaching a critical point in your path … unfortunately one of many as much hangs in the balance. This is why I speak to you now … in this dream. I can feel that you are losing hope. The death of hope is a terrible thing …"
Faith heard a noise and turned quickly to face the potential threat. She was surprised to see someone walk out of the shadows. They looked human, but was wearing body armor and a helmet that looked like Michael's battle armor. She noted that it wasn't as sophisticated looking as his armor, but still looked pretty imposing and effective.
Faith studied the person and from the body form, it is apparent that this "person" is a female and is maybe just a little bit taller than her. She saw markings on the armor—an American flag on the right shoulder and she recognized the UN flag on the left shoulder. Faith's eyes went wide in shock as she saw a name tag on the chest—Lehane.
Faith doesn't know what to say or think at that moment as she tried to figure out what she is seeing. The woman in armor before her is not threatening. They stand facing each other—studying each other for what seems like an eternity.
The woman then removes her helmet and Faith is shocked by the face she is looking at. She had expected to be looking at her face. In a way she is looking at her face, but it is not her. The woman—who appears to be not much older than Faith—looks almost familiar … like she could be related. The young woman is strikingly beautiful even with her brunette hair cut short to fit inside her helmet, but that is not what catches Faith. It is the look in the woman's eyes—there's a strength and fire in those eyes that Faith has seen before … in Michael and when looking in the mirror at herself. The woman smiles as she can see that Faith realizes who she is.
"Who? How?" Faith manages to sputter out to the woman.
Faith realizes that the dream is starting to fade. She wants to hold on and not let go. She has so many questions, but she can already feel the dream starting to fade and a part of her knows that she won't remember everything that has happened. Faith can feel the sadness start to well up again. The other woman can see it and she smiles softly and finally speaks as she begins to fade away.
"Mom … Don't give up."
oOoOo
Buffy talked to the group about Faith's request and there was much relief that there hadn't been a huge incident over ending the search. There was some hesitation from some in the group to do another ten portal openings, but Buffy used her influence and force of will to convince everyone that it was the best solution and the right compromise to give Faith.
The search would be over by mid-September and then the group could move on to other things that had been left hanging for the last six months.
The first six portal openings each yielded the same search results–nothing. Buffy could see and feel that everyone was getting stressed out and you could cut the tension with a knife. She decided that everyone need a break for a few days. She called a break on operations and told everyone to take a couple of days off.
At around this same time, The Bronze night club had just reopened and Buffy thought it would be a good idea for everyone to have a night out and have some fun and unwind. Surprisingly Buffy managed even to talk Faith into leaving her room and coming along. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
oOoOo
Everyone–at least those of drinking age–had gone as a group to hang out at The Bronze to release and unwind. Giles stayed behind at the warehouse with those girls that were not of legal age to get into the club.
As Buffy left with the group, Giles mentioned about giving a lecture, to those Potentials that couldn't go, about the role of Sumerian demons and their impact on Sumerian and Babylonian society. She just shook her head as she left and hoping that all the weapons had been locked up … for Giles's sake.
Buffy was still pleasantly surprised and feeling good about getting Faith to come to The Bronze. Faith had been pretty quiet and had been keeping to herself—even more—since the decision. Buffy still kept a worried eye on her fellow Slayer.
oOoOo
The Bronze was jumping. The rebuilding of Sunnydale was getting into its final phases. People had moved back to town–some had come to make money and take advantage of opportunities from the rebuilding, others were returning to pick up and rebuild their lives. The common factor was that all the people were here to unwind and blow some steam off.
Buffy and group entered the club to the sights and sounds of music blaring and people dancing or huddled together trying to talk. It didn't take long for the group to separate as they all headed off to explore, have some fun and enjoy themselves. Buffy noticed with a small grim look that Faith headed straight towards the bar and took a seat there.
Buffy tried to put the thought behind her and went to have some fun. It didn't take long for her to lose herself in the music and after a couple of drinks, she was having fun. She moved through the crowd, catching a few guys checking her out, but she wasn't that interested tonight. She stopped and talked to a couple of people she recognized from high school—for the moment she was feeling normal. Buffy saw Xander and Anya off in the corner, they looked to be in a deep serious conversation. She smiled when she saw Willow and Kennedy on the dance floor cutting loose and having fun. Buffy saw the occasional Potential enjoying this break and having fun. Buffy would occasional take a look and see Faith still sitting at the bar. She was relieved as it appeared that Faith was staying out of trouble.
oOoOo
Faith was on her third beer and she was getting a warm feeling inside. Faith heard the fun and excitement going on around her, but she wasn't in the party mood. She was toying with the idea of drinking until she couldn't walk, but then the memories of how her mother would drink and what she could recall from LA made her rethink that plan.
I tried that already … it didn't work then, she thought shaking her head slowly.
She had come to The Bronze to get away from the warehouse and the memories that lingered there. Michael's presence was everywhere and it felt like a huge weight on her heart and soul. Faith was deep in thought as she had a decision to make.
A voice called out over the noise of the crowd interrupting her thoughts, "Heeyyy … I can't believe what I'm seeing … Faith … My sweet Faith!"
She turned towards the voice and found herself looking at a rough looking biker type guy that had a group of five similar rough looking guys following behind him.
"Sorry dude … Do I know you?" Faith asked at a loss and not recognizing the guy.
"Hey baby … It's me … Ricky. You couldn't have forgotten about me already."
"Why don't you move along … I don't remember you and frankly I don't want to know you." Faith said trying to end the conversation and put some space between her and the bikers.
"We had some fun times in LA … How could you forget them?"
Los Angeles… Faith was taken by surprise and shock. She had tried so hard to put LA behind her and the things—that she could remember—that she had done. She wasn't proud of what she had done when she had run away. She spent months there mourning, trying to forget Michael. She ran hard and wild trying to bury her pain and she honestly couldn't recall some days from her time there. Looking at this Ricky guy, she knew that she didn't know or remember him, but the way he talked he sure seemed to remember her.
The biker continued talking as he directed his commentary to his posse, "Yes Faith is a wild one … The things she could do … mmmmm …. It was so sweet. I tasted me that fine piece of ass."
The biker's voice was getting louder and other people were hearing the conversation and taking notice of the group. Faith saw the bikers checking out her body and getting lustful smiles on their faces. She shuddered at the thought of what they were imagining.
The biker leaned in closer to Faith. She could feel his hot breath on her—a mix of bad breath and beer. He spoke in a loud enough voice, so that his buddies could hear, "Hey baby … How about you me and my friends have a party tonight? We gots ourselves a motel room nearby and you can come back and show us a good time … Last time you and me hooked up, you had lots of 'stamina' so I'm sure you could easily help my friends out as well. We also have some party favors to heighten the mood."
The biker's buddies laughed and smiled at the thought of what they would do to her.
Faith felt her stomach fall away and she started to get a nauseated feeling at the thought that this guy and her actually had—
She couldn't even finish the thought as it was too ugly to think that she had given herself to this guy. He wasn't even good enough to get stuck on Michael's shoes.
Faith didn't know what to do as her mind raced trying to recall and pull up memories from LA. Images flashed of her being naked and others naked struck at her and she started to feel sick again.
She just wanted to leave now, she just wanted to go back to her room, curl up in bed and just forget what was happening. She got up to leave. The biker named Ricky moved to block her exit and grabbed her arm holding it in a strong grip.
"Where do you think you're going? You aren't being very friendly now aren't you? You're going to show us a fun time now." The biker sneered at her.
Faith could have easily taken the biker and his friends, but at that moment her strength and courage failed her. She froze as the memories of how Buffy found her in LA mixed with flashes of sights and sounds–of her doing things. She felt her embarrassment and shame engulf her … then the thoughts of what Michael would think and say hit her. Rather than pummel the guy and his friends, she found herself uncharacteristically looking for an escape. As she looked for a way out, she could see the other people around the bar start to talk and look at her. She saw some of the Potentials watch and talk amongst themselves. Faith found herself standing there wishing she was somewhere else or someone else.
"Just leave me alone!" she said as she started to lose control. She could have fought, but she found herself pleading to be left alone.
"I don't think I like—" the biker started to say when he was suddenly interrupted.
"You heard the lady mate! Why don't you and your traveling band of gorillas sod off … NOW!"
Faith and the bikers turned towards the voice, finding Spike standing there looking ever menacing.
"Take a hike Billy Idol!" Ricky said as he and his posse appraised this interloper into their fun.
Ricky continued with his threatening stance, "What is this bitch to you? Are you her boyfriend is that it?" he said with a sneer.
Spike just laughed, "No … I'm not her boyfriend and you and your little gang of traveling freaks are lucky that the lady's boyfriend isn't here."
"So we have a tough guy here." Ricky said to his biker friends and they all laughed.
Spike decided that this dance had gone on long enough. Spike shook his head and showed the bikers his true face.
"Mate … I'm your worst nightmare, but this lady's boyfriend makes me look like a pussy cat compared to what he could do to all of you … so shove off!"
The bikers were taken aback and fearful when they saw Spike show them his vampire face.
The bikers were just smart enough to know that they were dealing with a losing hand and they turned and left. Ricky sneered at Faith as he turned and said loudly that all close by could hear, "This whore ain't worth bleeding over!"
The bikers left the bar area headed towards the front door of the club.
Spike watched the bikers head towards the door and made sure that they actually left the club. Spike turned to Faith who was still standing there looking pale.
"Are you all right? You look shook up." Spike asked her.
Faith's memory was still flashing images and the shame and embarrassment was causing her to feel more self-conscious as she saw that everyone in the bar area was now looking at her and pointing and talking.
"I … I … I have to leave." was all that she could manage to stammer out. She turned and ran for the fire exit door and went into the alley behind the night club.
As Faith was running for the exit, Buffy had noticed the end part of the confrontation with the bikers and had made her way over to Spike.
"What happened?" she asked Spike.
"Some buggers were harassing Faith. Seems that one of them knew Faith from LA and was giving her a hard time. Faith wasn't dealing very well with the situation, so I decided to help out."
"Oh god…" was all that Buffy could say when she heard the words "LA". She raced for the fire exit with a bad feeling growing in her. She needed to catch up with Faith. Spike followed at a distance somewhat confused.
"I was just trying to help!" Spike tried to explain as he followed Buffy out the fire exit door.
Buffy burst out the exit door. She was expecting and preparing for the worse. She found Faith on her knees in the alley. She was holding her face in her hands. Buffy could tell that Faith was crying as her shoulders heaved. Spike came up and stopped at discreet distance away as he saw what was happening.
"Faith? Faith are you alright?" Buffy asked in a soft tone.
"No … I'm not alright … My life has turned to shit!"
Buffy heard the sadness and anger in Faith's voice.
"Faith, I'm sorry … I'm—" Buffy started to say.
"Skip it B …" Faith interrupted. Faith dropped her hands from her face.
"Damn him … Damn him for making me love him. I could live with what I've done in my life … I was learning to accept it, but he shows up and shows me happiness and what love really is … and now it's gone, it's been taken from me … us!"
Buffy didn't know what to say. She could only stand there and watch Faith. Spike watched the scene unfold uncomfortably from behind Buffy.
Faith took some deep breaths and somewhat regained her composure, wiping her eyes. She stood up and turned to face Buffy.
Buffy could see that Faith had the look of someone who had made up their mind and had come to a decision.
"Buffy I just want to say thanks for everything you have done for me. You've been a good friend to me when I didn't deserve it ..." Faith said.
Buffy felt that there was a "but" coming with this statement.
"I've decided that when the search is over. I'm leaving Sunnydale again … I'm going to continue the search on my own … I don't know how I'll do it, but I have to keep looking and I can't stay here anymore. There are too many memories and I'll go crazy if I stay."
Buffy stepped closer to Faith as she could feel and understand Faith's pain, "I understand … Anything you need just ask. Just know if you need me … just ask."
Faith hugged her, "Thanks Buffy."