My dears, I'm spoiling you with another chapter but don't get used to such quick updates. Enjoy reading and don't forget to review.

Thanks as usual to my wonderful team of betas, hypnotic ink and Alabaster Princess.

34- Poison

"Severus! I'm so glad you could make it." Lucius drawled as he welcomed his friend and despite his casual greeting, the sigh of relief was audible in his voice.

Severus, however, was not to be taken in by fancy words without meaning. He knew that Lucius had missed him just as much as it was the other way round, and the only interest they shared was to not get at the wrong side of the Dark Lord's wrath. So Lucius had arranged for Severus to come and there he was.

Without wasting time for pleasantries, Severus came straight to the point. "I understood His Lordship wants to see me?"

Oh, Lucius Malfoy was so easy to read. His upper lip twitched, showing badly hidden contempt about the fact that the Dark Lord- the saviour of pure-blood supremacy- had sent for a lowly half-blood, and what could Snape do to please Voldemort that he couldn't? After all, he was of much purer blood.

"He's in the Green Parlour," Lucius answered and called for a house-elf to show Severus the way.

The house-elves at Malfoy Manor were so very different to those that Severus knew- he had noticed it before and was noticing it again now as he was following that little, bony and very subdued creature down a long corridor from the entrance hall to the Green Parlour, wondering who was more nervous. That poor elf or he himself?

Dear Merlin, he was about to meet the Dark Lord again! The saviour of the wizarding world or its threat- depending which side you were on.

He entered the Green Parlour and remembered immediately that the Dark Lord expected his followers to be reverential at his sight- just like house-elves, the thought struck his mind- and so he sank to his knees and lowered his head.

"My Lord sent for his unworthy servant?"

"Severus Snape," the Dark Lord spoke in a voice that sounded like the hissing of a snake, "always such a humble and modest young man. Get up, I wish to take a good look at you."

Severus did as he was being told while his Occlumency shield went up the very same instant. Only then he dared to cast a glance at Lord Voldemort.

"My Lord-"

Fortunately, he managed to hide his shock quite well because the man who was once Tom Riddle had changed even more. His features were still distorted and of a waxy structure, like skin wrapped too tightly around a skull, and he was still deathly pale with reddish eyes, but now he seemed to have lost most of his hair. Nevertheless, he radiated more or... greater power than the last time they had met. Severus could almost feel that power; it was awe-inspiring and just as frightening as it was intoxicating. Magic was might, he realized and he yearned for that.

The Dark Lord smiled, looking rather gruesome as he did so. Then he reached out one long, spidery finger to tilt up Severus' chin, and even that one finger seemed to have more magical power than Severus had in his whole body.

"It came to my attention that you're doing well in your apprenticeship," Lord Voldemort said; it almost sounded like a praise. The Dark Lord was pleased indeed with his promising future follower since he only saw awe and admiration in him, mingled with just the right amount of fear.

"My Lord, I feel deeply honoured," Severus bowed his head again. Anything to avoid those horrible blood-shot eyes, "but I'm not worth the attention of a wizard as powerful as you are. I'm just at the beginning of my apprenticeship and my skills are poor in comparison to yours."

"Indeed. Nevertheless, I will give you the chance to prove yourself worthy, Severus. You still owe me a favour."

'Anything, my Lord,' he had once replied so foolishly, thinking he could win time while knowing that the Dark Lord would remind him of his promise; Severus had just hoped it would rather be later than so soon already. But did he ever really had a chance to avoid Lord Voldemort for good? Did he even want that? His power was so intriguing, he longed to have a share in it.

And so he replied with the very same words. "Anything, my Lord."

Severus was torn between feigning his humble allegiance and actually believing in it- after all, he was face to face with an extremely powerful wizard, a master of the Dark Arts and an exceptionally skilled Legilimens, and if he ever wanted to get out of his host's snake pit alive, he had to play along. On the other hand, Lord Voldemort's power was like a drug to him. He knew that it was unhealthy and addictive; it would drag him down into a vicious circle of violence... and yet it held an allure he felt oddly drawn to.

But then there was that nagging voice in the back of his mind, chiding him for being such an idiot boy. The voice said, 'come around, Sev, you don't really want to give up your humanity for power and a face like his!'

Strangely, it was Raven's imaginary voice- not Lily's- that stopped him from doing something incredibly stupid, like pledging his soul to the Dark Lord. Nevertheless, he still owed Voldemort a favour.

-o-

Raven had set the table with care; the wine glasses were polished and she had lit some candles. The delicious smell of garlic and seafood was wafting through the kitchen. Now all she needed for a cosy evening was Severus to come home; he was a tad late already.

She glanced at the clock on the wall, wondering what had kept him. Half an hour later she glanced at the clock again but only five minutes had passed. Raven lit a cigarette. She hated waiting, especially when she had outdone herself with cooking. And even more when there was a brand new Harley Davidson standing outside in the street, eager for a nightly cruise. But no, she had wanted to celebrate with Severus and now she was waiting for him and the pasta was getting cold. Had he forgotten their date? Was it called a date at all, when two flat mates were meeting for dinner in their own kitchen?

After half an hour had actually gone by, Raven was getting impatient and with impatience came disappointment. Also, she was a little upset- he could have at least Floo called to tell her he wouldn't make it on time because of... whatever. Exploding cauldrons, the spread of a new disease that only he could find a cure for, the appearance of a troll wrecking havoc at St Mungo's.

On the other hand, it was not typical for Severus to let her down. Of course, he did so every day simply because he was still in love with bloody Lily-soon-to-be-Potter, but that was just another story. Usually, he was a very reliable guy and not someone who forgot about an appointment because it was so much more fun to hang around in a bar with his friends, getting drunk.

When Severus was more than an hour late, Raven cast a Foveo charm on the food in order to keep it warm, although it was probably too late for that anyway. Then she went to her room, slammed shut the door and turned on her stereo, feeling torn between sulking and beginning to worry about him.

One hour later, she was definitely anxious and almost sick with worries. Since it was more than just unlikely that Severus would forget about an appointment made at lunch- and Sev wasn't tardy- the only explanation for his delay was that something must have happened to him. But what? And how was she to find out about it?

Raven racked her head in an attempt to come up with the names of some of his colleagues at St Mungo's potions research, but as far as she remembered, he had never mentioned anyone he was friends with. And it was too late at night already to Floo call Professor O'Flaherty, in order to ask him where his apprentice had disappeared to after work. The idea in itself was ridiculous.

All she could do was to wait for him, and that was quite a taxing thing to do for a worried witch. The idea of sending her Patronus crossed her mind, but she dismissed that idea just as quickly as it had come to her. It might be too embarrassing- after all, she didn't want to appear like a mother hen watching over him- but most of all, she didn't consider it wise, not safe enough. Probably, it was even a sense of foreboding and expecting the worst...

Raven fetched herself the bottle of wine from the kitchen and lit a cigarette to calm her frayed nerves. Merlin, she really hated waiting without being able to do something, anything. She glanced at her watch. It was already ten to eleven.

If Severus didn't come home before midnight, she would have to cast a Subsisto spell on the food and... do what? Ride her Harley to- where? Where in Merlin's name was Severus? She lit another cigarette and tried to stay calm but failed miserably; her hands were shaking.

-o-

Finally, at exactly twenty-two minutes to midnight, there was suddenly a sound at the door. Trembling fingers were turning a key in the lock...

Raven jumped and ran down the hall in order to welcome him, or yell at him for keeping her in the dark about his whereabouts, or... But then she gasped at the sight of him as he stumbled inside, barely able to stand on his own two feet much longer, and only an instant later he collapsed in her arms.

"Sev!" She called out, her voice sounding shrill with panic."You alright? No, forget my stupid question 'cause it's pretty obvious that you're not alright. Is there anything I can do for you? I mean, except babbling..."

His face was as white as chalk and he was breathing heavily, nevertheless he managed to push her away, escaping to the bathroom. "Leave me alone."

He slammed the door in her face, leaving her almost howling with frustration. She wanted to know what had transpired, why he was in such a state. Most certainly he wasn't drunk although she could hear him retching; then he turned on the shower.

Raven pondered whether to remain seated in front of the bathroom door so that he would have to stumble over her when he got out, but then she decided to go to the kitchen and have another glass of wine. And a cigarette. She could use a fag now.

An eternity seemed to pass before he finally exited the bathroom and scuffled into the kitchen, his head hung low. Wet strands of hair were covering his face like curtains of black; there was no way for Raven to fathom his mood.

For an instant, he halted at the door, taking in the scenery. The candles were still burning, the table was so nicely set, and the food on the oven smelled delicious- Severus hated himself for having disappointed her. He would always mess up everything, with everyone. His whole life was a bloody mess.

Severus sat down on a chair and buried his head in his hand, wearily rubbing his face before he mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"Care to elaborate on that?"

He grabbed for the wine bottle and- without bothering to use a glass- took a good swig, drinking the wine as if it was water. It was such an unusual attitude for him that Raven worried even more.

"Are you willing to talk to me or not?" Sometimes, Raven wished she could just as easily switch into the 'we're not on speaking terms' mode as Lily used to do, because then she would have been able to simply ignore him and his moods; she could sulk more and worry less...

"The Dark Lord does not ask if it is an opportune moment when he wishes to see someone."

Now her jaw dropped and she stared at him with eyes wide open. Meanwhile, Severus helped himself to one of her cigarettes, lighting it with slightly trembling fingers.

"What did that wanker do to you?"

Smoking made him cough, nevertheless he inhaled deeply once again. He knew, he shouldn't talk about his meeting with the Dark Lord- for her safety- but he couldn't keep hush things either; Raven would pester him with questions until he finally gave in. "You can tell your friends at the wonderful Order of the Phoenix that the Dark Lord chose me to develop a potion that is deathly venomous and to which there will be no remedy available."

"Sev, you may question my morals but never my loyalty. Of course I will not run to Dumbledore's bloody Order and... tattle."

"Perhaps you should reconsider your loyalties."

"I don't think so."

"But I-" Severus took another swig of wine, "I didn't object."

"Since I mightily doubt that Lord V would have accepted no as an answer, I'm glad you didn't refuse to cooperate, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here with you now."

She was right, and it was also a very Slytherin approach. Although she often acted with the idealism of a Gryffindor, Raven didn't see the world divided in black and white like they did. She knew all the different shades of grey, and apparently she didn't think it condemnable that he had agreed to follow the Dark Lord's biddings to first and foremost ensure his own well-being.

Raven reached out to take one of his hands in hers. Her palms were so warm and soft he almost wanted to weep. His evening had been so horrible, so very straining and exhausting- physically as well as mentally- and it felt so damned good to just find some peace now. To enjoy her touch and the unwavering friendship she offered without ever questioning him. When he was with her, he could easily forget the pain and torment he had suffered tonight, and in a very weak moment he even wondered if he could possibly bottle these feelings and sell them as a cure for after effects of the Cruciatus Curse.

Severus must have dropped his Occlumency shield for a brief moment, because Raven gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze and asked again, "What did that bastard to do you?"

"It was meant to be a warning to not fail him."

"Hm," she huffed, "I guess he's never heard of positive sanctions as a possible encouragement to secure the motivation of his followers."

Her words sounded so absurd, he almost laughed out loud. "No, definitely not. The Dark Lord's reign is built on fear and terror."

"Yeah, just like that of any tyrant. I'm wondering why mankind in general are still falling for despots like him, when history shows that it always ends the same- but no, it always needs thousands of innocents to die a horrible death before they finally wake up to realize that, once again, they have been fooled, cheering for just another devil in disguise."

"Unlike you, most people are no history geeks."

"True- but what does a potions geek like you suspect Lord V is hoping to achieve with that potion you are supposed to brew for him? I guess he didn't order it to use it on himself and spare us all a lot of trouble?"

Severus shrugged, he really didn't have any clue what the Dark Lord was up to, but the very idea of him being in possession of a poisonous potion (to which no cure was available) was alarming indeed.

"Ah, let's worry about that tomorrow. We should go to bed now," Raven suggested, stroking his fingers with gentle compassion. "You look like you could use a good night's sleep. Actually, you look like death warmed over."

Although he was dog-tired, the idea of going to his own room and sleeping in his own bed, probably dreaming of blood-shot, almost reptile looking eyes, didn't held much promise to Severus. He'd rather stay in the kitchen, holding hands with Raven, staring into her eyes that reminded him of summer skies... and warmth. It was her warmth he was yearning for and he didn't know why.

-o-

The next morning, Severus felt strangely well-rested and relaxed- until he glanced at his alarm clock. He had to blink twice only to realize that there wasn't anything wrong with his alarm clock; it was indeed past ten already and he was late for work. O'Flaherty would kill him for being that tardy!

He jumped out of his bed and straight into his robes before he hurried to the kitchen, where the Floo was. He had to make a call and explain-

"Good morning," Raven chirped as she put down her newspaper to flash a bright smile at him. "Did you sleep well? Are you feeling better today?"

"Why didn't you wake me, witch?" Severus hissed impatiently. "I'm late! I have to call O'Flaherty and-

"Sit and calm down. I already called O'Flaherty earlier to tell him that you won't be available today."

"You did WHAT?"

"Ah, don't get het up, Sev. He believed my story that you got attacked on your way home yesterday- which isn't completely wrong- and are still suffering from the after affects of a nasty spell that was aimed at you. Of course, O'Flaherty is worried about you now, but I managed to convince him that all you need is a little rest and not a stint at St Mungo's Spell Damage ward."

Severus scowled at Raven, but it didn't seem to have any effect on her; she possessed the nerve to smile at him.

"Would you like some scrambled eggs with bacon?"

"I'd like you to mind your own business," he snapped; it bugged him that she had spoken to O'Flaherty behind his back, arranging things for him without his explicit permission. On the other hand, she only meant well and her action proved that she really seemed to care. Perhaps some apologetic words were in order now?

They ate breakfast in silence and Severus decided that at least his stomach was happy with the feast while his mind was busy pondering over last night's events.

"What do you intend to do about that potion Lord V wants you to brew?" Raven asked all of a sudden as if she could actually read his mind. Of course, the idea of mind-reading was absurd and besides, that was a typically Muggle term- but it nevertheless seemed to hit the mark since he was definitely brooding about that.

"I will be brewing whatever he asks me to brew," Severus replied with a hint of resignation in his voice, trying to not show his fear of what might happen to him should he fail to please the Dark Lord. He knew that he had missed his chance to back out of this association of pure-blood supremacists a long time ago, when he was still too young, too credulous- and probably even a little too daft to really fathom what was going on.

"And what precisely did he ask you to brew?"

"I can't tell you. You already know more about it than is good for you."

"Do you actually believe you can protect me by leaving me in the dark, when everyone knows that knowledge is might?"

"Still, it is safer for you to not know all the details- at least not now." Yes, he wanted to protect her. She was his best friend, the only one who had never let him down, and he didn't want her to get involved in his dangerous liaison with the Dark Lord. In his head, he was already gathering the most vicious and venomous potion ingredients, mixing them all together in an imaginative cauldron...

Raven heaved a sigh. "You think I'm an idealistic dreamer because I tried to become a wizarding Mata Hari, but I'm not."

"I don't mind your idealism, Lestrange; it's alright with me. But it's a foolish idea to think you can actually stop the Dark Lord by continuing to spy on is followers," Severus gave to consider. "He's much too powerful a wizard-"

"He's a tyrant just like every other tyrant history knows, and just like every other tyrant in the world he's got flaws and weaknesses. And one of his weakness is his attraction to power." Raven stood and went to the fridge to pour herself a glass of her favourite, infernal Muggle drink, drowning it in one gulp to underline her addiction to that brown, saccharine liquid.

"Nevertheless, it's a very Gryffindor idea-".

"No, I beg to differ!" She cut him off as she helped herself to another dose of Coke. "It was never the bravado of a Gryffindor that finally brought down a tyrant, even if every rebellion does for sure know its courageous freedom fighters. But when all's said and done, when you count the survivors in the end, you will find a lot of clever and cunning strategists among them. Slytherins."

Severus realized that she probably had a point. After all, out of the two of them she was the history geek while he... he was a fool to believe that the random conglomeration of deathly potion ingredients he was gathering in his head would be sufficient enough to please the Dark Lord, when he had asked for something special- meaning a potion that not just any of his followers could brew. Most of them would come up with something obvious, but the obvious was perhaps a tad too easy. And so Severus came up with the conclusion that his potion had to be more subtle, something completely innovative- a challenge.

Needless to say, he loved a good challenge when it came to potions. Actually, he would need all of his Slytherin cunning to accomplish what he had in mind and to not disappoint Raven's faith in him, but he was smirking ever so slightly now because he all of a sudden came up with a very bizarre idea.

-o-

Raven didn't get to see much of Severus for the next two weeks; he had locked himself up in his room, working hard on the poisonous potion Lord V had required him to brew. She decided to not bother him unless he asked for her help. Needless to say, that never happened.

Of course, he accepted the food she provided him with, reminding him that he had to eat at least occasionally, but otherwise there wasn't much interaction between the two of them.

She still didn't know the details of what precisely the Dark Lord wanted to achieve with the poison Severus was creating for him and her friend maintained silence about it, which bugged her somehow. But she knew better than to pester him.

It surprised her, though, when she saw him walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge in order to pour himself a glass of Coke. In mock alarm she arched a brow at him.

"You alright? I didn't know you suddenly developed a liking for that infernal Muggle beverage."

Scowling at her he replied, "It's only for research," which bewildered her even more.

"You're not trying to figure out the recipe of Coke, are you? 'Cause, you know, it's one of the best kept secrets in the Muggle world."

Severus flashed her a wry smirk and mumbled something barely audible that almost sounded like 'but not for a potioneer' to her. Then he was gone again, closing the door to his room.

-o-

The Dark Lord had been just as explicit as he'd been vague about the desired effects of the potion Severus was to create for him. First of all, it had to be fatal. Secondly, death shouldn't come too soon, meaning the victim was to suffer a slow, torturous death. Thirdly, the poison was supposed to affect body and soul. And finally, it should be nigh impossible to brew an antidote to that potion.

Since Severus was a bright young wizard and a potions geek, he already had an idea how he could please the Dark Lord and still keep an ace up his sleeves. He would create something really sinister to which there was no cure for in the wizarding world- but he would have to rely on his Occlumency skills, hoping they were strong enough to fool the Dark Lord. Because he could no longer in good conscience support him, thanks to Raven constantly reminding him of what tyrants like Voldemort were capable of.

Of course, it was dangerous. And the Dark Lord's power was still so very tempting that sometimes he felt torn, wondering if he was doing the right thing. On the other hand, he couldn't back out anyway; he was already in too deep and there was no way for him to turn back the clock in order to make undone his dreadful acquaintanceship with the Dark Lord.