Temari
I was furious! The damned jerk, I can't believe I thought he might be different from the others! I was such a fool myself, falling for that lazy piece of crap!
I tried to breathe deeply and calm down. I failed. Asshole! Seducing me, kissing me, touching me and then – bam! – gone for good! And not a single message in three days! Well he left a note on Thursday… "Sorry". How pathetic is that? I can't believe I actually hoped this could turn into something more serious. He's no better than others. Actually, he's worse – at least other guys didn't make me fall for them before they try to get me to their beds. Oh my god, I hate men. I'm going to be single forever, I don't care anymore! And he doesn't even care what I think, how I feel. He was just chatting with other people, then doing his usual stuff for the last two days, and he even didn't invite me to go visit Asa. I will fucking kick his ass!
With my hands formed into fists, I strode towards the door, determined to let out all the conflicting feelings that have been tearing me up from inside for the last few days. I opened the door and froze – Shikamaru was there, standing in front of my door, his hand up in the air, about to knock. He got surprised at me swinging the door open, but after seeing my furious expression and hostile stance his face became whiter than usual and he swallowed a gulp.
- YOU JERK… - I simply couldn't handle myself, the anger and hatred has taken over the control. I didn't care about anything anymore.
My hands clenched even tighter and I was about to land a blow on his eye but he pushed me out of the way and closed the door behind himself, probably trying to avoid my neighbors from seeing anything. I stepped back, almost losing my balance, and he used the moment to grab my wrists with his hands and pushed me against the wall, spreading my feet and placing his own between mine, protecting his balls cleverly.
He looked at my rabid face as I was struggling with all I had, and his expression became somewhat painful.
- Isn't one bruise enough? – he asked me calmly.
I glimpsed at his partly buttoned shirt and clearly saw the bluish mark on his chest. That and the way he looked at me and spoke to me made my muscles feel weak. The anger was suddenly gone and all what's left was this exhaustion after being in such a strain. He let go of my hands, that now bore red marks where his fingers were holding me and little pits on my palm, caused by my nails.
I looked up at him and I couldn't feel any anger any more. I felt guilty. I shouldn't have thrown such a scene, not in school, not here. I knew he didn't mean anything bad, I knew that upon looking at his troubled eyes, without him saying a word. I knew he's here to apologize again, even though now I was the one who was about to say those words.
I extended my trembling hands and unbuttoned his shirt. I wanted to see a mess I have done, and I have to say it looked quite nasty. I carefully touched the bruise with my fingers, then my hands slid almost instinctively around his bare waist and before I could think, I was resting my flushed face under his chin, hugging him. His hands rose, one to my shoulders, another one to my head, pulling me even closer. Then he spoke.
- I'm sorry for what I've done. I overstepped any boundaries and I shouldn't have done that. It's just that I'm having an incredibly difficult time to control myself whenever I'm with you. And I like you way too much to hurt you or discomfort you in any way, so I am sorry for being such an asshole. I hate it when you're angry on me, I feel bad. So do you think we can stop fighting? Please?
I was glad my he didn't see my face. I was blinking madly, trying to avoid my tears from falling down. I don't cry. I never cry, never. Not now, not ever. Yet what he said struck me somewhere deep in my heart and I was almost crying. His words… Maybe I was wrong about what I thought in the morning. Actually now I felt stupid for thinking such things.
- I'm sorry too. For that kick and for what I was about to do to you today. I.. I don't know what has gotten into me. – Last sentence was a lie. I knew the reasons way too well, but it wasn't the time to dig into my past.
I felt Shikamaru sigh slowly, he was in some tension too, but this hug felt soothing. I looked up at him and twined my hands around his neck, tiptoeing to reach him properly I rested my head on his shoulder while his hands embraced my waist and gently pulled me closer. It was the first time we actually hugged, and it felt like speaking about many things we might never say to each other out aloud; like accepting our feelings and emotions towards each other; like simply connecting. It was warm and relaxing, gentle and fragile. It felt… safe. Being held in his strong arms, against his manly chest like this – it felt safe. A word I have never used outside doing missions, but this time it meant something entirely different I could not yet describe with mere words more precisely.