Chapter 2 – Feelings
Abby POV
I was sitting in the attic again. I was seeking a lot of solitary confinement recently, but this time I wasn't on my own. I had brought Midnight with me.
My siblings and Zeeva had been a bit jealous. Mum had 'tutted' at me but was secretly admiring him. I hadn't really seen the old bunch of people; presumably they were keeping out of the way while we got ready for school.
They were really nice. Nan and Grandpa liked to spoil us if they could, though admittedly they spent a lot of time with dad, seeing as they had died when he was young. Uncle Fred was funny and just like Uncle George, but without the hole in head where the ear should have been. Mad eye was cool, but he was . . . well he was crazy. Sirius was my great godfather and acted just like one of those kooky but cool uncles, I suppose years in prison then in lockdown would do that to you. Tonks (everybody still called by her maiden surname) was really cool and funny. Remus was pretty cool and very wise, he had gained much life experience, it happens when you're an outcast in society. I knew how he felt sometimes; vamps and werewolves were alike in that. I spent most of my time alone or with Zeeva these days, but if I felt like socialising we would both most likely spend time with Tonks, Remus and Tony.
I was trying to write again but I was finding it difficult to carry on from what I had written yesterday. It was about something random to do with frustration but it was just fuelling it. I ripped out the page, crumpled it and threw it. I would always write about my feelings but when I was frustrated and confused it was always harder to write as everything was a mush.
I started watching Midnight as he was flying around the room in the attic. It seemed to be therapeutic, it was calming me down.
OOO
I heard footsteps coming up the small stairs of the attic. From sound they belonged to dad. He favoured his right leg ever so slightly and tended to walk more on the balls of his feet, as if always ready for action. "Abby?" he said softly.
"I'm over here dad." I called out to him. I then called out to Midnight so that only he would hear me. He swooped over to me and I put him back in his cage as dad walked up to me.
"Hey, we're planning a game of Quidditch before dinner and we're a player short. You want to join us?" there were loads of players in this household so I knew that this was a subtle hint to spend some time with the family.
"I don't really play, and you have more than enough people who can actually play." A small look of disappointment crossed his face quickly, I almost missed it. "But I'll come and watch you playing. I'm sure it will be very entertaining." A smile spread across his face. I was glad I had him as a dad; he was the one helping me most through this difficult time.
OOO
I had taken my writing things with me; I thought I might get some inspiration being with my family. We were in a clearing in a wood not too far from our house. I sat next to Zeeva, Tony, and Tonks. I guess we had become sort of like our own group in the house along with Remus. Some of the others who weren't playing came over to sit with us, while the players split themselves into two teams of five.
They were playing five-aside Quidditch. It consisted of four chasers and one keeper on each side, the winning team would be the one to score 20 goals first.
On one side there was Grandpa, Uncles Fred and George, Remus, and Sirius as the Keeper. On the other were Dad, Mum, Albus, Lily, and James as their Keeper.
They started the game, it was fast paced and furious, like there weren't really any rules, just use any methods you can to get a goal and to stop the other team from scoring. I didn't mind watching a game of Quidditch I just never wanted to play it. It wouldn't be fair if I played against humans anyway, so I wasn't bothered either way, I preferred my music to sport.
Everyone playing was really good like they all played often, which knowing them they probably did. My eyes seemed to watch dad most of the time. There was this great sadness, hidden by exuberant happiness, about him all of the time. But as he was playing, all of the sadness just seemed to drain out of him. It was nice to see, as he had done so much for me, yet I hadn't really done anything for him. Just as I was thinking all of this, something hit me and some words popped into my head to go along with it. I got out my writing things and wrote them down before they disappeared again.
Seems that I have been held inside a dreaming state
I twist in the waking world, never quite awake
No kiss no gentle word could wake me from this slumber
Until I realise that it was you who had me under
Thinking sometimes made me realise things when I least expected them. Since that crazy time in my life recently, I had been like this and now I knew why I was like this. No one not even Zeeva had been getting through to me, and now I knew it was my dad who made me feel like this, I wanted to be someone I thought he wanted me to be. More words flowed through my hands.
Felt it in my fists, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids
Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs
This is how it felt in me to finally know what had been wrong with me.
"What are you writing there?" A voice asked from somewhere bringing me out of my slumber. It had been Tonks.
"Um . . . just some lyrics for a song" I said cautiously. I was always like this when people asked about my song writing. It was something private, to pour my emotions into. Yes I did write them for the band, but they had never seen half of them. Tony then interrupted, knowing this, and changed the subject.
I went back into my mind, blocking out all noise, and tried to think what I was writing about . . . oh yeah me changing in this moment of thought. I read over what I had written so far to get back into those thoughts. Just at that moment a line popped into my head and I was away again.
No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more crawling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world
Those were the words I wanted for the chorus, it was how I was going to change. It didn't seem like it was finished so I tried to think what the music might be like with these feelings, it was quite dreamlike and a bit eerie. I know knew how the lyrics were supposed to flow now.
No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more crawling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world
Now I had to come up with a second verse, as was standard in the music world. I liked this format. The first verse would give an insight, the second would give more info and the chorus would bring it all together. I would often throw in a bridge just to help the chorus' and verses flow into each other lyrically. I would also often put a middle eight in as well just put diversity into the music and to get a slightly different feeling in to the words. I decided the next verse should be about how it was changing me inside, as soon as I decided words were coming into my head to describe how the sensations.
And I could hear the thunder and see the lightening crack
And all around the world was waking, I never could go back
'Cause all the wall of dreaming, they were torn right open
And finally it seem that the spell was broken
The words for the next bridge into the chorus came to me quickly.
And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open
And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open
After I had written that down, I quickly scribbled down the chorus again just for reference for the next words. I felt it was time for that middle eight. This time some random words came into my head which would probably fit with the song.
Snow White stitching up the circuit boards
Someone's slipping through the hidden door
Snow White stitching up the circuit board
I decided to repeat the chorus and the middle eight to end it. I then looked up from my work to look at what was happening with the game. I had also managed to keep score while I was doing this; a habit of mine since I had been turned was to multitask my thoughts.
Dad's team was winning by two goals, no now it was by one goal. The other team had just scored, and again. The next goal would be the deciding goal on who won or lost. This time the battle went on for longer; both teams were fighting hard to win this goal. It looked like people had picked sides to support. I suppose I had subconsciously chosen Dad's team as I was already referring to them as Dad's team and the other team. Finally someone scored a goal; me and a couple of other people broke out in cheers as the winning team flew over to us holding the quaffel. "Extra pudding for the winners." My Nan shouted. The teams all shook hands and hugged 'good game' said from every corner.
OOO
"Kids, you're gonna have to pack tonight. Tomorrow is the first day of school" dad told us over pudding.
"How have we done this again? Every year we get caught up with the last day of being a family and forget to pack, and have the last minute rush." Mum commented.
"That reminds me, Ginny where have you put my teaching books? I can't find them anywhere."
"They are in the basement. Where you left them." She replied sternly.
"Is there somewhere I can use a computer with internet connection?" I asked.
"Yes, it's a new instalment within the last few years. It's to help with the integrations of wizards and witches into the muggle world." Dad replied "You can use almost any muggle gadget there is: mobiles, computers, handheld game consoles, and iPods. Although any assignment to be handed in must be written and you can't use the internet to find things out, not that it will actually be on there anyway."
"Cool! I need to head out for a bit; I'm not too sure when I'll be back by."
"What about packing?" Mum almost shouted at me.
"I'll do it when I get back. You coming Tony?"
"Is it band stuff?" he asked confused.
"You haven't checked your texts have you?" he pulled out his phone and found the text I was talking about.
"Oh let me finish this first please?" he pleaded.
"I have to get changed anyway, be finished in two seconds." I told him, some people looked a bit confused. I rushed up to my room got changed and was back down in the matter of two seconds.
Everyone except Tony, Zeeva and Remus dropped their spoons into their bowls. "What? I have super speed like every other vamp." I told them like they should have know, which they should have.
"Do you two need a lift?" Dad asked.
"No. Running will be quicker and we're running late as it is." Tony joined me at the door. "See ya." I said quickly before leaving the house at a fast run, well it was more like walking for me and Tony.