45-Boys don't cry
Raven wanted to support her friend and accompany Regulus to the funeral of his father, but Severus pointed out sharply that that was probably not one of her wisest ideas- to put it mildly; actually he told her downright she was a fool to believe she would be welcome at a pure-blood funeral only because her surname was Lestrange. It would only cause suspicion since she wasn't a real Lestrange, and questions about her origin would arise.
Besides, Regulus didn't need any support as he stated. He hadn't known his father well, and apart from their recent conversation, they had hardly ever talked... at least not more than polite small talk. It was the same with his mother. She was a stranger to him; a stranger who was slightly mad. But when it came to any feelings a child should have for his parents, there was a big void.
His parents had produced him- he wasn't keen to know how; there didn't seem to be much love between them, so perhaps his procreation had been sort of a close-your-eyes and think-of-the-Noble-and-Ancient-House-of-Black act. If he thought of affection or any parental care, there was another big void. The only parent figure he could ever think of was Kreacher, the house-elf.
Therefore, he didn't really mourn the loss of his father.
Of course, nearly everyone of distinction showed up at the funeral; even the Dark Lord graced the event with a short visit at the end of the ceremony. And there was a black, shaggy dog roaming the graveyard. It kept its distance to the funeral party but it seemed as though it was watching the event. Only when the last mourner was gone, it moved closer to the grave, sniffing at it. Then the dog lifted its leg and marked it.
"You know, you're really disgusting, Sirius." Regulus said. He had stayed behind after discovering the dog, since he knew that his brother was an Animagus. For a short while, the presence of his brother even came as a relief to him and he recalled the time when they were young, innocent boys and the best of friends. But that was a long time ago. Too much had happened. And despite all the differences Sirius had had with father, peeing on his grave was neither a decent nor a very mature way to find any closure. Of course, it was the nature of dogs- mixed with Sirius' very own rebellious streak and the brash, self-righteous behaviour of a Gryffindor.
The mutt woofed and wagged its tail; then it turned around and ran off, circumventing gravestones and jumping over graves.
Regulus rolled his eyes before he, too, left the scenery. Like any respectable wizard, he chose Apparation as a more appropriate form of taking his leave and catching up with the funeral party in his parents' home.
Immediately, mother approached him, complaining that he was tardy and how could he leave her alone for so long ( he hadn't been gone for longer than five minutes) on such a sad and exhausting day, knowing that the house was full of guests, and she needed help to delegate the house-elves. She also reminded him of the fact that he was now the heir of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, therefore he was to act accordingly to his new position.
Regulus choked down a groan and hurried to entertain the guests before mother could introduce him to suitable and very pure-blooded wedding candidates like Clementine Bulstrode (again), Mira Burke or that German witch, Adelheid Schwarz, a distant relative.
Fortunately, the Dark Lord was no longer among the guests. He must have had more pressing issues on his mind than consoling the grieving widow of a wizard who had always hesitated to join his ranks. All that Orion Black had ever contributed to his cause was a generous donation and his second-born; a son who hadn't proved himself worthy yet... and Regulus had no intention to ever change that, although he knew he had to act with great care.
-o-
Edie simply didn't give a damn about the revelation that Raven and Severus were magical and she was just a Muggle; it didn't change her attitude towards them since they were still the same people and things hadn't changed between them because of that- had they? They were still friends and she still liked to hang around with them.
There was one thing, though, that had changed. She was now aware of the magical world and its mightily interesting creatures, like Kreacher the house-elf. Ever since she had met him, she had been eager to draw him- their heated disputation that very day had forbidden her question if he'd sit for a portrait, and besides, she preferred to draw from memory anyway. That way she could focus on all the details she remembered and... exaggerate them in a cartoon and slightly caricature fashion.
And Edie did certainly have an eye for such details, Raven concluded after she contemplated her first sketches. Kreacher's pale eyes seemed to bulge the paper on which he was drawn; his many folds of skin wrinkled it ,and his bat-like ears seemed to be flapping like the wings of a bat.
Even Severus praised her skills, although he wasn't particularly known to be an art connoisseur...
Well, he merely said, 'It's well done' - but coming from him that sounded like a praise and Edie was happy. If only the guys at the Art Academy would recognize her skills. Or if only she had more models like Kreacher, inspiring her imagination.
Raven wanted to help her. She knew there was no point in trying to Confound the whole committee at the Art Academy only to get Edie the acceptance she was yearning for, because Edie was just as stubborn as herself when it came to reaching things on your own. And she had refused Mad-Eye Moody's poor attempt to get her a place in Auror training with the ulterior motive to win her for Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix.
Fortunately, it was much easier to please Edie. All Raven had to do was to produce a book. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander, a wizard who had devoted his life to the study of magical creatures and was a worldwide established expert in Magizoology.
Edie almost shrieked with delight at the sight if the most horrible, ugly and fascinating beasts, and she couldn't help wondering why (if they were in fact real- what Raven ensured her they were) she hadn't met a troll, a dragon, centaur, phoenix or unicorn yet. After all, those beasties were familiar to her. They were known in Muggle art and literature from the Middle Ages on.
"Hm, I guess that's got to do with religion and its influence on Muggles, making them fear anything magical or supernatural. Remember the inquisition and the persecution of witches in these times," Raven gave to consider. "The religious madness took on a form of fatalism, which also caused the drift between the magical and the Muggle world- it was much safer to not believe in anything the Bible didn't approve to, and so a lot of the old knowledge got lost."
"Wow, she really is a history geek, ain't she?" Edie exclaimed, glancing at Severus who merely smirked. But he smirked in a very affectionate way. It was a smirk that seemed to affirm her suspicion that there was more between Raven and Severus than they were willing to tell. Apparently they were an item now- of course, they wouldn't snog in front of an audience to prove it; it was more a matter of small gestures that told Edie she was right. With a smirk of her own, she turned her attention to the book in front of her again, flickering through its pages.
It was absolutely incredible! There were more weird, strange and fascinating magical creatures than she had ever dreamed of, and her fingers itched for a pen so she could draw them. And Edie desperately needed some good and inventive sketches. She couldn't wait any longer for the Art Academy to accept her; she had to make a living and she wanted to do that with something she loved doing. Drawing. And since she didn't care about the material she was drawing on, she had approached Spike, who was an established tattooist. But Spike wanted to see dragons and monsters and such stuff, so she had to come up with something special. Like that Mooncalf or an Acromantula, goblins, gnomes, trolls and ghouls and...
"Awesome!" Edie stopped turning the pages at the sight of a pixie that was just as blue as her own hair was. In her mind she had already collected a folder full of conceptual designs for Spike- he would not refuse her if she showed up with drawings of amazingly ugly creatures. "May I borrow your book for a while?"
"Sadly, no." Raven hated to disappoint Edie, knowing her friend didn't have an easy life. She wanted to help her but unfortunately there was- once again- the Statute of Secrecy to be considered. They had already taken a great risk by informing a Muggle about the wizarding world, and perhaps it had been careless or just downright stupid of Raven to show her the book in the first place, but there was an even greater risk if she lent it out. Although she trusted Edie to keep her tongue, she also knew that Edie shared a flat with three other girls... and she didn't trust them. Besides, magical books had a life of their own. Especially one about magical beasts. It could happen that, all of a sudden, it started to bite the fingers of whoever was turning the pages. Or that the pictured beast decided to shriek or howl- which was more than just unpleasant when it was a banshee.
Raven tried to explain all that, and then Severus came up with a sensible solution.
"You realize that we cannot let the book leave our place, where we are able to keep you safe of its magical impact and influence, but what we can do is to offer you a place you can come to and do your drawings."
-o-
Edie was pleased with that generous offer. She tried to not make a claim on it too often, for she wanted to allow Severus and Raven a bit of privacy, but in the end she did spend quite some time at their place.
Sometimes, the posh boy would show up there, too. In fact, he showed up there very often recently, bugging her with endless questions about the Muggle world. Some of them were mightily naïve while others seemed to be more elaborate. Nevertheless, Regulus Black was getting on her nerves.
Most of all, it was the fact that he was aristocratic. And Edie despised the offspring of the so-called upper class for their arrogance and for all the privileges they enjoyed while someone like her would always go away empty-handed. Just like the Art Academy was crowded with posh boys from well-established families but with no talent, and she (who was definitely more skilled than any of them but of working class) would never be accepted.
So, perhaps it was her last and only chance to live on arts if she could please Spike, the tattoo-artist. He might be her saviour, the one who would spare her from having to eke out a miserable existence as a temp in the supermarket for all of her life..And Edie simply didn't care if she presented her art on canvas, paper... or skin.
-o-
Raven had thought about hiding the Daily Prophet that day, but then she had changed her mind since Severus would find out anyway. The news hadn't made it today's headline due to more important events, and yet you could always rely on that horrible Rita Skeeter to pester the wizarding world with gossip no one wanted to know.
The announcement was on page two. Lily Potter, nee Evans, was pregnant.
Although Raven had already expected that to come quite as a shock to Severus, his reaction hurt nevertheless. Her mood dropped several degrees when she watched him pale before his face took on a stony expression, hiding his feelings. But she knew him too well and for too long to not figure out his emotional state.
His Lily was expecting the child of his worst nemesis. All of his dreams of a happy ending with the girl he loved dissolved into an even more unlikelihood and he seemed to be shattered about the near impossibility of winning her back for good.
It hurt to see him like that. And it hurt even more to know that the man she loved got all gloomy and sad about the fact that the girl he loved was expecting the child of another man, who was- to top it all- his worst nemesis.
There was no point to put lipstick on the a pig; it would still remain the same old ugly beast of jealousy in combination with the ever-lasting question of why, oh why such an intelligent guy like Severus failed to see that Lily would never come to love him.
Well, perhaps the answer to that was that love knew no reason. Raven herself was the best example for it. Her pride had gone down the drain the very day she had begged Severus to give them a try, knowing quite well that he didn't love her. At least not like he loved bloody St Lily...
It was frustrating. Even more so since she had felt comfortable with their arrangement and the spark of hope that had arisen with every kiss and with all the times they had made love... and then her frustration gave way to anger. She didn't want to be the sad victim of her affection any longer.
"Well, what did you expect, Sev?" She snarled rather uncompromisingly. "They're married, so of course they have sex- and the likely result of sexual intercourse is pregnancy."
All of a sudden, Severus' face fell and he paled even more when he thought about the consequences of her words, and for once that had nothing to do with Lily and James Potter...
"Merlin!" He gasped, a hint of suspicion in his voice, and he seemed to lack his usual eloquence when he started to stutter quite awkwardly, "You and I... I mean... we, um... we're having sex and- we never thought about... contraceptives. There are spells, even a potion-"
"Ah, now that's so typically male!" Raven exclaimed, sounding slightly pissed off. Apparently he was scared that she could get pregnant- after weeks of making love that question had never troubled him. Great! "Guys never care until it's too late, and then they are shocked. In the end it's always the girl who has to take care of contraceptives, and believe me, Sev, I do. So don't worry- most certainly I'm not planning to foist a child on you, especially not in these times. Besides, unlike Mrs Potter, I can think of better things to do with my life than changing nappies when I haven't even learned a decent profession yet. Also, I wouldn't want to lose my current job by ruining my shape with pregnancy."
Severus heaved an inaudible sigh of relief. So he was out of the wood concerning that. At the same time, however, he felt a sharp pain of regret and he didn't know where that was coming from since he most certainly didn't want to father a child now; not in these times. On that point, he totally agreed with Raven.
"I'm sorry," he said, which seemed to take the wind out of her sails. "We should have talked about it earlier. You know I'm usually not that careless."
Raven rolled her eyes. Sometimes she could kill him for the influence he had on her, especially when he stood there, looking all contrite. Then she wanted to kiss him for still being kind of awkward in social interaction and also in his relationship with her.
Nevertheless, she was still a little angry about his reaction concerning Lily's pregnancy. Would he ever get over her?
"I know," she said in a more placable tone. "Shit happens. Now we talked about it so all is fine, and I don't care what you're doing tonight but I want to go out. Join me if you like but please don't spend the whole night brooding about the injustice of life only because bloody St Lily is with Potter's child."
In the end, he joined her. It was her night off and they had long planned to meet their friends at the gig of a new band he liked; even Regulus wanted to come along. The whelp was keen to make his first experience with the Muggle night life, as he had stated.
-o-
Severus didn't regret his decision. Actually, he even had fun that night. Mostly due to Regulus' amazement about the night life of Muggles and the way he kept looking around saucer-eyed. Severus had to elbow him occasionally, reminding him to keep his mouth shut so that people wouldn't start staring because the boy was apparently still wet behind the ears- at least when it came to Muggle subculture entertainment.
But then Edie showed up and Severus left it to her to get pestered with Regulus' greenness. He simply gave him the good advice to buy her a beer for her effort, before he focussed his attention on the band on stage.
Therefore, Severus didn't notice how much Regulus had taken his advice to heart. The boy had not only changed some Galleons into Muggle currency this morning, he also was very generous in spending it. And very eager to try Muggle beverages. He was already a sucker for Coke but now he also developed a liking for Muggle beer (which was considerably stronger than Butterbeer) and since he considered it polite to clink glasses with Edie when he was buying her drinks, he soon made his first experience with gin and vodka...
-o-
Strangely, Severus hadn't thought of Lily all night, he reflected when he was lying in bed with Raven later that night- or rather, early in the morning. It was so easy to forget when he was with her, and holding her in his arms felt just so very... right.
He wondered why. How did we end like that again, making love as though nothing had happened?The news of Lily's pregnancy had shattered him, leaving him hopeless and disillusioned. Also, the argument with Raven had taken its toll on him. He realized that his reaction must have come like quite a blow to her, since most girls didn't want to hear from their lover that he absolutely dreaded a possible pregnancy, and especially when he hadn't done anything to prevent it. Fortunately, she had made it unmistakably clear that she didn't intend to have children any time soon. And yet, he was feeling miserable about it...
"Raven?" He whispered, caressing her cheek. They had hugged during the gig; it simply was her way to express joy, but holding her in his arms seemed to always provoke a certain... hunger in him. He would have felt bad about that if his need hadn't been greeted with the very same sentiment. Although she was still marginally mad at him, they merely had to look at each other to decide it was about time to go home and indulge in a wild snogging frenzy that soon landed them where they were now. Between the tousled sheets of her bed.
"Um-hm...," she replied sleepily as she opened one eye to give him a weary but satisfied glance.
Gently, he wiped an unruly strand of hair off her face, looking for words to express- not what he was feeling that very moment but what he needed to say. "I... I didn't want to sound rude, earlier on. I must admit that the very idea of you getting pregnant startled me, even shocked me. That doesn't mean, however, that I totally abhor the idea in general. Perhaps, one day, I will appreciate it. But not now. I'm glad we agreed on that. And I'm sorry for being a mindless berk and not having broached the question of contraception before."
Instead of giving a reply, Raven simply reached out for him and pulled him closer so that she could kiss him. It were moments like these that made her believe she still stood a chance to win him for good; in moments like these she simply knew he loved her although he himself wasn't aware of it. But if he could possibly imagine to have kids with her one day- even though she didn't want any (at the moment)- all was not lost. There was still a chance, still a future for them... a future without Lily being her constant rival...
-o-
Despite the night they shared, Severus was in a broody mood the next day and so Raven decided to serve them a nice meal. She was just pouring the spaghetti in a colander when there was a knock at the door and Regulus Black entered, looking kind of battered.
"You alright?" Raven asked worriedly, fearing he'd probably had an encounter with the Dark Lord. So close to Christmas he was quite generous with using the Cruciatus Curse on his followers-perhaps he thought that an adequate Christmas present to ensure their loyalty.
"Nooo," Regulus groaned. Wearily, he sat down at the kitchen table, wincing as he did so.
Raven then recalled that he had given in to the many pleasures of the Muggle world last night, and she was almost annoyed at herself for worrying about him. Apparently, he simply had a hangover.
Severus seemed to be thinking just the same. "Do you want me to brew you a hangover potion?" He sounded slightly irritated- just like Raven, he would have preferred a calm and mostly undisturbed evening. It bugged him that the boy was always hanging around with them.
"Ugh! I can do very well without any of your foul-tasting potions, Snape. Thank you very much."
"So what do you want here?" Severus asked brusquely, always the perfect host.
"Sympathy..." Regulus lifted his head and sniffed the air for the wavering, aromatic fumes coming from a pot of tomato sauce still simmering on the stove. "Is that garlic I smell? Basil, thyme and rosemary?"
"Oh, do you want to join us for dinner?" Raven asked with a hint of sarcasm in her voice since he had almost invited himself already. She heaved a sigh. Although she had wanted to spend a quiet evening with Severus, she simply couldn't send Regulus away. There was something wrong with him. He wasn't just suffering from a hangover...
"Yes. Thanks!" The boy beamed at her, trying to hide the pain as he fidgeted in his chair.
"Reg, what happened to you?"
"I'm fine."
Almost simultaneously, Raven and Severus arched a sceptical brow at him, reminding the boy that it was always wiser to tell the truth.
"Alright, I'm not. Are you satisfied now? I got drugged, seduced, abused and marred by that horrible friend of yours."
"Aw, poor ickle Reggiekins," Severus' voice was dripping with sarcasm. Of course he knew who Regulus was talking about and so did Raven. "Now what did that horrible girl do to you? I can assure you that you don't look exceptionally marred to me..."
"Ah, and what's that?" Regulus snarled as he stood and let down his pants for all the world to see a very realistic portrait of Kreacher, his favourite house-elf, inked on his arse.
"It looks like a tattoo," Raven observed quite correctly before she started snickering. Only a moment later, she was laughing out loud.
"That's not funny!" Regulus snapped indignantly.
"Well... actually, it is." Severus said mightily amused and it didn't take long until he, too, was laughing. Regulus Black had a portrait of Kreacher tattooed on his arse. "How did you come by that?"
"I told you!" Regulus tried to pull up his pants before Raven could fetch her camera to make a picture of his backside but failed. "That malicious friend of yours abused my generosity by making me drunk on that awful Muggle booze, then she seduced me shamelessly, and before I could react, I found myself committed to the mercy of a brute-looking Muggle with blond, spiky hair, instructing her how to use those needles on me-"
"Ah, and the heir of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, a mighty wizard with profound knowledge of the Dark Arts, was absolutely helpless in that... dire situation?"
"Stop mocking me, Snape! Didn't you listen? She drugged me!"
"Hmmm," Raven gave to consider, smirking broadly, "as far as I recall, you were paying for the drinks- now tell me more about the... seduction. So you and Edie-"
"Yesss," he hissed, "we had sex. So what? She hates my guts. She merely used me to get a victim for what she calls... art."
"Well, from what I've seen, the tattoo looks well done. So even if she truly hates your guts, she definitely appreciates your arse."
"Very funny. I'm marred forever..,"
"Ah, stop being so overly dramatic!" Severus interjected, slowly losing patience with the whining whelp. So he had a tattoo of Kreacher on his behind now- at least that was much easier to conceal than the mark Lord Voldemort left on his most loyal followers. "Just try to hide your affection for Edie Summers the next time you meet the Dark Lord."
"Believe me, Snape, I feel absolutely no affection for that awful Muggle girl!"
Severus and Raven exchanged a brief glance, knowing even without the help of Legilimency that Regulus was lying. He might not like Edie, but he most definitely had a crush on her- otherwise, she wouldn't have managed to get a wizard in Spike's tattoo studio only to get marred by her.
Much later, they found out, by chance, that Regulus had even paid for the oh-so-harsh treatment of his arse. He had paid for the ink as well as for Edie's further training, so the experience couldn't have been as traumatic as Regulus made it appear …
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