In The Wrong Place
Chapter 31
Steve waited anxiously for Mike to return...As the minutes passed Steve felt himself getting more worried...His stomach was starting to churn and he was starting to regret eating the breakfast...He really hoped that Mike could find it...He didn't want to let Joe down! Perhaps deep inside he felt he already had by not being able to talk him out of doing what he did...If the letter couldn't be found Joe's last words would be lost too and Steve didn't want that guilt on his conscience ...Tapping his hand on the bed nervously he kept his eyes on the door almost willing Mike to appear with the sweatshirt...On the other hand if anyone could find it Mike could...
"Come on Mike...Come on!" Steve muttered to himself...
Steve was starting to contemplate getting out of bed to see if he could see what was going on...The wait was really starting to get to him and despite the fact that only ten minutes had passed, it had felt like an hour to Steve...
Throwing back the covers, Steve very slowly sat up and even more carefully he swung his legs until he was sitting at the edge of the bed...His side was starting to hurt again and he hesitated before standing up remembering what had happened the last time he had tried to get to his feet down in the shower room...Taking a deep breath Steve slowly got to his feet but instantly regretted it as his legs turned to jelly and his knees buckled just as the door opened...Looking up hoping to see Mike, Steve was dismayed to see Dr. Armstrong instead...Seeing Steve out of bed and swaying alarmingly Dr. Armstrong rushed over to Steve and sat him back down...
"STEVE ! What do you think you're doing? You need to lie down and get some rest...I heard what happened earlier!..Steve you HAVE to rest and give your body a chance to heal..At the minute I'm waiting on your blood results to see if you can go home but if you insist on pushing yourself like this I'll be forced to keep you in here for a day or two to make SURE you rest!..."
Hearing this, Steve looked at the doctor in horror not wanting to stay here one second more than was necessary!...
"Ok, ok Doc...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have tried to get out of bed...I was just looking for Mike that's all..."
Seeing that Steve seemed visibly anxious about something the doctor took Steve's pulse and found it racing!...Studying Steve closely he asked...
"Why were you looking for Mike? What's going on Steve?"
"I just lost something...It's a long story...Mike's gone to look for it!"
Not wanting to push Steve too hard...he decided to concentrate on calming Steve down and getting him back into bed...
"Ok Steve...Let's get you back into bed...If Mike's on the case you can count on him finding whatever it is you've misplaced...Now you need to stop worrying and take nice slow deep breaths for me. Your pulse is way too fast!"
Not wanting to give the doctor any excuse not to let him go home ,Steve did what he was told and made a conscious effort to calm himself down and slowed his breathing down as best he could...With the doctor's help he managed to get back into bed but the movement caused pain in his side and despite his best efforts to suppress it, a low groan escaped his lips...The doctor heard it much to Steve's dismay and immediately came around the bed to Steve's left side...
"Is your left side hurting you?"
Cursing himself for alerting the doctor to his discomfort he reckoned he had better tell the truth...
"Yeah...a little..."
"Did you hurt it getting out of bed?" the doctor asked checking Steve's dressings for signs of fresh bleeding and gratefully noting that there weren't any...
"No...it was starting to hurt before that..." Steve admitted still watching the door anxiously for Mike's return...
Checking Steve's chart the doctor announced...
"Ok...You're overdue pain meds...hopefully that's all it is...I'll go get them for you and see if I can find Mike...In the meantime you stay put and REST ! Doctors orders...Ok?"
Steve nodded and watched as the doctor left the room. Where was Mike?...He was gone fifteen minutes now!...His nerves were on edge...What if the letter was gone?...No...he didn't even want to contemplate that!...Banging the bed with his fist he yelled...
"DAMN IT!"...just as the door opened again and Mike appeared...
Sitting up a little further in the bed, Steve looked at Mike questioningly and anxiously at the same time but before he had a chance to say anything Mike produced the sweatshirt from a bag he was holding and quickly sought to reassure the young man...
"It's ok Steve...I found it..It's alright buddy boy!"
Visibly relieved Steve sank back against the pillows and brushed a hand through his hair...
"Thank God!...Where was it? What took you so long? I was going out of mind here!.Is the letter still in it?" Steve rattled out still a little on edge despite also being relieved, and adding to his discomfort was the throbbing in his side which had now starting hurting badly...
"Ok...ok buddy boy...Calm down now...I met Dr. Armstrong out in the corridor and he told me you had yourself all worked up...The letter's here..." Mike said pulling it out of the pocket of the sweatshirt..."You can relax now...Ok?...It ended up in the ICU in a property bag...Nobody remembered it in the transfer this morning."
Steve looked at the letter in Mike's hands and silently thanked God it had been found...Before he could ask any more about the letter, the pain in his side worsened and took his breath away...
"Oh... Mike...!" Steve managed to gasp as he gripped his side and closed his eyes tight...
Alarmed at Steve's sudden distress Mike rushed over to Steve...
"Steve! What's wrong? Is it your side?"
Steve merely nodded...
"Hold on Steve! I'll get the doctor!..." and with that Mike raced towards the door just as it opened and Dr. Armstrong came hurrying in...
"DOC !"
"It's ok Mike I have pain meds for him here!" the doctor announced seeing Steve in pain and Mike looking very concerned ...
Reaching Steve's bed Dr. Armstrong prepped Steve's arm and proceeded to inject Steve with his pain medication ...
"Just hang on Steve !...This will just take a few minutes to kick in ...You seemed to have missed your pain meds in the change over this morning...Next time your side starts to hurt don't wait until you're in agony to let us know ...Ok?"
"Ok...ok..."Steve gasped really hoping he was right about how fast the pain killers would kick in...The pain had been so intense that he hadn't even minded the needle as he normally would have done...The doctor and Mike stayed with him for the next few minutes until the pain meds had started to do their job...He had kept his eyes closed tight and concentrated on his breathing while the pain gradually lessened...While his eyes were shut he felt someone's hand on his arm and assumed it was Mike...He also felt someone taking his pulse and felt the cold steel of the stethoscope against his chest and presumed the doctor was monitoring him closely...Eventually when the pain had eased to a dull ache Steve opened his eyes and indeed saw Mike standing on one side of his bed looking very concerned and the doctor on the other...Placing a hand on Steve's shoulder, the doctor was the first one to speak...
"How is it now?...Has it eased up any?..."
"Yeah...It's much better...Thanks..."
"Ok...That's good!...But mark my words Steve...I told you that side of yours was going to hurt like hell for a few days!..You've got two fresh wounds that have been stitched twice not to mention tissue and muscle damage that needs time to heal...Don't let the pain get that bad in future before you get some pain killers...Alright?"
"Ok Doc..I won't ...and thanks again."
"Ok...Try to get some rest and I'll go chase down those blood results and see if we can let you home later.!"
With that the doctor left and Steve turned his attention back to Mike...
Mike had stood quietly and hadn't said much since his painful episode started although worry was visibly etched on his face...
"I'm alright Mike...honest...Stop worrying!"
"You're sure? "
"Yeah I'm ok...Really!...Now back to Joe's letter...Should we read it?"
"Well it's not sealed and it is related to a crime scene...so yes I think we should..."Mike said taking out the letter from the envelope and reaching into his inside coat pocket for his glasses...
"Oh oh..I forgot my glasses!...Are you up to reading it buddy boy ? I'll understand if you're not ..."Mike said sympathetically not wanting to upset Steve again after only just managing to cheer him up.
"No...it's ok Mike...I'll read it..."Steve said holding out his hand for the letter...
"You're sure?" Mike said trying to read Steve's face...
"Yeah...I'm sure Mike..." and taking the letter off Mike he unfolded it and started to read it...Rather than reading the whole thing out loud Steve decided to read it and then summarise it for Mike...
Steve read quietly for a few seconds and all the time Mike was anxiously studying him to make sure in his current weakened state that it wasn't having an adverse effect on him...
"Well buddy boy?"
"It's a confession alright...It says he drew his gun and Graves grabbed his arm...They tussled and the gun went off...and Mel fell...He says he didn't mean for it to happen...and...and...Aw Mike!..."Steve said lowering the letter and brushing a hand through his hair...
"What buddy boy?"...Mike asked concerned that reading the letter was getting too much for Steve...
Taking up the letter again and looking at Mike sadly, Steve continued...
"It says that ...he...he couldn't live with the guilt of killing... his best friend."
Steve's voice almost broke and he could feel a lump forming in his throat as the letter revealed Joe's inner torment at what had been a tragic accident...Seeing Mike watching him Steve swallowed hard and read the rest of the letter...It got harder to read as it went on as Joe's writing seemed to become more shaky and illegible so holding it up closer to his face Steve squinted as he made out the words...
"It says and I quote .."even the booze doesn't numb the pain anymore"...He says he doesn't deserve to go on after what he did...He says he...can't go on!...The rest goes on... asking for Nina and Corky's forgiveness..."
When Steve finished reading the letter he put it down on the bed and felt the lump reform in his throat...Rubbling the back of his neck he leaned back against the pillows and suddenly felt really tired...Neither man spoke for a few minutes as they processed what they had just heard in Joe's letter although Mike was watching Steve very closely and didn't like the despairing look on the young man's face...Brushing a hand through his hair again Steve was the first to break the silence...
"Oh man...man...Mike I blew it!... I really messed up..."
Seeing Steve blaming himself and looking miserable Mike immediately put a hand on the young man's arm...
"Hey, hey now!...You did no such thing...What kind of talk is that?"
"I should have been able to talk him around Mike..."...Steve said starting to get upset...
Squeezing Steve's arm gently Mike continued firmly...
"Now you listen to me buddy boy...I've seen you talk people out of jumping off buildings and into giving up their guns more times that I can remember since we started working together and well...you've got a knack for it...You're good at talking to people Steve...Quite frankly... you've saved a lot of lives because of it!..If you couldn't talk him around...then nobody could have...You have to believe that buddy boy!"
"Mike...you don't understand...I thought I had talked him around you know...He gave me his bullets...His gun was empty...so I let my guard down...I closed my eyes...just for a couple of seconds...That's when he handcuffed me...Mike ...If I'd just stayed alert...maybe...just maybe things would have turned out different..."
"Steve!..For crying out loud will you listen to yourself...You were hurt and sick and bleeding...You had a fever and you were in terrible pain...Anyone else would have been passed out on the floor...Instead you tackled Joe to let Jeannie get away and you did everything you could to stop him...Steve...will you please listen to me?...You read that letter buddy boy...Not even you could have talked Joe out of doing what he did...As sad as it may be Joe's story wasn't going to end any other way..."
"I wish that helped..."
"It wasn't your fault Steve and you have to stop blaming yourself!"
Steve nodded wearily...
"Ok Mike..Ok ...What are you going to do now...you know...with the letter?"
Picking the letter up and placing it back in the envelope Mike then placed it in his inside jacket pocket...
"I'll take copies of it for the case files and as soon as Jeannie gets here I'll bring it over to Corky and Nina personally...We owe that much to Joe..."
"Mike...there's still something bothers me about this whole thing!...What about all the anger he displayed towards you?...Was it just a diversion or did he really mean to kill you?.. I don't get it Mike!"
"That's a very good question buddy boy... I'm not sure...Did he write that letter when he was holding you and Jeannie ?"
"No...No...he had it already written.."
"Then it's hard to know...You saw him at that meeting...I don't think Joe was that good an actor...Maybe he hoped I'd be the one to take him down...Then when I saw the gun was empty that I'd have it on my conscience ...Maybe that was supposed to be my punishment...I guess we'll never know the answer to that one buddy boy..."
Steve sighed again and rubbed his tired eyes...
"Don't dwell on it Steve..What's done is done...There's nothing any of us can do to change what happened...Are you ok?"
"Yeah...I'm fine Mike...just really tired..."
"You need to get some sleep!...But just before you do there's one thing I need to talk to you about Steve if you're up to it?"
Steve looked at Mike intrigued...
"Sure...What is it Mike?"
"Well...I never got a chance to thank you for what you did yesterday...You know what Jeannie means to me and you took a big risk tackling Joe to let her escape.."
"Aw Mike...You don't have to thank me..."
"Now,now let me finish buddy boy...please...You know I'm no good at the mushy stuff so just let me say what I need to...Ok?...You risked your life to save ours...You could have been killed...I can never thank you enough for what you did buddy boy getting Jeannie out of danger the way you did..." then seeing Steve smiling at him he decided to take it one step further...
"You really care about Jeannie don't you?"
Steve looked curiously at Mike...
"Of course I do...You know how I feel about both of you Mike...You've both always treated me like family...That's why I don't need any thanks...I'd do anything I had to in order protect you two...You know that don't you?"
Mike smiled at the similarities in both Steve and Jeannie's answers to his questions...Both citing family as the reason they cared the way they did...
"Sure...I know that and we do consider you part of our family but that wasn't really what I was asking you buddy boy..."
Steve looked at Mike even more puzzled...
"Mike...I don't know if those painkillers have fogged up my brain but I'm not sure I understand what you're asking me Mike?"
"Well...I guess what I'm asking you Steve is...Are you in love with my Jeannie?"...