The next day Canada woke up to his brother loudly snoring besides him.
He struggled out of the blankets and plopped onto the floor groaning.
Rubbing his eyes he walked over to his suitcase and dug through it and pulled out some parchment and a pen.
He went over to the desk and began writing.
Dear England
The trip here was okay. We arrived on time even with America having to threaten a kid named Malfoy with a gun. Don't get too mad at him please, he was just protecting me. So far there hasn't been too much non-Malfoy related drama except Alfred having his 'strategic retreats' from the ghosts. Both I and Alfred were sorted into Gryffindor. (All though it was close calls for both of us, me Hufflepuff and him Slytherin). Actually America is sleeping right now along with most of the school. I guess jet lag hasn't worn off yet eh.
Sincerely
Canada/Mathew (America's brother)
Ps. Alfred said to tell you HI Iggy and that your cooking is terrible.
Mathew signed off and gave the letter to the owl and watched it fly off into the sunrise.
Letting out a yawn he walked over to his bag and took out his the History of Hockey book, his IPod and his red and white maple leaf headphones, and sat on the bed waiting for his brother, while reading and listening to When Canada Rules the World by his favorite band, Arrogant Worms.
Hey you know what they say about stereotypes.
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Meanwhile
"What do you mean they don't exist, they are here at this bloody school?" Draco screamed into the phone. "I don't care what you have to do, find something, anything about them." Draco finished off and slammed the phone down in its cradle.
"Ugh how dare he report with nothing to tell me! What the bloody hell?" thought Draco aloud. "Why are all their files either non-existent or blocked by the government?" Draco groaned as he stormed down the hall fuming.
"What am I going to do now? I have no dirt on them".
Draco paced pensively up and down the corridor near the bottom of where the Gryffindor and Slytherin's steps connect.
Then he got an idea.
'I don't need their secrets…at least not yet, I could do a fine job embarrassing them without it. And I maybe Potter, Weasel and Mudblood would get caught in the crossfire to.' Draco thought. 'Not necessary, but certainly a bonus, now where if just need to find some toad slime and that firework launcher my grams sent me for Christmas'.
With that Draco stalked off plan in mind.
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"But Mattie it's, like, seven in the morning."
Mathew sighed and pulled the cover off his brother.
"Mattie" America whined. "Just five more minutes"
"No, if we don't leave in the next ten minutes we'll be late for breakfast" Mattie resolved.
Still grumbling Alfred just buried his head deeper in the pillow and groaned "I don't wanna".
Then Mattie got an idea. "Fine" he waved off "we'll just miss the Hamburgers"
"I'm up" sprung up Alfred. "Oh dang, it's 7:05, why didn't you wake me earlier? We're like, totally gonna' be late!"
Mathew rolled his eyes while his brother frantically ran around throwing on the first things he pulled out of his suit case.
He ran out the door grabbing his signature bomber jacket and Mathew's wrist.
"Come on dude we have to run!"
Pulling along Mathew and running faster than humanly possible. (Probably because they're not human), Alfred dashed down the hall until he caught up to Harry, Hermione and Ron.
"Hey dudes, wait up" Alfred yelled, stopping and making skid marks on the floor right besides them.
"So are you guys heading down to breakfast?" He questioned, cocking his head to side and bouncing up and down like a puppy.
Mathew internally groaned for comparing his brother to a puppy.
Hermione looked at them, still not trusting them, considering they have not answered a single one of her questions. After a moments deliberation, she decided the best way to figure out what they were hiding is to befriend them.
"Yes, would you like to join us?"
Ron and Harry looked at Hermione like she was crazy and they sent her a look that Clearly said 'why the bloody hell did you invite them?'
She sent a look back that clearly said 'I'll explain latter, just shut up and play along'.
These were really obvious faces, but Canada was too busy trying to get his wrist out of the vice known as Americas arm and America was being his usual completely oblivious self.
"Sure dudett that would be awesome".
He started to skip, still smiling and probably daydreaming about hamburgers. Mathew was just not paying attention and daydreaming about Beavers.
Until the two heard the unmistakable click.
A click the two had sadly become very well acquainted with over the years.
"Duck and cover" The two yelled.
Alfred pushed Harry and Ron out of the way and Mathew did the same to Hermione.
America and Canada jumped just as the slimy green balls were shot out of the cannon, grazing the bottom of their shoes.
"What is that?!" Ron said pointing to the thing rapidly shooting out balls of goo.
"They're two firework launchers enchanted to not stop firing, until the target is either incapacitated or the machine destroyed" Hermione said matter-o-factly.
"They were used as weapons in the w…" Hermione stated to lecture but was cut off by Ron.
"This is not the time for a lecture!" Ron shouted.
The three looked in awe at the twins dodging every single ball moving faster than possible.
What the trio doesn't know is that this is dangerous.
Mathew and Alfred slipped into their World War Two modes. And when that happens, something (or more usually someone), is getting destroyed.
"Alpha beta, Attack plan C" Shouted America. "You take Italy on the left, I'll take Germany on the right" With that the brothers nodded and started to back flip forward.
Seriously. BACKFLIP, as if this was a James Bond movie.
Canada yelled back to his brothers, who out of the corner of his eye he saw stumble a bit.
"America, keep formation".
"America?" questioned Ron and Harry.
Hermione just rolled her eyes and said "that is what you find odd about this situation, not the fact they are back flipping, calling out military commands and not getting hit by impossible to dodge projectiles!"
"Canada, move forward, we'll booth attack at the same time" Alfred commanded, "On one, two, three".
They both, with perfect precision jumped clear over the launchers, which were over five feet tall and landed behind the machines.
Then they booth kicked the back crushing the metal, and then spinning them to face each other and pushing them together to crash and rain down parts.
Alfred continued kicking the broken metal and screaming "Die German scum" and that brought Mathew out of the trance.
He looked around at the shocked trio of faces and Draco Malfoy, obviously stunned at the fact that his fool proof plan was foiled.
Mathew just stared at them one by one and squeaked out
"Oh, maple not again".
Then and only then he realized his brother was still in the WW2 trance, that happens when they are in danger.
He had his gun out and ready and searching for the rest of the "good for nothing Italian cowards" and "Crazy evil Japs".
"Where are they, where are they! Canada clear the area of civilians, we don't want them caught in the stray fire".
"Alfred!" Mathew yelled running over and put his hand over his brother mouth to shut him up and repeating "It's alright the battles over, we won, calm down now."
Everyone was already shocked and confused, but they definitely didn't expect what happened next.
"Fine" he yelled pushing of his brother "go and desert me just like you did during the revolution, it's fine, who needs ya'll anyway".
Mathew looked as if Alfred had just shot him.
That face and the unshed tears in Mathew's eyes are what brought America out of the daze.
"Oh my gosh, what did I just say, Mathew I am so, so, so, so, so sorry. I-I know you would never abandon me again."
This time when Mathew hugged him he hugged back.
"Love ya bro" he said.
"Love you to eh," answered Mathew.
They got lost in the moment until they heard a loud clearing of a throat from behind them.
"What the hell was that? When my father hears you broke my rocket launcher, you will be done for! Although I'm sure you're so poor you'll just have to work as our servants to pay us back" Draco smirked at the end.
"We certainly can use a pair of servers so agile" He continued. "Where did you learn it, running from the cops on your robberies?"
"Hey we are not the pirates in the FACE family. That's Iggy's thing" Alfred stated confidently.
"Pirate?" Ron asked, still extremely confused.
Blue eyes bore into grey for a full minute until
Alfred just turned around, flipped him a birdie and said "me and Matt are going to breakfast", and just stalked off.
Leaving four very confused teens and a pile of scrap metal and frog goo.
-o-
The four teens stood in the abandoned hallway.
Mouths open and shifting their gaze from the pile of now useless junk and each other.
Harry was the first to break the silence
"Does anyone have a clue to what just happened, and why apparently the new students just pulled a James Bond?"
Even Malfoy for once was too flabbergasted to speak.
"Also" piped up Hermione, "Why did they call each other 'Canada' and 'America' and the machines 'Germany' and 'Italy?"
"And what was that business about the revolution at the end?" asked Ron.
"For once I agree… what just happened?" Malfoy finally responded, never taking his eyes off the pile.
"By the way" he continued "that launcher was made out of steel."
"So both brothers just punched through solid steel…" trailed off Harry.
They stood in dead air still staring at the pile.
"Draco…" started Harry. "I know you said you would never help us, but for once please make an exception. What did your father find on them?"
Draco raised his eyes and met Harry's.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but if I had anything I would tell you, according to every search I have come up with they either don't exist or that or are being denied that they exist by the American and Canadian government."
Then his face went from shocked, to anger, to deadpan.
"Potter" Draco said. "Congratulations. You and your friends have just moved from three, four and five on my list, to dead last."
The three glared at Draco questionably.
"Don't be so flattered" Draco continued, "I don't like you three anymore than I did before. It's just now Mattie and Alfred… Mostly Alfred, are now occupying space number one through ninety seven."
Then Draco strolled right passed them and into the cafeteria.
Then after watching him leave, the trio scrambled to try to catch up to Mathew and Alfred.
At least if that's their real names.
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"Okay here is how I say we play it, we act as if nothing happened and avoid the conversation. If they bring it up just say when we were young we loved the Military and made up our strategies and plans and I wanted to be America and you wanted to be Canada".
Mathew blinked twice wide eyed.
That is the single sanest thing to ever come out of his brothers' mouth when America wasn't drunk.
It was scary, way more than all of his threats, guns and nuclear weapons combined.
One reason America acts like an idiot, a smart superpower would scare the shit out of the rest of the world.
"O-ok" Mathew gaped, still stunned by his brother who is pulling him towards the grand room.
As soon as Alfred walked in he put back on his movie star smile, and let out a loud 'hero laugh' and announced "The Hero Is Here" to the entire room.
He pulled Mathew towards a group of empty chairs and sat down.
"So dude, what class we do we have first" Alfred asked while adding barbeque sauce to his Burger.
"I believe charms is first" Replied Mathew.
They both looked at the clock and saw it was seven thirty in the morning.
All of that madness took place in less than thirty minutes.
"Alfred, we still have an hour until class, you can slow down."
America, going back to ignoring his brother, he continued shoving down burger after burger, earning both disgusted and impressed glances from the rest of the table.
Canada daintily, the way papa had taught him, began to cut his pancakes, bathed in maple syrup, into bite sized pieces.
As soon as he had finished his first pancake Malfoy walked into the room and surprisingly ignored them.
Not that either of them were complaining, it was just odd.
Then walked in walked in the trio and sadly unlike Draco, they headed straight towards them.
"Remember the plan" Alfred whispered to Mathew.
The three sad down across from them and once again had their eyes trying to bore into their brains.
"Howdy ya'll" said Alfred, completely disregarding reading the atmosphere.
The three dropped their gaze for a second and looked confused, but almost instantaneously it was back.
"Cut the stupidity act. We all know you're too smart for that. Tell us what happened back there" fumed Ron.
"Tell us everything" Hermione stated.
"Well first, what act?" Asked Alfred genuinely confused.
"And second gee-wiz I thought a guy was entitled to a personal life but I guess not" Alfred giggled. "Sadly it's not anything cool like we're spies or anything. Although that would be Awesome, like awesomer than Gilbert awesome".
The three stared blankly and Mathew sighed and shook his head "Don't ask".
"Well anyways as I was saying, sadly no super cool story. It's just we were super into the military and war type stuff, especially the World Wars, and as kids we learned all of the fighting techniques and stuff." Alfred concluded.
"So why did you call each other Canada and America, and the launchers Germany and Italy and I think at one point mentioned Japan" asked Harry.
"Very good question, my dear Watson" America stated in a British accent, "well as wee children, me and dear Mathew decided it would be quite splendid if during our little reenactments, we represented a dear country. I being a true American of coarse honored my country and Mathew graced Canada by representing it." Alfred continued still in his British accent. "And of course anyone who knows the slightest of the Second World War would understand that the U.S and Canada were part of the Allies who fought against the Axis which consisted of Germany, Italy and Japan".
"That still doesn't explain that bit about the 'revolution' at the end" Harry stated.
Both Alfred and Mathew visibly winced at that, but quickly recovered, although the act did not go unnoticed by Hermione and the Slytherin a few tables away.
"W-well" Mathew spoke up. "In the American revolution the Canadians sided with the British, so we like to add that bit at the end when we win a battle, for dramatic effect". At the end Canada smiled.
Still suspicious Hermione asked "so what about your strength and his ability to disappear?" Hermione questioned.
The two turned to each other, minds racing for an answer
Until hit them.
Well, hit Alfred.
On the head.
There was package dropped by one of the owls and it had
Dear Git and brother of Git, written on the front.
The twins stared apprehensively at the box, mentally willing it to go away, but the trio would have none of that.
"Well open it" Pleaded Ron.
Slowly America opened the box expecting some sort of poisonous snake to bite him.
Why on earth wasn't it a poisonous snake?
Amer-Alfred you git!
The box yelled out at him.
He sighed and wished he had waited till he was alone with this,
You bloody worthless idiot.
Gah when I see you I am going to KILL you, and not with a cursed chair this time.
"Told you" America sighed to Canada.
"Cursed chair?" exclaimed the trio.
Where did I go wrong with you? WHERE DID I GO WRONG!
I know you are a spaz who can't read the bleeding atmosphere to save his life, but COME ON.
You threatened a kid, With a Gun!
First, how on Earth did you manage to get a GUN on a magic train, and why you would bring one to a magic school is beyond me.
And Second YOU ARE BLOODY NUTS.
Out of any kid you could have threatened you pick the ONLY ONE, THE ONLY ONE, Who could have any chance at tracking your files
THE ONLY ONE
Are you completely daft?
Do you really want the whole school to know everything about you?
I did NOT raise you like this!
Third STOP CALLING ME IGGY. my name is Arthur.
It's not that hard; let me spell it out for you
A-R-T-H-U-R
Okay
Arthur
I have half a mind, HALF A MIND to come down to that school right now to give you a good whopping upside the head.
And just to let you know I am NOT paying for anything you break, understand me.
I don't care of you are going to this school because of me; I am not going in debt because you are a KLUTZ.
The voice on the other end took several deep breaths and calmed his voice
Any way.
Mathew you don't need to remind me who you are, I know I may have forgotten you a few times, but you're my little brother too.
Besides I like you a lot better than Yankee git.
If you happen to break anything, just send the bill to me since I owe you for watching your brother anyway.
Let me know if you grow at all
Even an inch
And dear I have some tea and scones waiting for you when you get home.
Which by the way git-who-shall-not-be-named are BLOODY DELICIOUS!
You just have no taste in the culinary arts.
I really hope you decided to listen to this in privet.
Although knowing the git this is probably being played in front of the entire school cafeteria
Alfred sunk low in his seat
"Stupid mind reader England" he grumbled with his arms crossed.
And no I did not read your mind America, unless you forgot I raised you.
"And this people good people, is why I declared independence" Alfred muttered to himself.
Why is still beyond me
But just remember to Owl me whenever anything important happens,
I'm already covering for you two at the damn meetings, so please make it worth it.
Sincerely to Mathew and Screw you to Git-who-shall-not-be-named
Arthur Kirkland
Right now most of the cafeteria was doubled over in laughter and Mathew was using his invisibility to go unnoticed.
Sadly that is not one of Alfred's talents to he just sinks low in his chair hoping no one will comment until the bell rings.
"So that's the big, bad older brother. He sounds even more girly than Madeline". Draco yelled from across the Cafeteria.
For once, Alfred just sunk in his seat, took it like a man and tried not to cry.
The bell rings and for the first time in his four hundred year old life, he is looking forward to class.