Chapter 15 - A Proposal Most Indecent

Myria was relieved when Mister Bent suggested they leave the vault and return to the lobby to complete the remainder of her business. Unfortunately, yet again, life proved to be less simple than she wished. In this instance, due to being intercepted on the way by a junior clerk.

A very clearly nervous junior clerk, who spent several moments trying to clear his throat and then delivered half his message in a falsetto. *cough* "Chief Cashier Bent," *cough* "I am to tell you that" *squeak* "Mr. Lavish would be pleased to make Lady LeJean's acquaintance."

For Myria, this seemed like nothing more than yet another bank employee wishing to assist in what, to her, seemed like a rather simple transaction. It was hard to understand how having so many people attempting to be very… helpful… could instead begin to approach something closer to irritating. However, watching Mr. Bent's face, she determined that this was different. It seemed as if his smile, which had been clearly legitimate when discussing the gold only minutes before, was now painted onto his face and looking for a corner to hide in[1].

"Pleased to make her acquaintance." A slight look of distaste passed over his features before the smile covered it again. "Indeed. How descriptive." He sighed. "Lady LeJean, I don't suppose you have pressing business that would prevent you from meeting the Chairman of our fine establishment?" He looked almost hopeful.

"I do not believe so, Mr. Bent. It would quite depend on how long the meeting was to last."

"That, I have found, can be quite variable, depending on the circumstances." He sighed again. "In that case, please do accompany me."

Ascending two more floors, they paused before a set of dark and elaborately carved wooden doors. Mr. Bent knocked quietly before opening one and motioning Myria to precede him.

Behind a very large and imposing desk sat what Myria would have described as a large man in every sense of the word. Not only his physical form was large, but she quickly learned that his personality was as well.[2]

"Ah! My Lady LeJean, such a pleasure to welcome a new and valued client to our esteemed bank!" He boomed as he rose and circumnavigated the desk like a gas giant rounding a star.

"I thank you Mr. Lavish, b-

"Please, call me Joshua. All of my friends do." Reaching her, he held out his hand, and she hesitantly offered hers. Bowing over with a flourish and kissing the back of her hand should not have impacted her, but she found it disconcerting and slightly warming. Which complicated her ability to process his words. Friend? We have just met. How could I be considered his friend? "Very… well… Joshua. As I was preparing to state, a personal welcome was not required. I am pleased to do business with your bank.

"Oh it's not my bank, of course. It's your bank! And of course, the shareholders and the board have some small say!" He laughed.

It was an infectious laugh, she found. Something about him made him imminently… likeable. What is it about this human?

"I see."

"Would you care to join me for a drink, Lady LeJean, unless Lord LeJean would object?"

"Lord LeJean?" Her brows furrowed. "Oh, I see. No Mist-, my apologies, Joshua, there is no Lord LeJean. I am not espoused."

Mr. Bent suddenly looked even more pained, and the tic under his left eye began a small symphony as he attempted to interject. "Mister Chairman, surely-"

Joshua fixed him with a suddenly hard look. "Ah, Mr. Bent, you are still here. Please don't let me keep you, I'll be happy to see Lady LeJean downstairs after our little friendly chat."

Mr. Bent's shoulders slumped. "Yes, Mr. Chairman," he managed and turned toward the door. Myria, for her part, was sure she heard him mumble "Yes I am sure you will, but will she?" as his hunched form disappeared and the doors closed behind him. She turned back to Mr. Lavish to find him smiling broadly at her and offering her a private tour of his suite.

It was scarcely ten minutes before Myria, exuding an air of injured and righteous ire, escorted herself to Mr. Bent's office. She had been required to ask directions of yet another junior clerk, and the expression on her face had him fleeing as soon as he answered her.

"Lady LeJean!" He took stock of her flushed face and flaring nostrils. "Oh dear. I am terribly sorry."

"That… human!" She strained to gain a purchase on her emotions. "That person! Man! Made suggestions to me that I do not feel were at all appropriate."

Mr. Bent looked even more contrite now that his fears were confirmed. "I am terribly sorry, my lady. Mr. Lavish has certain, character flaws, that we are required by the realities of our position to overlook. I apologize if he was less than gentlemanly.

Myria's hands twitched of their own accord. "Gentlemanly? Mr. Bent, when Mister Lavish offered to provide a tour of his suite, I assumed that he meant to show his private work areas, which did in fact intrigue me." She found her stomach beginning to roil. "I did not imagine that I would end up in his living chambers!"

Bent cringed. "My lady, I must again apologize. Mr. Lavish would never make advances unless he believed they were welcome." He made a sour face. "And unfortunately I have discovered that in many cases they are quite welcome." He lowered his voice. "It is not something I find tasteful."

There was a quiet moment, during which Myria found them sharing a silent shudder, which seemed to make her feel better. Could it be that she had misunderstood Mr. Lavish's offer? "Then, perhaps I misunderstood his intentions throughout. I am afraid I am not used to people I do not know well expressing such focused attention upon me." She took a deep breath. "He even placed his hand upon my person without permission!"

Bent looked horrified, and Myria considered that perhaps a distinction was in order. She understood, by this time, that some human bits were more private and inviolate than others.

"To be specific, it was my shoulder," she shuddered at the memory nonetheless, "and he removed his hand when I demanded he do so."

A wave of relief had washed over Bent's face as she explained, though whether it was because her anger was ebbing or because Lavish had not shown her his "special cabinet", even he could not have said. "I will speak with the chairman as soon as possible, my lady, and express again your displeasure. Again, I cannot apologize enough."

Myria felt her anger subsiding further, giving way to a more analytical consideration. Why did discussing it seem to take some of the horror from it? "I do not believe that is required. Considering now, he apologized many times but I was too angry to accept them." She thought for a moment. "Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass along my acceptance. I feel it is needful, but I do not wish to meet Mr. Lavish again."

"Of course, of course my lady. And again, I must apologize as well on behalf of the bank."

"Apology accepted, Mr. Bent. Now, I do wish to leave." In fact, she felt the strong urge to go and bathe, as irrational as it seemed. She felt slightly soiled. The way that human had looked at her, after she had followed him into what had turned out to be a private sitting room, made her feel as if she were a piece of… of chocolate that he desired to consume. Yes. That was it. It was… she believed Jessica would call it an 'oogy' feeling. She did not wish to repeat it at all.

Bent escorted her quickly back to the main lobby, where she was surprised and elated to see that Cheery had not, as she expected, returned to the watch house, but was instead still sitting on the leather couch near the entrance. The expression on Cheery's face could have powdered solid rock, but the scowl reduced somewhat when she saw Myria exit the side door with Bent.

It took only a few minutes more to obtain the desired funds in coin while Cheery waited, and she finally found herself outside the bank with Cheery, blinking in the late afternoon sun and both assaulted and soothed by the sounds of the street.

Cheery stamped her feet beside her, working some feeling back into her legs. "Well it took you long enough! What did they need, your entire life story?"

Myria flinched. That would have been rather short or immensely long, depending on how she told it. "I had a rather troubling time. First there was yet more paperwork, and then Mr. Bent escorted me so that I could observe the gold vault."

Cheery's jaw dropped at that, and her eyes shone. "What was that like? Did you… did you get to touch it?"

Gold, Myria decided, was like chocolate for dwarves. Oh dear. "No I am afraid not. And I was glad to be out of the place. So many iron bars." She shivered at the memory.

"Ah…. yes I could see that."

"And then I met the chairman of the bank, Mr. Lavish, and he made… inappropriate advances."

"Oh dear. You met the infamous Joshua Lavish? I wish I'd known that might happen, I could have warned you."

Myria frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well he's got quite the reputation as a lady's man."

"A… lady's man?" She parsed this sentence, and decided that it did not seem to fit at all. It would be more appropriate to say that many other human females were that man's ladies.

"Well, he's not exactly my type, of course, but they say he can be very charming. Personally, I think it's the wealth. All that money, it's like one of those moan things."

Myria thought for a second. "Pheromones?"

"Right. Them. So, the big peacock hit on you?"

Myria's eyes widened. "No! He did not strike me!"

"No no, that's just another word for made advances. Propositioned you."

Myria analyzed that one and found it fit the situation well. "Yes, I fear that I gave him incorrect impressions of my availability. He placed his hand on my person and asked if I wished to do… intimate things. Though it may have been through my error, bec-"

"None of that!" Cheery reached up and grabbed Myria's upper arm for emphasis. "A lady's mind is her own, and so is her body, dwarf or human." She huffed. "You were too nice, seems to me. Why if it'd been me, he would have been trying to find his jewels in his throat. These boots aren't just for show, you know." She kicked a loose cobblestone for emphasis, sending it flying across the street and nearly concussing a passerby.

Myria looked confused. What would striking someone with your boot have to do with precious ston- oohhhhhh… it is a play on words.

"Sorry, I guess a lady like yourself wouldn't know about things like that."

Myria nodded. "I believe I understand your meaning, and it may be that I need to learn such skills."

"That's a definite possibility there. Just remember," Cheery grinned, but there was some steel in it, "no means no, especially if it's backed up by a battle-axe at groin level."

[1] Not that she would have used quite that colorful of imagery, but it's close to the impression she got.

[2] Many women, upon seeing him for the first time, had politely termed him "robust". Upon getting to know him better, they continued to use the descriptor for entirely different reasons.